“They let me go,” he whispered to me that fateful morning seven years ago. We were a week away from closing on a cobalt-blue colonial, but when my husband lost his job, that piece of real estate slipped through our fingers. In the middle of our very good life, bad arrived unannounced and yanked the rug out from under our feet.
On one income, the cupboards emptied faster than expected. Bills overshadowed paychecks. And in that third-floor apartment, tiny wars erupted as grumbling and tensions rose. Even still, I can look back now and see how we experienced provision where we felt lack: our daughters were given generous financial aid packages, we were still able to do simple staycations, and enduring love overcame our momentary rifts.
Though seven years has passed since then, I still struggle with what true contentment means.
A few weeks ago, I found myself grumbling again. I complained about my hour-long commute. I worried about the mounting college tuition bills. I felt jaded about my husband’s part-time income.
“Shift my heart, God,” I prayed. I needed a change in perspective, to have a right view of my circumstances.
My daughter’s baby eyes came to mind then. Round and perfect. We had come a long way since those days, and despite the bad that had come unexpectedly, we had been able to provide, and we had been provided for. So shouldn’t I be thankful?
That evening as I prepped dinner, my husband asked, “Remember when you promised not to tell me if we were having a girl or a boy?”
I did. I hadn’t been able to contain my excitement when I had found out we were having a girl, so I bought a little jean dress from Baby Gap to share the happy news with my husband.
“I think I cried when I opened that Gap bag,” he whispered.
I was amazed that our memories had overlapped — both of us thinking of our first-born daughter. And in that moment of connecting in our memories, God gently corrected my heart. He reminded me how my husband was working as hard as he could and that without him our beautiful girls wouldn’t exist. He reminded me of the deep bond my husband and I share because we have persevered through difficult times and how much we really do have despite what we don’t have.
I don’t know how long this financial trial will last, but I know I won’t lose hope. God has been providing for us from the cross till now, so no matter how difficult our paths may be, we can hope because of the good that is to come. Eternity will be better than a cobalt-blue colonial.Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
Thank you for bringing the post all the way back around to the glorious provision God has made for us in the cross. It’s the air we breathe, so we take it for granted, even though it allows us to live.
Theresa Esther says
yes!! “My GOD shall supply ALL your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus”!
“In everything give Thanks”.
Michele! Hello, fellow Red Bud! His cross pierced my heart that very, awful day, but I am better for it.
Kathleen K. says
God is so faithful. I pray your financial situation turns soon for you. I know in my walk, it’s the difficult times that I grow the most. I went through a very difficult divorce and wondered how I would raise my toddler on my own as my ex did not pay any child support. Our cupboards went bare at times but then amazingly, someone would show up and fill them up or a card and check would arrive unexpectedly in the mail. I learned so much during those hard days. My son is now newly married and times are not so tight. We serve a great God who never leaves us or forsakes us. Thanks for sharing your story. God bless you.
Oh, Kathleen…those joy-tears and giggles overwhelm me when God’s hand shows up RIGHT ON TIME! Funny how when are children grow, we can count on them once-in-a-while, too right? Thank you for sharing your heart.
God bless you, Sis.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Your post and comment about Eternity being far better than a cobalt blue colonial reminds me of the lyrics to a song popular right now….”All I know is I’m not home yet. This is not where I belong….” Somehow we/I get the misguided notion that life on this planet should be easy and free from hardship. The Bible plainly says that in this world we WILL have trouble, but to take heart Jesus has overcome the world. For me, every hardship builds my dependence upon God and leaves me with a homesickness that won’t be cured until I reach my final home. Praying that God would continue to give you heart adjustments and the financial means to keep walking forward. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Bev! Thanks for these reminders, amiga. Those are the exact words I whisper when facing a difficult moment. If our Risen Savior faced them, so will I, no?
Adjust my heart always Lord, it means the Holy Spirit is working.
Beth Williams says
Your song is Where I Belong by Building 429.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thanks, Beth, for helping give credit where credit is due!! Love this song…
Blessings sweet friend,
Linda Schutte says
Even when we tend to get wound up in our every day and forget, and , we all do, He. never, never forgets us! What a gracious,loving God we serve! What a a wonderful Father and Savior that we have! If not for Him, I shudder to think where we would all be! He gives us so much more than any of us can dream that we think we need! He gives us Himself, and He never forsakes us!
Love you all, see you together when He calls us all to His table!
Jesus is our Balm of Gilead, Linda.
God is faithful – thank you for sharing, strengthening, and encouraging me. Proverbs 12:13-14 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. Our God is sovereign. He goes before us and makes every path straight. I stand in agreement with you that we both stand before an open door. Life happens to all of us. Today I am hopeful. Today I am grateful for the (in)courage community.
Lashay, my heart is glad, Sis.
Sometimes we need to redirect when we meander. All that glitters isn’t gold.
Well put! Blessings!
this is so similar to our situation! We have 2 small children and a tiny apartment. After 7 yrs, the dream of a house is strong and being slowed. Thankfully, there hasn’t been a recent job loss (we’ve had plenty of those), but we found that perfect house and had the opportunity to make it ours. Reality is that we can’t safely afford it. The disappointed is fresh. Last night we chose to celebrate that we can still pay our bills. Praying hard and holding on to the dream. Hardship and provision are clear.
Gwen, I understand every emotion you’ve experienced. I pray Our King place the desire of eternity in your heart. We want beautiful things on earth, and what hurts most is when we’ve worked diligently to make those dreams a reality.
I pray Jehovah-Jireh provide for you and yours today.
My prayers for your house!
We had a house and were raising those babies. Then came cancer for him and heart failure that left me tied to bed most of the time.
Family shattered under such chaos. I always wondered if we had both held strong through the storm would it have been better.
Kids are grown. It’s hard to find/ keep a job with medical mistakes that left long term conditions, which means I fall between the cracks- not wanting to give in, I keep trying. Homeless, I still am. The Lord’s provision has me in a little room at an old friends place. It is cramped, and not particularly my style-they aren’t Christians here, and mom’s boyfriend often sleeps over. I love her anyway and have told her about my concerns. She doesn’t like this “opinion” she calls it, and has asked me to go as soon as I find a place. Still, I must show love as Christ did. Yet He provides.
Sometimes we don’t know when, how or why, but I ask Him to hold me through the storms.
RC, covering you today. The storm passes. “It is finished,” said our Savior.
This was refreshing, thank-you. Despite all things, I believe there is always hope.
Have a blessed day all,
Amen, Penny. : )
Beth Williams says
This world is full of pain, trials & heartache. It is so easy in our fast paced busy day to forget about God & His loving kindnesses. When trials, hardships or simple down feelings come I make a Thankful journal. I list everything from God, Home in Heaven to little things like electricity, pens, paper, etc. Nothing is left out My latest list has 300 items on it. You could also do a failure/setback-success spreadsheet. List a setback then list good thing that came out of that. You’d be surprised how refreshing those can be. It will open your eyes to the greatness of God & show you how blessed you are. I’ve also found out that trials bring me much closer to God & my hubby. Thanks for sharing. Praying God continues to bless you & your family.
Thank you, Beth. It’s so true, writing down blessings is a very physical way to remind oneself of what we do have.
Thank you for praying. Xo
Yes! God is good! Six years ago I went through a divorce from hell. My ex did whatever he could to financially sink me. But, I have never stopped thanking God for His hand of provision that He has on me and my two girls. There were many times I was on my knees and He never failed me.
Our faith may be shaken, but our God is unsinkable! I’m so happy for your resilience.
As always our focus is on a small drop of lack amid a sea of blessings. I still have that unanswered lingering need but this year has brought not only provision but abundance in other areas. I pray I can focus on the abundance and wait patiently and gratefully for that answer.
It’s the little things: the small moments. God is in the small details. Thank you for your words.
Ada Joe says
Thanks for this beautiful reminder Jessica. I have some situations I am dealing with but God’s provisions are overwhelming in the face of lack especially this weekend. I felt like crying before I read this but now I know this is a reminder for me that even where I lay God had made provision for me to lay here tonight and even though I don’t know ♀️ where I will lay tomorrow nor what I will even eat tonight nor what to do about everything that seems to be coming up all at once I am thankful for His provision for today and trust that He will also provide for tomorrow and take care of everything that is making me weary and sorrowful I pray your financial situation and mine improves to God’s glory and that you will get a better home and that I will eventually get a place I can call my own home and a man after God’s heart ❤️ to call my husband and my own heritage to surround my table in God’s timing that he will make all things beautiful for us all…God bless you…xxx
Ada Joe, your words are so heartfelt, lady! He has us. He walks with us. God is able. A big hug, sis. Xoxo-jess
This is so lovely Jessica. Your perspective on the eternal.value of your life circumstances and how you responded shines through. I can truly relate to much of this and am so glad to read your story here. It encouraged me in a mighty way this morning. There’s much to gain eternally and little left for us to fret about this side of heaven when you think about it, right? Thank you.
Erendia, thank you for your palabras, hermana. It’s so true, eternity is written across our hearts. Gracias por su apoyo! Xoxo-jess
Becky Keife says
“Shift my heart, God.” I think that can sum up my part of daily prayer. Yes! We so desperately need His fresh perspective every day! Thank you for sharing how the Lord is meeting you and walking with you in the midst of the hard. So glad to have you words here at (in)courage today! xx
Thank you, Becky! Delighted to be here! Xo
I’ve gone through several job losses and a ministry fallout which took a lot of my income but let me tell you: God provides. I’m not married or have kids but He’s always Always provided for me. He holds your family in the palm of his hand. No circumstance, financial trial or hardship can pluck you out of His hand. Hugs to you Sister. He cares for the widow, the orphan, the single mom, the family, etc. Sometimes through people He uses, sometimes just by Himself. I can tell you God restores and He redeems.
Jess, your words brought tears to my eyes. Thank YOU for this gentle reminder. But God.
He redeems, restores, refines, and revives us. It’s my motto: having a malleable heart!
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you for sharing your story, Jessica, and affirming the security we can experience, no matter what, with God as our refuge. Thank you also for your words of declaration and strength: “I know I won’t lose hope.” May I echo those words each day as my husband and I anticipate his liver transplant a few months from now, and then the road back to health afterward. Praise God for the security we enjoy in him, because we ALWAYS have hope!
Jessica Galán says
Nancy, what a hard moment. May our King inhabit your heart as you walk this hard road. Miraculous healing for your husband. ❤️
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you, Jessica!
I just wanted to say that this was particularly touching to me . My fiance and I have really struggled financially taking care of our 4 boys. When we met he had a child from a previous relationship in which his soon to be wife had an affair and I was going through a divorce from my now ex husband because he had an affair and was a single mom to 3 little boys. We have both had our share of hardships and after 5 years together we feel like we are finally making progress. We have two cars for the first time in our relationship because affording more then one wasn’t possible. We still dream of having our own home and we know that now that we have a car payment it effects some of hard work on improving our credit and we are just under the score we need to get him approved for a VS loan. It’s hard to see others complain about their house when having our own home is such a big dream and it has been the entire time we’ve known one another. We keeping pushing forward even when we get thrown 3 steps backward and I’m grateful God has brought us so far. I know we will have that house someday and in the meantime I just keep looking up and reminding myself of how much we have accomplished because of God providing so lovingly for us. It’s hard to fight that human part of you that wants sometimes even though you know you should be and you are very grateful for what you do have. I know that the day we find our own home and can financially do it we will never forget the struggle that brought us to the blessing.
Jessica Galán says
Kayla! The Lord is bringing blessing and abundance. May you be wise stewards. Covering your dreams! -Jess
Samantha W says
Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. I know it was not easy as your journey is so familiar to ours. The purchase of our home was cancelled exactly one year ago due to lack of finances. I thought I had got over it until I came across the paperwork and all the negative thoughts came flooding back. Until I started to write down the ways in which God has provided for us during our 7 years of marriage and although we are still praying for stability in our finances and a home to call our own God has used this time to show us lessons we would not have learnt any other way. Praying for you and your family ((hugs))
Jessica Galán says
Thank you for your heart and prayers, Samantha. Big hug your way. Christ has us both.