It started out with a big and dreamy expectation. Going to live in an orphanage in Africa was a dream finally coming to life. I remember being giddy on the airplane and imagining what each of the girls might look like. Upon arrival, I saw twelve of the sweetest faces I’ve ever seen.
In the beginning, loving them was easy. When they wanted me to teach them how to make pancakes, I was overjoyed. When they wanted help with their homework, I beamed. It was the life I had always seen in the picture brochures and I remember thinking everything was perfect.
Weeks passed and I was ready to know more. I was loving widely and now I wanted to love deeply.
But then the girls shut themselves off and built walls to keep me out. At times, I would be knee-deep into a good conversation, only to have them begin questioning me and rejecting any of my further attempts at getting to know them.
Frustrated, I began digging in Scripture. I found a guide to loving the girls in the most unexpected of places — the story of an unfaithful wife.
In the book of Hosea, the Lord calls His servant to marry an unfaithful woman and stay loyal to her as a way for Him to show Israel her sin. Obedient to the command he had received, Hosea took Gomer to be his wife. I suppose at this point, Hosea might have had dreamy expectations. Perhaps he thought that because the marriage was God ordained, it would flourish and somehow, this unfaithful woman would miraculously become pure again and everything would be just like he saw in the picture brochures.
To his dismay, Hosea’s wife was still as deceitful as she was before she married him. Frustrated, he took her back with a plan to start over again. She ran again. He took her back again.
I imagine it kept getting harder. I imagine Hosea became outraged and confused as to why the Lord kept commanding him to take back and to love this adulterer. I imagine it took every fiber of humility in him to muster up the mercy to show her.
I think about the girls and how, in the beginning, if they would turn against me or run away from me, I wanted so badly to give them the benefit of the doubt. When they returned, I was quick to forgive, relieved they had come back to me. As the offenses grew in number, I became less patient with them and my ability to show them mercy began to dwindle.
Why should I forgive you and take you back and keep giving you all of my love when I know that you are just going to run away from me again next week?
Having this thought begs us to dig into humility.
Maybe it’s that red sports car that always cuts you off when you’re trying to take your exit. Maybe it’s the woman across the hall who always asks for your pens and never returns them. Maybe it’s that friend who is really good at making promises, but not keeping them. Maybe, deep within you, you’re looking for mercy in the midst of your irritation, because you know that you, the Israelite, are good at running too.
My people are hell-bent on leaving me… But how can I give up on you, Ephraim? How can I turn you loose, Israel?… I can’t bear to even think such thoughts. My insides churn in protest. So I’m not going to act on my anger… Because I am God… and I’m here. (see Hosea 11, emphasis mine)
The very mention that He is God is enough to show His people that He doesn’t just try to find some scraps of grace to give them, He desires mercy. (Hosea 6:6)
It is only after looking into the eyes of the runners, seeing our own reflection, and remembering the mercy that has been showered on us, that we can begin to search our hearts for grace.
It is only then that we can, in the midst of our frustration, become people of mercy.
by Lauren McLemore
Lauren McLemore
Lauren, this is the most practical application of Hosea’s sad and confusing story that I have ever read. Loving always comes with risks, but loving the one who has made a point of being unlovable over and over again . . .
We need God for that.
You are so right, Michele. It’s such a challenge. How wonderful to have a Father who makes the seemingly impossible possible! Thanks for reading!
Amen..and we we need Him moment by moment. It’s hard.
Lauren,
Humility….perhaps that’s why it’s mentioned over 160 times in the Bible. I know it is easy for me to get up on my high horse or get angry or frustrated or disappointed when someone (particularly a family member) keeps rebuffing my attempts at having a relationship. It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved and often acts unlovable in terms of their behavior. Your post has really challenged me to dig deeper, to look at God’s mercy upon me (also a runner), and to keep on extending love. So thankful we have a God who doesn’t get frustrated, or disappointed. He keeps pursuing us with His love no matter how far or how fast we run. I really needed this reminder this morning….thank you and God bless you. Wonderful post.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Hi Bev! Thank you so much for your kind words. God bless you as well!
Lauren,
I often thought of Hosea as being like Israel. God takes Israel in and loves on them. They turn & run away to other Gods. He takes them back each & every time. I never thought about it in terms of my life. How often have I turned from God. Ignored him for a day or two, did life on my own, etc. Yet every time I come back He is there ready to take me back. I pray that we can become people of mercy & start loving each other. Tired of all this unrest & hated. This country-nah the world needs more mercy & love.
Blessings 🙂
Amen to that! Let us be the change in this chaotic world. Thanks for reading!
Lauren, I am interested in knowing how you mission trip worked out living in that orphanage. Have you written a book about your experiences?
Hi DKS! I actually have not written a book, but I do have a blog that I updated regularly while on the field. You can find more stories about my time abroad at laurenmclemore.theworldrace.org 🙂
Hosea’s story softened me to yield to God in college. Since then it’s been a favorite, but it’s not an often preached story. Thank you for your post, Lauren. I love how you word it that God doesn’t look for scraps of grace to give us, He desires to show us mercy. Praise God for that!
Hi Pearl! The story is a favorite of mine as well. It’s such a beautiful depiction of His unconditional love. Thanks for reading!
Such an incredible article. Thank you for the constant transparency overflowing with humility. Thank you for always being a reminder of God’s grace and mercy. Pointing people back to scripture and ultimately back to our Savior.
So kind. Thanks, Trev!!
Miss Lauren,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can relate heavily to both sides of the story… On one hand I know what it is like to feel as though you are the only constantly reaching out trying to help/fix/love the other person. It is hard. Relationships are hard. But, so worth it. Learning to set boundaries (and practice and purpose to keep them) has been life changing. On the other hand I was very good at building walls juuust so, to where I could still see other people but, also staying nice and safe behind my little wall… Thank God that He put a Mama in my life who would not stop (and still hasn’t) taking down my wall brick by brick. I simply do not deserve her and the family God has blessed me with. On behalf of all those girls, who maybe can’t see it now but will, thank you. What a blessing from God to have someone who cares for us so deeply. May you, your family and all of those at the orphanage have a blessed day.
This side of Heaven,
Summer Rae
Hey Summer Rae! These seemingly one-sided relationships can often be draining and feel unfair and I’m so glad you brought up the idea of boundaries – so important! As long as we continue to live a life of purpose within these relationships, we are bringing Kindgom here and loving the way the Lord intended!! Thanks for your kind words!
Lots of frustrations as we dig out of this Harvey mess here in Houston – aptly times devotion- thank you!!
Thank you for reading!!