About the Author

Sarah Mae has a past that would be her present if it weren’t for Jesus. A blogger, author, and co-author of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, she’s currently writing The Complicated Heart, a book for broken-hearted lovers of Jesus. Learn more at @thecomplicatedheart on Instagram or...

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  1. Sarah,
    I think this is spot-on advice from your mentor friend. I know that I grew up thinking that I had to earn my parents’ love and the love of my Heavenly Father. I was the consummate perfectionist – earning, striving, pleasing, doing all the right things in order to gain affection. I know that inadvertently I demanded the same kind of obedience from my kids. Maybe it wasn’t as pronounced, but my expectations were high. Also, I was a people-pleaser. I wanted people to like me. That included my children. I often think I did them a great disservice in trying to be their friend instead of first and foremost being their parent. If your children say that they hate you at some point, chances are you are being a GOOD parent. I can see how my own unaddressed issues perpetuated problems in my parenting. Wish I could have read your post years ago…
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • I am a kindred spirit to @Bev! Going to take this to Jesus as I raise my little boy. Thanks Sarah for this beautiful wisdom and bravery.

  2. Such beautiful, freeing truth here. I echo similar sentiments in my book, Purposeful Parenting. It is my assertion that we must first deal with the “dirt” on the filter of our own hearts so that we are clear and unclogged to freely give children the love they need and deserve. Thank you so much for this sweet reminder today.

  3. Sarah: I am a kindred spirit. The forgiveness part is hard for me. I know my Savior has forgiven me but why is it so hard to forgive myself. I have confessed it and I laid it at the cross so many times. I have told others my story. My 3 babies are in heaven and I know I will run to them in heaven and I hope that they will forgive me too. Pray for me ladies that I can leave this at the cross and truly forgive myself. I have 2 wonderful children who are 19(young woman) and 22(young man) whom I cherish. They do not know my story. God loves me and I know that with all my heart. I cherish these devotions and I share these with my friends. Blessings. Kimberly

  4. I never had kids and I never will. Because that is my own choice. I just not brave to give birth. I admire people who give birth. Like you and my other people and my two sister’s. Even though I am the eldest in my family. I happy the way I am. But my heart go out to people who try to have kids and can’t. Get pregnant then loose the baby. Or the baby is born early and does not live that long Doctors work so hard to keep that baby alive. The young teenager that has got pregnant. Now does not want the baby. Your case you telling your story to the whole world. How brave you were to listen to God and through your tears tell that your story. I know your story has probably went on to help others just like you. God will honor you for telling it. We are as Christian to pray for all theses things. As we don’t know what any of theses people are going through. Especially when we hear a story like any I have just said about. If we ourselves have not gone through any of the things ourselves. So what comes to my mind right away. An good Christian of mine who alot older than me who is now in glory would say. Pray for them. Don’t talk about them as you don’t know anything about how they are feeling or what they are going through all there sutations are different. God knows their pain. She was so right. Key to helping them to healthy life of healthy parenting. Is prayer and looking at Gods word. Look at Hannah in the Bible if a person saved they want kids they trying for a family they can cry on to God like Hannah. God gave her Samuel. If they really trust God in prayer God can answer that prayer. Give them that Child they long for. When the Doctor tell them they will never have kids. Nothing is impossible to God. God can help heal all the other wonds like the Mum that baby has died. So keep looking up on to God trusting his word the Bible and Prayer. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little

  5. Sarah Mae,

    Oh how the devil wants us to dwell on our past. He enjoys seeing us feeling destroyed. Thank God for your mentor. She is spot on about releasing the lies of your past. We need that healing for ourselves. It makes us whole again. Never more in bondage by Satan & his lies. Thank you for sharing your story, especially with your daughter. It will help cement a bond between you & your daughter. She can better understand why you acted how you did. By doing so you are helping many other women. It is so nice to know you aren’t the only one going through a trial. Great post! Thanks again for sharing your story.

    Blessings 🙂

  6. I saw the title of this post and was thinking, “Nah. My Kids are older. This post probably isn’t really for me.”

    And then it was.

    Thank you!!