About the Author

Lucretia is the creator of Brownicity.com. She is a wife, mom of three, and a former college professor, whose passion for racial healing led her to author What LIES Between Us: Fostering First Steps Towards Racial Healing, and speak at TEDx Charlotte and Q Ideas Charlotte (2017).

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Comments

  1. Lucretia, thank you. This is a powerful, beautiful and life giving testimony. We need to hear more from you.

  2. Thank you Lucretia for putting into words what so many women of color have pondered, questioned and wondered. Do I have the intestinal fortitude to follow my own path or should I bend to societal’s standards, and norms for my life? You answered the call. I’m very glad you accepted the invitation. Your words can easily be applied to women of all ethnic and racial groups.
    Let’s reach high for God’s direction in every area of our lives.
    Thank you,
    Dee

    • Hi Dee!
      You’re welcome.
      And you are right…reconciling our identity with our Designer is every person’s journey. I hope people are able to make the connection.

      Thank you for reading.
      Shalom
      LCB

  3. Thank you so much for this, Lucretia! Your story was just what I needed to read today. I have been struggling to do the thing that I know God has made me to do (which is to write), and I was trying to fit into the roles which I’ve done for many years, of pastoring, leading small groups, mentoring, and praying for others. These are all good things, but my situation in life has changed and I was feeling I didn’t ‘fit in’ to the new place as I had before. I’m realising today, even before I read your blog today, that I had been trying to escape into the familiar and was afraid of stepping out into what has been a lifelong dream. At 67 years old, it’s time I did what God created me to do!! Who’d have thought that a blog about your hair (which was really about being who God made you to be) would encourage me to let go of familiar roles and embrace the dream God set in my heart from a very young age. Thank you and God bless you!

    • Hi Barbara!
      YES! God’s standard of liberty compels us beyond the status quo boxes in which we ‘comfortably’ live. I am still amazed at how my hair draws people to me. But I know its not really my hair. It’s God’s liberty resonating through me. I am looking forward to all God wants to express through your writing. Quickly run away from the familiar and into the new thing God has for you.

      Thank you for reading.
      Shalom
      LCB

  4. I am shocked to hear of what you have had to go through. I have studied your people’s history and the horrendous historic experiences and triumphs especially the non violent movements during my Masters in Peace & Conflict Studies BUT to hear it/read it from a personal aspect and something as precious as your hair a beautiful, enviable part of your identity- well it’s crushing. And to hear laws (although a success) is only passed this year?! It saddens me also.

    What a powerful story you have. I am brown but from Indian a as nd Australian origin. I was always caught between two worlds growing up in a country we’re racism again our own indigenous people still had not resolved to this day. I too was a victim of not being fully white yet stared at when I went to India and treated differently there too. I never had life threatening experiences but I still felt hurt at times. Wishing to be something other than the beautiful god made girl I am. It wasn’t until I matured and travelled, married became a mother that I grew to love myself more.

    Thank you for sharing your story here and with Gods influence on you, how that helped you heal and inspired others to be proud of their beautiful hair. I always wanted hair like yours, I’m not sure if that’s ok to say but it’s true none the less. It’s so important to be allowed to be who we are in its entirety. You sound like a God loving trail blazer!!
    Jas

    • Hi Jas!
      My children are multi-ethnic like you. Growing up between two designated and politicized racial groups has specific challenges. My husband (who is white) and I go above and beyond to give our children the tools to navigate the brokenness that exists outside of our home.

      I am relieved to know that you were able to know and love your design as God does.

      Thank you for your words of encouragement and thank you for reading.
      Shalom
      LCB

  5. Amen, what a uplifting acknowledgement of who you are as God created you to be. I too can celebrate the moment I decided no longer killing my hair with man made products. But my struggle was more with allowing my hair to turn gray naturally – and when I too did the change of cutting it and letting my hair speak it was a bold step for me to move from behind “my hair” to who the Lord created me to be.
    Yay for His loving kindness towards us all. I started to get compliments, and comments about that they too wanted to do it but did not see others showing their grey glory! I reflect today, and can say woman definitely have shifted their values and are owning who they are Amen!

    • Hi Duhanne!
      ‘their grey glory!’ I love it!
      I think the more we appreciate our beauty, the more our beauty is accepted.

      Thank you for reading and sharing.
      Shalom
      LCB

  6. That is a beautiful story, Lucretia, and that tag line is worth pinning up on the mirror as a valuable reminder. Thank you.
    As an aside, there is an unfortunate typo in the first sentence of the third paragraph that you will probably want to fix.
    God bless you as you reflect His glory and creativity.

  7. Dear Lucretia, it so shames me to know that anyone’s hairstyle would be a tool to discriminate. It’s hard for me to hear that legislation is necessary to try to correct this situation. We have so very far still to travel on this road to equality. Bravo to you for listening to God’s urging and for following through with it all! You are such a wonderful example to young people and adults as well. May you be richly blessed in your journey!

    • Hi Irene!
      Thank you for your encouragement.
      I agree…the USA is such a wonderful place to live, but has a history of having to legislate civil and human treatment. But I guess, that is the case wherever humans are being human. I am grateful that my life is authored by a Source from another world. May we manifest that world here on earth.

      Thank you for reading
      Shalom
      LCB

  8. Dear Lucretia, thank you for this post. I’m really battling with my hair at the moment! I’m white with hair that used to be 3A/2C but now after two pregnancies is 2B. And my gosh, I just wish it was neat! I made my peace with my curls at 18, stopping straightening and learning to care for my ringlets. But now at 32 the ringlets are gone and I’m left with a halo of frizz and a long, straggly birds’ nest. Add that to being one of the only mums on the school run embracing her grey hairs and I do not look like I’m meant to look! I need to pluck up the courage to make an appointment with a curly hair salon and get some help. But in the meantime I guess I need to take my hair to God! Thank you for the reminder xx

    • Hi Emma,
      I remember the days of not knowing what to do with my hair! And yes, I talked to God about my hair. I would say, ‘ You gave it to me, help me restore its beauty.’ Usually, what happened is that I’d grow in my ability to accept that fact that I was not in control…lol…not even of my hair…lol.

      I hope you’ll find answers at the curly hair salon.
      Thank you for reading
      Shalom
      LCB

  9. You’re hair is Beautiful!! It’s the first thing I noticed about your article! I thought, “that is so pretty!” Hope you continue to embrace the real you! Thanks for your write-up! God bless you! Lauren

  10. Lucretia

    I think your hair is downright beautiful. It’s what God gave you and you are His masterpiece.

  11. Thank you for todays reading. You have spoke the truth. God loves us just the way we are. It not the way people see us that matter. It is the way God see us that matters. We are Daughter’s of the King. That king is Jesus. He love us just the way we are. I was bullied at school when small. Called a horrible name. Only I got prayer for it I was told and shown in Gods word that I was beautiful and a Daughter of the one and only true King. I would not be the person I am today. Like the kids song Jesus Loves all the Children of the World Red and Yellow Black and White. We are his Children. I say Amen to that. Sure when you are sick and in Hospital or have to to see a Doctor because you are not well. You don’t care what that Doctor looks like or what color that Doctor skin is as long as they make you well or give tablets or medicine to make you well. So why are we so critical when it comes to people. If saved Jesus would not want us to that. We are to shine for him no matter what we look like and let his love shine through us and know we are his Children. Know he loves us warts and all. Do as this kids song says and another kids songs say that Jesus would want to live by if we are true children of the true King of the world Jesus. Who loved us so much that he went on to die on Calvary for us. The song is Jesus hands where kind hands doing good to all. Sometimes these kids songs really speak to me. Just how true they are and how as Follower of Jesus we should be living our lives as Children of the true king of the world. Who loves us so that much. For that we can be Embracing Our Crown Of Glory For Him. I say Amen too that. Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx

    • Thank you Dawn.
      You are right. Jesus is our example. If we fully follow his leading, we walk in the power to love beyond the divides and brokenness orchestrated by our fear.

      Thank you so much for reading.
      Shalom
      LCB

  12. I really enjoyed this article, and definitely learned something about this topic! Thanks for sharing. Love your work!

  13. What a great story. Thanks for sharing. Personally, I wish that my hair would be either straight or curly without product, but I have for the most part accepted the wavy, thick, frizzy mane I naturally have most days. As a stay-at-home mom, I definitely don’t worry about it too much, but I do live mostly in ponytails to get it out of my way. There are days when I shower and “fix” it, but most days, it’s brush it and pull it back for me.

    • Hi Rachel.
      The fun thing about curly hair is experimenting with all the different moisture-based products that are now available. Whether in a pony tail or out in a mane, its all beautiful.

      Thank you for reading.
      Shalom
      LCB

  14. Lucretia, your post makes me wonder what the world would be like if every woman embraced fully who she is — inside and out — as a beautifully, intentionally designed daughter of God. I’d love to hear more about how this making this outward change had an inward impact on your life and relationship with God. So grateful for the real, beautiful you! xx

    • HI Becky,
      Thank you for reading.
      I hope to be able to write more about the inward change in a book. While writing this post, I quickly ran out of space. I even had to edit it down before submitting it. But the inward change — healing from race/ism ideology — is how I am able to do the work I do now with so much grace. We all need to heal from the lies race/ism has bestowed upon us.

      Shalom
      LCB

  15. Your story (and your hair) are so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing! We all need the reminder to be who we were MADE to be, not who society tells us to be!

    God Bless,
    In Beautiful Chaos

  16. As a white girl, I’m so sorry that you lived under that oppression. I’m so grateful that you were willing to step out and embrace your natural self, even when it could have come at great cost. My hope is that someday all children will be able to feel beautiful no matter their hair type, color of skin, language, or anything else the majority deems as “other.”

  17. Lucretia,

    Thank you for opening my eyes today. I had no idea that you went through all that oppression. So sad that people can’t accept us for who we are. Sorry for the “stupid” remarks of “seemingly un Christian people. If you truly follow God wholeheartedly then you will love everyone as they are. Why is it that some people believe we should look, act or dress a certain way in order to “conform” to society? We all need to look, act, & be just how God made us. Thank you for listening to God & be daring to step out of your comfort zone at a cost. I find that if we obey God the rewards are huge. I never follow society’s norms. Always have had short straight hair. Don’t care if you like how I look or act. This is how God designed me. Praying one day we can all be accepted as we are. Wonderful Children of Almighty God.
    You are gorgeous big curly hair & all!

    Blessings 🙂

    • Hi Beth!
      Thank you for your words of encouragement and your prayers. Also, thank you for being an example of living freely as yourself. Uniquely designed should be the norm.

      Thank you for reading.
      Shalom
      LCB

  18. Thank you Amanda!
    I believe we are headed in the right direction. If we keep learning and engaging and no longer use silence as a mechanism, we’ll get there sooner than later.

    Thank you for reading
    Shalom
    LCB

  19. Hi Lucretia. I almost hesitate to to write this, but I must. First, I have to tell you, I am white. Your story is beautiful! YOU are beautiful!! I am SO sorry for the way you were made to feel. Beauty is not in the color of one’s skin despite what anyone has said and you should never have to make yourself look more white, or more ANYTHING. I admire your bravery in stepping out of the social “norn” to be who you were meant to be. And what an example to other young ladies!

    • Hi Pati!
      Thank you for reading and sharing your encouraging words.

      Shalom to you.
      LCB

    • Hi Tammie!
      You have God’s vision.
      Thank you for reading and sharing your heart.

      Shalom to you
      LCB

  20. Hi Friend- I love this story of your obedience and God’s faithfulness to bless you abundantly when you stepped out in faith. I love how God answered the deepest desires of your heart with a wonderful husband, a career and a modeling opportunities. He is so faithful. Why do we doubt his goodness when he calls us to obedience- it is only to bless us. Shalom to you.

    • Hi Penny!
      I know right!! LOVE only wants greater love for us! Why do we hesitate. But I’m so grateful that God mercifully understands.
      Thank you for reading and sharing.

      Shalom to you.
      LCB