The sidewalk around the fancy hotel bends and curves like a ribbon, and I cover every inch of it in search of something. This hotel offers a picturesque view, and I like to take it in while writing or simply walking around the grounds.
But what I’d like to take in are stairs I’ve seen there before, uniquely-designed stairs adorned with decorative tile. I really want to snap a picture of them, but of course, I can’t find them to save my life. I shake my head while talking to myself, Am I losing my everlovin’ mind? I know I saw them last time I was here, right around this part of the hotel.
Once again, I walk up and down the sidewalk that hems in the looking glass pond. I see stairs, but only the plain-ol’, nothin’-special concrete variety.
I want to find that spark of special, but I guess it’s not meant to be. As I sit on a nearby bench, I cross my arms and mutter to myself, After the week I’ve had, that just figures. Sometimes I sound remarkably similar to a moody five-year-old.
Still, it has been one of those weeks when my attempt to create something special on a variety of fronts has ended in disappointment. And I’ll just go ahead and admit this: I want something to show for all the difficulty. I want proof that even my disappointments and falling-down-failings aren’t for nothing.
Oh sure, sometimes I create something for my family, my friends, or my work, and the effort pays off in extraordinary ways. My hands hold glittery proof of something special that makes me grin ear to ear.
But what about those times when what I do or what I create flat out fails and the letdowns load up and pile up like never-ending laundry?
The dinner cooked is discarded.
The words written are declined.
The heart shared is dismissed.
We’re left with sagging shoulders and tired hearts holding all kinds of runaway thoughts — thoughts that say who we are and what we do are a whole lot of nothin’ special.
Words float from the darkness, and you listen to them even though you know you shouldn’t: Maybe I’m nothin’ special. I am desperate for proof this isn’t true.
“[Jesus says] if you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I thirst for you. Open to me, come to me, thirst for me, give me your life — and I will prove to you how important you are to my heart.”
Mother Theresa, quoted in Bread and Wine
You want proof you’re something special? Jesus says you don’t have to formulate or find it. Instead, you just have to enfold yourself in His all-ready approval. Jesus never asked you and me to prove anything. He only asks us to accept His grace and believe in faith that as His grace-receivers, we are absolutely something special. And He abundantly gives us all we need all the time so we can do His good work whether it feels special or not.
I stand up from my bench and descend down those plain-ol’, nothin’-special concrete steps from the hotel grounds to my car. Before I turn toward the front of the hotel, I glance over my shoulder and then see what was there the whole time: decorative tile on the stairs.
I couldn’t find them before because I was staring at them from the wrong perspective.
All the nothin’ special, letdown moments really do hold something good all their own. We just need to keep walking through them in faith. If we stop short, we’ll miss them. But if we keep going, we will one day turn around and see that hidden within them is something beautiful, something special.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kristen,
Your words and the words of Mother Theresa are a balm to my weary soul this am. You said those two words that always seem to go together: “Expectation” and “Disappointment”. So many times I have even subconsciously expected things….my husband to read my mind, my family to ooh and aahh over my efforts, something I do to be met with affirmation and applause. Many times the engine of expectation is followed by the caboose of disappointment. Oh what a gift that we have a God who doesn’t expect anything from us other than we just “be” and make ourselves available. He loves us even when we are doing and accomplishing absolutely nothing. He IS love and that’s just what He does. He also doesn’t get disappointed. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that He does. If we are believers, He’s given us something that conquers disappointment….grace. God always sees us as perfect through the blood of His Son so there is no such thing as disappointment. We assign these human characteristics to a God who simply isn’t human. I love your line “Enfold yourself in God’s all-ready approval.” It’s there….we just need to embrace it. Much needed lovin’ this morning my friend!!
Blessings,
Bev xo
Kristen Strong says
Dear Bev, I love the way you phrase this: “Many times the engine of expectation is followed by the caboose of disappointment.” Amen. May we indeed remember God’s grace conquers all disappointment as we embrace His approval. Love you, girl!
Thea says
Thank you for the encouragement reminder that Christ Jesus is all we need in the end and beginning. On our down days and up days together. If only I could rest in His approval every day, what days that would be.:)
Kristen Strong says
You and me both, dear one.
So grateful to have your words here!
Michele Morin says
I love this image of God’s already-there, chasing-after-me-to-bless-me love!
This is a big party day here in the Morin compound: lots of effort, lots of fun– and plenty of opportunities to fail. I’m grateful for this reminder that God’s measuring stick for his much-loved party planners is full of grace and truth.
Kristen Strong says
Oh, I do pray your party is one where connections are strengthened and love and grace are flung generously. You’re a gift, Michele!
Kim says
This couldn’t be more true!! Thanks for sharing this. Loved it!
Kristen Strong says
Thank YOU for sharing your encouragement here, Kim. xo
Pearl Allard says
Kristen, I love this! Thank you so much for sharing this experience and your beautiful insights. Is the photo from the actual staircase the one used for this post?
Kristen Strong says
You’re so welcome, Pearl. And sadly, no, it’s not. Womp, womp. BUT the stairs in it are very similar to the stairs I referenced in the post!
Paula says
Thank you for this! I’m an approval junkie I think. These words made me feel peaceful. I don’t have to earn God’s approval.
Good way to start my day. And I’m wondering along with Pearl, are those the stairs? Wowser.
Kristen Strong says
Thank you for your kind words here! I need the reminder for my own heart as well, Paula. #approvaljunkiesunite
And like I told Pearl, they aren’t the same stairs, but very similar!
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
I have struggled with this too and definitely listened to many friends who also have and yet the truth remains that we are significant to God because He wonderfully made us!
http://www.kathycheek.com/2018/06/you-are-gifted.html
Kristen Strong says
Yes and amen. xo
Monty says
Sometimes we have to stop seeking for God to reveal what we’ve been looking for to us. Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Kristen Strong says
Stop seeking and wait for the reveal. I love this, Monty. Thanks so much for sharing here!
Penny says
Kristen,
This was a very soothing piece to read, thank-you. We were specially created to be placed on this Earth where God saw fit. My husband gets asked this all the time, “So what does your wife do?” “Well”………..pause. It must be hard to answer because really I don’t have a title, but I hope the answer would be,” What she’s meant to.”
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Kristen Strong says
I love this, Penny. I’m going to be thinking of “what I do” in similar terms!
Brenda says
So, so much of life is about perspective, isn’t it, Kristen? Those disappointing perspectives can be so easy to dwell on and camp there way too long. Thanks for the reminder to look around and find the perspectives that bring life. ♥
Kristen Strong says
Thank YOU for offering truth and encouragement here too, Brenda. Grateful you’re here, and sending love!
Melinda S says
I am so touched my your words this morning. I feel I’ve lived my whole adult life in a huge swirl of disappointment. Words of affirmation are my love language and when you never receive that, you do have a tendency to feel insignificant and unimportant. The quote from Mother Theresa made me weep. I wrote it in my little book of quotes that I keep and it will soothe my aching soul when I feel unappreciated and unloved. I need to rearrange my thoughts and set my mind to do things for an audience of one….the only One who can fill this void and make me feel genuinely loved. Thank you for your gift of words! I am changed today because of them. Big hug
Connie Rowland says
Hi Kristen! Thank you for these encouraging words today. We all feel down sometimes. But I’m so thankful to know that Jesus is there to lift me up, dust me off and send me back out into the world again. Saying a prayer for you. God bless!
Beth Williams says
Kristen,
Psalm 139: 13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; After Jesus made man & woman He said it was “very good.” That should be proof enough of our specialness. We will have failures & let downs. Projects won’t turn out right, things get delayed or declined. The evil one wants us to think less of ourselves. He loves nothing more than to have us depressed or down over an error, problem or situation. All those disappointments, nothing special times help us to lean on Jesus & makes us stronger Christians. He will strengthen us & encourage us to carry on. We need to run to our ever loving God & enfold ourselves into His all-ready approval.
Blessings 🙂