She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
Genesis 16:13 (NIV)
Life changes I hadn’t seen coming knocked the wind out of me, and I’m short of breath, trying to make sense of the misunderstandings and buried resentments, straining to imagine a future where things don’t hurt so much between my husband and me.
The changes have exposed the complicated knots that have formed over the course of our marriage from the lack of clear communication and intentional efforts to know one another, and I stand in a sea of bitterness and rage, anger and unforgiveness, resentment and a faltering faith that things will get better.
I wonder how two people so different from each other can make it work. How do we find a way through the tangle of differences that personality, family background, communication style, and love languages create?
I’m desperate to be known, to be heard, to have the burden shared, but I know it’s not easy for others to enter into pain. I see the discomfort on my friends’ faces when I open the door to my unending crisis and see them looking around at the mess, not sure what to say. They try to offer suggestions for why it might be. They ask pertinent and helpful — though tiring — questions. They try to comfort me with “at least” statements, wanting to tether me to the silver lining, but instead of feeling known, I feel even more unseen, nearly invisible.
The unresolved tensions in my life are too heavy to bear, so I close the door to my mess, letting my friends off the hook and comforting them by saying that things will get better for me.
The vulnerability hangover and the weight of holding everyone else’s discomfort make me want to hide in a little corner and curl up like a child. I pull a blanket of silence around me, and in this quiet place I wrestle with God, with the gospel, with what it means to love and die in this commitment of marriage. I cry out and beg, “Do You see me, God?” and I get wrecked by His gentle response of love, by His holding me like no one else can.
I wish the years of hurt could be touched and healed by God with the zap of a lightning bolt. I wish I could labor through the pain with an epidural and come to a place of relief as quickly as others would like me to, as quickly as I would like to. But is resurrection even possible when what needs to die hasn’t finished dying yet?
Like the browning and falling of leaves in autumn, there’s a process to the dying, and it will not be rushed. Everything that has been in our marriage is being put through the fire, and what needs to die must die for new life to eventually be brought forth.
And is this not the way of Christ? Dying is part of life in Him. It was the way He chose to bridge the gap between us, the way He chose to love us.
He understands this way of death and the process of becoming, and He does not need the mess to be cleaned up before He will sit with us. Instead, He walks with us in the dark, guiding us to the light of hope, and He assures us along the way, “I see you, I know you, and I love you.”
God, even when it seems that no one can or wants to understand my pain, You already know. You have been in that dark place before. You understand the wait, the longing, and the breakthrough that new life can bring, so I pray the same for this hard place in marriage when things feel hopeless and so lonely. Be with me, and I pray for the strength to keep going. Amen.
Written by Grace P. Cho, as published in Take Heart: 100 Devotions to Seeing God When Life’s Not Okay
Our newest devotional, Take Heart: 100 Devotions to Seeing God When Life’s Not Okay, is full of stories of women sharing from the depth of their pain and struggle when life wasn’t okay. Each day includes a Scripture passage, a devotion, and a prayer that will encourage your heart no matter what you’re walking through. Take Heart is now available for purchase, and we are so excited for this book to land in your hands!
And to continue our celebration of its release, we’re giving away FIVE Take Heart gift bundles!
Just leave a comment on this post, and you’ll be entered to win a bundle that includes a copy of Take Heart, the Take Heart journal, and a Take Heart shirt.
*Giveaway open to US residents only. Closes at 11:59pm Central on 11/3/2020. Winners will be notified via email.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
“Dying is part of life in Him [Christ].” As believers we are told, in scripture, that we will need to take up our cross and follow Christ. We will also have to partipate in Christ’s suffering. The world and the people in it will reject us, just as Christ was rejected, but because He walked that lonely road, He sees us and knows our pain in our acute seasons of suffering. He draws near with His unfathomable love. Beautiful!
Grace P. Cho says
Thank you, Bev. Yes, In suffering, we are drawn to His love.
This Devo is so real and vulnerable… and relatable. Thank you for reminding my heart that God sees me.
Grace, thank you for these words. I have been in a difficult marriage for over 30 years and I thought this summer that a miracle had happened in our marriage but the same patterns that have been the problem have reared their ugly heads again. I too, feel unloved, desperately lonely, unseen, misunderstood and forgotten. Your words remind me that Gods is with me and sees the pain and struggle. God bless you for sharing your heart.
We are not used to taking life slowly – the world says rush, heal fast, sort it, move on. God works slower and this was such a beautiful and honest reminder of that. Thank you for being so vulnerable and allowing others to see that they are truly not alone, someone does understand.
This spoke to me as I’m in a similar spot…not feeling seen for two decades of marriage and wondering what the way forward is. Thank you for your words. They helped me feel less alone and gave me hope!
Grace P. Cho says
I feel both seen and known by you all sharing about your own unseen-ness in your marriages. I’m praying for breakthrough for us all, for us to know how to love ourselves well, and for God to redeem what has not been good in our marriages.
You always speak to my heart. I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time in your marriage. Infertility and pregnancy loss makes me feel invisible and alone too. I find comfort knowing God holds me in His hand, but I still pray daily for that peace beyond understanding. There is a book called the power of a praying wife that helped me get through my first year of marriage amd I highly recommend it.
God has definitely been the only constant presence in my messes of life.
Your messages are so uplifting and speak right to my heart. I feel like someone is sitting right there with me understanding exactly how I feel and helping me feel closer to God. Thank you so much for all you do!
Grace P. Cho says
I love that. Thanks for sharing, Trina!
“I see you, I know you, I love you.” Powerful words. I’d love to read more!
Jamie Lee Orth says
I have longed for more encouragement and advice out there for wives who are living in unequally yoked or just difficult marriages. This was such a comfort to read. Thank you!
Grace P. Cho says
We see you, Jamie!
We serve a God who only wants to love us even in our darkest moments. Thank you for sharing with those of us who struggle in our own marriages and wonder how this gulf happened and how it can ever be closed. Have faith that God is near.
Michele Morin says
I have dat with God in a good many messes. He doesn’t always resolve them to my specifications, but I am learning to trust his love.
Michele Morin says
Marjorie J Lavender says
So very sorry for all that you are enduring. God is good and he’s got you……
Nikki Kanode says
Wow! Know so many as well as I struggling in many areas of my life. I’m sure this would be a great devotion to help keep your mind clear and seeking God daily. Surrendering all the pain, bitterness and anxiety to Him that can change and restore!!
Thank you for ‘real’ posts that help us feel seen. Sometimes when I feel alone I feel I’m the only one who feels this way and no one would understand! I appreciate the encouragement!
Brenda Stapleton says
As I read this post, I thought of all the women that could raise their hands in relating to their own marriage situation. I, for one, can after 45 years of marriage. I know the faithfulness of God, and I also know all the emotions you described. I think the hardest part is all the negative thoughts that bombard our minds. Recognizing them for what they are and their destructiveness and replacing them with His Word and prayer is the path I have chosen. Thank you for this timely post.
Laura R. says
This is so timely! I hear and feel your pain! I was having the same feelings last night as I sat on my couch and cried. I know I was not alone and woke up this morning feeling God’s presence. I hope you continue finding comfort in Him as well.
Thank you for sharing. Oh, how I relate….But it’s so uplifting to be reminded that Christ sees me and understands my 30+ years of marriage. I’m not alone after all.
Thank you again
I literally just spent last night crying over my 17 year marriage. . . For what it is and what it is not. And waking up to read this, I felt like someone has read my thoughts and published them! That feeling of wishing God would just zap and make everything better, that everyone is looking at me like I should be better by now. But I’m not. I was the young Christian girl who got pregnant (shame and guilt there), who then married an unbeliever (more guilt), and then he went on to be unfaithful with multiple women for the first 10 years of our marriage (more shame and humiliation). Though he says he’s saved now I still doubt. I don’t see the fruit I thought I’d see. Some days I feel I’ve gotten over it but this week I just want to scream. I feel like something has been stolen from me. Like I don’t get to be his ONLY person. I find myself wondering if it keeps them up at night what they did to me? Do they constantly have to overcome these stumbling blocks to spend time with their significant other? I am broken. I want to be whole but how? I can never undo what’s been done. 17 years and 5 children later, I still feel like that vulnerable girl. All I can cling to is the thought of “but Jesus”. And boy do I long for Him right now!
Kassie Prather says
God knows the sting of an unfaithful spouse—His heart breaks constantly throughout the Old Testament as His people commit spiritual adultery, chasing after other gods. I wish I could give you a glimpse of your Father’s smile over you. He takes your face in His hands and says, “Baby girl, come sit with Me for a while,” rubs your back, and kisses your forehead. A day is coming when all sad things come untrue and all hurts are healed. Until then, you are never in the darkness alone. He who has called you is faithful.
Sweet sister. The guesthouse project.com is a place to go to feel beauty and experience a moment to breathe in your journey. Such a difficult path.
Sandy Flesner says
This looks like an amazing resource, so thankful.
Rhonda Fesperman says
I have also been in such dark places that living life has had no meaning to me. Thank you for sharing this devotion today.
Rhonda N. says
Rhonda, I am praying for you! God is holding you and has purpose and a plan for your life! I’ll be praying God’s light will shine in those dark places and give you peace. He is our hope.
Love, Rhonda N.
Thank you for speaking into the pain that I have felt for the last few years. You even asked the same question, God, do you even see me? I love my husband, but hurt and resentment have become the pavement that I feel I walk on instead of a cushion or path of love. Thank you for reminding me that I am seen by the one who loves me and can make my love grow again.
Your words really touched my heart! I can relate on so many levels, especially about opening the door to your (our) mess with friends looking in, but not knowing what to say.
I have a tendency to keep the door of my messes closed, but I don’t think it’s really to let my friends and family off the hook. They would want to be supportive, and I’m sure they would offer encouragement and well meaning advice. But, once the door opens, I wouldn’t be able to undo what they’ve seen. Some part of me doesn’t share it because they can’t relate – they aren’t living in my mess. They can’t possibly understand or empathize the way Jesus can. I so agree with you, He doesn’t need our messes to be cleaned up first, and He is there to walk with us.
Thank you for sharing with us and opening the door to your heart. I’m praying for you!
Cindy L Richter says
I have walked where this women is. I would love to feel someone out there is or has experienced what I am going through. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God truly loves me. BUT I often struggle with the emotional baggage that I can’t seem to get out from under. I pray these devotionals will help me see that I am not alone and that I can feel God’s arms around me to help.
Laura Dieguez says
This hits home… on June 5th, after 25 years of marriage, I asked my husband to leave. After years of trying to make things work (on my end only it seems), and prayer… I’ve noticed my home is happy now, my child and I have a sense of calm that we hadn’t had in a long time, so I know God answered, just not in the way I had expected.
Grace P. Cho says
Laura, that is a hard thing and though it wasn’t in the way you had expected, I love hearing that your home is happy now.
Bethany Ulsh says
this is/was my life… redemption, restoration, healing.. laying down, resting in, trusting as I am guided by Him
WoW! You just wrote the story of the 27 years of my entire marriage. Every line of your post perfectly communicates the words that I could never express, let alone put in print. Thank you for your bravery!
The loneliness, sadness, anger bitterness, shame and guilt of carrying these feelings have caused tremendous emotional turmoil and physical pains that are hard to ignore.
I know we were never designed to carry this alone and I too have cried out to God many,
many times over the struggles and have yet to experience the breakthrough I desperately need. This has caused me question my faith as well.
Just know that your are not alone in the waiting and your transparency has touched my life!
What a great devotional! People dealing with the same thing we deal with daily. Truth being shared.
This book sounds amazing. So many trials we all have faced. Once again I am on a new journey that has been a trial but has caused me to stop dead in my tracks and sit at Jesus’s feet first above all else instead of being on the 900 mile train doing and going. Kidney failure, dialysis, colon an intestinal surgery, infection on my heart valve that traveled to my neck eating away C4, C5, C6 vertebrae —had to have extensive neck surgery with fusion and bone grafting. Many restrictions and daily trials, but God has provided and answered every single prayer…blessing me every day! I truly do not know what the future holds, but have to trust God’s plan for me and how He wants too use me.
Thank you for your daily devotionals and emails….I cant wait to open them each day!
Kassie Prather says
Girl, this is straight-up Brené Brown immersed in the gospel. Thank you, sweet sister!
A very timely devotional book. We can all use a good dose of comfort along with reminders of God’s presence and love at a time where we are more physically isolated from friends and family.
Gayle Jones says
I Believe it is important to acknowledge our pain even though we know God is going through it with us. It is good to know that God is with us and is the master healer of all. I am sure this book will help hundreds of people who need to be reminded they are not alone.
I was on the launch team for this book release, but I would love to have a hard copy! What an amazing way to view your marriage, Grace. I wish I would’ve done the same when I had my issues with my own. Thank you for another opportunity to win!
Connie Johnson says
Oh my goodness! This was like a gut punch!!! I felt as though someone had been reading my diary! NOT about my husband and myself necessarily, but about the deaths I’ve experienced in the past 8 years….13 total and all family members, including my Dad and my younger sister. I have found Him faithful!!! I would really appreciate getting my hands on this book. Thank you for this devotional!
Would love to win this. Just by today’s devotional, I feel it will have many more which will be an encouragement.
Laura, what a beautiful way to express what you our experiencing. I totally understand as I am in the same boat. Thank goodness we have our Christian sisters to confide in and hold us up in these dark times. Sharing our pain is healthy and also relieves our body and our immune system of poisons we don’t need. I believe talking and journaling and praying are are best support tools when we deal with these intense feelings intense feelings. hang in there trust God knows what your Life path is. After all we are only here for a temporary time and God knows best. Thank you for sharing your comment.
I would love to win this package! This message is much needed at this time in our world!
Dierdre Kinley says
I would love to make this my next devotional!
Ann Woleben says
My heart goes out to you. I am so grateful for God’s sustaining power in our darkest hours. He is there for you.
Lesley Boyer says
Thank you for the encouragement to trust God in every season, in every moment of life.
Gabarel Lambert says
Thanks so much for the encouragement in this devotional and the reminder that He is the God who sees me, even during those times when I feel that others do not,
Today’s post is 100% an answer to my heartcry from last night – a wink from God that he hears me and is with me, even in the darkness and tears.
My marriage too is falling apart – challenges I’m facing I never, ever would have expected and arguably not challenges that many married people face which creates an even deeper level of embarrassing loneliness. The pain is unreal and I feel like it’s never going to end.
Last night, as I lay in bed crying for the millionth time these past 3 years, I sobbed “I’m so alone, God. Why are you doing this to me? Do you not see how much pain I’m in? Why would you let this happen to someone who loves you so much? I know you can heal this with a snap of your fingers? Why aren’t you? Do you care? Why can’t I see you in this?”
This morning, I log on and see this. A response directly from my loving Father. So I will continue to hold on to the hem of his robe and take one baby step forward to follow him every day.
The loneliness in my marriage and in fighting this battle embarrassed and alone may not change but I realize now that I’m not completely alone. The one Person who matters the most is with me.
Thank you for being the vessel for the answer to my prayer last night.
Catherine Moran says
Wow! These are the words of my heart that I didn’t know how to express! It’s a bratty groom Good telling me He actually is aware of what’s going on, the loneliness and the pain. It also shows me He is enough, He is my strength and will guide me step by step along the way.
Thank you for being vulnerable and pointing me to Jesus today, how my souls needed this!
Catherine Moran says
It’s an affirmation from God telling me…
Sorry for the typos,
Grace P. Cho says
Yes He is!
SHARON A says
Thanks for being so vulnerable and honest. I pray your marriage is healing. I lost my dear husband 8 and 1/2 years ago and still miss him every day. But am learning to find joy in everyday life again.
I saw the title and thought “I need to read this!” When I started reading I realized I had read it before since I have the Take Heart book but God knew I needed to hear it again. I am struggling greatly, trying to remain in a loveless marriage that I can see no hope of changing. I would love a chance to win a gift bundle as this book has already meant so much to me and I would love to share it with others. I love the tshirt too but haven’t ordered one! Thank you for sharing your pain so we know we are not alone in our suffering. Thank you for the reminder that we are always seen and loved no matter what!!
Thank you for this. I need to hear this every day. 36 years in and I still feel like my husband doesn’t really know me. What a comfort to be reminded that God does, and that He is walking through this life with me. He reminds me to pray and not give up, He reminds me of the woman who bled for 12 years before she was healed, He reminds me of the woman whose back was crippled for 17 years before she was healed. Healing for our marriage may not come in my lifetime. I will keep praying and telling God, “I believe. Help me in my unbelief.” I am praying for every one of you who are struggling in your marriage. We are not alone. I love you.
“The changes have exposed the complicated knots that have formed over the course of our marriage from the lack of clear communication and intentional efforts to know one another, and I stand in a sea of bitterness and rage, anger and unforgiveness, resentment and a faltering faith that things will get better.”
This is so relatable. It’s really sad, because after 40 years, and not even a sliver of changes, hopelessness sets in and causes loss of joy. This is very comforting, and makes you feel like “ok, I’ll pick up and go again. Even if I go alone”
Grace P. Cho says
Peggy, “Even if I go alone” — wow, so so powerful.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. It is truth that is hard to hear but necessary to move forward out of the pit: “But is resurrection even possible when what needs to die hasn’t finished dying yet?” We want to fast-forward through the pain but that is where the most lasting growth is realized. In God’s perfect timing.
Tina Thomas says
Wow! Just to know that there are other people with the same struggles I’m going through is so comforting! Thank you for sharing!!!
Rachel Kovanda says
No one has been able to put into words I how feel about my marriage this past year, and I cried when I read this because you describe my feelings exactly. Pressing into Jesus to my be ALL, while continuing to seek his face, to work and change my heart. Thank you for your ministry.
This is beautiful and familiar. Loneliness in marriage is painful. I’ve learned that God meets us in that dark place and His faithfulness lights the way.
Stephanie Guest says
Thank you for those words and the giveaway.
Thanks for this devotion. It is very wonderful to know that God is with all the time even and especially through the dark and scary times. He is there waiting for us to surrender everything to Him and to wait patiently on Him to fulfill His promises. I always try to remember “He didn’t promise us a rose garden” and He is the footprints in the sand” when we don’t realize it – He is always there. Thank You, Lord.
Thanks for being so raw and honest! You put words to what so many are feeling too.
Peace and Blessings to you!
This book would be a source of comfort to me.
What has been written this morning hits right on the mark for my 27 years of marriage. A few months ago, I realized I have been like Leah in the Bible, maybe now my Jacob will notice me. Maybe now, my Jacob will love me. I’m in the process of replacing that with the Lord is my husband. He sees me, He knows me, He loves me, He cares, He understands, He provides for me.
Grace P. Cho says
Yes and amen.
As I sit here in tears after reading this, I am reminded that God is always with me. I needed to read this message today, thank you.
Susan Brooks says
Thank you for that post
I needed to hear that today
I know of Gods goodness ….but sometimes the pain and loneliness can be unbearable.
Grace P. Cho says
Yes it can be. I hear you and see you.
Rosa Rodriguez says
Grace- you capture the pain and the process so well. Thank you for sharing your journey. So many of us can relate and receive hope as you remind us that our loving Father is just waiting for us to sit at His feet and learn His ways.
Dina Bartlett says
I really need the encouragement you have to offer! I’m fighting my inner demons to become what our Lord and savior wants me to become!
Sara Davis says
Thank you for writing what my heart feels almost every day. I’m at a point where I just don’t want to bother to say anything to anybody because there is no way for anybody to understand what I’m going through the pain in my marriage. Thank you for reminding me that God is there He sees me hears me walks next to me
when I’m curled up in a ball crying he is there.
And don’t forget the girl who was raised to believe in marriage, but has never ever had a time they thought this was it that hasn’t fallen through. Decades later and the love she thought she just found just walked away as if it meant nothing and with no notice. Sorry, it isn’t a cheerful post. Love you all♥️
I’ve been married 13 years now and we’ve been going through rough things for a couple years now. Divorce and separation have been mentioned. It does seem hopeless and lonely in our marriage. Please pray for us Jesus.
Judith Deiter says
This message and its parelle with fall leaves dying and the resurection touched my heart right where I needed it.
Keri Boer says
The description of pain is so vivid and poignant. It is hard to acknowledge God’s promises and blessings without discounting the struggles, yet it is the only way to healing. Thank you.
L Schilb says
This offers encouragement for struggles that are often overlooked.
Thank you for your words of comfort and assurance of God’s faithfulness.
Lisa Holst says
I have been in the hardest season of my life for the past year. Five deaths, moving, a new job, renovating two houses, family issues. All this has taken a toll on myself, my husband, and our marriage. This devotional would be such a blessing.
Lauren Griesmeyer says
I’m sorry it can be so hard! I will keep you in my prayers! I enjoyed reading your post!
Christ is the answer! love in him…..Lauren
I can relate to when friends don’t know how to enter the pain. When I share of the heartbreak of an estranged family member, I feel like they don’t know what to say. They mean well, and I’m sure they care and are praying, but sometimes there are just no words that can be said.
Thank you for this post, and the chance to win!
Thank you for opening up & sharing your story. As I read more and more, I could relate to what you had written. The looks of “puppy dog eyes” when some friends give me as you approach them. They want to comfort you & give advice. Then say it’ll be better. That’s the frustrating part.
Amanda Hunter says
I’m seeing the parts of my past that have overwhelmed me with loss/anxiety creep into my mind, and have noticed how it affects my trust in God and His abilities. This series seems like the perfect way to remind myself to be still, and to rest in the truths that I once held so tight to, truths that the foundation of my faith has been built on! I look forward to being “(in)couraged” and equipped with my faith restored!
Kathy Birkholz says
I’m addicted to this devotional. It has strengthened my resolve to not give up in certain areas of my life when things seem hopeless.
Each page speaks to women in our real life experiences. This is not just some pithy words like “everything’s going to be okay”.
The authors have a way of making me feel normal in my hearts struggles, while still pointing me to my Savior! Best women’s devotional ever! Perfect for gift giving!
sarah cantrell says
Thank you for your post. When I hear the words “Take Heart” it takes me to the novels of Narnia where Aslan has gone and winter has come but then spring begins. If it as if Aslan is saying “Take Heart-I am coming and everything will be renewed.” So too with our winters in our lives-Jesus is near and spring is coming and he is saying “Take Heart for I have overcome the world.”
I hear these words and think of a close friend. I would like to gift this to her.
Stephanie C says
This would be such a blessing for me. My husband and I have had a difficult time the past several years. I have forgiven him but can NEVER forget. I know there are times when divorces are the answer but I didnt feel it was the answer for me. Sometimes when it all pops in my head I wonder if I made the right choice.
Grace Khoma says
Thank you for these words Grace!
Grace P. Cho says
Awww so good to see your name here, Grace!!
Thank you for these words that remind me who my true companion is. Experiencing loneliness in this season as my husband has temporarily moved out.
Bobbie R Todd says
“God understands the process of becoming, and He does not need the mess to be cleaned up before He will sit with us.”
So thankful for this truth!! Praise Him for being present in me during the hard times over 28 years! I am ever so grateful!
Gretchen Bowman says
Precious words of pain and comfort even whe it seems as though the two cannot be together. Thank you.
These words could very easily have been penned out of my own mish-mashed, loney, broken heart. The messiness of my heart’s reality still unseen though vulnerabilty laid it bare before friends who simply don’t understand. This gentle reminder of hope releases a glimmer of light, instilling a new motivation to move forward. Not only is my father in this, so many sisters echo their similar cries. “You are not alone in this, I’ve got you.”
Thank you for hope.
Theresa Boedeker says
This is so real and relatable. The longer we live the more hurt we aquire from those near us. My sister in law were talking about this. How do we work through deep pain and forgive, especially when the other person won’t even acknowledge something is wrong. People don’t want to really sit with our pain long, which brings us more hurt. Luckily Christ sees us, loves us and knows all. And pouring our hurts out to him helps, but it is a process with no magic bullets.
There is so much peace and comfort knowing that we are seen! As someone who has felt like I blend in with the surroundings and don’t stand out from time to time, and the loneliness and sadness that it brings, to hear our Lord say “I saw that….l see you…..I’m with you in this…. you count….” gives me at least a place to start, to gather myself up, and take another step forward!
I really, really would like to win these resources to help me win the ongoing spiritual battles for His glory and my best. Gid bless you, Sheila, and your ministry. Shalom.
Christa bousma says
great timing to share this with others
Tyra Greene says
We are seen, we are known, and we are loved by God. In moments when others don’t know what to say, and the “at least” statements come out those can often make you feel worse. I think it’s in our nature to want to fix things. You just want someone to listen, to cry and lament with you. At times, there’s is no fix because it’s not about fixing. It’s about allowing God to do what he does best and making things new, better than they were before. He is able. This was a beautifully written piece. Thank you.
Susan E Long says
Grace, thank you for these words – so many can relate to your situation. Your courage in exposing these heartfelt and vulnerable emotions helps us know we aren’t alone even when we feel like we are. Prayers for healing that only God can accomplish in your marriage.
Grace P. Cho says
Thank you, Susan!
Thank you so much for stating what I as well as so many others have lived or are luving through. Continue to follow God’s nudges. He can heal.
I’ve been married over 2/3 of my life…. There were a few years in the middle that I didn’t think we would make it. So many tears, sleepless nights, harsh words and hard conversations. So glad that for once in my life I paused instead of barreling ahead. I’m not saying every day is a piece of cake and I realized some days are 50/50, others 60/40 and sometimes 90/10. By the grace of God here we are, together still.
My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years and we are a blended family. Being in a blended family is tough. Especially being that they are my kids(his stepchildren). Just earlier I was crying out to God telling him that I want out of this marriage. I can’t do it anymore. At the same time I love my husband and want our marriage to work . Reading this gives me comfort in reminding me that I am not alone. God is with me even during the hard days .Thank you.
My daughter who is a Christian stayed and believed and was the best wife and Mom she could be – beautiful
person outside and in. And yet the abuse -so hurtful, when she would pray or go to church she was punished
really – thank God for silent prayer. And finally after many times of having setbacks, lies, and substance abuse,
and seeing other people/ the husband did — and she was criticized- so when he was in jail- one time -among
other times- well this time – she left with the help of friends/ her Dad and I – and it has not been easy- She has had to
go through times of emotional death/ loneliness/ and not belonging anywhere she feels. This devotion which I am sharing with her shows so well the process of dying to hurt, wounds, then only it comes up again in some memory or pain. Thank you for sharing. I pray for her as she wishes have a relationship with a man who really loves her and not a self- centered, the world revolves around me spouse/husband. She said she does not even know what cherish love feels like in a spouse. Her two children also have been hurt and now – the trust issues sprang forth— The generation we pray as well as my daughter and the generation to come – is healed/ restored as the Lord heals and gives resurrection life to our family in Jesus name amen.
Seeing this very timely for a friend of mine.
Theresa Holly says
I always enjoy your emails. I feel alot of comfort someone cares and God is so important to us all
Cindy Smith says
Looking forward to reading this new devotion! Will definitely get the journal too!
My heart was touched as I read this article, and felt each word deep in my soul as if they had been written about me. I to struggle wondering if God hears my cries of despair, and
trust that He does, I just need to wait on His prefect plan. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Melissa Russ says
I would love to win this. Not only am I a foster mom (we have 6 boys!) but I’m married to a pastor of a small church who is bivocational. Any resources on marriage are great for a busy couple, and also make great gifts for others.
Oh the tangled webs we weave! I too, wish I had been hit by a bolt of God’s lightning before my 1st marriage so would not have endured what I did. Good to know I’m not alone & neither are you. Just ask God to hold your hand and pray that His will be done, not ours. Speedy healing for all who are hurting today
I have been there and in the ebbs and flows. I don’t think I knew how to describe it until I read this.
Mary Lester says
Thank you for this. It is even helpful to see that others can feel lonely in marriage. Even perhaps a “ good” marriage. It is a helpful wonderful reminder to know that God sees us, we are seen. X
This devotional, and I am sure the entire book, reaches into my heart and makes me think long and hard about life. While I am happy in my marriage, , I feel that I need to get closer in my relationship that includes God and my husband. I am just not sure how to get there. Thanks for bringing this to all of us. There is nothing like picking up a devotion that meets you where you are at.
Beth Williams says
So sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for writing it so eloquently. I know this has helped many women know they aren’t alone in their struggles. EL Roi, the God who sees, is the name Hagar gave God in a desert of despair. She felt like many that she was unloved & unwanted. God showed her differently. He came & sat with her in the middle of the mess.
Ours is a omniscient & omnipresent-all knowing & ever present God. He knows & understands your pain & suffering. The healing can’t be rushed. HIs process includes removing the dross & impurities from us. Thus making us more like Him.
Grace P. Cho says
That’s my favorite name of His 🙂
This is a beautiful thing! Thank you!
Tara Gaede says
The words on the page speak to me in my despair, God is always present, and He alone offers comfort. Thank you, Lord Jesus.
Lynn Vitek says
This sounds amazing!!
We all need to remember that we are not alone in our sufferings, God is always present and faithful. God bless you all
Dottie Cardoza says
I would love to win this bundle. These have been helpful to me. Thank you for sharing!
This devo today hit me deep. The words of having pain that nobody can truly understand is relatable. This book sounds what I need right now. Marriage is hard but when resentment and bitterness build up, its hard for me God in midst.
DeAnn Poe says
Seeking God’s help for my marriage, I love marriage of 24 years, But at this point we have grown so far apart and experienced so much pain it’s to hard for me to find a peaceful way to communicate
Mary Hickling says
These words really touched me.
I’ve been so over devotionals with, it’ll get better or just be glad you woke up sentiments, that I’ve pretty much given up finding comfort in other believers. But these honest words give me hope.
Laura M Reid says
Thank you for this. I’m 30 years in of a dry, emotionaless, sexless marriage and I’m miserable. I have stayed because of the commitment I made with God on my wedding day. I’m always looking for a way out, but my faith in God is always staring me in the face. I want to win the book bundle with hope that it may open my heart for healing Thanks!
I so admire your willingness to open your heart and be vulnerable. I experienced the kind of marriage you have described, and now struggle to find my joy in singleness. Time and time again scripture gives me guidance, truth, and hope, restoring my balance and making a way forward for me.
As a person who has difficulty opening up. I hope this new devotional would help me share my own life more freely.
It is truth, that somehow we have forgotten to know how to love others through their pain and sorrows. I wrestle with this since my daughter died. I do not want to be a burden with my sorrows and at the same time there has been no comfort from the body of Christ. It’s a difficult thing to be refined through our trials. But, we must never stop short of intentionally stepping into the pain of others. We are called to love others first, and so I pray for love to abound more and more in the midst of our sufferings.
It is refreshing and comforting to read and ponder such honesty —from the heart. No fake pretense…indeed to be reminded to take heart that God alone knows and sees our deepest needs & cries for love
I’m glad he sits with us in the mess so that we are never alone.
I have been in my marriage for many years. I had a picture in my mind how our life was going to be but have had many unexpected twists and turns. God has been my support in all of these situations. I do not know how anyone can live without Him by their side. He is my support always. I pray daily for strength and courage to be who age wants me to be.
What an amazing devotional. What a gift to have other women sharing their stories and how God is with us through it all.
Heidi Roesli says
Wow! Thank you for sharing your journey and being authentic. I lead 2 Women’s groups (one is for cancer survivors like myself) and have walked alongside the women as they navigate difficult journeys. I also have walked many of those roads myself, so your words resonate in my heart. Thank you! I would love to have one of your books to give and pass around in my groups!
Yes-raw vulnerable and broken by this covenant God has called us to. Last week God Began asking me to humble myself and let him defend me. Not sure I have faith or enough trust to do either of those things, but I’m walking, believing he will do what I cannot. Thank you for writing in the mess. Here as well.
Nancy Ladd says
By Holy Spirit we are made one.
This speaks so deeply to my journey. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability.
Just joined! So inspiring…
I can’t stop reading.
Ann Llamas says
How do I buy the book
Grace P. Cho says
You can buy it on Amazon or wherever books are sold!
Nina Marie Iglecias says
This is exactly what I’m going through and this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you God for using these women as a vessel in my life to use them to get to me so that I may hear your voice today.