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  1. Dear Xochitl,
    Your beautiful words have touched my heart. These paragraphs below are powerful and I’m going to keep praying that we can as a nation begin to have hard conversations without hate but as you wrote with grace. Thank you and God bless.❤
    “Hard conversations seasoned with grace..We can hear one another and even disagree with one another with respect and compassion, not the kind of tolerance that assumes “differences” must be swallowed like sour milk.”

    • Thank you for those sweet words of loving encouragement, Kathleen. As sisters in Christ continue to connect on the (in)courage blog, I am hopeful. I look forward to growing with you, Sister! To God be the glory, the honor, and the praise!

  2. Word hurt they can hurt. A lot and especially if a mum and it too your son. People can be so hurt full with words they don’t seem to care what they say. Especially if not saved more so. I not a Mum. Never will be. But I love kids. I was just to scared to have kids. I love kids and am saved. I was Registered Childminder for 19 years. I taught kids I looked after to love kids of skin color. As I looked after a we boy with brown skin in my time. The other kids had white skin. They all loved him passed no remarks on his skin color. They all loved him. It reminds me of Song I was taught at Sunday School when small. It is so true for us saved and unsaved today. I would not like to be the unsaved. Today when they say hurt full things to people especially kids. Or the Saved sometimes. As words hurt. It takes longer for kids to forget and heal. The song you get it on YouTube it is “Be Careful Little Eyes What You See Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say There Is A Father Up Above Who Is Watching” The words I have written there now about the song might not be in the right order. Or all of them. But it is a true song for Kids and us Adults today saved and unsaved to take head too. As there is Father up above called God who see everything we do. God will not let us away with be cruel to People or Kids. So we especially if claim to be saved have to very careful what we say that comes out from our mouths. Not be Rasic at all. We should be loving caring and kind to all people no matter what Skin Color any one has. As our words can hurt. We if have been hurt by something someone has said to us or if have a child said to them have to teach them to pray if saved to forgive that person. Tell them Jesus see what they do. Jesus will deal with that person. Tell the Child all that matters is what Jesus thinks about them. Not the person saying the nasty things. We if having nasty things said to us if saved are to do the same. As it say that in the word of God the Bible. If don’t do this it will only eat us up. We will never get over it. The Old Devil will have the last laugh. That is one thing we don’t want to do. Love today’s reading. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx

    • Oh, sweet sister Dawn, it sounds like you are a spiritual mother! Praise be to God for blessing those precious little ones with your love and compassion. Thanks for sharing your heart and reminding us how vital it is for us to forgive as we have been forgiven by our Lord Jesus Christ. Hallelujah! I love how you mentioned the power of the tongue and how deeply our words can wound. Lord, please give us wisdom, strength, self-control, and the hearts of peacemakers as we speak with love and extend mercy with our words, our tones, our attitudes, and our actions. Help us seek reconciliation not revenge when we’re hurt by words. And help us be quick to recognize when we use hurtful words so that we can repent and turn away from the sin that so easily entangles us. Make us more like You, Jesus, so we can live for You and love like You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  3. Beautifully written and so true. Thank you for sharing. Taking a quick moment to pray blessing and protection over your family specifically and our beautifully diverse Church family all over the world. Come, Lord Jesus, and as we wait, may we be purposeful to live in anticipation of the racial wholeness we hope for.

    • Hallelujah! Thank you for taking us to the throne with bold faith in prayer, Marian. What a lovely reminder for us to live with Kingdom Vision, to see beyond our personal space and rejoice in the Global Church God has created and designed to work as one body under One Lord. To God be the glory! Your prayer for protection over my family brought me to tears, Sister. I love you and am standing with you in prayer.

  4. Thank you, Xochitl, for your powerful words and gracious testimony today. We need to hear more from you.

  5. Xochitl, thank you for pointing out and explaining how damaging a well-intentioned (we’ll assume the best) remark can be. I’m glad for Hagar’s declaration that our God sees us. Each of us. May God strengthen and sustain your family.

    • Hallelujah! God sees us! God hears us! God is with us! And yes, Pearl, it is so important for us to “assume the best.” Thanks for your loving blessing, Sister. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for us as we move forward in love together.

    • Amen! You are so right, Michele. We have a “long and slow road” ahead of us. But what a blessing it is to know we are not alone! Hallelujah! Your statement moved me to tears, hopeful tears of gratitude. I thank God for your partnership in sharing the Gospel as we love God and others with Spirit-empowered courage and compassion . . . even when the road feels too-long and too-hard. I love you and am praying with you, Sister.

    • Sweet Sister, I love your tender heart and teared up as I read your words. Yes, Lord Jesus, please help us “do better and love more like” You! We can do nothing without You, Lord. Thanks for assuring us that we’re not alone. You are with us and You are building us up in loving community so we can walk by faith together. What a glorious day it will be when we look back to see how far You have brought us, how much You have changed us, how deeply You have loved us with Your healing mercy. May Your name be glorified and Your power magnified as we live for You and love like You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  6. As we face challenges we must also face the principles of injustice that all must fight to change. In order to realize we are One Nation Under God, we all must commit to change seasoned with grace.

    If we don’t know, ask, if we are on the sidelines become involved. To change the world we all have to want to change. Every single person plays an important role. Great share, thanks for doing your part.

    • This is my supportive husband, Sisters. 🙂 Alan, I appreciate your ongoing support as we serve the Lord together. I love you and am grateful God blessed our sons with you as their father. Thanks for sharing your heart.

      • ❤️ Thanking Jesus for the gifts He has bestowed upon you. Prayers that this message continues to permeate our moral fiber. May our actions reflect the love of Christ. Come Lord Jesus . Much love to you all.

  7. I grew up in a totally white rural farm community with a family history steeped in racism. I had no people of color in any of my schools. The first person to person interaction with anyone with a different skin color than mine was when I was 27. Throughout my life I have made an effort not to pass on my family’s views to my children or inflict them on anyone else. I even thought things were getting better in my community. That changed when my daughter married a black man and we became aware of just how deep racism can run. They have faced the racial slurs, the bullying, the anger, the hate. They had to have “the talk” with my grandson on how to act when pulled over by a police office. Both he and his father were pulled over for “driving while black”. My son-in-law was arrested and physically assaulted by an officer because he looked like another black man. These things made me more aware of cultural, systemic and institutional racism then most of my family and friends. I thought I had a great handle on it and sprouted the “I’m colorblind” mantra when the company I work for started an inclusiveness program 5 years ago. It has been a painful journey that has produced wonderful fruit. The road to individual discovery can be unpleasant – I found that as much as I denied the biases of my parents they would pop into my head uninvited. I could not push them back down and expect them to disappear. They had to be pulled out into the light one by one, examined, debunked and destroyed. I used to be afraid to talk about racial issues because it is such a painful issue. I now know that only through honest, compassionate conversations can I truly grow into the open, loving women God wants me to be. I love the learning process even when I stumble and have to be challenged. I pray that we will become a world that celebrates our wonderfully made differences while being truly inclusive – I want a better world for my grandchildren. I thank you for your honesty and keep you and your family in my prayers.

    • Sandy, I am hugging you with prayers! Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony! I’m so sorry your family has experienced such heartache, Sister. I love how you wrote that you couldn’t push “the biases” down and “expect them to disappear,” but that they had to “be pulled out into the light one by one.” Oh, what a glorious and compassionate God we serve! I am singing, “Hallelujah,” as I praise the Lord for His mighty work of transformation and for the proof that love—the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ–will overcome hate. I, too, want a better world for my grandchildren, Sister. I’m thanking God for assuring us that we are not walking this road alone. I’m praying for your family and praising God for the ways He’s already made our world a better place through the loving relationships in your home.

  8. Thank you, dear Xochi, for your powerful testimony — offered straight from your family’s real life, home and heart. Your courage and skill to speak truth with love and insight are priceless. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. For many, you moved a mountain today. (As well, Dan and I were also deeply blessed by your devotional today at Our Daily Bread.) Keep pressing, serving and teaching. Onward!

    • Patricia, you have been a wonderful friend/sister and mentor to me. Thank you for loving us. We thank God for you and Dan. We miss you both. I’m praying for us as we move forward with Spirit-empowered courage and confidence, writing and speaking with loving compassion in obedience and fearless faith in the One who binds us together in His perfect and selfless love. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I’m hugging you in my heart, phenomenal woman of God!

  9. I’m sorry you, your family, and so many other people have had to deal with this terrible prejudice. This is the 21st century and it’s time we all got over judging people by the color of their skin.

  10. Beautifully said, Xochi. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is especially powerful for those of us who have not experienced this and are confused by all that is happening in the world. Hang in there my friend and I know that you will keep speaking according to your calling. The Lord is so good and I see His power in you greatly.

    • What a beautiful word of encouragement, Kristen. Thanks for speaking life into me, Sister. To God be the glory! I am so grateful we are on this journey together, trusting the Lord to do His mighty work of love and grace in our lives so we can learn to love Him and others better. Hallelujah!

  11. Thank you for this powerful message. Of course God sees color! That’s one of the many ways He has created and blessed us. How boring and drab life would be if He had not brought color into being! What He does not do is discern or judge one color better than any other, and we, humans, should do the same! We desperately need compassion and love to recognize and celebrate our differences and our similarities. Open the eyes of your people, Lord! God bless!

    • Hallelujah! Mary, I wanted to get up and sing with you as I read your message. “Open the eyes of Your people, Lord!” Hallelujah! Mighty and merciful Maker and Sustainer of all, please make us more like You so we can love like You. Give us Your eyes to see with grace-tinted lenses and an eternal perspective. Give us Your words so we can speak truth in love, with Spirit-empowered wisdom and courage and faith. Guide us as You align our hearts with Yours, Lord. We rejoice in Your sovereign goodness and creativity. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  12. Thank you for sharing your heart in the article, Xochi. I can relate to your experience as a woman of color who’s raising a boy in America. Your article was a blessing to me!

    • Thanks for your encouragement, Mabel. I love you and your beautiful family. I’m so grateful for the ways He’s using you to spread His love in your community in-person and online, Sister. Lord God, may Your people unite in love and peace. Help us learn to work together as You intended when You designed Your beautifully diverse Global church. Help us value each other as Your image-bearers and serve You with Kingdom Vision and an eternal perspective. Speak to us clearly as we teach our children to live for You and love like You, leading by example as we surrender to the Holy Spirit and live in loving obedience in every aspect of our lives . . . even when it’s hard or uncomfortable or inconvenient. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  13. Xochitl,

    Thank you for sharing your story. I’m trying to be better about leaving comments after I read a post. Seriously, your story touched me. As a white woman, my eyes have been opened in recent weeks to the way that systemitized (sp?) racism was put into place. It makes me sad and angry. I think what has been put into place in terms of laws and policies will take time to be removed. BUT, that being said, I think that real reconciliation can happen with individual relationships, true conversation, and true listening. My prayer is that we can learn how to address racism by making friends across the races.

    Thank you again for sharing. I love your heart, and I’m glad that you’re a new writer for (in)courage.

    • Jennifer, I am so grateful you reached out by leaving a comment. I love how you noted the value of genuine relationship-building. I agree that “real reconciliation can happen with individual relationships, true conversation, and true listening.” Hallelujah! As we love one another intentionally, celebrating our differences and our sameness as God’s beautifully diverse and purposefully connected people, we will thrive as a community of believers and reach more with the love of Jesus. To God be the glory, the honor, and the praise, praise, praise! I appreciate your encouragement. I am a guest writer for (in)courage, but am so grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given to share my heart with you. I praise the Lord for all He is doing in and through the ministry of (in)courage. I hope we can connect again. Until then, standing with you in prayer, Sister.

  14. As I read what you shared I could feel my heart break because just a little before I saw a video of a black women who works for customs as a federal agent and how she has been stopped and targeted for being black. I am not black, but I am Puerto Rican and if you know a little of our race we are multi colored. I love when I look at my family and see all the different skin tones and how beautiful each one is. I grew up in New York in a multi racial environment which helped me learn, accept, and love the rich cultures from all my friends. I too can be blind because I have a tendency to not look at color but rather just the person I have before me. I love how God sees us, all created different, unique but each loved with the same passion. We live in a fallen world. If only we could learn from nature, full of such a different array of animals, flowers, etc, yet each beautiful and each contributes in their unique way so that all functions in natural harmony. Like the song says, What a wonderful world this would be! My heart and prayers for all black, Latinos, Asian and other minorities who are looked down upon just for not having the right color or origin which others have decided are unacceptable because they don’t fit in to their standards. These are very sad times we are living.

    • Thanks for sharing your story, Miriam. I, too, have a beautifully diverse family. I am a first generation Mexican American, a daughter of immigrants. I have struggled with feelings of worthlessness, desperate to find a place to belong and never feeling like I fit in anywhere. I love how the Lord created each of us with intentional diversity and purpose. Living in a fallen world makes us forget that we are better together, that we are designed to need God and each other as we serve Him by working together. My heart goes out to all people because we are all missing out on the beauty God intended for His Global Church. It will definitely be a “wonderful world” when we learn to love like Jesus in all circumstances.

      Lord Almighty, thank You for assuring us that we are loved simply because we are Yours. Help us represent You as Your image-bearers, loving with Your heart, speaking with Your words, and hearing with Your ears. Empower us to speak truth in love with respect and listen to learn so we can love one another better. Please help us recognize the value of diversity and how You intended to enrich our lives as we learn to work in unity and peace. Help us to nurture healthy and holy relationships with You and others, to serve one another and live with an eternal perspective.

      Please comfort Miriam’s tender heart and fill her with Spirit-empowered courage as she continues living for You and loving like You. Heal our hearts and renew our thinking so we can be in alignment with You as we work toward racial reconciliation, Lord, no matter how difficult the road ahead seems. May Your name be glorified and Your power magnified as we honor You with our words, our thoughts, our attitudes, and our actions, building bridges instead of tearing one another down in fear of being vulnerable and exposed. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  15. Dear sister Xochitl,
    Thank you for writing this beautiful post. I am sorry about what you and your family have endured. As a Nigerian-American woman who was the first person born in the United States almost 40 years ago, I empathize with you and your family. Years ago, I made a decision to make sure no person, place or thing went ahead of God. I am a Christian first and everything else is second. All of us have a responsibility to come up higher in God. We also have a responsibility to tell the truth.1 Corinthians 12 talks about the body of Christ and if any part of the body is hurt or misunderstood, the body cannot fully function well. So right now it is imparative as a world that we have honest conversations of healing, understanding and restoration. I thank God for giving you the wisdom and courage to write this authentic piece. May God continue to use you for his glory and expand your platform.

    • Thank you for those beautiful words of encouragement, Sister! To God be the glory! I love how you wrote: “I am a Christian first and everything else is second.” Hallelujah! You are so right! We need honest conversations and a willingness to listen with the intent to learn and love better.

      Mighty and merciful God, please help us live for You. Help us keep You first in every aspect of our lives. Help us love with Your heart as we see with Your eyes, speak with Your words, and hear with Your ears. Help us extend grace as abundantly as we pray You will have grace showering over us. Make us more like You, Jesus, so we can represent You in and through every relationship You help us build on this side of eternity. May Your name be glorified in and through these precious moments You’ve entrusted to us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  16. Xochitl, what a joy to have your words here on (in)courage this week! Thank you for sharing your story with grace and truth. I’m so sorry for the things your family has endured. At the same time I’m grateful for your willingness to give voice to racism and injustice while calling out the hope we have in our Creator God who made humanity in every hue–on purpose, for a purpose. Praying for better tomorrows. Much love to you.

  17. Xochitl,

    We need to have hard conversations-especially with our children. Reminding them that words hurt. Teaching them to love everyone no matter how they look-Asian, European, black, white, etc. I feel hatred is taught. Young children usually love everyone no matter what. They never met anyone they didn’t like. Show them how to love others via words, actions & attitudes. No one should have to face the kind of injustice that people of color deal with. People need to stop being so biased & uncaring. Praying for everyone in this tumultuous time.

    Blessings 🙂

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