Ah, that sweet spot of life. The kids were finally grown and living their own lives – in their own homes. Deep contented inhales, satisfied unhurried exhales. No shocking ups . . . no upsetting downs . . . a flat stretch of peaceful contentment. Life was comfortable, predictable, and familiar.
There was just one bump in sight – one threat to my sweet spot. Many years before, I promised my husband we would move when the youngest child finished high school – but I didn’t mean it. I hoped his desires would change or fade, but they didn’t.
I didn’t want to move to a new town. I resisted the move. I clutched, dragged my feet, and pretended it was not happening.
But it did happen – a new house, a new town, a new life. I hated it.
In protest, I isolated and threw pity parties. I was a solitary sitter on a couch intended for three; the two empty cushions bearing testimony to my refusal to adjust. I mourned the loss of my sweet spot and resented the barrenness of this new life. My new house echoed with no sound of life except the mantle clock keeping time.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
Meow.
My only company – a stray cat who showed up on move-in day. We were two displaced individuals trying to figure out our next move – doubtful that this place could ever feel like home.
I talked and talked and talked with God about my unhappiness.
He listened and listened and listened.
It was hard for Him to get a word in.
The empty darkness of my unhappy heart seeped into the depths of my soul until I was spent. And for the first time, I stopped talking.
In the silence, God spoke. It took me by surprise. I had grown accustomed to hearing my own voice, tiresome and monotonous. He spoke truth with kindness into my darkness.
Daughter, you have stood, rooted to the spot, gaping at this move like a tragedy – a devastation with smoke and steam rising from the site. Turn away from that lie and walk toward the truth. This move is new wine, fresh wine. Release your old wineskin and receive a fresh one. Walk into today with fresh eyes and a fresh heart, ready to meet Me in fresh ways in this new spot. Embrace the overflowing abundance and contentment that I have prepared for you here.
It was an invitation I could not resist. I visualized myself turning from the smoking devastation. I felt its heat behind me and took a tentative step toward accepting change.
I considered my couch with new eyes. No longer a cold monument to my discontent, its arms appeared open and warm, eager for new friends and opportunities.
I asked for forgiveness for the wasted weeks of self-pity, and thanked God for the times ahead.
That was eleven years ago. Since then God has filled my days with fresh blessings and fresh growth.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
No longer haunting and mocking, the mantle clock keeps time in this new sweet spot, reminding me to speak less in prayer and listen more.
Leave a Comment
Barbara says
Beautiful, I really needed to read this*
Cindy Jolly says
Thank you, Barbara.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Cindy,
I can definitely relate to having to move against my will or desire…and this was not moving to places people would flock to….they were basically near manufacturing plants in the boonies for tax advantages.
Like you, I learned that I could sit in my own stew, be angry, resentful, depressed, all of the above, or I could call on God to give me the strength to go to new places, reach out a hand to new people, and introduce myself. After several major moves, I realized the world wasn’t going to come to my door, but God did, in fact, have friends out there for me and so it was sort of like a “treasure hunt” for me to go out there and find them. Sure, I felt some rejection (it’s part of the process), but how sweet the reward when you find just one person you can call friend. Lovely, inspiring post.
Blessings,
Bev xx
ps. Amen to speaking less and listening more with God and everyone!
Cindy Jolly says
I love your visual of a treasure hunt.
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
Such a lovely post. I so often to forget to just listen during my prayer time and hate change. Your post definitely resonated with me. Thank you.
Cindy Jolly says
Even though I wrote about it, I forget to listen, too. It’s definitely harder to listen than to talk.
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
Marymargaret says
This reminds me to listen more in prayer
Cindy Jolly says
Me, too!
Pearl Allard says
Cindy, this is good advice for any stage of life! Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Cindy Jolly says
That’s the truth! I wonder when I will REALLY talk less and listen more on a daily basis.
Michele Morin says
Encouraged this morning, Cindy, by this thoughtful meditation to spend more time airing my grievances to the God who “listens and listens and listens.”
Blessings to you!
Cindy Jolly says
He’s so good!!!
Tammy says
I have been there! Thank you for sharing. I too isolated myself and grew bitter in my heart always looking back. But my healing came as I got out of the house, went to church and got involved in a women’s Bible study. Thankfully, God was patient with me too as He nudged me to do new things and trust in His providence and provision.
Edith says
Love this! As he nudged me to do new things and trust in his providence and provision. This has been my experience too. I used to complain about how I disliked this new path and then added: but I trust you. He was faithful to turn my sighs into joy, despite my grumbling. What a patient Father!
Cindy Jolly says
Thank you for sharing practical ways to live this out.
Debra says
Thank you Cindy for your thought-providing post – I will definitely “walk into today with fresh eyes, a fresh heart [and an openness] to meet [Heavenly Father] in fresh ways” – ways that propel me to move through and beyond the “pity party” – no time like the present – “tick tock – tick tock – tick tock” – blessings all xo
Cindy Jolly says
How true – there really is no time like the present.
Amy Sauceda Gallegos says
Thank you, what a beautiful reminder. I am graduating high school and I know my life will completely change and I am not ready for it. I actually without yet graduating wish I could go back to my freshman year, so I can remain at home, in my safe spot. It is very overwhelming to think about it, but I know God doesn’t want me to stay in the same place forever, and actually go out and be the first to graduate from a university. It feels that in 6 months I will have to know where I want to go, what I want to study, and I have never felt more undecided than right now to get that together. Also like I said, I really do not want to leave home, but God has new things to come!
Cindy Jolly says
I remember those same feelings. When you get to be my age you’ll look back and think, “I wouldn’t have believed it! Thank you, God!”
Lara says
Wow! What a wonderful post, Cindy! I needed to hear it. I can easily dig my feet in, put my hands on my hips and tell God what He needs to do, but I’m so thankful He speaks to my heart, telling me He sees the big picture. 🙂 What an amazing, compassionate, awesome God we serve! YAY!
Have a great weekend! Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow! <
Lara
Cindy Jolly says
Thanks, Lara. Have a good weekend, too.
Ellen says
This is a beautiful, thought provoking post. After retirement, I too enjoyed pit parties, dwelling on the identity and work I had lost and how changes that were supposed to be made never occurred. I didn’t want to listen to what God was telling me but He kept nudging me to listen and when I finally did, He told me what I needed to know to move on.
Cindy Jolly says
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Sarah says
After being born and raised in sunny Southern California and raising our 3 children in what I felt was our dream home in our dream neighborhood, my husband lost his job and we were forced to make a cross country move for a new job opportunity. It has been such a difficult move for me, and I feel like I’ve dug in my heels because I don’t want to accept it and try to find a new community in this (cold) place I didn’t want to move in the first place. It’s been such a trying time and I so relate to how you were feeling. This really spoke to me. God is growing me in new ways that I didn’t feel I was ready for. I will stop my whining and listen to Him and open my heart to more.
Cindy Jolly says
I understand . . . truly. Thanks for your insights.
Kathleen says
Hi Girls,
i just wanted to share how much this blog means to me. Each day as I read the message and then all the comments, I feel like I have connected to dear friends. I live by myself and over the past few years have had to learn to deal with a disability that has basically limited me to getting out and doing like I used to. I have become isolated because of this health issue. I make it to work each day which in itself is a hostile environment and come home. Many friends have moved on because I haven’t been able to do a lot of things we used to do like shop, eat out, movies, etc. it was through this blog that I met Bev and what an amazing woman of God she is. We have emailed and shared many of life’s issues with each other in prayer.
I read each comment and pray everyone. I just wanted to take a moment to say “thank you” for sharing and for enriching my life. May God bless ache one of you. Blessings, Kathleen
Debra says
And, thank you dear Kathleen for the gift of your presence on this blog – blessings xo
Little Mary says
I echo Debra in saying “thank you for taking the time to read the comments and pray for the commenters”!!! It’s worth way more than you imagine!!! You are so loved by Him (and us 🙂 )!!
Joey Rudder says
Hello, Kathleen. I’m so glad you found this blog (me too! I just found it recently). God sure knows what we need, doesn’t He? There are so many amazing, godly women here…I’m encouraged every day. May God bless you and give you an extra big hug today. 😉
Beth Williams says
Kathleen,
Thank you for your prayers. Bev is a wonderful woman of God. We have become friends also. I praise God for this blog & for helping you find good friends. Prayers for your wok environment. May God change the hearts of your co-workers.
(((((hugs)))))
Cindy Jolly says
Thank you sweet, sweet Kathleen!
Joey Rudder says
What a beautiful post, Cindy. Thank you for sharing your story, how God lovingly spoke to you. How wonderful our Father is! God bless you.
Cindy Jolly says
Thank you, and God bless you, too.
Rebecca Jones says
Quiet and still, the silence of faith is the way to hear the whispers of His love.
Cindy Jolly says
So true . . .
Addie says
I needed this reminder today. I’m in my mid twenties, and I’ve moved 15 times in the past decade! As much as change is a constant, so is the pain along with it – and I’ve found it has accumulated. This time, I have nowhere to hide, and I’ve had to face the Lord I so feared…. and I too discovered that His grace covers all the ugliness, the desperation, the tearful sleepless nights, and He speaks out of a gentle, holy authority and offers comfort along a path of corrections. Blessings to you <3
Cindy Jolly says
15 times! My heart goes out to you. . .
Beth Williams says
Cindy,
Change is never easy to accept. We get accustomed to our surroundings & circumstances. Life feels like a well worn slipper & we don’t want to take it off. Change is inevitable & hard. We can choose to accept it & move on or wallow in self pity. When change/trials happen to me I run to God. I pray & ask for discernment on what to do next. The only constant in the past 4+ years is change. Each day bringing with a sense of uneasiness. Never knowing what to expect. My aging dad moved into an assisted living & had multiple medical & dementia issues. Now my in-laws are sick-FIL has stage III bladder cancer & MIL is dizzy & has a cold. This now is my new normal.
I loved the idea of talking less & listening more in prayer. Have you tried breath prayers? You simply breath & say a word or a sentence. It helps calm you down.
Blessings 🙂
Cindy Jolly says
I, too, have a new normal since I became a caregiver so I understand some of what you are going through. I love the well worn slipper visual – it’s spot on. I love your suggestion of breath prayers, too. Can’t wait to incorporate this practice.
Susie Slater says
Cindy, I love this! I’m going to forward it to my daughter who is struggling with a move she doesn’t like. And one of her main issues is she moved away from her church that she loves. Therefore, she rarely goes to church now at all. I’m praying this and all the wonderful testimonies from the other ladies will help her to get back to her first love. Thanks so much sweet friend!
Cindy Jolly says
I pray so, too!
Rosalie Bellamy says
Thank you! I have learned to love my quiet place where I practice listening to the one who made us all and wants my holiness not my happiness! His Word and my circumstances speak the loudest. I remember when we first got married not one neighbor came over to speak. It was only after someone asked me to do mothers March of Dimes and go ask them for money (yikes) that they started to notice me. That was really out of my comfort zone. I learned that God doesn’t care whether I’m comfortable or not. He just wants my obedience. He always rewards obedience.
Cindy Jolly says
You are the wisest woman I know – and you know I mean that!
Logan Chandler says
Such an encouragement!
Cindy Jolly says
Aw, Logan. Thank you!
Debbie Catley says
Cindy,
Thanks for always making me stop and just think about life! Great news about being published!
Cindy Jolly says
Thanks, Debbie
Patt says
Hi, I read it and filled my heart in special with the words.. this move is new wine, fresh wine.
My family is turning to new life soon ( my opinion was not considered), this is why is so hard..but God always takes all for good.
Cindy Jolly says
You are so right – God takes all for good – even in your new life, sweet Patt.
D. Barrett says
Lovely, Cindy.
Cindy Jolly says
Thanks, Darlene.
Phyllis umstead says
Hey, Cindy,
I remember well that how reluctant you had been at the idea of leaving the town where your two daughters attended school for twelve years. You certainly did adjust, though, to your new surroundings and very soon became a bright light in everything you got into. No wonder everyone loves you so much. I’m thankful that you are my daughter.
Love,
Mom
Cindy Jolly says
Hey, Mom! You are on the internet! I love you and am thankful you are my mom.