About the Author

Stephanie Bryant is the co-founder of @incourage and a podcaster at the #JesusLedAdventurePodcast. She owns a Marketing & Business Coaching company. She is passionate about guiding you to your promised land and personal brand therapy. She enjoys spending her days with her husband and their miracle daughter, Gabrielle, on #BryantFamilyFarm....

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Stephanie,
    I love how God gave you a gentle nudge (okay or maybe a shove) to look at your attitude. It is so easy to get caught in the trap of the sender, the stay-behinder, the hold-down-the-forter, the everyone gets to go but me person. I realize I often complain way to much about trivial things instead of honoring the purpose that God has designed me for. Sometimes , I wish, I didn’t always have to be the reliable one among family and friends. I want to be the carefree one who flies by the seat of her pants. I, me, my….if Jesus was content in His role, then I need to be content in my role. Each role matters. Great attitude adjuster this am!
    Bev xx

  2. Stephanie, this is brilliant — and perfect for my season of life in which I’m watching the little boys I’ve loved and poured myself into turn into towering men and go off to start new adventures on their own. I absolutely love what this concept of being their “sender” does to my mindset. And I’m grateful for the privilege of being part of their lives — truly a gift from God!

  3. I had to send my husband off to heaven….be thankful yours gets to come back. I have been the complainer too so can relate. Just a gentle reminder

    • So very true and thank you for this loving and gentle reminder. Time together on earth is limited and we do need to be grateful for it. I’m very sorry for your loss and prayer for your peace and comfort during this temporary separation. May your faith and the strength of God and more see you through this loss until you meet up again in heaven with your departed loved ones.

    • Sharon,

      So sorry for your loss sweet sister! Praying for God to send His sweet peace to you body, mind & soul. I pray you feel His loving arms around you.


  4. As someone who has done many short-term missions, I have been equipped and blessed by senders. It is so helpful for me to view my role as the one who “holds down the fort” at home for my pastor husband and 5 kids as one of “sender”. As my kids are growing and two are now young adults who serve others, I am beginning to see the fruit of my work here. It really is a glorious privilege!

    • Kudos to you, Susan, from one pastor’s wife to another (now retired): You’ve chosen joy over jealousy in your role as “sender.” May it help to know that the support, listening ear, encouragement, and prayer you expend for your husband and your church are as vital as the sermon prep, meetings, counseling appointments, visits, paperwork, etc., etc., which keeps your husband away from “the fort!”

  5. Stephanie,
    Thank you for this fresh perspective! It encourages me to evaluate my life from a different mindset- thankful and useful no matter my circumstances.

  6. Stephanie,
    What a great truth in your message and much needed ! I , am disabled and have been since 2005 , I often feel that I’m ” left behind ” on many days !
    You just have me a new and profound way to think and know that I need to be the ” sender ” in my home ! I often have a pity party and think I’m no longer ” needed ” or worthy and this is usually on my eldest days when I feel so bad that my health limits me to do the things I can and want to for my family and loved ones !
    Thank you for sharing and what a great message , I am now , the ” Sender ” at my house and that’s a huge responsibility!
    Thank you again and hope you ladies have an amazing weekend !

  7. Thanks for this great reminder as I far too often complain about my husband’s work schedule…. I’m going to try to remember your encouragement as I send him off to work each day!
    I’m interested in knowing exactly what you meant by these words…

    “I have to forgive God and my spouse for not giving me the life I thought I wanted,”

    I want to believe that because you realized you need to be content about your husband’s schedule and to be an encouraging “sender”, there’s no need to have to forgive God or your husband because of your dashed expectations because they didn’t sin against you…I understand the need to forgiving someone is when they’ve sinned against us and repent and seek forgiveness…I guess this helps me understand that when there are times I believe I need to seek someone’s forgiveness and they tell me there’s nothing to forgive, that I didn’t need to ask for forgiveness because I took something too seriously or misunderstood it or someone…in the same way, God and your husband haven’t sinned against you so there’s no need for you to feel in your heart you need to forgive them…help me if I’m not understanding your thoughts…these are mine and how I understood your words to speak to me! thanks

  8. Okay, go ahead and confess it. You were listening to my conversation with God last night,right?

    I am with you when you have the job of being the sender, the one who helps others become successful, who cheers them on as their dreams are being accomplished. Then I dust off my dreams kept in a shoe box in my heart and wonder if mine will ever see the light of day.

    I need to embrace the gift of being a sender. And also, look for the places where my dreams have been answered in small ways.

    Maybe the big dream hasn’t happened. Maybe it’s just small parts that happen. Pennies in a fountain of hope.

    But for those small tokens I need to give heart felt thanks. And I need to thank him also for making me into the image of Christ – the sender.

    Thank you for this post, Stephanie. It was much needed today.

  9. Oh, how I needed this beautiful reminder today. I actually laughed aloud when I opened my devotional and saw the title, “When You Feel Left Behind.” It was EXACTLY what I (thought I) was praying about last night. Turns out, I think I may have been whining and feeling sorry for myself. Thank you for this small shift that makes radical change. Bless you, Stephanie, for your heart of service to your family and to all of us here at (in)courage.

  10. Fabulous, life-changing perspective! Applies to so many situations in life, including sending off our children as they become adults. Helps me to focus on giving to others and be grateful for the many blessings I have, instead of dwelling on the things I wished were different. Thank-you.

  11. Stephanie,
    Thank-you so much for this. As hard is at may be, speaking from being a sender, and a leaver this also reminds us that we are not in charge of holding loved ones back from what God intended for them. I still remember watching my dad as a little girl shining his army boots, and as much as I dreaded him having to leave I remember my Mom would be there just as your little girl too will remember.
    Have a blessed day all,


  12. As I said to Susan (above), kudos to you, Stephanie, for choosing joy over jealousy in your role as Sender. Although my husband and I are retired, I can still be a Sender who seeks to encourage, support, and celebrate the successes of others. What a difference perspective makes!

  13. Stephanie,

    I used to feel like a left-behinder. For a few years it felt like everyone got to live life & work at jobs. I, on the other hand, was the one who always had to be there for my aging parents. It got to the point I had to quit my job & just be a stay-at-home caregiver for my dad. Now I see that God was “sending me” to be a light to my dad & others at the assisted living. It is now my turn to be a send-er & pray for others-both at work, home & at church.

    Blessings 🙂

  14. Thank you for this. I read when it was first posted a few mornings ago and the concept of being a sender resonated with me. My husband is successful (and we thank God for that) but he can have long, unpredictable hours. Our teenage son is busy with sports, marching band, friends, academics, and now that he is driving we don’t even get the car time we used to. I am a stay at home mom, a writer and volunteer and I admit to sometimes feeling lonely with them gone so much. Seeing myself as a sender these last few days has given me such a shift in perspective. Being there, offering stability and a positive send-off is important. Yesterday the word “receiver” popped in to my head as my son pulled in from soccer practice. I then realized that it is also my job to make our home a positive, peaceful, warm place to come home to as well. God is showing me ways to joyfully send my boys off and to receive them with love when they return. Thanks again.