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To Be Known and Called Friend

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A Beautiful Scar to Remind Me
of My Daughterhood

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What in the World Is God Doing?

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In the Quiet, I Am Still His Beloved

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We Do This Because Love Prays

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When You’re Tired of Being Second Choice

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To Be Known and Called Friend

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You Are Worth Taking Care Of

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A Beautiful Scar to Remind Me
of My Daughterhood

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A Letter to Our Future Selves
in the Age of Coronavirus

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Is There Someone to Love Me?

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When It’s All Too Much

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When the Fear Just Won’t Stop

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If You’re Back at the Beginning

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You Can’t Have Courage Without Connection

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Do We Just Have to Put Up with Stress? Maybe Not

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Unseen Broken Places

by in:Brokenness

We tried to get rid of it.

One sunny Saturday morning, we hauled the cement garden statue of a woman onto the front lawn with a collection of other unwanted items, in preparation for a neighborhood yard sale.

Moments before the early shoppers began to arrive, a little voice asked, “You’re not getting rid of Sarah, are you?”

I turned to see my four-year-old daughter clinging to the statue, which apparently she’d named Sarah.

“You can’t sell Sarah, Mommy. She’s my friend!”

My husband emerged from the garage to see her nuzzling the statue and whispering comforting words into its cold, sculpted ear.

“That’s Sarah,” I explained. “We can’t get rid of her.”

“Because she’s my friend, Daddy!”

He placed an armload of boxes onto the grass, shrugged, and hauled Sarah back into the garage.

And just like that, Sarah found her new home, pushed up against the garage wall, safely nestled between a step ladder and a bag of insulation.

In the months following her rescue, Sarah transformed from an unwanted piece of junk into an honorary member of the family. All was well. Until the day when, as my daughter watched and waved, the passenger-side mirror of my husband’s car knocked into Sarah while he backed out of the garage on his way to work.

Sarah wobbled and crashed to the floor with a sickening clang, breaking into several pieces.

My sweet girl burst into tears and ran to her shattered friend’s side. She dropped to her knees with a wail. “I loved Sarah, but I can’t love her anymore because she’s too broken!”

It occurred to me that this might be a good opportunity to teach her not to love the things of this world. And yet, there was something more pressing I needed to tell her. Something more important.

I sat down on the floor and pulled my devastated daughter onto my lap. Then I began to show her all of my broken spots: a burn mark on my wrist; three scars left by stitches from various incidents; the place where I once chipped my tooth.

“Mommy has lots of broken spots,” I said. “Do you still love me even though I’m broken?”

She nodded.

“What about God?” I asked. “Do you think God still loves me even though I’m broken?”

“Yes. God loves you very much, Mommy.”

“That’s right,” I said. “God loves me very much, and He loves you very much, too. You can never be too broken to be loved.”

I held my daughter awhile and reflected on all my unseen broken spots – the piercing heartbreak of loss; past regrets which sometimes threaten to overwhelm me with feelings of shame. I didn’t show her those, because they can’t be pointed to as easily . . .  and because I don’t point them out very often at all.

Most of my broken places remain hidden. I tend to cover them up and instead put on my whole, cleaned-up self for the world to see.

But what if I stopped trying so hard to hide my brokenness? What if we all did?

What if we wore our scars not as marks of decreased value, but as evidence of how wholly and perfectly we’re loved by the Creator of the Universe, who sent His one and only Son to die for us in all our messiness and ugliness and brokenness?

Today, there’s a good chance we’ll come into contact with someone who secretly believes they’re too broken to be loved. Let us not perpetuate this lie by hiding our own scars, because perhaps this is where the healing love of Jesus shows most clearly to those who so desperately long to see it.

Sarah is still in the garage — broken, but still serving a purpose. Every time I look at her I’m reminded of God’s perfect, unbroken love.

You can never be too broken to be loved by God. // @courtneyrgager at @incourage: https://www.incourage.me/?p=187184

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Courtney loves to turn ordinary life experiences into humorous and heartwarming stories that serve to share the good news of the Gospel, as well as to strengthen and encourage followers of Jesus. She lives in Southern New Jersey with her husband and two children.
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Comments

  1. Unbroken love for the broken — Courtney, your post puts the gospel on display so beautifully. I’m coming away asking God to help me convey this kind of love to a broken world.

  2. Courtney,
    How beautiful and what a teaching opportunity for both you and your daughter. Your daughter found value and worth in something you were ready to discard, and you were able to teach her about God loving us even when (especially when) we are broken. Yes, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we looked around and, like your daughter, found value in people that the rest of the world has declared “junk”, and what if we dared to be more vulnerable to share our broken places because in doing so, we share where God was able to do what only God can do and we bring glory to Him?! Loved this!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

  3. Courtney, this is a beautiful story reflecting a timeless truth. I love the way you held your daughter while sharing your own broken places. What a gift you have her! We all need to hear it’s ok to have broken places. We all need to know we are loved perfectly even though we are imperfect. Love this post!

  4. Beautifully written. It spoke to my heart when you said “What if we wore our scars not as marks of decreased value, but as evidence of how wholly and perfectly we’re loved by the Creator of the Universe, who sent His one and only Son to die for us in all our messiness and ugliness and brokenness?”. Wow! What an Awesome God we serve!

  5. This brought tears to my eyes. Love how you took the opportunity for this object lesson. What a beautiful word picture. The heart of this article is why I write. For people to know how deeply they are loved, no matter what.

    Through the writing and publishing of my book, I got the message in your words: “What if we wore our scars not as marks of decreased value, but as evidence of how wholly and perfectly we’re loved by the Creator of the Universe”.

    Thank you for sharing your precious story. Live loved.

  7. Courtney, I too have past regrets that threaten to overwhelm me. Thank you so much for reminding me that I am loved in spite of my past mistakes.

  8. Courtney, what a precious gift you gave your daughter planting such profound truth so early. And what a gift she gave us, articulating what we all feel when life breaks either us or someone we love. You totally blessed my heart.

  9. What an amazing gift this is to me. Thank you and Gods words you shared. I too am broken and to His glory on the potters wheel where He makes my brokenness whole. God bless you and your sweet family including Sarah
    Diane

  10. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not the only broken person who’s made so many mistakes and has so many regrets in her life. Yet Jesus still loves me.

  11. Thank you for sharing…This spoke to me “…broken, but still serving a purpose…” A reminder that God loves me even in depression & loss…I am still serving a purpose whilst I breathe…God bless…xxx

  12. Courtney,
    Thank-you for sharing your endearing story this morning,you have given your daughter a true gift.
    Sara reminds me of my broken pots, and Angel with a broken wing. I couldn’t bring myself to discard them so now they serve a new purpose in the garden.

    Have a blessed day all,

    Penny

  13. This is splendid Courtney! Just love how you were inspired to use this as a perfect teaching opportunity for your little one. Such a clear picture of Jesus love for us no matter what. A terrific lesson for your sweet girl that you can remind her of over the years. One that will rivet in her mind because of her love for Sarah.

  14. Dear Courtney Rice Gager

    Unseen Broken Places was a great read.

    I liked your blog post intro because it was so visual and emotional with our daughter clinging to the statue 🙂

    If it wasn’t broke, you could have included a picture in your next blog post.

    Your daughter sounds like a sweet child 🙂

    My favourite sentence from your blog post was “You can never be too broken to be loved.”

    I believe most of us grown ups are experts in hiding our broken spots in avoidance of vulnerability.

    Love your idea about all us laying down the hiding-game and just went with the flow.

    By showing our weaknesses, we can encourage others to feel loved by our Saviour Jesus Christ.

    I’ll give your Unseen Broken Places a share Friday next week!

    Look forward to your next post 🙂

    Respectfully,
    Edna Davidsen

  17. It is humbling and awesome that our brokenness and pain can be used to God’s glory. He works through difficult circumstances all the time to ultimately accomplish good.

    Eccl. 3:1 To everything there is a season,
    A time for every purpose under heaven:

    Thank you for your beautiful post today…

  19. I really, really needed to read this today. Thank you. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I’m a mum of two (beautiful and spiritual) teenaged daughters. We got a puppy last week. Today is my husband’s birthday and all I have done today is cry, feel sick, lose my temper and feel utterly, utterly worthless. I have the most forgiving husband, because I have pretty much ruined his birthday. I love my family, my two kitties and my new puppy. But, boy, do I feel overwhelmed. The other night I sat sobbing until 2am and I was sure I was unworthy of God’s love. I am a very broken person and I am often convinced that God has given up on me. How reassuring it is, to read here today that “You can never be too broken to be loved”.
    Please remember me in your prayers and I thank God for you. Xx

    • God certainly hasn’t given up on you! “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6) You are loved!

  20. This is a beautiful reminder of the many broken pieces each of us have, and the fact that believing with our whole heart that God loves each of us, despite our brokenness is also a reminder of what true love is. Thank you and may God continue to work in all of us.

  22. So important to love the broken people in this world. Some show their brokenness, maybe through a disability or a limp. While others hide it well, but if we really, really listen to their stories the brokenness comes through and we can show Jesus love to them

    By the way, did you glue Sarah back together?

  23. Courtney,

    I wish more adults would have child like faith & love in their hearts. Children are able to love people blindly. They don’t look at race. color, rich or poor. All they see is another human being. This country & the world could use more love like that. There is to much division in this country now & not enough of God’s glorious love going around. Thank you for teaching your daughter that we can be loved even in our brokenness. God sees us through the blood of Jesus. He will love us no matter what. We should go and do likewise to others.

    Blessings 🙂

  24. This brought tears to my eyes. I’m currently going through somethings and I feel as if I’ve had to deal with everything alone because I’m am too broken for anyone to care or love me. Thank you for reminding me that although I’m alone, God still loves me regardless. ❤️