About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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Reader Interactions


  1. How appropriate to see your post tonight I was just thinking how I am failing at acting as a good Christian as much as I try there are always always moments to apologise to God for, ask forgiveness for. Now I know I could put this down to sin and being born in sin but it’s not what I mean. I’m really trying to hold my tongue but dealing with children on the cusp of teenage years and their moods I am reactionary. I find myself again asking forgiveness for my reaction, praying for help in my failures. Your post saying failures show we are trying and show we need God! Boy is that true…I do need him because your right without Him we cannot achieve anything! Great post x

    • I hear you, Jas. Sometimes I think parenting brings out the very worst in me – but, again, I have to remind myself that it’s showing me just how much I need Jesus, which is a good thing! Blessings to you.

  2. Mary I LOVE this truth! Spot on and some people who have a gift to explain things should be writing… such as your sweet self! I’m well into my senior years and just learning failing is a great learning curve! Because I’m thankful and grateful to God for being me who He created ( as opposed to not knowing Him and not liking my self and my perfectionism as a child)
    God will help in all my failures as well as my victories! Yes it’s a peaceful understanding now that I can start over and try a new way perhaps at seeing the situation.
    Blessings to all you mamas, Jas keep on keeping on! Jesus is the balm:)

  3. So good, Mary. ♥ And, oh how it applies to parenting, doesn’t it? I feel like God mad me a mom to teach me more than to teach them! 🙂 — I was just texting with my grown son this morning about a perceived failure of his. Trying to help him cast vision on what he hasn’t yet the maturity to see. And, that’s what God does for us, isn’t it? He sees beyond our timeline and knows the benefit of our “failures.” A comfort to know it’s all redeemable, eventually. — Hope your girlie has a great 3rd grade year. 🙂

    • Thank you, Brenda, for your kind words and for sharing your own experience. It’s encouraging to know that God keeps on teaching us through our parenting, even after they’ve left home!

  4. Oh, Mary, you’re such a good mom to your daughters and such a good friend to all of us to remind us of the value of failure. It’s not my natural bent to see failure as a good, necessary, helpful part of the process of life. Success feels so much better. But I know you’re right…and I’m thankful for the reminder today. xx

  5. Oh, I love this, Mary. Failure means we’re trying. And we need God! Thanks for these great reminders today. As someone who has failed many times, at many things, your reflection today is much appreciated. Thank you so much!

  6. Ack!
    I wish someone had whispered this truth to me when I was choosing a college major!
    It’s always a temptation to me to choose the path where I know I can be successful with my eyes closed, but I’m thankful for the gift of God the Holy Spirit who keeps poking and prodding–and using words like yours to remind me that I can land on Him for fuel to carry me through a more challenging and rigorous path.
    We can do this thing!

  7. Do you know about Khan Academy? It’s such a helpful tool. It’s free and might bring some math confidence back to your daughter.