About the Author

Angelina Danae is a writer that obsesses over the Oxford comma, female empowerment, and creative living. When she’s not drinking coffee, snuggling her dog, or recording podcasts with her husband, you can find her in the kitchen, trying to uncover the mysteries of life in a bowl of dough.

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  1. Yes! Yes! Yes!
    Hospitality in theory helps no one. In practice, it’s a life-changing gift.
    Thanks for following through on your resolve–and the year isn’t even half over yet! Imagine what’s ahead!

      • Angelina,
        Thank you for being my “online directionary” and aiding me immensely with the true meaning of hospitality. Although each person can be graciously commended on the offering of themselves and their homes, there is truly no greater gift than that of one’s time. Once it is generously given, and warmly received, it is something that can truly never be restored. One’s time is precious, selective and can only be given once. Then a recipient will say “ how can I ever repay you? “… and we would think and reflect … If only all of us could just pay true hospitality FORWARD. Blessings to all!

  2. I had a friend who was there for me, like that. We spent time being honest, open, and with the love of God on our sides. We needed each other; our time spent renewed and refreshed us, because of the time and care we each gave
    Thank you for a lovely, thought provoking writing. Being able to spend time with a hospitable person got me through difficult times, with more grace than I could have found in solitude.

    • Ahh, I love this. So thankful for friends like that and what they do for our souls.

  3. Angelina, I love this post! I, too, have shunned hospitality because I have thought my home did not look like the cover of Southern Living. Your thoughts have inspired me to ask God for opportunities, fling open my door and offer listening ears and a caring heart!

    Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow! <

    Lara

  4. Sooo good! Yes, hospitality is a state of being. It’s when your heart and mind are clear and open for one who needs you. As you said it doesn’t matter what the environment is, it’s who you are! Be Blessed Angelina and thank you for making it real for us.

  5. I tell people if you want to come over to see me, come anytime. If you are coming to judge my house, you better call first!! 🙂

  6. Thank you for always encouraging me to keep trying. I want to be that ear/shoulder to listen and to lean on …I feel it coming and even if my home is not ready,
    I think I am

    • Gina, I pray that God brings you opportunities to be that shoulder and ear to those in your life who need it most. I so love your willingness to step forward. Be blessed, sister!

  7. All of what you say is true. We are to love others, not impress them. The Martha in me always struggles with this but I am learning to put people first.

  8. Women need to stop asking for permission and/or forgiveness when it comes to being themselves whether in their appearance, their parenting, and per this article how they keep their house. But why, when they do decide to free themself from some socially constructes prescription for these things, does it have to be done at the cost of comparing themself to another women which leaves us to continue to try to live up to this man made competition for everything we do. Why must our housekeeping and hospitality choices be compared to Martha Stewart? She chooses her style and you choose yours. This artcile did not need to mention her or any other woman as it lays on the table the never ending jusgement as to which woman is better and more pleasing to others.

    • If we use men to blame for not finding our value in God. Is that there fault or ours. There is always someone to blame for an excuse to not walk with God and become the kind of person He desires us to be. Beautiful in God. One in God. All seeking a all knowing God.

  9. “So even with our dusty shelves and questionable toilets, we can commit to making our homes a soft place to land.” Yes! Thank you, Angelina. I needed this reminder right now. Not because I’m anywhere CLOSE to sparkly house hospitality, but exactly because I’m not! Yet, hospitality can and needs to happen anyway, and I know that. Lord, help me dare pray for You to bring opportunities…

    • Believing for those opportunities (and bravery to request them) with you, Melissa. ❤️

  10. This is so true. It’s taken me a life time to “get” this. But I noticed this for years in the books and diaries I’d read from the 19th century–people were always visiting. It made me ache to think that this was part of their lives. I wanted this so much. And through the years I’ve noticed how much more I enjoy people stopping by unannounced rather than planning a big shindig (not that I’ve planned that many!). Yet it’s taken me years to connect hospitality to just being myself with people. My natural state of thinking is that people won’t like it if I’m myself–I’ll bore them. I think this is also partially why we quiet, sensitive types get so nervous–we think we need to change to be “okay” for others to be around us, or to “give” to others. But what I’m getting (now that I’m 49!!) is that God made me for a purpose–he needs me to be as I am, but to be ready, poised for him to use, open and prayerful, not closed and scared. I laughed when you said that since you prayed they won’t stop coming!! I’ve thought before that I better not pray for that yet, cause I’m not ready…! Thank you for this post. Blessings.

    • Thank you for sharing, Stephanie. I long for those “good ole days” too. BUT, we can still have that today if we find the courage to fight for it!

  11. Angelina,
    You’ve managed to move beyond, that’s amazing as well as refreshing to read. Thank-you for sharing…
    Have a blessed day all,
    Penny

  12. I saw the title of this post in my inbox and thought Martha Stewart was dead. Glad she is not.

  13. Thanks you for your post Angelina, it is mind provoking and a push in the right direction which I needed today. Thank you

  14. Thank you for this honest look at hospitality. Ever since Jen Schmidt’s book came out I’ve been reading it and discovering new things about what biblical hospitality looks like and how it can be applied to modern, every day life. The fact is, hospitality is not what it was in the American 50’s — we don’t have to have spotless houses and full, three-course meals to serve our guests. Heck! We’re not even always called to practice hospitality just in our homes–sometimes it’s over the phone, over social media, email, in the coffee shop or grocery store, or even on the street corner. Hospitality is so much broader than previously thought, and I’m excited to learn more about it. I’m even hosting a study of Just Open the Door on FaceBook with a dear friend in July!

    • Yes! Isn’t her book so wonderful and insightful? Praying for your study to reach other women who need to hear this message!

  15. Thanks for sharing this! More women need to hear this. I’ve experienced someone saying, “It’s ok. You’re fine. We didn’t come here to see your house”, but then turnaround and tell someone how awful it was. It’s those deceiving messages that hurt or hinder others from their true hospitality. We need caring from authentic people, who truly mean us good.

    Keep sharing these messages!

    • Oh Tonya, I am so sorry to hear that has happened to you. I’m praying that God brings those authentic people into your home and gives you the chance to continue practicing true hospitality.

  16. OMG! I have been ashamed and refused to let anyone in my door because my home is so disorganized – mainly because my life has been so chaotic these past 9 years. I would love friendship and fellowship within my home but I have denied that privilege to myself and others. Because of the chaos we have found ways of keeping others out. We have 4 dogs of which a few are not people friendly.
    My heart hurts that I shut others out of my home. There is much more behind the why that I cannot get into right now.
    I will say that this post has touched my heart and given me much food for thought. I need to eliminate fear of being ashamed.
    Thank you for this post.

    • Good Father, Please hold this daughter in Your strong, gentle hands and give her a full picture of her identity in You. Show her how amazingly beautiful she is; show her the loving heart that beats within her. Then clothe her with Your armor as written in Ephesians 6. Reveal the gifts You have armed her with, and teach her how to use them to soothe, encourage, and light a path for another who needs You. We ask this in the Resurrection Power of Jesus Christ! ~ Amen

      • Thank you so much, Beth, Jeanne, & Angelina. Your prayer brought me to tears. God is so good and I pray He blesses you all for your kindness toward me.
        Donna

    • Donna,

      Jesus help this daughter with the chaos in her life. Show her the beauty that lies within. Help her not to be ashamed of her home. Give her the grace & strength to open her doors to friends. Gently open her eyes to all the gifts & talents you have given her. Love on her & take away the pain she’s feeling for shutting people out. Teach & show her ways to open up to others & have good friendships.

      (((((Hugs)))))

    • Donna, I’m praying for peace in your life right now and for the healing love of God to wash over you and be stronger in you than your fear. Know that your sisters are standing with you as you fight for community in the midst of the chaos.

  17. I don’t have to be the world’s idea of perfect just the Lord’s. I still like things neat.

  18. Angelina,

    I have always said “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here”. I’m not that kind of person. My brand of hospitality is simple food with friends listening to their stories. God much preferred our sitting at His feet soaking up His word than running around worrying about the perfect meal. Woman are bad at judging themselves against others. No one really cares how the house looks we just want to be noticed. We want friendships & caring. Let’s open our hearts & ears to others. Stop worrying abut the state of your home.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Thank you for your encouragement, Beth. Praying blessings over your hospitality!

  19. I have always felt ashamed when someone knocks on the door and my house is not clean. Of course I let them in but inside I am so uncomfortable and end up apologizing for the mess.