About the Author

Becky loves serving as (in)courage’s Community Manager. She is a speaker and author of No Better Mom for the Job. Becky is a huge fan of Voxer, Sunday naps, and championing women. She lives near Los Angeles and loves hiking shady trails with her husband and three spirited sons.

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  1. Becky,
    Great thought provoking post. I admit that I am guilty, too, of “tokenism.” Like you, I can run through my list of friends and relationships that involve people of a multitude of colors. I started a Christian school in Pakistan so I should get 5 stars for that, right? I think you nailed it with these two words: “humbly listen.” I have been having conversations with my black friends and I’ve been asking and then shutting my mouth and listening. This is what takes the emphasis off me and makes the dynamic “others focused.” I’ve still got a long way to go. Thanks for giving us words to chew on and act upon.
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • I’m right there with you, Bev. 2020 will forever be seared in our memories for so many reasons. I pray it’s the year we learned how to be humble listeners will be one of them. Grateful for you. -Becky

  2. If saved let do what Jesus would want us to do be the church. Not be racis. We are the Church not the big fancy building with nice stain glass windows etc. The Church is the people who are saved who love all people of all walks of life. As a kid a song I learnt at Sunday School when small. It relevant for today as Adult. It is “Jesus loves all the Children Of The World Red And Yellow Black And White” We are to do the same. If I don’t have kids. But was registered Childminder for 19 years. I looked after we boy with light brown skin. I with all the other kids I had in my care were white skin. We all in him and the kids got on with the we boy with I looked after with light brown skin. We passed no remarks on his skin color. Nor did the kids in my care. Like the song you get it on YouTube. We as Adults should do the same love all people especially if saved. Do what Jesus would see them from the heart beyond their skin color. Love them for who they are. When I said this many times. Is when in Hospital you don’t care what color skin the Doctor or Nurse is as long as they make you well again. So why be racis. Even in our thinking by saying things what are they doing here. We don’t know what they are doing here. They might just want a better life for themselves and their families. Who are we judge. God showed me we should just Pray for them love them like Jesus did when on earth. He wanted to be with people no one else wanted to be with. People when we read our. Bible gave of about it said what he doing with them. He was just showing them love and kindness. Let us especially if saved do the same. Not judge or talk about them for any reason. Jesus love them the same way he loves us. Let us do the same. Thank you again for another excellent reading xxx

  3. So well put. I’m also guilty of this tokenism. It was so easy to compare myself to those around me who were openly racist and feel good that I wasn’t like that. I am truly thankful that 2020 is very much a year of activism. In watching the memorializing of John Lewis and C.T. Vivian I am reminded that James calls on us to put actions with our words. More and more the life of Jesus and his disciples rings out for us to model more selflessness and understanding with love as the core of our being. I pray that I will be up to the task of loving others in all walks of life.

    • Well said, Jayne. Thank you for these words and your heart to love in action. Since January I’ve seen people saying 2020 is the year of clearer vision. May this be ever true in the way we examine our own hearts and SEE people as they truly are–God’s image bearers, worthy of our love, protection, and respect.

  4. Thank you for your words here. I know that I have a lot of growing to do too, both in healing from racism and not being racist myself! I have to admit at times I’ve had doubts about this community’s interactions and whether I wanted to continue in it, and it means a lot to hear this from you, the community manager. May we all follow in Christ’s example of love ❤️

    • Adora, I really appreciate your comment. Thank you for choosing to read and engage here. I’m really glad you’re here! My prayer is that (in)courage continues to be a place where we can come and share our stories, lean in and really listen to one another, and engage in thoughtful and respectful ways as we point one another to the hope of Christ.

  5. I would implore all of us to keep that minority group of Individuals and families with intellectual, mental or physical disabilities in their mind at this time. Most churches don’t reach out to this population and haven’t for the 2000 years that the Church has been in existence. The gallop poll consistently reports that 20% of people in United States have some kind of disability. Their lives matter too. Especially in this pandemic most of them do not have Internet access or smart phones and so they are even more isolated than ever.

    • That’s a good reminder, Kathi. Jesus always had his eye out for the marginalized and forgotten. May we seek ways to love all people as He did!

  6. Amen. My mother in law and I just had this conversation in the past hour. Praying that God continues to peel away the scales from our eyes and ears so we can be part of the solution

  7. I am NOT going to play this “systemic racism” game currently going on in our Country; nor am I going to support anything having to with the push in our culture today for social identity politics. I am tired to death of feeling like all of a sudden I have to “apologize” for the fact that God made my skin white, and my roots German. And I would appreciate if i InCourage refrained from this as well. I have found the increasing nuances in this regard in our daily devotionals disturbing and insulting. I prefer we focus on God’s word and what Jesus has to say to us. Let us remember that God created us ALL!!!! In His Image!!! Red, and Yellow, Black and White — as we used to sing in Sunday School as little ones. I don’t go around, as a Christian, hating others because of the color of their skin.

    • Dear Wendy,

      I hear a lot of anger and frustration in your words. That’s a hard place to be, sister. I feel for you. I wish I could know your whole story and all the past hurt and misunderstandings that I imagine linger under your comment. With as much compassion I would show a real-life friend, I want to respectfully address the things you’ve stated.

      First, systemic racism is not a game, it’s a reality (and too deep to unpacked in a brief comment). But calling it a game is hurtful to those who suffer from it. Second, as a fellow white woman who is the writer of this article and a representative of (in)courage, nobody here is asking you to apologize for being white. You are absolutely right that we are ALL made in God’s image! We all reflect different aspects of His beauty and creativity. Acknowledging that brothers and sisters of color have long been denied equality is not an indictment on our own God-given identity; it’s a call to live and love as Jesus did, which was by speaking and standing up for the oppressed. (If you don’t recognize the oppression happening to individuals and groups of people in this country, I encourage you to look and listen harder.)

      If you prefer we focus on God’s Word and what Jesus has to say to us, you’re in the right place! We do that here at (in)courage every day. I keep reading the verses from Philippians and James and I shared above because I need to remember the truth of God’s Word. My hope in vulnerably sharing my own personal experience about becoming aware of how I have wrongly viewed and treated people of color was to invite others to examine their own hearts and thought patterns as well. This article and others like it here at (in)courage are invitations, not accusations.

      So Wendy, please know that you are invited and welcomed here. You don’t have to agree with every article you read. That’s the beauty of this community — we each have the freedom to pull up a chair with our own unique perspectives. But know that the writers of (in)courage will continue to share their personal stories (which will sometimes involve issues of racism) while pointing each other to the hope of Christ.

      In Him,

      Becky Keife
      (in)courage Community Manager

      • Becky thanks for your gracious response. As a Black woman I understand the initial frustration of the writer but I do not agree with it. I can imagine it must be hard this sudden awakening in Christian circles. So imagine how I feel. Why did it take everyone so long to wake up to the reality of racism that affects every facet of our lives, especially in the church?
        When confronted with the impact of racism it’s not only a personal response that’s necessary ( which is what we’re inundated with in the past weeks) but necessary actions by the collective body to right this wrong.
        This is where we are now and hope it’s the start of change systemically and within the body of Christ.

        • Nylse, thank you for adding this important perspective to the conversation. Yes, racism isn’t new for you and other Black and brown people of color. You’ve been carrying the burden for a long, long time. I’m nodding along with what you’re saying. A personal response is a good first step in anti-racism work, but it’s not the only step. This is not just justice work or political work or social work — this is kingdom work! May it begin with us. xx

  8. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Becky. I appreciate you sharing not only your story, but your personal & professional plan of action towards anti-racism.

    As someone who has been the “token” in the room many times, I am thankful for those who are willing to take the steps to do better with their platforms.

    I’ve been a little withdrawn from (in)courage platform because I didn’t always feel that it was relatable to my needs.

    I’m glad I read this post today and will
    be paying more attention to the (in)courage platform going forward.

    Blessings to you, Becky, and the rest of the team.

    • Sabrina, I’m so glad you’re here and that this article was meaningful to you. I deeply appreciate your affirmation and support. Know better, do better, right? By God’s grace, one day at a time. You are not a token here, friend. We need you and we want you. Grateful to learn together. xx

  9. Becky, thank you for sharing your story, for your vulnerability, and your willingness to be a learner. It’s a beautiful thing and it gives courage and hope to many. Grateful for you.

    • Grateful for you too, Tasha. I love how Lucretia Berry often reminds us to pray for the learners. That’s definitely me. And I’m praying for us all.

  10. Becky,

    Racism has been around since the dawn of time. Jews were superior to Samaritans, Hitler hated Jews, etc. God has commanded that we love everyone-no matter the race, color or creed. In God’s eyes none of us is superior to another. As Christians we need to be Christlike & loving. That being said we need to open our ears & listen to others. Have the hard conversations about race. Find out what is going on & how others are being treated. For me I knew racism was out there, but never really gave it much thought. I live in a predominantly white rural part of Upper E. TN. Go to the local university & you will find people of all races. Middle Eastern, & Chinese students are on the rise over here. We must be cognizant of their background. The easiest way to do that is to ask questions & listen. Get the conversations going. Thank you for sharing your personal story.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Ask questions and listen. Yes, Beth, that’s such a powerful place to start in loving others and embracing both our similarities and differences.

  11. This was so good. So thought provoking. Racism is not something that I could ever understand, My father, a pastor, brought us up to believe that there is no race but the human race, and I was always surrounded by people of many colors.
    As I grew into adulthood and started to look around at the real world, I began to notice a different feeling about things.
    Your words have caused me to sit up and take notice
    So thank you!

  12. Thank you for this post, for your honesty, vulnerability and for speaking truth. It is super encouraging to read this and hopeful for the future. I am so excited that I found in Courage and how the women have all spoken their stories to our lives. I am excited to listen to the future conversations. Again thank you for have honest and REAL conversations about race and racism. A breath of fresh air!

  13. Wow!
    Thank you for vulnerably sharing your learning and growth journey. While listening is important, I strongly believe that humility and vulnerability make the growing process more attractive and less scary. Thank you for modeling this for those who are willing to lean in and learn from you.

    I think about how your boys are watching you, and experiencing your brilliance in this way.
    I am hopeful for the future!

    Shalom,
    LCB

  14. Becky, thank you for being so honest, vulnerable and also bold in challenging us (as white people) to stop focusing on ourselves and listen to our friends of color who have been mistreated for decades and deeply hurt by racism in our country and our local communities. Im asking the Lord to help me learn, listen, lament and look for the next steps of action He wants me to take. I believe we all have a role to play in changing systems and laws that give us privilege our friends of color do not have. Honesty and conviction like you’ve shared here is a first step.