On the day my husband received a stage four cancer diagnosis, a group of our closest friends and family gathered at our house to pray. They all crowded in our bedroom and circled around my husband, our three daughters, and me. On one of the scariest days of my life, I was strengthened by the fervent prayers of those in our community.
We cried out to God together for his healing. I knelt on the carpeted floor and with hot tears spilled my worst fears to God in the presence of my friends and family. That time of corporate prayer was powerful and important for all our hearts.
But after my husband’s death in 2014, I wrestled with God. Hundreds of people across the globe had prayed for months for my husband’s healing, and it hadn’t come.
Why continue to pray when our prayers weren’t answered?
As a new widow, I struggled to know how to pray and how to proceed. My faith was strong, but my heart felt fragile. My prayers escaped as desperate whispers on the darkest nights of grief.
But God was patient with me. If He could handle the bold prayers of Paul, the emotional prayers of David, and the heart cries of Job, then He could handle my doubting, imperfect, raw prayers.
Over time, I was reminded that just because we pray doesn’t mean we get our way. We don’t put in a certain amount of time on the prayer time clock to gain a certain outcome. In fact, the purpose of prayer is not to persuade God to do things our way; it’s to draw close to the Heavenly Father and sit in His presence.
Jesus models this for us when He prayed at the Mount of Olives before His betrayal.
And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed,
saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me.
Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”
Luke 22:41-42 (ESV)
In this honest prayer, Jesus shows us how to express our hearts to God and how to pray with trust for His will to be done. In the verses that follow, an angel appears to Jesus. He is strengthened by the angel even in His deep anguish.
My heart shifted over time as I realized the purpose of prayer is to connect more intimately with the Father and trust His sovereignty. In my grief, He was close to me. He wept with me. He offered comfort when the ache was heavy and the future seemed hopeless. Now I embrace the sweetness of knowing I can surrender the outcome of every single prayer to a capable and all-knowing God.
I still believe God answers prayers. I believe miracle healings are possible, but I pray differently now. I pray boldly that “if God wills” He would heal my friend, my child, and my neighbor. I preach hope to the wife whose husband battles cancer, to the friend who wonders if his marriage will ever be repaired, to the mother who struggles with her rebellious child. I’ve been in the trenches praying with my people, and I’ve seen God answer prayers quickly, slowly, and in the most unexpected ways.
I also pray that God will give courage, grace, and strength to those who are suffering and enduring pain. My prayers are no longer based on fear and disappointment because He has proved Himself faithful time and again.
Three and a half years after my husband’s death, I am grateful. I am not grateful for his death or our suffering, but I am grateful for the ways God has transformed our grief for His glory. I am grateful God did not reveal the outcomes to me all at once but instead guided me step by step, day by day, prayer by prayer, back into His arms.
How can we pray for you?
Here at (in)courage one of our greatest privileges is turning to God together in prayer. Please leave a prayer request in the comments and then pray for the person who commented before you.
Michele Morin says
Dorina, this is such a brave story, and your words cut across the prevailing mentality about prayer, like that prayer operates on a referendum system and if we have enough people “voting” with us, then God has to do things our way. For me, prayer is the deepest mystery of the Christian faith and the intersection of God’s no’s with Jesus’ invitation to “ask whatever you will in my name” is the fault line along which so many battles have been fought in my heart. But if God were just a vending machine, there would be no need for relationship, and this is what our hearts truly need from the living God.
Blessings to you, Dorina!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Michele,
You don’t name a prayer request, but it is my honor to lift you up in prayer for you, your family, and whatever is on your heart at this time. Love your imagery that God is not a vending machine….it’s all about the relationship. I find myself on the same “fault line” as you in many instances where I’ve asked in the name of Jesus and have received “no” as an answer. Other times, I’ve barely breathed a prayer that is immediately answered. Truly a mystery….one day we will know the answer with certainty.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Michele Morin says
Thank you, Bev!
Karen Knowles says
Yes, Bev, I have had the same experience of some prayers being answered so quickly and others seemingly never answered, but I know He does always answer either yes, no or not now. We sometimes get so impatient, but He answers prayers in His own perfect and all-knowing timing. We just need to trust that He knows what is best.
Beth Williams says
Michele,
I enjoy reading your responses here. Praying for you & your family now. Many people believe in the “genie” mentality of God. Pray for something & it will happen your way. You are spot on with the relationship aspect of Jesus. He wants our hearts & minds tuned to Him. Wants to be a great friend. Like you prayer is a mystery to me. Why does He heal some this side of Heaven & take others? We will never know until Heaven. I pray God sends His love, grace, mercy & peace to you now & always!
Blessings 🙂
Michele Morin says
And you as well, Beth. Thank you for your prayers and for your encouraging words.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
I’ve also wondered the same question, especially as I study His miracles and healings in the New Testament. I look forward to getting to Glory one day and all these things being revealed. Until then, we must fix our eyes on the Hope of the gospel as He’s making all things new!
Jana Dinapoli says
Michelle , that is so awesome to hear it explained that way! Thank you for sharing and opening my eyes.
Michele Morin says
It’s truth that I have to come back to over and over again, Jana!
I’m glad that it was helpful to you.
Mary Mccauley says
I have learned this also through the years. Sometimes it is easy to forget that His will may differ from mine and to accept it with gratitude. My prayers for all who struggle with accepting life as it is and not as I want. Thanks. Blessings. Mary
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Mary, it is a challenge but a true joy to accept His will with gratitude. I’m glad you mentioned that!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Michele! I love how you said “prayer is the deepest mystery of the Christian faith.” I wholeheartedly agree. That’s why it was important to me to write this piece. Praying with you!
Karen Knowles says
Michele, so true!
Bev @ Walking Walking Well With God says
Dorina,
This line is SO powerful and SO true: ” In fact, the purpose of prayer is not to persuade God to do things our way; it’s to draw close to the Heavenly Father and sit in His presence.” Thank you for this reminder as I have been on my knees in prayer for several unanswered prayers in my life. God does give strength and grace as we wait on HIS answers in HIS timing. I could use prayers for healing of my back and the chronic pain. I also continue to lift my son up – that God would heal his hurts and give him a sense that he is so loved by God and give him direction for his life. Thank you.
Blessings,
Bev xx
andrea stuart says
Bev, continued prayers of healing. I pray that you find relief. I pray that you feel Gods presence in your life and in your sons. It is indeed hard to wait for HIS timing. And I pray that you can find peace in the wait.
Beth Williams says
Bev,
I continue to pray for you & your family. May He bring healing to your pain. I pray your son & daughter come back God & start a new relationship with Him. You are a special person here at In Courage & to your family & friends. Love reading your responses to others here. Praying for God’s blessings on you & your family!
Blessings 🙂
Michele Morin says
I’m uniquely equipped to pray for you today, Bev, because I overdid it in the garden and injured my back, an occasion that always makes me thankful for the times when my back does NOT hurt.
Lord, please continue to bring healing to Bev’s body, and bless her as she faithfully lifts up her son. Encourage her heart as you grant him direction and purpose, healing of the heart, and a new way of living.
Cheryl says
Bev, I Would love to come right over to give you a hug and get on my knees in healing prayer for you and your son But since I can’t, I will continue at my house.. Lifting you up with strength while you wait.. God LOVES YOU Sweet Child of His and is walking with you every step..I pray He will be so close to you that you feel the breath of His presence while you await His touches of loving healing answers. Psalm 131. May your soul be calmed and quieted..keep HOPE ✝
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Bev, I’m linking arms with you in prayer for your son. I pray God will give you eyes to see His healing! Big hugs!
Leanne Porterfield says
Father, I pray with Dorina for her son… draw him close to You… help him to know that You are still there, always there, with him, for him… all he has to do is ask. Father, be close to him, don’t let Satan have the victory in his life… be with Dorina as she grieves over this burden… comfort her, surround her with Your love, fill her with Your peace and assurance… thank You Father… in Jesus’ name…
Leanne Porterfield says
Father, I pray with Bev for her son… draw him close to You… help him to know that You are still there, always there, with him, for him… all he has to do is ask. Father, be close to him, don’t let Satan have the victory in his life… be with Dorina as she grieves over this burden… comfort her, surround her with Your love, fill her with Your peace and assurance… thank You Father… in Jesus’ name…
Marly says
Dear Bev: About your back pain, you might consider ordering “The Trigger Point Workbook,” by Clare Davies from Amazon. My bet is you’ll also need to order a Theracane, and buy a large, hard rubber ball that you can get in any dollar store. If you have a lot of back pain, there will probably be a lot of muscles you’ll need to treat, but you might well be astounded at how fast you’ll start to feel better, not months, but days or a few weeks. Obviously I can’t make guarantees, but I’ve used Trigger Point Therapy both blown out thumbs, an excruciating hip injury, and some pretty intense low back pain.
I am badly out of practice, so there is only so much I could help you, but you (and anybody else who is dealing with muscle pains) are more than welcome to email me if you have a question. And of course , I’d love to hear how well it works for you. Sometimes God doesn’t use direct miracles, except in people form.
andrea stuart says
Since I am the first to leave a comment I want to pray for Dorina. It was beautifully written. I pray that God keeps blessing you through all turns and twists. I pray that you understand the depths to which you can touch lives around you. Thank you.
I ask for continues prayers. My family is in crisis recovery with many unknowns….yet again. I am weak and exhausted. I am not the one that likes to wallow for long periods of time, but I feel stuck in a rabbit hole of uncertainty. I know that God is leading me somewhere and I am being told that I need to be patient and allow myself to heal. But I am growing weary of the wait. I want to make myself better so that I can move past all of this and help my heal my family as well. I appreciate the prayers!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Andrea,
Crisis, exhaustion, uncertainty, waiting, needing healing…..this are all strong prayer requests unto themselves, but combined, you need an enormous amount of God’s love and grace right now. I pray that He will see fit to answer your prayers and to do so swiftly. In the meantime, I pray and ask for patience, grace, calm, and peace in the waiting. May His arms of comfort draw near and wrap themselves around you so that you can hear His beating heart of love for you.
Prayers for you being lifted,
Bev xx
Linda says
Good morning, Andrea, I lift you and your family up in prayer! Healing for your body and strength to face the turmoil that this life sends . There are times it seems never ending. I pray you will all feel the comfort of our Abba Father and our Sweet Jesus. Feel the wings of the Angels as they hold you and comfort you. I will pray for you and ask others to add you to their list as well. I also will pray for you Bev, for your healing and comfort.
I would like to ask for prayer for healing as I have not regained strength since having back surgery last fall. I continue to have to use a walker most days. It is very discouraging as I can no longer go out and work in the yard or even keep my home clean. However, I know that God is with me, He is always with me and in His time this will pass! I don’t understand it now however, I do trust in Him! Also if you would lift my son Joe up in prayer, he suffers from PTSD and is having a tough time! Blessings to you all and may we fill the love of Christ fill us to over flowing!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
I am praying for you and Joe. I love how you are clinging to Jesus through all of this. God be with you!
Florence Berg says
Bev, I read your comment to Andrea and it is so beautifully worded. And, it’s so true. I am just getting to the point where I am talking with and hearing from the Lord. After being a believer for well over 30 years I finally had an opportunity to take an online course from Mark Virkler on The Four Keys To I took an online course from Mark Virkler, 4 KEYS to HEARING GOD’S VOICE. ( I had his book, HOW TO HEAR GOD’S VOICE by Mark & Patti Virkler years before and am sorry to say that I only got to the 2nd chapter.) Taking it as an Online class and having Mark teaching how to proceed step by step, it made all the difference in the world.) It was 10 classes and was what I needed to commune with Yeshua, called Jesus most commonly in this country, the way I have heard that some others have been able to. The course has ended and there are more courses available but now I am continuing on this journey of meeting with Yeshua, what could be grander?
I am finally learning about the relationship part of my walk with the Lord, it was something I knew about but now I know of.
I am just putting this out there so if someone is stuck and still trying to figure out how to get to the HEARING side of the praying, or sometimes it’s more like just talking with HIM, they can have a course of action to get there.
Marianne says
Heavenly Father, May you continue to comfort and bless Andrea. Let it be known to her her path and giver the strength that only comes from you to follow it.
I ask for prayer for God to also open my eyes, I pray for a desire close to my heart, if that is not your will then what is? Help me to see
Sharon A says
Lord please be with Andrea and her family give them what they need today and every day. I too lost the love of my life we forget sometimes when we pray for healing that sometimes God will give that complete healing of physical death. I am about to enter a new phase of life and want to follow His will and what He wants me to do with it. We thank you for the gift of prayer. In Jesus name. Amen.
Beth Williams says
Andrea,
Praying God sends large amounts of His grace, mercy & peace to you & your family.
Father send Andrea & family discerning hearts to know your will for their lives. Help them in the waiting. Waiting is hard for many. Send strength & courage to deal with all the crisis & pain they are dealing with. Send strength & hope to their weary souls. Your word states : Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Amen!
Blessings 🙂
Rebecca says
Heavenly Father, I pray for Andrea and her family right now. I pray for immense strength, peace, endurance and perseverance. I pray for full healing according to Your will and timing. I pray for the perfected work that you are doing in her life right now. I thank you so much for your immense love and faithfulness for Andrea and for the ways that you will answer these prayers. I pray for wisdom and discernment when the weariness hits. I pray that you would surround Andrea with community to love on her, support her and pray for her diligently during this time. Thank you, Lord. Amen
Andrea – I can personally relate to this sentiment in your comment: “ I know that God is leading me somewhere and I am being told that I need to be patient and allow myself to heal. But I am growing weary of the wait. I want to make myself better so that I can move past all of this“ – mine is a physical and emotional healing time and just yesterday I had to send 2 emails in which I proclaimed that I needed and was choosing to put myself first this season in order to focus on my healing. This is a first for me and it felt quite weird and awkward. I will continue praying for you!!
Much love,
Rebecca
Rebecca says
Andrea, I’m sorry that I didn’t reply directly to your comment but you will see my prayer for you below. Praying for you dear one!!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Andrea,
Thank you for your encouragement and prayers. I’m praying that God meets you in the waiting. Many days I have felt weak anc tired. And these are the days our God shows up in compassion and strength.
Big hugs to you!
Gem says
Thank you Dorinà for your reminder as I continue to pray for my daughter’s health and for my family. That God’s will be done.
Lord I lift up to You Dorinà, Bev Michèle and Andrea. Bless them with Your peace patience and comfort.that they may continue to pray even when their prayers are not answeréd. In Jesus’name amen.
Barbara says
Dear Father, bless Gem and her family. I pray that her daughter’s health may be restored. Give Gem all peace and joy and hope as she waits on You and give her strength and rest in any aspects of her life where she feels weak. Amen
Beth Williams says
Gem,
Lord send healing & a discerning heart to Gem & her family. Help them know your will. Bless her daughter with good health. Shower them with your grace, mercy & strength to deal with all the pain. Help them to wait on you & not grow weary.
Blessings 🙂
Gem says
Thank you for your prayers Beth.God bless you abundantly.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Gem,
Thank you for sharing. I will remember your daughter in prayer! May God buoy all your spirits!
Barbara says
Beautiful piece and so timely, really needed to hear this.
Love this line “My prayers are no longer based on fear and disappointment because He has proved Himself faithful time and again.”
I am in my early twenties and anxiety and depression have been my burden for a while now. This morning in church, the pastor asked for any people suffering from depression to come forward so that people can pray for them. I did, despite the shame and I am glad that I did. I still feel quite emotional from the experience ,since I have been praying for freedom from depression for a long time and I know God heard, but I know it may not be His time to heal me and that fills me with fear. So I just want to ask for prayer, that I may keep trusting and waiting with hope, peace and joy, knowing He is my strength.
Elizabeth says
Barbara –
I will give God praise that he gave you the strength to go forward. May the prayers of your church community strengthen you. Do not feel shame for the burden that you carry. I pray that you will seek the love and support you need. Do not try to fight this battle alone.
Elizabeth
Jas says
Elizabeth lifting you up in prayer and for all my sisters who read and comment here. Lord please walk with each and every one of us and hear our prayers and please respond according to your will. The biggest thing I ask aside from this is that you will be there working closely intertwining your presence in every facet and space in our lives and that we all will grow closer in our individual relationships with you! Amen
Dawn says
Barbara, I applaud you for allowing your church family to know your needs. They will come through, I bet, and continue encouraging you. Depression is real—an illness—sometimes short-term, sometimes lasting longer. If it lasts too long, get some medical assistance. We take medications for other illnesses, after all.
“God, you love Barbara. Show her in a significant way this day. Amen.”
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Barbara, I’m so proud of you for going forward and sharing here so we all can pray for you. Your vulnerability inspires me. Praying over you!
Elizabeth says
Please pray for my family. We are struggling financially and in our relationship. I am hoping that we will find a healthy place so that we can raise our daughter together.
Dawn says
“Lord God, thank you for Elizabeth and her love for her daughter. Give her and her family wisdom about how to increase their cash flow and handle their finances. Bind the enemy from their relationship, and keep them close, God.”
Elizabeth, I recommend Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps and Financial Peace University. There are lots of ideas for making extra dollars on YouTube as well. Blessings!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Elizabeth, I am praying for reconciliation in your family and for God’s clear provision for your finiancial needs. Thank you for sharing today!
Carolyn says
Thank you for such a powerful and encouraging story. Reading this reminded me that prayer is our time to pour out to God but also a time to grow closer to Him throughout whatever we are facing.
This morning I ask for prayer for my parents. My dad is 83 and is struggling with back pain and neuropathy. He’s tried all kinds of creams and meds with little to no relief. My mom is slowing down too and is very discouraged right now. It’s so very hard to see them age, my once active, full of life mom and dad. I ask for prayer for their health, for their love for each other to be rekindled, and for wisdom.
Thank you for this chance to request prayer from my fellow sisters in Christ.
Jana Dinapoli says
Dorian, thank you so much for sharing your story and heart, so sad yet encouraging to ALL as we struggle and pray to God our Father who hears our prayers and thoughts. Trust and faith to follow His lead and guidance is not always easy when the storms of life are constantly pulling us under, but God has showed us a way to trust in Him! Thank you again and may God continue to send Blessings to you and your family!
Andrea, I pray for you and your family who struggling with old age and all the pain that comes with it, that God will touch them with His mighty hand and bring relief from all the pain in his back and your mom from despair.
I lift up all these woman to you God whose family’s are ill, depressed with anxieties, hurting from financial crisis, and continue to be burdened with circumstances beyond our control to fix them. Father God, I pray you bring peace and healing if it be your will and guidance to learn from the experiences, so that we may see through your eyes the love and Hope you have for each one of us!
My prayer request is for my daughter to be healed of her mental health, depression, anxiety, and cutting, and all that plagues her, the enemy has a stronghold on her and the rest of my family. for God to open there eyes to the truth that He is real! My family is not saved.
God bless all!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Jana!
I’m praying for your daughter and all of your family. Keep sharing your own story of transformation. You never know how God will use it to transform them!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Carolyn, I’m praying specifically for your parents in this season of life. May God give them and you strength! Amen.
Carolyn says
Thank you so very much!
Frances says
Caroline, I understand what your dad is going through as I am 81 & have neuropathy from chemo I had for cancer. My doctor gave me “Gabapentin” to take & it has been like a miracle. Praying for you & your family. God bless!
Gem says
Thank you Barbara. God bless u
Beth Williams says
Dorina,
Thank you for a heart felt post. You continually pour your heart out here & help us women see the real you. Prayer is hard. People don’t often know how to approach God in prayer. Like you said we need to surrender our wills to God. This includes the outcome whether good or not. I pray God blesses you & your family with strength, courage, peace & mercy!
Prayers for everyone here. May God send you all strength, courage, peace & mercy. May you feel His comfort to your weary souls.
My prayer is for an elderly neighbor, Jean who recently lost her second son to cancer. She is practically alone in the world. She lost her other son in 2014. Her husband has been dead for years. Her only living sister is in nursing home. Jean has her only granddaughter living with & caring for her. They could both use prayers as Jean has a bit of dementia & granddaughter is in her 20s.
Blessings 🙂
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Beth,
Your encouragement means so much to me. I care deeply about authenticity and that women do not have to walk alone. I’ll be praying for Jean!
Dawn says
I am an empty nester after 30 years of having children at home. I’ve also retired from teaching and am only working part-time. My husband and I have such different personalities and interests, and those seem to be bothering me a lot more now that other things have changed. I’m struggling to know what to do with myself and how to be content. Sounds trivial compared to other prayer requests this morning, but this morning isn’t going well…
Mary Mccauley says
You need to read Cynthia ruchti books song of silence. I know it will encourage your heart. Praying
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Yes! She’s my agent! Such a wonderful writer!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Dawn, Your requests and needs are important to God! I’m praying for you in this season of life. I know God has a a purpose for you and your husband. Praying for creative ways to connect.
Kathleen says
As a first generation believer I have prayed for 30 years for my family to be saved. My dad is almost 84 and does not know the Lord. He does not understand how a loving God allowed my mom to be killed by a drunk driver nor for my husband and I to lose two children in a car accident due to a speeding driver. None of my siblings know Jesus either. I also covet prayer for the healing/restoration of a broken relationship with our daughter. We do not know what happened and she will not tell us. My heart aches to see/hold her and her children…one who I pray will always remember us, one whom we do not know at all and another on the way. My marriage is an empty shell.
Praying for the requests of each of the above posts.
Deborah says
Kathleen,
I pray that God will cover you with His love and lift you up. Praying for your very broken heart. May the Lord bring you peace and strength. Heavenly Father open Kathleen’s heart to your powerful love and healing. Lead her husband to your arms and heal this marriage.
Don’t ever give up hope. Each day Thank Jesus for all that he has done and the good he will do.
We will never understand the bad that happens in our life…. that’s why we give it to God.
Bless you
Deborah
Rebecca says
I need prayer for continued healing from surgery – healing for heart, thyroid, pituitary gland and hormones to normalize. I need prayer for wisdom/discernment in how to best care for my body physically and emotionally and prayers for grace, patience, trust and peace. Thank you, Rebecca
Lara says
OOPS! Hi Rebecca! I prayed for you below but did not post it here first. Prayers for healing for your body, mind and soul since your surgery. I also.pray for God’s peace that passes all understanding for you as you go through this journey! <
Penny says
Sorry Rebecca please see my reply below….Penny
Jen says
Rebecca, try the autoimmune protocol diet. I tried it for my thyroid condition and it’s now almost fully in remission just from changing my diet.
Selina says
Hi Rebecca:)
That must be difficult. I have prayed for you and believe God is with you. He loves you so much beautiful one.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Dear Jesus,
Please be with Rebdcca today. If it be your will, please heal her body. And if not, please give her courage, peace, strength and discernment in the meantime.
Lara says
Oh, Dorina, what a powerful post!! Continued prayers for you as you heal each day.
Heavenly Father, I pray for healing for Rebecca ‘ s body since her surgery. Give her strength when she is weary and guide her to take the best care of her body, mind and soul.
Please pray for my sister who has diligently been looking for employment for the past year since she was laid off. Pray that she would experience God’s peace during this tumultuous time and that The Lord would lead her to the right position.
Thanks so much, ladies! Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow! <
Joy in Jesus,
Lara
Penny says
Lara,
Prayers for your sister that all will be well as she waits.
Have a blessed day,
Penny
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Lara, I’m grateful for you and your prayers! Emmanuel. God with us.
Deborah says
Thank you for reminding me about prayer. Keeping me close to my Creator. He will answer my prayer on His time with a yes, no or just wait.
I had prayed so hard for my marriage… the answer was no. So, I pray for my heart that has envy( over the much younger wife that he was cheating with and is now married to) jealousy and anger. Take away the bitterness… life is too precious and short.
Most of all I pray the ex will come to know the Lord. We have a 13 year old son who needs a Godly man in his life.
Thank you for this gift of prayer
Penny says
Deborah,
I pray that your heart will heal from this deep wound, and that your ex husband will have a change of heart opening up to the Lord.
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Deborah says
Thank you Penny
And Bless you
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Deborah,
I’m so sorry that you have to walk this hard journey. I pray God would give you grace, strength, peace and kindness even when it does not feel easy. You have His supernatural power in you that can overcome jealousy, envy and bitterness. I have to remind myself of this when those things creep up in me. Big hugs, Sister!
Penny says
Rebecca,as you recover, I pray for your recovery and that the wellness of your mind, body and spirit will be restored.
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Selina says
I have also lost my husband to cancer in June this year. I had been praying for healing and believed that God would do it but in the last month I felt led to pray for freedom from fear instead. His and mine. I have struggled with blaming myself for not praying enough and not spending enough quality time with him before he passed away. It was quite sudden and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
However, my trust in God is still there and I believe it was his will to take Steve home but it is hard and I would love prayer for myself and my four children to get through this. I really need some guidance as to what path to take for our future.
Thank for such an encouraging post:)
Rebecca says
Selina,
I’m so sorry for your loss but the Lord is with all of you – He sees you hurting and He is a God of compassion, mercy and love.
Lord Jesus, I pray that your presence would be so evident to Selina and her family – that they would know that You grieve with them . I pray for immense comfort and strength in this struggle as they wrestle with anger, doubt, grief, regrets. Whatever it is that they are wrestling with that they would trust You and lean into You. I pray for peace and comfort in their home and for supportive, healthy, biblical community to surround and support them and continually lift them up in prayer. Thank you, Lord for the life of Steve, the marriage of these two and the family that was born of them. May you bless them and keep them protected during this time. Amen
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Selina,
My heart is with you on this journey. Give yourself and your children permission and space to grieve now. I have written a lot about my family’s journey on my blog at http://www.DorinaGilmore.com. Every grief journey is unique but I hope these stories will encourage you. I am so glad your eyes are on Jesus. As it says in Isaiah, He is our Maker and our Husband!
Barbara simons says
So healing of you to share your struggle with prayer with all of us. I too said the same things in the loss of my sons, along with Why??
I know now, that prayer changes ME & gives me courage strengthening us to align our will with our sovereign God who knows best! Prayer then summons ministering angels w/ the Holy Spirit to comfort us!
We can then have the mind of Christ in our circumstance and trust His heart for the outcome.
No suffering for a believer will be wasted in His providential will on earth or into eternity..
Loe & hugs to you Dorina!
Barbara.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Barbara, you continue to encourage me, my friend. It’s good to know I am not alone in my struggles and questions. Praying over your heart too as we chase His glory together!
Cindy says
Please pray for me. It is hard to articulate what I need… hope, help, encouragement.
I lost my husband to cancer 2 1/2 years ago, and I have clung to God despite the same doubts you expressed Dorina. I have seen my married friends drift further from me even as I tried to continue those friendships despite working 60 hour weeks to support myself and adult disabled children who live with me. I need help with basic things like upkeep of my yard and property, and swallowed my pride to ask people in my church and friends. These same church people quote to me how God takes care of widows and orphans, but rarely will someone show-up to actually help me do things I can’t do myself. I try to hire people to do them, but they are either too expensive or unreliable. I work almost constantly to try and keep up, and I go to church and pray those desperate prayers uttered in the wee lonely hours of the night, but I am never enough.
I feel so lost… so alone… so scared. I am so tired of trying to be self-sufficient (which is what people around me communicate to me I should be), and I am equally tired of humbling myself to ask for help only to have no one respond. What is wrong with me? Please pray.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Cindy, I am so sorry for this deep loss you have experienced too. It’s a club none of us want membership too. Thank you for reaching out with your story. I wish you lived closer to me in California. I will be praying for God provision in surprising ways for you and your family. He Kong’s to comfort you even in this!
Kim says
For my nearly 24 marriage that is failing. My husband’s affection has gone to his “friend”, a woman who used to be friends with both of us, along with her husband. He now sleeps in another room and wants nothing to do with me. We have three children and I feel broken. He wants a divorce, but stays in our home “so the kids can stay in their home.” He comes and goes as he pleases with zero communication with me or our kids. He is with his “friend” daily, as people from work and our community come and tell me all the time that they see them together. I don’t want a divorce, I pray for healing in my marriage and that his “friend” would get away from my husband and cling to her own husband (who is in denial that anything is going on. I have spoken to him.) Please pray for my husband, that he finds Jesus. He knew him once, but has turned his back on Him. Pray for me for peace and for the Lord to guide me, for The Lord’s will to be done in our lives. Pray for our children, as they have been harmed by all of this.
Deborah says
Kim,
How your heart must so broken and betrayed just like Jesus.
He knows your pain. Cry out to him for help.
Praying for your husband to have a change of heart. May God peel away the scales blinding his eyes.
Praying for you to know God loves you and he’s by your side. Trust him even thru these dark days
❤️
Deborah
Karen Knowles says
Dorina, thank you so much for sharing your story with us! I believe it was something we all needed to hear.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Kim, my heart aches that you would have to walk through this. I will be praying for you, your children and your husband. I pray that you would continue to remain steadfast and courageous in this situation. God can use your life for His glory!
Deeb says
Thank you if you would pray for my daughter to trust the Lord even more strongly and be healed of her bitterness and angst upon losing 2 preborns . Her personal relationship with God has suffered badl and I can see it spilling out into other areas
Also pray that her husband will cooperate fully with God in order to be free of his addictions and self-centered ness, and lack of devotion and love towards God, his wife, and others. And my son and wife, to return to God and live for Him with all their hearts , raising their kids like that. Thank you so much.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Deeb,
Thank you for sharing here about your children and spouses. I’m sure your mama heart aches for these things. Praying for strength for you, discernment and healing for them! He is faithful!
Deeb says
Thank you so much, Dorina! Your writing this has meant so much to me, and your prayers even more!
Deeb
Penny says
Expand our hearts to receive the mercy you give us, that in turn, we may share your grace and mercy with others each moment of our lives.
Scripture Prayer
Dorian thank-you for opening up and so generously sharing your story with us….bless you…….
To all who have so bravely shared thank-you. During your times of sorrow, hardship, and heartache I pray that you will all receive God’s mercy and His grace.
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Amen, Penny. That reminds me of 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4 That says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
http://bible.com/111/2co.1.3-4.niv
Sharon says
Deeb I am praying for you and your family to be drawn deep into relationship with our loving Lord. And I am praying especially for comfort and hope for your daughter as I know the intense grief of pregnancy loss. I am praying that she feels God so close to her in this time, and that He will give her a precious little one soon.
My prayer request is that doctors would find the answer to why my left leg is paralyzed, and that God will grant healing and protection. My husband is deployed and I have four kids so please also pray for strength and joy in the midst. I also want to ask for healing for my friend who has cancer – what she is going through is so heavy on my heart, and I want the Lord to keep her here with her young sons.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
I am so blessed you found your way here today, Sharon! I’m continuing to pray for your leg and your dear friend with cancer. May God’s presence be palpable to you in these trials.
CAROL GONZALEZ says
“Our Father-thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven”
My prayer for myself is to continue to trust in Him and that all those who pray get a clear answer to their prayer even if it is not the one they want.
In May I was having unusual pain in my right leg and got to a point where I was very low emotionally over it. I could walk but it was very difficult when I got up from a seated position. I am grateful that I put my faith in God and that with time I am so much better!
For the author I am sorry your husband died of cancer and I pray that as time goes on your grief lessens and life becomes a bit easier.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Carol, thank you for your kinds words. God has already redeemed so much of my story in these three years. He has gifted much joy in the midst of the grief. I am praying for this pain in your right leg. May God be your strength when you feel weak.
Leslie says
I ask for prayer for my 83 year old mother. Her hands and feet are numb and swollen. So far no medicine has given her any relief nor do the doctors know what is causing the problem. Please for for relief for her and wisdom for her healthcare team. Thank you.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Leslie,
It’s so hard to watch the ones we love suffer. I pray for healing for your mother and strength to endure the pain in the meantime. Big hugs to you both!
Tania says
My husband lost his job several weeks ago and we were already struggling financially as I only work part time and get even less hours in the summers. He has an interview tomorrow and I am just praying that if this position is in God’s plan that it goes well and we can get on the road to being better off financially.
This was exactly the article I needed to read tonight when I need to trust in God to provide.
Dorina Gilmore-Young says
Tania,
My prayers are with you as you trust God and your husband as he steps into this interview. I love seeing the creative ways God provides for His people. Look for Him.
Tania says
Thank you so much! I am doing my best and thank you for sharing your heart.
Andrea says
Please pray for me and my sweet sons, one with special needs. My wonderful husband has suddenly become angry and scary and is leaving our loving family. We don’t know why and are heartbroken. Please pray for our little family to get through this devastation and emerge strong and intact.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Andrea, I am so sorry for this painful season you are navigating. I will definitely join you in praying. May God grow in you a confidence in His faithfulness even in this time of uncertainty!
Julie says
Thank you for your testimony. I struggle with the impatience of ‘why haven’t you answered this yet?’ Please pray for my family. Parents who have several health concerns, husband who struggles with addiction to smoking and alcohol causing health concerns, financial struggles, lost son and I feel guilty even mentioning my problems bc there are so many people with so much more going on.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Julie,
We have to hold on to hope and believe God is always working underground. I’m praying over you, sister!
Trina Miller says
This love letter is a Word in due season for me. I have a 27 year old son who suffers from bipolar disease and he will not take medication. I am, and always have been the prime target for his anger and abuse. He is now dad to two beautiful girls, and they are my heart. When he gets angry with me, he keeps them from me. It rips my soul open. I’ve been praying for years for the abuse and the pain to stop, however this is enlightening and healing for me. Please pray for us, as I am praying without expectation of my timing. His will, not mine. Thank you!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Trina,
I am so sorry for what you are enduring. I am praying for God to provide a pathway to healing and restoration for you and your son. God be with you!
Theresa Hamlin says
I am grieving. On July 7, 2017, my 34 year old son took a bad combination of drugs. That caused a brain bleed, which caused a blood clot the size of a baseball to form in his brain. Doctors offered no hope and the outcome was unknown. He improved far beyond anything we could have imagined. However, he developed a yeast infection in his brain that he could not recover from and died on October 8. My faith in God is still strong, but I am also very disappointed and have so many questions. It is hard for me to hope and prayer is difficult. “Hope deferred makes a heart sick.” That is how I feel.
Jennifer says
Theresa,
I to lost my son to drugs last year. I am sending deep love From my mommas heart to yours. I know I haven’t any encouraging words because I know there isn’t much anyone can say to me either. But what did hit me about what Dorina said is “ the purpose of prayer is not to persuade God to do things our way; it’s to draw close to the Heavenly Father and sit in His presence. “ This is about all I can do. And the good news … it is ok to just do that. I will be praying for you and the deep anguish I know you feel because I feel it too.. I will be praying that God will show you how to use this grief for his glory . Please pray that for me too. I feel like I will never see it but He promises this “the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
1 Peter 5:10 NIV
Dorina Gilmore-Young says
Theresa,
Thank you for being honest about your feelings. I can only imagine this heartache. My prayers are with you, friend.
Jennifer says
Dorina
I have read your article several times. It gives me great encouragement. I lost my 22 year old son last year on Mother’s Day. My prayers continue to be of few words muttered out in spurts and my grief continues to be deep. I know our Jesus is with me in this deep grief …. your words regarding the purpose of prayer are very encouraging as sometimes, well most times, i lose sight of purpose… hope… and secome to despair. Tomorrow my beautiful son would have been 24. All I can do today… in this moment …is draw close to our Heavenly Father… and it is a comfort to be reminded that it is ok… that’s what He wants. My presence.
Dorina Gilmore-Young says
Jennifer, I am so sorry for this great loss you have endured. I am glad these words encouraged you. We have to cling to Jesus on our darkest days. He longs to comfort us in our grief!
Lou says
Pray for Theresa lord give her comfort and strength in her grieving and life going forward. Lord you see her hurting and unanswered questions. Help her pray to you Lord. In Jesus precious name, Amen.
Lou says
I love God. Yet I would like a husband and family of my own. Help me ready for this. And to know the man God has chosen – a msn that pursues God.
Thank you.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Lou,
I am praying for you this morning! May God guide your steps in this and open your heart to His plans for your life!
Agnes says
Lou, I’m praying for the same thing! I pray God encourages you in the wait and prepares you for all he has for you! Please pray I swiftly get over a recently ended relationship that I thought God was saying would lead to marriage and that God does all he needs to do through it, for us both. I pray that he brings me into the right relationship in his time, with my own children, amen!
Nancy Ruegg says
Oh my, Dorina. SO much wisdom and hope in this post, for all of us who have prayed for miracles that did not materialize. I am printing this out and filing it away for those days when hurt cripples hope. Praise God for the gift of communication he’s given you, to explain the heart-shift God has wrought in you, the underlying purpose of prayer, the blessings he offers when we grieve and the joys of sweet surrender. Beautiful and incredbily poignant, Dorina. Thank you.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Nancy,
Thank you so much for your encouraging, life-giving words. I’m so grateful this reached you!
Joan says
Thank God for the transforming information. My prayer life has changed. I now focus on glorifying Him in my prayers instead of constantly asking . Feel so much closer to my Lord and Savior. I now pray for Gods will to be done instead of hurry up and heal me of this thorn. Please continue to keep me in prayer that my focus stays on my healer.
Dorina Gilmore-Young says
Joan,
I love how you said “I now pray for Gods will to be done instead of hurry up and heal me of this thorn.” That is transformational and you’re inspiring me too. I will keep you in prayer!
Gina Quintanilla says
Thank God for Joan and her inspiration! I pray that God will continue to help Joan as she walks through and whatever the thorn is in her life. May He heal her of this thorn. I would like prayer for my life. I live a life of constant pain and anger. I have been married for 35 years and my husband is an alcoholic and when he gets home from work everyday, the first thing he does is get a beer. I am also the caregiver to my 27 year old daughter. She has epilepsy and she has been separated from her husband for over a year now and she has 2 children. She lives with us and it is so hard to help her when she does her own thing and does things that trigger her seizures. I have a lot of health problems myself on top of all of this. I recently went back to work as school has started and I am feeling very left out at my new position. I have longed for friends my entire life and thought I had found them here at work, but they seem to leave me out of everything. One of them I have considered to by my best friend and she has even kind of left me in the cold. I don’t know what to do anymore and I pray and nothing seems to happen. I know we are to be patient and wait on the Lord, but I always feel that nothing happens. I don’t know what else to do about it. I am so lonely!! I have no one to talk to about anything anymore.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Gina! Thank you for praying and for taking time to share your heart here. I will be remembering you as you face these hardships with your husband, your daughter and your own health. I know He doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we imagine or hope, but I can promise you today that He will walk with you. He cares about you and your story, friend. I am praying specifically that He would provide a friend for you during this time.
Joan says
Gina,
I pray that you hold on to the hem of his garment. When all else seems lost, He is always there to pick us up and comfort us in our pain. One of my children replied to me one day as I asked the question of them” have you been praying “ Prayer with out work is not prayer.” Continue to walk in faith.
Karen says
Please pray that I find the will to live.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore says
Karen, you are on my heart and I am praying right now.
Dear God,
Please give my friend Karen strength, peace and grace. If it it be your will, heal her.
Help her to feel your presence in a strong way tonight.
Amen.