About the Author

Author and speaker Richella Parham is proud to be married to her college sweetheart and the mom of three young adult sons. She offers readers a glimpse into her heart and her home at ImpartingGrace.com, and she is the author of Mythical Me: Finding Freedom from Constant Comparison.

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  1. Richella,
    Oh how the enemy of our souls preys upon our weaknesses. We all have an Achilles Heel and he goes for it. I have let a weakness (anxiety disorder) define me, but thankfully the truth of God’s word has overpowered the lies. They still creep in, but I kind of have a drill I put them through now. 1. Does this thought make me feel anxious? 2. Does this thought make me feel condemned? 3. When I hold this thought up to God’s TRUTH does it align with His word? If the answers are: Yes, Yes, and No, then I know that this thought is from the enemy, not God, and I need to kick the Creep and his lies to the curb. God gives me the ammunition, but I have to do the kicking in His strength. “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1). Thank you, Richella, for a moving reminder of Whose we are and letting THAT define us and not comparison.
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

  2. What a gift to find your words here today, Richella! I’m still pondering the truth of Mythical Me (such an inspired read!), and am grateful for the way you are persevering in sharing the wisdom God has impressed upon your heart.

  3. Thank you for sharing your heart today! I so appreacite it when believers are open and honest about their struggles-everyone has something, but a lot pretend they have nothing. Nothing that bothers them. Nothing that worries them. Nothing wrong with their attitude. The list could go on. And in this example nothing to offer others. We all have something, or more importantly, Someone! Someone to offer to others in their times of need and in helping those we nourish our souls and continue to serve Our Great and Mighty God who made us who we are for His Honour and His Glory!! You are wonderful!! Thank you for your help today and for your service and faithfulness. Keep on keeping on. I will add you to my weekly Prayers.

    • Lydia, aren’t you kind? Thank you so much! I appreciate your encouragement. Yes, we do all have something that plagues us–but we also have so much to offer!

      I truly appreciate your offer to add me to your weekly prayers. Actually, I’ve written a book about my long-standing struggle with comparison, and I’d so appreciate your praying for me as I seek to share that message and to deal with the new temptations to comparison that present themselves to authors. Thank you so much! Every blessing to you.

  4. ‘My own understanding was that I was defined by my defects, unlovable and unacceptable. God’s truth is that I am His beloved child, dearly loved and completely accepted.’ Thank you so very much, Richella! I so much needed to read your post today. My defects are more emotional rather than physical, but they are equally hard for me to release and believe that I am worthy of God’s love. None of us is worthy, but. He loves us anyway! Thank You, Father!

    • Yes, Barbara, you are dearly, dearly loved! God’s truth is so much better than what we may think about ourselves. I’m so glad my post spoke to you, and I so appreciate your kind words. Every blessing to you!

  5. What a powerful story, Richella. Sharing your heart and experience with us gives us the opportunity to examine our own lives to identify Achilles heels that might be tripping us when it comes to comparison. Thank you for WONDERFUL encouragement today!

  6. Richella, I love this! So many of us feel unlovable. Thanks for the reminder that God doesn’t make mistakes. We are each beautiful in our own way. Thank you!

    • So many of us are *treated* as unlovable. It can take a long time to learn that the place you belong is the place that welcomes you. But once you’ve experienced belonging, you won’t accept anything else. Knowing that God welcomes is important. As his Body in this world, we need to view one another as God does, as God’s “riches” and “glorious inheritance” (Eph. 1:18): “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know … the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.”

      • You’re right, Carlene: many of us are treated as unlovable, and it can be easy to listen to believe that we’re unlovable. But that is absolutely a lie, a tactic of the enemy of our souls. May God give us grace to accept that we are in fact loved and the courage to treat one another as lovable!

  7. The hurts of your childhood struck a real note with me. After our son was born my urologist warned me that I would not live through another pregnancy and suggested that my husband have a vasectomy immediately. We followed through on that, but I dreamed of having a daughter. So when our son was 3 we applied for adoption. After what seemed like a long wait, we got the call that they had a baby for us. We brought her home amazed at how perfect she was. By the time she was walking, we noticed a thickening on her hands and feet. Her pediatrician and none of the others in the city knew what to make of it. We were given a cream to use on it, but it did little good.
    Her genetic issue might have been fairly unnoticed, but the extra tissue acted like a sponge and had to be bleached regularly to keep it clean. When Annie was a baby I brought her with me to take her 4 year old brother to swimming lesson. Another little boy was watching and he came over to see the baby. He explained, “Gross, her hands are dirty”. She was too young to understand, but I would have liked to pick him up and throw him into the pool.
    Incidents like that occurred far too often. She became very self-conscious of her hands and feet. We kept bleaching and pumicing with little effect and using lots of Retinal A which her dermatologist prescribed. Despite many prayers this condition did not go away, however we were just learning the wonderful gift God had given her to off-set this.
    The adoption agency had little info to give us on the birth mother, just her age, that she was a college student, and that she told them that the father was a musician. We accidently discovered Annie’s talent at age 2. On Christmas Eve that year, I ran out late at night for some extra candy for stocking stuffers. While in the checkout line, I spied a little red keyboard for $5 and snatched it up to take home. It was under the tree the following morning. Annie ran to it, sat down and began playing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’. There was no piano in our home (then) and she had never had any training.
    By the time she was 5, I was finding pieces of paper with music notes written on them. A real piano came next along with lesson a few years later. Today she is a recognized pianist, composer, music teacher. She has played for churches, is presently house composer for Café Nordo, won the Gypsy Rose Lee Composition award a few years ago, and is a confident young lady. She has been a blessing in our lives and many others. Her condition as we later learned is Ichthyosis and hers is a less serious than it can be. When we filled out the adoption forms I asked for a perfect baby- and that’s what we received. God is good.

  8. Richella,
    Thank you for sharing your story so honestly! I think we can all relate to the struggle with comparison. What we often don’t realize is that the very people we are comparing ourselves to have their own stories (and fears, insecurities, etc.) that we don’t know about. I have found so much encouragement in learning the stories behind people I once thought were “perfect” and later learned were SO VERY REAL and human. It’s a topic I write about frequently on my blog because those stories inspire me so deeply! Thank you again for this encouragement.
    Blessings,
    M @ In Beautiful Chaos

  9. Richella,

    Like you I was born with a deficiency-two punctured ear drums. Did not talk till I was 3 or 4. Had speech pathology through HS. Went through three surgeries to correct the problem. Left one didn’t fix. Years later I got a hearing aid for that ear. It helped me a bunch. Nice being able to hear wind blowing. Grew up super shy. Always wanted to be someone else. Someone who didn’t have a speech problem. It took a long time for me to really like myself. Over the years I made friends. It wasn’t till after I married that I grew to feel confident & like the person I am. God doesn’t make mistakes & my mind knows that, but it took a while for it to sink into my heart. Now much later in life God has blessed me with a miracle. My left ear is healed. No more holes in ear drums. Even if it hadn’t healed I would be fine with myself. I am God’s child made in His glorious image. Nothing can change that fact!!

    Blessings 🙂

  10. Love this! You are beautiful, made in Gods image ❤️ Thank you for sharing sister!

  11. I love this!! Thank you so very much for showing your heart. I can’t help but think of the book Hinds’ Feet in High Places by Hannah Hurnard. This book is beautifully written also and is a must read for anyone struggling with believing that they are loved and beautiful. Thank you so very much

  12. Richella, I am so happy to see you on my (in)courage email! Your words are so needed by most women, I am convinced. Thank you for bringing truth to us. Your book is on my to-read-list! Can’t wait to dig in to it. Also… I’ve always thought you were beautiful! Blessings to you, dear one!