About the Author

Grace P. Cho is a Korean American writer, poet, and speaker. She believes telling our stories can change the world, and desires to elevate women of color’s voices in the publishing industry. Learn more at @gracepcho and gracepcho.com.

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Reader Interactions


  1. Grace,
    Thank you for being so open, raw, and vulnerable. Marriage is HARD!! When married people say they never argue, I question the “realness” of their marriage. I have found that in a union like marriage, it is a slow death. I am continually dying to “self” and continually asking to be made more like Christ. I’ve also found that I can’t really work on my “marriage,” the only person I can work on is me – in seeking my identity in Christ. I can work on bringing a better me to my marriage. I can’t manipulate my spouse to make changes. I know it’s difficult and yes, there is grace in the process. Lifting you and your relationship up in prayer right now.
    Bev xx

    • Grace
      Thank you very much for your honesty and transparency. Bev, I really like your reply, it is so beautiful and encouraging. I am in the midst of a very difficult marriage situation and like Grace mentioned there’s a lot of bitterness, anger, unmet expectations and resentment. One moment I feel like I want the marriage to work then something else happens and I get into my feelings and I react and I get angry and frustrated.

      I take encouragement from what Bev said, the only person I can change is myself and I need to draw closer to God for him to empty me of all the hurt and pain that I am carrying. Maybe my marriage will not get to a better place but I need to be happy with myself so that I can be a good parent to my children.

      Marriage is the most difficult thing I have ever done but with God’s grace and mercy we are able to face what comes our way. So today I surrender my needs to God and ask him to change me.

      With love
      Sophia xx

      • Sophia,
        Since a marriage is made up of two sinful people, we need to call upon the third “cord” in our marriage – the Holy Spirit to do a work in us to mold us individually into the likeness of Christ. I found counseling a very helpful resource in order to work on me and my issues. I felt like I was bringing the best “me” I could bring to the marriage. The other half has to be equally committed. I got my (ex) husband to go, begrudgingly, to counseling (but he was having an affair at the time) so the counseling wasn’t exactly helpful. Praying that you will have better success!! It takes two to tango as they say. Surrender is a great first step…
        Bev xo

  2. Grace,

    God bless you for your openness & raw honesty. Praying for you in the midst of this trial. Marriage is a union of two very diverse people. It takes time & effort to make a marriage work. Life has its ups & downs that affect us. The only person we can change is ourselves. We must die to our wants/needs & serve the other person. That can be hard at times. When trouble comes in my marriage I simply ask hubby to sit & talk with me. I make a list of wants/needs for me & then listen to his wants/needs. We come to an understand of each other. Forgiveness is at the root of all our saving graces. We continually forgive each other for things said, done or not done. It hasn’t always been easy for us. Marriage like anything is a work in progress. Praying for you both. May God send healing & relief to your souls.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Grace, I’m in the same sea and bitterness in my marriage. Your words explained us! My husband is disabled, poor health, can barely walk. He was injured in an accident years ago. Through the years of him not being able to work any longer, pain, bitterness, anger we have gone down hill. I’ve tried helping him in every way but he gets angry easily & takes it out on me. You know the one you love the most? I know our love is still there for each other, over 40 years of marriage but it is so difficult each day. I will pray for you, bless you. My faith is what I hold on to, Sometimes I get on my knees and ask for help, for patience, forgiveness and my own bittterness. Thank you for your post that we’re not the only ones. God bless you!

  3. Grace,
    Saying a prayer for you and your husband this morning. I know so much of what you are going through as my husband and I entered marriage counseling this year. God can and will redeem your marriage when you come before him seeking healing for all the hurts and built up stuff. The most important word is “forgiveness.” It is hard, but essential, and it is the way God acts toward us and we are called to act toward our spouse. Marriage is a sacred institution. It is worth fighting for. It may be a long and difficult process, but so much growth will come out of it. I pray that in the end your marriage will be stronger than ever, and you will both be closer to God than ever before. Thank you for sharing your difficult road.

  4. Grace, praying!! Even when a marriage looks good on the outside- we always, the people in it, always need God!! I do need His care and wisdom and daily strength!
    I’m grateful for your honest post and you!

  5. Committing to prayer for this process of healing and restoration, Grace.
    Thank you for going first–I’m sure there are many readers in their own “blanket of silence.”

  6. Oh Grace! God bless you and help you…I have been where you are. The only thing that got me through it was pray pray and pray some more. And cry and listen after praying. Many years have passed since that awful period in my marriage, and now both my hubby and me know to say “sorry” immediately if there is any miscue at all. We talk so much more now (almost as much and as easily as when we first met). Hang tough and do that question the original Ann Landers had her readers ask themselves: am I better with or without him/the situation/job/whatever. It is so incredibly painful yet eye-opening to think about that (kind of like the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”, when the angel Clarence let George see what his family’s life would have been if he hadn’t been born) : ( but then…xo

  7. This is incredible – and such poignant moment. My husband and I are writing a book entitled Grace-filled marriage, and I’m currently writing about a time of crisis in our marriage, when we had chosen to work at it, but the feelings weren’t following quickly and it was just plain hard work. You have summarised the struggle so beautifully! We are actually looking to include other voices in the book to give it added depth – if you would be interested/happy for us to share some of your story please, please do get in touch. Thanks so much! Claire Musters, author of Taking Off the Mask.

  8. Grace,
    I am a reader who has never commented on a blog but yours struck an extremely pertinent chord with me. I applaud your strength in recognizing your situation with such clarity and your goal to address and move through it to a better marriage situation. My heart is with you in this most trying of times. From a stranger with love.

  9. Grace,
    I know the road you are traveling. Many years ago, my wreck of a marriage jumped in the car with me and took me down a road of which I had no directions to follow. My car hit many puddles of mess, splashing those who cared. I retreated, leaving friends and family wet and not knowing how to help. My only map was the Psalms. Our sweet loving God spoke to me through the struggles and beauty on those pages. And, they gave me hope. Hope was what I clung to. Sometimes with white knuckles. Sometimes with a warm embrace of my heart. At first my hope was to repair my marriage ( the way I thought it should be) but it wasn’t until I fully gave it to Jesus ( mostly because I was utterly exhausted) did I truly feel hope for whatever His plan was to be. I adopted the habit of looking for glimmers of hope in my moments, hours, days and years. They came. Many not related to my troubles but just to let me physically and mentally know He was there. Sister, my prayer is for you to see and feel God’s hope mapped out especially for you. It may not be what we are expecting, but through the twists and turns end up an even more beautiful destination.

  10. I don’t know if it will be comforting or discouraging to you, but I went through what you seem to be experiencing for literally decades in my marriage! It made me feel so alone because none of my friends were going through it, and I felt like there really wasn’t anyone to talk to about it because we were both Christians going to the same church. It wasn’t like I could go to a bible study and say “Please pray for my husband; he’s an unbeliever.” Many was the time I told God that I was out of faith where my marriage was concerned; I no longer believed He would change things. But God is in the business of changing hearts, even if the process is sometimes achingly slow. We have now been married 41 years. By God’s grace our sons have grown into fine men and we are loving grandparents to three. God is still healing our hearts, and transforming us a little more every year. There are still struggles, but we have gradually learned to see our different “wirings” through more compassionate eyes and to extend more grace and forgiveness to each other.
    As an aside, looking into the Enneagram might help you both acquire a better understanding of yourselves and each other, and the very different things that motivate each of you and your reactions to each other. Anything that increases understanding helps! God’s peace to you. Bless you for not sugarcoating the struggle.

  11. I pray that God’s amazing grace and love hold you and your husband close during this difficult time. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. I cannot imagine the pain and loneliness you must feel. May God bless you and keep you close in His arms.

  12. The vulnerability in sharing something as personal as a struggle in your marriage is to be commended. Even though it makes others around you uncomfortable, you should continue to share. You are not alone in those struggles and others can benefit from hearing your story. It may be awkward in these moments but the people you share may seek you out one day to share similar struggles because they know you can relate. Praying your bitterness passes soon and you move on to better-ness.

  13. We all think when we get a Boyfriend he asks us to get Married. Saved or Unsaved it is going to be a bed of Roses. Like it was when our Boyfriend was going with us. He was kind loving and caring. Done no wrong. We think it will be same when we get Married. But don’t forget how did the rose become that beautiful rose it is that you look at in someone Garden or in vase. It had to push it’s way through all the thorns. To be come the Beautiful rose it is today. That we see someone’s garden or a vase. With most Marriages it is the same. When we first get Married yes it can be shock. Living with someone 24 hours a day 7 days a week getting used to their ways the way they do and say things. It can cause us to do and say things. That can cause rows. But we have to learn to live with there differences and learn to forgive them. We can do that by asking Jesus to help us. Doing what it says in Gods word the Bible about Forgiveness. Both people if a row has started forgiving either. If things get worse go for if saved Christian Marriage Counseling. Especially if saved and stop and think of what brought you both together as Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Then together enough to love either and say I do and Make your Marriage vows before God and your Family. As Marriages are especially if saved worth saving. Just as Must it not saved saving as well going for Marriage counseling. Especially don’t let Satan wispher in your ear it not working give up go own ways. If the Marriage can be saved I would get the help. As especially if saved would not let Satan the Old Devil have the last laugh. No never. As those who prayer or read Gods word together if saved stay together. That’s what me and my Husband of 26 years do. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little.

  14. I really needed this today. Find myself in a similar place. Realizing that everything in marriage is a choice and that I get to (or have to) choose to die. It is SO hard when I feel like I am constantly being at the receiving end of injustice and required to extend forgiveness (skewed feelings of course since I am NOT perfect).
    Thank you for bravely putting this out there. It feels like a very lonely place and while I do not rejoice in the sufferings of others, I welcome the thought of not being the only wife to experience this hard place and the struggle in it.

    • Yes, you’re not alone! Marriage is TWO people willing to die to themselves, not just one. I’ve been feeling the injustice too, and recognizing that it’s not only my responsibility to extend grace and put in effort but it’s both of our responsibilities. I’ve been carrying too much instead of sharing an equal load, and I’m hoping for a shared carrying in your marriage as well.

  15. Your truth is a gift to us all today. I understand the crushing weight of a broken marriage and the expectations dashed, betrayed, lost. There is much grace for the time of unknown, the time of death, the time of grief and frustration.

    Whether your marriage survives or not, know that Jesus is with you in each moment.

  16. Aw, Grace, how I understand this all too well as a divorced woman. Not that you’re headed that way, but it does get so heavy and lonely at times, doesn’t it??? I had some amazing older women who had been through the same thing and remarried since but they lovingly walked alongside me. They were SO, SO helpful. My own pastor dad at the time did not know what to do but he put boundaries in place since my husband at the time served in the church. It was messy. It was complicated. Praying for you, sweet one. God does take what we’ve been through and restores it for our good however that may look like.

  17. Thanks for your open vulnerability. It is not in vain. I am learning to navigate the hurt, bitterness, and discomfort. It gives me comfort in a sort of weird way, to know that although our circumstances may be different, you feel the same deep emotions and pain. I wish that were not so. God bless you and continue to give you strength and comfort and encouragement in each moment of the day. May you be able to rest in Him.

  18. This was for me. I prayed this morning about forgiveness and burying the past while still staying strong with boundaries. To say it’s ok you didn’t meet my needs yesterday, but please see me and meet my needs today. It’s a death and a wrestling, a dance I cannot choreograph on my own. Thank you for sharing from your “we’re not there yet.”

  19. You can feel so alone…but you are not! People struggle with how to respond with an honest connection to your situation because to do so could lead the down a path they don’t want to go…having to acknowledge their own ignored relationship issues…every marriage has them!

    After 30 years of marriage, my husband & I had to tackle such a monster…we’ve committed the past 10 years to building a new “truth-full“ foundation. You have my heart & prayers!

    I pray you can each see the perceptions you’ve come to believe are your collective truths… individual perceptions skew collective reality until we check them with the other person & together sort our what is real in the relationship.

    I pray you will listen ”care-fully” to each other answer whether or not together you accept the responsibility of the individual work it will take to unknot the pain web you’re so tightly wrapped in.

    Mark 10:8-9 “He becomes like one person with his wife. Then they are no longer two people, but one. And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together.” I used to think this only referred to ‘others’ outside our marriage but we each had to confess our part in our unraveling.
    I pray you allow God to be God in your hearts – minds – souls…and in your relationship going forward. You will always be connected in someway…what will it look like in 10 years?

    Praise & blessings always

  20. Wow Grace, these are some really deep thoughts! “Is resurrection even possible when what needs to die isn’t finished dying yet?”
    Praying that you both will work through the hurts and changes that need to be made and your marriage will emerge as a beautiful butterfly or a sparkling diamond, with all the hurt and pain washed clean. I think it is ok not to expect it to happen overnight. Keep praying and leaning on the Lord. He will get you through. Blessings

  21. Grace… your name… your task. How? Time. Give yourself time to heal. And don’t apologize for the time it takes. I have been where you are… the struggle wears you down. One step at a time. Psalm 56: 8- 13 from TLB was my mantra for many, many months…

    You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book. The very day I call for help, the tide of battle turns. My enemies flee! This one thing I know: God is for me! I am trusting God—oh, praise his promises! I am not afraid of anything mere man can do to me! Yes, praise his promises. I will surely do what I have promised, Lord, and thank you for your help. For you have saved me from death and my feet from slipping, so that I can walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

    Grace… God has seen and recorded EVERY tear. Rest in that knowledge. You are not alone sister.

  22. Thank you for writing this and sharing your struggle. You have touched my heart and your experience is way to familiar to me. As I am slowly heading out of that season (2 steps forward, 1 step back), I am wondering if the isolation I felt, may have been calling me to His arms rather than friends who truly understood. In the end, I had to say “God you brought me here and you know this struggle. I will trust you and praise you for any glimmer of hope. “

  23. Your story could be mine. My husband’s choices two days before Christmas last year started us on an extremely stressful rollercoaster ride that’s not over yet. I’ve felt the pain, the anger, the loss. After 34 years of marriage this is NOT where I expected to be.
    I’ve asked the hard questions. Prayed and cried. I’ve looked for God’s Grace in the crisis. And like you, desired to curl up like a child under a blanket.
    And just like you Grace I’ve felt the pulling back of friends and family who don’t know how or don’t want to deal with the “messy room”. Or maybe they are afraid it could happen to them. Leaving me very much alone.
    So today, I say THANK YOU Grace! For being brave enough to share your most intimate pain. Thank you that it gives hope to me that I’m “not the only one”. Thank you that I’m brave enough to take one more step. Thank you.
    I pray for you and your husband. That God’s hand holds you both. And that you will come out of this situation with a greater understanding of him and yourselves. And along they way he sends signs of his love and encouragement you can’t miss. Blessings.

    • I’m so sorry for the pain, Debbie! I hate that it’s not only the pain from your husband but also from the friends and family who don’t know how to meet you in the pain. You’re not alone, and I’m praying there would be hope in God being Emmanuel for you in this time.

  24. Dear Grace,
    Thank you so much for your sincerity and braveness. I have been in the same place and circumstances that you are in. I can totally relate to your pain, you are not the only one wrestling with your marriage in the way you describe it. My dear husband is an unbeliever so you can imagine the walls and the lack of connection that we have sometimes. I was really bitter, extremely angry and with deep sorrow. I can assure you there is light at the end. I have learn to forgive quickly, because now I know the devastating consequences of unforgiveness. I am now more patient and more loving. Forgiving is a process, so EVERY time that you remember an offense you have to immediately say “I forgive him!”. And God will pour a balsam in your wounds, you will remember it, but it won’t harm you anymore. And your heart will be again full of love. Excuse me if I am giving you unwanted advise, I have been in this process of healing for almost two decades. God wants us to forgive our enemies, pray for them and bless them. Sometimes our enemy is our dear husband. Maybe you already know these books, they have been very helpful for me: The power of the praying wife – Stormie Omartian and Love and Respect – Emerson Eggerichs. Stormie saved her marriage praying and praying. Her book is beautiful and it teaches you to pray for every aspect of your husband’s life. Dr Emerson’s book is amazing!!! I learned how different men and women are in the ways they communicate. He and his wife have seminars for couples,
    My dear Grace I hope my words can be helpful for you. The Lord’s blessings are new every day, look at him, don’t stare at your problems because they become bigger, your eyes in the Lord.

  25. Oh Grace. It’s a gift to be able to write something so painfully beautiful. I’ve been there, and it’s no walk in the park, but the resurrection that comes will be bright as the morning sun.

    Also, my husband and I volunteer with FamilyLifevWeekend to Remember getaways. They have them all over the country, and I can’t express how much attending these yearly has improved our communication. Beyond that, as volunteers, we’ve seen God breathe LIFE through the events. I can’t recommend them enough.

    I’m praying for you right now. It’s a hard, but worthwhile journey, friend.

  26. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I, too, have struggled in my marriage for decades now. The pleading to be understood, noticed and appreciated that never gets fulfilled. The hardened heart that goes into self preservation mode. Then weakening and being vulnerable yet again as we are not created to live with a hardened heart only to be disappointed yet again. The cycle going round and round and round. The pleading with God to change me, change my heart, change my needs so that I don’t feel so abandoned but nothing ever really changing. The constant debate within me warring against each other- do I stay for the sake of my family (2 grown children, 1 grandchild) and because I know it’s what God calls me to do or do I consider leaving to let my heart find freedom and healing from the lifetime of unmet expectations and starting over and hope I can maintain a positive relationship with my children. Everyone’s situation is unique but many have experienced the pain of a troubled marriage and there are never any easy answers. Praying with you as I continue to pray for my own situation and wait on God to move and work in His timing and ways.

    • Some women live through decades of unmet needs and neglect, abandonment and verbal, emotional abuse. Yes, God values marriage but He hates oppression and harshness more, and He values women enough to forbid men from divorcing them in the OT. This often gets twisted. The church and even husbands have used scripture and guilt to control and keep women in prisons of sinful abuse. How can we fulfill our purpose in such unstable environments? I sincerely pray for those who after years of waiting for change and giving grace time and time again will take steps toward freedom and accept reality so that we are not teaching kids to tolerate dysfunction and perpetuate the cycle.

  27. Thank you for writing such poignant words that touch the heart. Marriage goes through such different seasons and many people find themselves searching for answers and seemingly alone, not sure they can share or risk saying that things are not “perfect”. Being married for 35 years this month my husband and I are now “celebrating” on a trip to the Vatican and Italy and witnessing Christ history in a way that I pray will unify us and help us to come back together again. Thank you for sharing from the heart.

  28. after my hubby left me in my 20s Jeremiah 29 11 kept popping up.. I have plans for you..a hope and a future. God wasn’t kidding.. years later I’m remarried to a wonderful person. but in the midst of my divorce and hurts most people pulled away. they don’t understand the deep hurt because it’s not there’s..
    have mercy and show grace to those who hurt you…you will in return have God’s!

  29. Thank you for writing this post and sharing the way you did. I haven’t been on this site very often, I used to be, but felt alone here. One, I liked the words of encouragement, but I also felt that there wasn’t anyone sharing pain. I said to myself doesn’t anyone here have a challenged marriage? Seems people say their husbands are their best friends and other such compliments, and I wanted to scream does anyone have a hard time being married? Am I just the crazy one. So I happened to drop in today and read your post. And thank you thank you for sharing the hard.

    • Thank you, Lynn, for coming here and commenting. I’ve asked myself that so many times – am I the crazy one? I started writing this post, not thinking I would write so vulnerably, but I’m so glad I did – for me and for you.

  30. Wow, Grace! How brave of you to invite the (not always friendly) world into your pain. What a gift to those who identify with you at this very moment. How amazing that one person’s broken heart can heal another! Only by the grace, and in the hope, of our Savior. Thank you for your courage.

  31. Im there also after 36 years, death of a child, another very angry child that we’r went through hell for. Husband’s nervous breakdown and refusal to get help. Things that gradually killed orr relationship.

    The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick had saved my sanity. She is a Christian counselor, who looks at marriage problems realistically with scripture basis but not the way most Christian counselors tell you to try harder, put a bandaid on it and be healed. She gets it.

  32. I know what it’s like to pray for change in a relationship and see no change coming. To hit a dead end. To be in a place where discussing things doesn’t change anything, to get to a place where you no longer talk yet you were once best of friends. To wonder if God is going to help make things better. I have been in such a season since the beginning of the year. I was angry, bitter with my partner and I felt God asking me to forgive and I told Him, I cannot forgive unless you show me how to. Coz I felt so justified in being angry, and to my amazement, God slowly helped me to forgive. But now I keep asking God, aren’t you all about peace, about us leaving peacefully with others? Why won’t you allow us to make peace? And so a few weeks ago I tried to start peace talks to end the Cold War that has been on since the beginning of the year and my efforts failed miserably, hit a wall. Now I know to wait for God’s timing, to let Him heal me, heal us in the time and way He will choose. And I know what it’s like to feel that friends are uncomfortable with your situation and wish you could get better faster but you are not getting better and so you act like all is fine or like you are ok. But I have learnt that only God can be with us through the good, the bad and the ugly. And that at times he will give you the least likely person to hear you, see you, understand you. He did this for me through a person I least expected who listened to me without judgement, allowed me to share my deepest, ugliest, darkest emotions and to cry and cry until I had enough and has been praying for me and did not disappear. God is with you, He is working, He whispers in your ears, He sends helpers and comforters who have been through the same thing. In His own timing He will make all things beautiful. Most importantly, in this season, He is transforming you, working on you, making you better.

  33. Hi Grace, This really hits home! My husband and I recently filed divorce papers as our marriage has been dying a slow death over the last months and honestly probably over the last few years. I didn’t enter into marriage thinking if it didn’t workout we could just get divorced, I believe in for better or for worse. I always thought there would be one more chance until I was told that there would not be another chance. Even writing that brings a bit of pain to my eyes but at the same time I’ve been more accepting recently of what is and what is going to be. I’m in the same boat as you, wanting a sister who can really empathize with what I’m going through but then wanting to quickly relieve people of the negativity/sadness/depressing qualities of this conversation as quickly as possible. It makes me feel isolated and as though my whole life has become about me becoming divorced and living in a space between what my life used to be and what my life will be in the future (which isn’t solidified yet). Thinking about the past, remembering both the wonderful times and all the “what ifs” has become exhausting so I’m trying to leave to the past in the past as torturing myself with “what ifs” has not been productive at all and neither has reminding myself that those wonderful times with my current husband are over. I will say this, the process that I’m still in has felt very much like grieving a death and if you are in one of the stages of grief, know that God won’t leave you there, you will make it through all the stages and regardless of what the outcome for your marriage is God will be with you every step of the way and you will be okay although it may not seem like it now. Be gentle with yourself 🙂

  34. Marriage is part of the process that God uses to make us who he wants us to be. You cannot take two people from different backgrounds, put them in such an intimate relationship and expect constant harmony. It can be painful, rest assured that He is working in the mess to teach you, mold you into his image. The other thing I ask myself in conflict is – will this matter in 6 weeks? Will I even remember? It helps me stay focused on the things that really matter and let go of the little stuff that can be a distraction. But, you are correct, it is hard if you don’t have that support, someone to talk things through. I hope that he brings you that someone to support you.

  35. This was an awesome post and right where I am in my marriage! I have been fighting bitterness with trying to replace it with God’s truths and grace. Marriage is super hard but I know God is making me/us into who He has designed us to be through this season! I so needed to read this! Thank you and God bless you!

  36. “But is resurrection even possible when what needs to die hasn’t finished dying yet?”

    Grace, I don’t have any words to add. Other than I’m grateful for you. Amen.

  37. Hey grace,

    Im terrible with words! I just want to thank you for sharing something so personal. I find comfort in knowing that im not alone. Although I don’t know the specifics on yours.. I do know anger, resentment, bitterness and rage is all too familiar in my situation. I had my breaking point couple years back and I now see a light on the other side. Im praying for you and your marriage.

  38. thank you for sharing your heart, your vulnerability. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. From death to life! He is not finished yet! love you friend. so proud of you

  39. There is enough room at the cross for all who have been broken and bruised in marriage and other personal relationships. I won’t pretend that I know how to wait for healing with a great attitude. I aspire to be that way. When we are children, it seems that forgiveness is less painful. We young ladies have many hats to wear. I long to set a pattern of being a person who wants to keep peace all around me. I know our Creator is the only one who can help bridge any gulfs we need to cross over. God bless you all. Journey on, it is worth it.


  40. Marriage is hard and even harder as the years passes. This December will be our 25th annivesary and we have had our up and downs and sideways and everything in between. Praying for you Grace and know that God will pull the both of you through this. Keep preserving through it.