One Thursday afternoon, I headed out to Australia for a ministry trip, flying first to LA and then waiting some five hours during a delay. To bide the time, I chatted it up with my husband, Evan, back in Denver. He was to have accompanied me but surgery on his ankle a month prior made the long flight unwise for him. Reluctantly, I boarded the flight to Melbourne, landing some sixteen hours later to find a few messages from Evan on my phone — Call me, and I’ll give you an update on my leg.
I pulled my two-week sized rollaboard to the side of the arrivals hallway and dialed Evan. He answered, “I’ve had a little problem with my leg. I’m in the ICU.”
What?!
He was fine when I left Denver and when I left LA, but in the 20 or so hours I’d been gone, he’d spiked a raging 103 degree fever and I was a million miles away with ministry on my plate!
My heart hit the linoleum floor of the Melbourne airport and from my soul-crumpled being, I reached out to God. Help came to me from an unexpected source — a verse in Scripture I’d been considering as a possible paradigm-shifting provision on prayer. (That’s a lot of p’s!)
In the intense hours in a garden the night before He went to die on a cross, Jesus prayed, “Take this cup, yet not my will but yours be done” (Luke 22:42 NIV). Two specific prayers: first, Take this cup. Then, Not my will. A duality powerfully displayed in three of the gospel accounts and mentioned in the fourth. Two sides of Jesus. Two sides of us. Two sides of prayer.
This is the Prayer Coin.
When Jesus says, Take this cup, that’s the honest side of the prayer. He reveals His own desire: “This is what I want.”
Then He flips the coin, praying, Not my will — that’s the side of abandon. Abandon is saying to God, “What do you want, God?”
In between the two sides of honest and abandon is the word yet which forms the edge of the coin — a pivot where we tip back and forth between each side, experiencing one side at a time: honest (what I want) — pivot — abandon (what do You want, God?).
Take this cup, yet not my will but Yours be done.
Here. Imagine I’m holding out this Prayer Coin to you. Feel the weight of it as you turn it over and over in your palm. Honest. Abandon. Abandon. Honest.
Now, are you ready to try this Prayer Coin that might just cash in a deeper faith for you?
First, be honest: what are you currently wanting, needing, desiring before God?
- You look around at other women, happy in their Pinterest-y friendships and you wonder what’s wrong with you. Take this cup of feeling excluded, God.
- Maybe you’re concerned about your three-year-old. Is she using enough words? Take this cup of delayed speech, God!
- Your husband isn’t very attentive, and you’re wondering why you married him. Take this cup of a lukewarm marriage, God!
After you’ve poured out what’s really in your heart, try a pivot. Flip the prayer coin to the other side.
Abandon asks, “How far will you go to commit your wants, needs, and desires to what God wants for you and your life?”
- Women around you may be just as lonely as you are. I’ll go first and risk rejection in order to pursue friendship. Not my will, God.
- Your daughter may need testing — expensive testing. I’m willing to sacrifice my coffee money. Not my will, God.
- Your husband may come from a family where affection was scarce. I’ll reach out to him rather than insisting he change for me. Not my will, God.
And then in each need, go back again to honest. Then pivot to abandon. Again and again, learning more about what you really want and what God wants as well.
Prayer is like a coin. One side is honest — the freedom to be ourselves in relationship with God. The other side is abandon — the calling to yield to His desires in our lives. We spend prayer best with the currency of both sides: honest and abandon, pivoting from one to another.
As you do so, you’ll journey deeper in your relationship with God, who uses both sides of prayer to draw us closer to Him, just as He did in a garden long ago with His Son.
Oh, and my husband? He’s good. God gently nudged me to understand that He would use this health crisis in the lives of our adult children, raising them up to care for Evan in my absence. He used it in Evan’s life, assuring my husband of His care. And He used it in my life, empowering me to serve where I had to be since no flight could return me to Evan in mere hours.
The prayer coin has since become a daily practice for me as I pray with honest and abandon, leaning into the intimacy Jesus died to provide.
Yearning to pray with honest abandon? Use Elisa Morgan’s new book, The Prayer Coin, along with the companion journal, to turn your prayer life on edge and access intimacy with God.
The Prayer Coin is available at the following retailers: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christianbook.com, and Discovery House.
Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
I’ve been thinking a lot about prayer lately, particularly about the place where my will intersects with God’s will and the mystery of unanswered prayer. This two-sided view of prayer is SO helpful, and I’m thankful for this heads-up about your book.
Elisa Morgan says
I’m so grateful for this message. God is truly faithful to meet our needs!
Lynn Koukal says
1 John 5:14,15
His Will
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Elisa,
What a truly powerful post!! I want the person who hurt me so deeply to suffer and pay a price (honest) YET….I will trust You, Lord as the supreme judge and leave the outcome in your hands. I release the hurt and the person who hurt me to You. FORGIVENESS (abandon). I am terribly afraid of this upcoming surgery. Will the cancer be gone for good? (honest) YET…..I will trust your good and perfect plan for me. You are God and I am not. Your grace will be sufficient regardless of the outcome. TRUST (abandon). So many times Christ invites me/us to “Cast all our cares upon Him.” What He is calling us to is abandon….letting it go….letting it be God’s will not our own. It sounds so difficult, but I find when I do truly let it go and give it ALL over to God, I abandon my thoughts and I abandon myself unto Him and in doing so, I am truly able to walk in freedom. Thank you, Lord that you are a God we can be honest with. Help me/us to abandon our burdens and ourselves to YOUR sovereign will. Thank you, Elisa, for such a thought provoking post.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Janette says
Well worded…thanks for your insights, Bev
Elisa Morgan says
Yes! A great example of practicing the prayer coin! May God continue to reveal as you pivot between honest and abandon!
Penny says
Bev,
I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling with all of this….. I hope and pray that this feeling of fear will be calmed and for your well being.
Have a blessed day,
Penny
Lynn Koukal says
Harmony with God’s Will, your words live in my heart
Angela says
Thank you for the reminder that we can always be honest with God in prayer, and yet His ways are often still mysterious and hidden… so that we are called to trust His perfect plans rather than our own. The image of the prayer coin will be in my thoughts as I pray daily!
Elisa Morgan says
Oh how we all need such tangible applications of God’s truths. May you “spend” the prayer coin daily!
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
Trust is the pivot for me. I have to choose to hold fast to faith and trust God. It goes back to my life verses Proverbs 3:5-6.
Elisa Morgan says
So good. Honesty develops trust which then spins into abandon.
Jas Wilson says
What an interesting concept explained well by the instrument of s coin. I will use this definitely in my prayers with God. Thank you Elisa for this thought provoking post. I sure do want a deeper relationship with God and I’m appreciative of this tool you have provided to use in my prayers with Him. We are so blessed to have such s loving God that delivers messages such as yours in giving us a deeper glimpse at his magnificent power and teaching us methods to use to aid our understanding of Christ and our relationship with him!
Elisa Morgan says
He is, indeed, faithful! Please bring us along in your learnings as you practice the prayer coin!
Tina Storms says
Good morning, Elisa, and thank you for sharing your story and wisdom. I marvel at how the Holy Spirit quickens our hearts and minds to do what Jesus would do versus what our flesh may be inclined to do in circumstances. It’s not easy some days to yield but Praise to our King that He’s patient with us and provides opportunity after opportunity for us to grow to be more like his Son, our Savior, Jesus! Have a blessed day!
Elisa Morgan says
Thanks Tina – yes, God is so very faithful! And we are so very grateful!
Lynn Koukal says
I have a coin to hold in my hand and will feel as God holds me in His hands
Elisa Morgan says
Perfect! He loves you so!
Lynn Koukal says
I can be so real and honest in just talking to Him, and then turn the coin over
Elisa Morgan says
Yes!
Lynn Koukal says
And pray my requests to Him casting all burdens upon Him
Elisa Morgan says
Exactly!
Lynn Koukal says
There is something powerful in carrying this coin with me now
Elisa Morgan says
And if you want to get the “official” prayer coin, you can do so at dhp.org. It’s a limited edition with the book and journal for a specific time.
Cindy Childers says
Hi Elisa, Can you send the link for the book that also includes getting the actual coin. I was just trying to do a search and can’t find it. So excited about this!!! I want the book and the coin 🙂 God bless you, Cindy xx
Lynn Koukal says
I can touch it, as knowing He is with me always, in me, for me
Elisa Morgan says
True.
Gretchen G says
What a great reminder that God wants and is not afraid of our honesty. Just this morning I was praying about a situation that happened 30 years ago where I ended up hurt and rejected by someone. Yet I had been so sure that this relationship had been part of God’s plan. At the time I was scared and ashamed to admit that I was disappointed in God. How could He have allowed this to happen? I was too scared to admit it to Him and so I isolated myself from Him for a season. As it turns out, God’s plan was the best for me (no surprise there). This post validated that there is freedom in knowing that God wants our honest feelings and wants. Yet we can be secure that because of His mercy and grace and unfailing love He will continue to work His plan for our lives. Lord, I surrender to Your will.
Elisa Morgan says
Jesus prayed an honest request in an honest expression. Hebrews 5:7 assures us that he was heard!
Lynn Koukal says
This simple message is a golden nugget and as intimate as
Elisa Morgan says
A golden nugget of a coin!
Lynn Koukal says
Jesus was with His Father,
Thank You Elise for sharing this coin
Elisa Morgan says
You are so welcome Lynn!
Gail says
Love this! I will definitely use this too. Thank you, Elisa!
Elisa Morgan says
Yay! This is so powerful!
Beth Williams says
Elisa,
I have learned the pivot of prayer through many trials. You pray one thing & then say, but not my will yours God. You even ask why? We may never know the answer this side of Heaven. One thing for sure-His ways are perfect. Sometimes a no means I want to show you a miracle & increase your faith. That happened to me with my aging dad. God healed his severe dementia & he was “semi” normal for a while until God took Him home. Now my faith is increased & when my FIL had cancer surgery I told my hubby that God could heal him-just pray & watch. Sure enough he made it through the surgery. Most people just read a litany of prayer requests & ask for healing or restoration, but don’t stop to think about what God wants in the end. He sees the grand picture. He knows everything. This world wants instant results. Some treat God like a genie in a bottle. Fix this do that & all is well. I will praise you. When bad things happen-the patient dies, someone gets cancer, lose job-they lose their faith. How can God allow suffering like this they ask? We will never know this side of Heaven, but we need to hold the two sided prayer coin & ask for help-yet always allow His will to rule in our lives. Great post!
Blessings 🙂
Elisa Morgan says
Such great examples of the reality of praying both sides of the prayer coin! Thanks for sharing here Beth!
Lynn Koukal says
AMEN AND AMEN
Penny says
Elisa,
This was truly an amazing post. And I’m so glad that all went well with your husband and that your older children were there to care for him.
Over the past few weeks I’ve felt unsettled in a certain circumstance, and I think that your gift of offering of the prayer coin will be a help, thank-you so much.
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Elisa Morgan says
Dear Penny, I join you in praying that God will use the prayer coin in your current circumstance! May he lead you to both sides!
Vicki says
Elisa, thank you for this insightful post. Praise God for His wonderful ways in both caring for your husband and inspiring you to write The Prayer Coin. The visual, concrete imagery of the coin is so helpful to my understanding of this paradox.
In Christ,
Vicki
Elisa Morgan says
I’m so grateful – still! – that my husband has healed! The adventure of the prayer coin has taught me much. And it’s a joy to be able to share it with others, you included!
Becky Keife says
Elisa, it’s such a joy to share the (in)courage table with you today! I sense the Spirit stirring deeply in my own heart through the message of The Prayer Coin. My He take His people deep into the heart of prayer — His heart — as we learn to walk intimately with Him with both honesty and abandon. Thanks so much for sharing with us!
Lynn Koukal says
Becoming spirit conscious, listening to His voice, and obey
Elisa Morgan says
Thanks for sharing, Becky. You are leading many to follow the prayer coin practice by your example. I’m grateful for you today!
Ellen Cole says
I love this! Often it is so helpful to have a visual cue to better understand scripture. I’ve heard and read “Take this cup…but…” hundreds of times, but I’ll never hear or read it again without the Prayer Coin jumping to the forefront of my mind. Thank you!
Elisa Morgan says
I love it that the prayer coin can now “jump”! Truly. isn’t it amazing to have such a tangible concept to contemplate? May God make himself oh-so-present to you today.
linnie dee says
Wow – God answered my heart yet again! I’ve told Him I know He could find someone to buy our house so that “my great desire” to move can be accomplished. I’ve tried to live by “bloom where you’re planted” and acknowledge in my heart that my desires must be His desires. Have I truly surrendered to His will ? The reminder in the “two coins” helped me get on track again with what’s truly important: not my will but His be done!” Thankyou, Lord, for reminding me that (1) of course you could get my house sold but (2) learn from waiting and acknowledge that my desire must be His desire first and foremost
Lynn Koukal says
AMEN thanks be to God who always causes us to trimuph in Christ
Elisa Morgan says
God loves you in both sides of the prayer coin. I pray you continue to experience his provision today and in the days ahead!
Missy says
This post was so timely. I needed it and THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. My 67 yr ld husband had a heart attack less than 3 weeks ago. His “widow maker” artery was 100% blocked! I could have been that widow but God spared his life.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I was a coronary care RN for 10 yrs, so I know how to care for him.
Its when he doesn’t understand his limitations and how close he was to dying, that I have to take this cup and abandon what I want (a healthy man) and realize that Jesus is up to something in both our lives (Not my will, but Yours). Its been a scary few weeks, yet this post reminded me once again, that GOD is always here, always in control, and always I can have hope and live with thanksgiving.
Elisa Morgan says
Oh Missy, yes so hard! I like your comment of “fortunately and unfortunately”. God uses everything, doesn’t he? May God continue to heal your husband and lead you toward himself as well!
Aixa says
Love this post, Elisa. I especially like the visual of the “Honest/Abandon” coins! Beautiful and practical analogy. I was recently reading the book of John and it stood out to me how Jesus was always doing the will of His Father. He made a point to let us know He was here to carry out His Father’s plan, not His own agenda.
Oh, to lay down our agendas for His perfect plan! Help us to do your will, Father. Give us an obedient heart that seeks to do your will over our own. Amen.
Elisa Morgan says
Sweet words, Aixa. Isn’t it stunning to realize that God loves our “honest” as much as he loves our “abandon” and that both these postures help us discover the intimacy he died to provide for us?
Brenda says
What sweet insight. Love that “duality”, and haven’t considered it in quite that way. Thank you, Elisa. Congrats on the book; I look forward to reading it. ♥
Elisa Morgan says
Thanks for your encouragement Brenda! May God bless you deeply as you “spend” the prayer coin!
Jenny K says
Sometimes it’s so hard to come up with the “abandon” side to even get to the right mindset, thank you for your “excluded/go first” coin example, I appreciated that.
Elisa Morgan says
You are so welcome Jenny! We need each other in this life!
Rebecca Jones says
I love this. I was recently thinking about Mizpah coins, wrote a blog an upcoming blog post called Bad Pennies, and there was another blog post about finding pennies, there is a story about angels leaving them. This is a good reminder, Jesus, with His human side, turning to God, just what we have to do to follow His example, and because he knows what it is like to be human, He is easily touched by our prayers.
Elisa Morgan says
Thanks for your words here Rebecca!