It was only half a tooth. But it was half of my front tooth, and it had broken off completely.
When I looked in the mirror, a shocked and snaggle-toothed woman stared back at me. I numbly finished combing my hair and walked downstairs to where my weekend hostess had breakfast waiting. In the quiet of her beautiful, Victorian, seaside home, I burst into tears.
My looming fear was that my tooth could never be fixed or that we couldn’t afford to replace it and I’d always look that way. Then a secondary dread emerged: I had to speak to hundreds of women for an entire day, AND a videographer had already been procured to capture my lectures on film!
I had become Exhibit A of brokenness on display for all the world to see.
It’s in moments like that when all the insecurity and vulnerability of even the most seasoned, professional speaker can kick in. First, I deliberated on opening with an elaborate funny story of “what happened on my way to the women’s conference.” Then, I considered using it as an illustration for my third presentation, entitled — are you ready? — “Brokenness.”
But I wasn’t feeling especially jovial, and I realized immediately that a broken front tooth was hardly a blip for so many people who were truly suffering and broken. So, I finally chose the third path.
I spent the whole conference wearing bright coral lipstick speaking, laughing, and chatting with women, never once acknowledging the obvious wide gap in the middle of my face! I quite simply got over myself and focused on the business at hand – encouraging, teaching, and challenging hungry and hurting women — while smiling.
And God showed up.
By the end of the day, we had become so saturated in the sweet spirit of Jesus, that it was time to draw strength for the charge of going back into our homes, our own little worlds with the overflow of a filled soul.
I concluded my talk by saying, “You now have a choice: will you risk everything for a life of adventure in the presence, power, and purpose of God? Or will you play it safe, doing the same thing with the same predictable and limiting results? This morning when I broke my front tooth I had a choice to either allow that to totally sidetrack my mission and message or to move forward — imperfectly — in what I did have to offer you. I am so glad I didn’t end up falling into the trap of making it all about me. Thank you for your grace and generosity. My prayer is that when you show up with nothing much but pure obedience, the world will listen.”
What was essential that Saturday were the women who had come and the message God had given. The lovely decorations weren’t all that important. The outstanding acoustics and expert videographer were not the focus. And how the guest speaker looked was the least significant thing of all!
The next time something breaks in your life just as you are about to embark on important, God-led work, recognize it for what it is — a temptation to get rattled, to give up, and hide. Don’t do it. You and I are simply vessels of treasure deep inside, and the light from within will shine through our cracks.
We now have this light shining in our hearts,
but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.
This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
2 Corinthians 4:7 (NLT)
Michele Morin says
Lucinda, I know that I will not forget your example. My goodness, option 3 was courageous and counter-cultural–and completely outside my wheel house, but I see that degree of self-forgetfulness as something to be grown into, so THANK YOU for sharing your story here today.
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Thank you, Michele, for welcoming me into this new day with your encouraging comment. Isn’t it marvelous to know that God always helps us do the right thing? under the mercy, Lucinda
Rebecca Hastings says
What a beautiful story of HOPE! It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of despair when something doesn’t go our way (and I’d say a broken tooth right before speaking certainly qualifies!) But when we are obedient, when we bring our broken selves we get to see so much more of God!
Sometimes I wonder why I don’t see Him more in my daily life, I wonder why He’s not showing up. Maybe it’s because I’m so busy “taking care of things” I take away opportunities to see Him. And the reality is that my broken self + a grace-filled God is so much better than the me that thinks I’ve got it all figured out.
Thanks for sharing your heart today (and always!)
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Becky, I think you and I understand similar struggles and that’s why we can encourage and challenge each other. Thanks so much for processing this vulnerable message (which, of course, was learned the hard way). Looking forward to seeing you later this Fall. under the mercy, Lucinda
Becky Keife says
My prayer is that when you show up with nothing much but pure obedience, the world will listen.
Lucinda, I’m receiving that prayer today and taking to heart this beautiful message. What great things God can accomplish by the power of His Spirit when we’re willing to show up and make it about Him (not us!). Such a joy to see your words here on (in)courage today.
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Oh Becky, I’m so honored that you read my post today and received the core of the message! It’s so very true, isn’t it — what God requires of us is to show up and be obedient, trusting Him for the empowering and the fruit. Praying all over you today and So Very Grateful I met you in California and was encouraged to submit this blog. under the mercy, Lucinda
Jeannie says
A beautiful story, Cindy. Thank you.
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Thank you Jeannie. Blessings all over you today! under the mercy, Lucinda
Beverly Hudson says
Showing up with nothing much but pure obedience…..that does indeed take tremendous courage. A fairly new widow walking in a season of blank pages in an entirely new landscape, obedience is indeed the only thing I have to offer but I am taking Him at His Word and I’m taking His arm and letting Jesus escort me to new places even as I walk feeling very vulnerable. Thank you for your encouraging words.
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Oh Beverly, my heart goes out to you in your recent loss. Yes indeed, you need great courage and strength to just put one foot in front of the other these days. But our Faithful God has never left your side and He will show you a new path. Prayers with you… under the mercy, Lucinda
Elisabeth Warner says
Thank you for sharing that real story, Lucinda! It is so difficult to move on without thinking about what everyone else will say. I take comfort in the fact that the Lord is our defender. I appreciate that your story demonstrates the Lord’s faithfulness even in our brokenness.
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Elisabeth, this is so true! When we fail, when we stumble and are less-than, He steps in and covers it all with His power, presence and purpose. May you know Him as your delight and your defender today. under the mercy, Lucinda
Nan green says
Cindy, I had a day at work today where I felt completely inadequate. I stumbled when I was put on the spot. I came home defeated but then read your blog. Thank you for helping me see the bigger picture! Nan
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Nan, it is the enemy of your soul that hisses in your ear “defeat” and I know that God’s Voice is louder in your life. But hey, sometimes we are just plain tired. So, in those times (like today at work) may you know the strength of God and see yourself as He sees you — whole and winsome. under the mercy, Lucinda
Dorina says
Such a great example of how God calls us to serve in our brokenness. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring all of us with the visual.
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Oh Dorina, Getting over ourselves is the hardest ever, right? But I am discovering (and honey, it’s about time) that it’s not me folks need to see, but Christ IN ME. That brings all sorts of huge relief and release. Thank you for reading and commenting. Blessings all over you today. under the mercy, Lucinda
Beth Williams says
Lucinda,
Thank you for allowing God to work in and through you that day. We are vessels God uses to shine His light in this dark world. Patsy Clairmont has a book titled “God Uses Cracked Pots.” We are all flawed humans stumbling around this earth. God doesn’t call the qualified–He qualifies the called. Chipped tooth, bad hair, nerves & all we need to go out there & spread His word. Not worrying about how we look so much as telling His story.
Blessings 🙂
Lucinda Secrest McDowell says
Beth, yes, thankfully God does use cracked pots and I would agree with Patsy that there are a lot of us around! Don’t you just love the upside-down world of Jesus — in our weakness He is our strength, we gain from first losing, and the last shall be first? May you embrace these truths in a brand new way today. under the mercy, Lucinda