Sisters, I’m going to admit something ugly here. This is a safe space, right? Lean in close so I don’t have to speak these words above a whisper:
I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas.
There, I said it. (Please don’t judge.)
Since we’re being honest, can you relate to this feeling? It makes me feel like a bad person to harbor any ambivalence about a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ — the most important event in all of human history — so I’ve analyzed the source of those feelings and ways to push past them to more fully enjoy the season. What I’ve found is this: the problem is usually rooted in my unrealistic and self-imposed expectations.
Recently, a friend posted a graphic on Facebook that said, “Mentally, I’m ready for Christmas. Financially, I’m not ready for Christmas.” Many of us feel this way. Is it really necessary to purchase a gift for every friend and check off every box on our children’s wishlists? Maybe not.
When we believe it takes deep pockets to fully enjoy the season, we do ourselves and our families a disservice. If we allow it, it can steal our joy. Many of our greatest gifts don’t require money, but they do require our time and our presence.
Family activities that reflect the Christmas spirit of love and generosity can include delivering a pan of Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls to friends, neighbors, or the local fire department. It can include planning a DIY day with your kids to make inexpensive homemade gifts like sugar scrub, Mason jar brownie mix, or painted canvases. Search Pinterest for DIY Christmas gifts — the ideas are endless!
Let’s teach our children about gifts that come from the heart.
Although I remember some Christmas presents from my childhood, I recall special moments and family traditions even more: my grandmother’s homemade hot cocoa and chocolate-covered cherries, my Great-Aunt Myrt’s cheese spaghetti, the Christmas morning when my sister and I found sooty Santa footprints in front of the fireplace wiped off on the towel that protected my mother’s prized white wool carpet, the LifeSavers Sweet Storybooks in our stockings each year, learning to make coffee for our parents so they would come sit down by the tree sooner.
As parents, my husband and I have established traditions with our own children, some old and some new. At bedtime on Christmas Eve, they unwrap pajamas, which they’ll sleep in, and movies, which they’ll watch on Christmas morning before dragging me and my husband from our warm bed. They may look different than the ones from my childhood, but my children also find LifeSavers Storybooks in their stockings, as well as fun socks, a new pen, a deck of cards, and a lip balm. We draw Secret Santa names in our large family so the kids are only responsible for one gift. This year, we’ve exceeded our usual quota of family nights watching cheesy Christmas movies, and I hope that will be our pattern for years to come.
Though we usually go caroling in local nursing homes, this December, we’ll find new ways to teach our kids to learn to sacrifice their time in ways that bring joy to others.
Don’t allow finances or self-imposed expectations to spoil the wonder and reverence of the greatest gift we know: that the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14 KJV) and that Jesus came not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45 ESV).
Anything that takes the focus from Him detracts from the simplicity of Jesus’ message and the beauty of the Christmas season.
Written by Dawn Camp, from the (in)courage archives
We want you to enjoy a heartfelt, simplified Christmas this year. So we’ve gathered a few of our favorite (in)courage words on this very subject, and they’re ready to share with you!
Sign up for this FREE Simple Christmas 5-day email series, and we will send you five daily emails with encouragement to be present and celebrate this special season with courageous simplicity. Join us and get your holidays off to a simply great start.
This comment has nothing to do with the blog post – it was very good, timely. But this is about something I’ve been wondering for a few months now: why did you, as a group, go away from the formerly beautiful illustrations or photos accompanying the blogs? These new geometric designs might work occasionally but I usually find nothing in them that delights or intrigues me.
Some of the former artwork/photography had me downloading & printing off to put on my wall by my study desk. They almost always had a lovely scripture or quote along with them, but the image was what made me want to “keep” it, if only for a short time. Am I the only one who has commented on this? Thanks for all you do, regardless 🙂
Suzanne, thanks for sharing this feedback. We’re delighted to know that our previous images were so meaningful to you! With launching our re-designed website this fall came a fresh look that we hoped would appeal to a wide range of women and help make (in)courage content recognizable across social media platforms. We’ve received tons of positive feedback from readers who love the new design, but it’s also helpful to hear different perspectives as we consider how to best serve our community going forward. Thanks again for taking the time to share and for being part of the (in)courage sisterhood!
Warmly,
Becky Keife
(in)courage Community Manager
I LOVED the old design. Everything about it was perfect in my opinion.
This new design is a little depressing to be honest. I’ve been wanting to say something but didn’t want to complain.
This new design is so formal, so black and white. The old one was warm, cozy, friendly. And I loved that I could easily navigate to find a previous post if I had missed a day or more. Where did the previous and next posts at the bottom of the page go?
The only thing I like about the new design is maybe the font size of the comment box:) It’s nice and big haha.
Thank you as always for all you do! I will take this design over nothing lol. But if you could bring back the old design, PLEASE do. It was pretty much perfect.
P.S. I came back the next morning and noticed you’ve now added an option to view “Recent Posts” at the bottom. Thanks for this:)!
I hate Christmas as it is right now. Everyone is so self-absorbed in their nuclear families that they forget about those who don’t have family, or just choose not to care. Pastors will preach about miraculous love and extending welcome to strangers, and I’ll sit in a cold dark room alone wishing for the night to be over and that the people I loved were not dead, or an unreachable distance away (no, they do not have video chat). Sure, I try to brighten it up some Christmases and cook a meal while spending the entire day in prayer and quiet reflection, but it’s not the warm and joyous occasion everyone talks about. If you want a simple Christmas, try reaching out to someone who has nothing and learn.
Adora, I so understand your pain during this time of year and every other family oriented holiday. My parents have been gone a long time and I lost both siblings in 2016. I will pray for you, for the joy to be restored to you, and for God to send people that choose to be your family to you.
God bless.
I see your pain, many of us are going thru the same…but dear sister.. you have the greatest gift of all, you HAVE abundant Joy and Love , it’s right there..inside you.. the Holy Spirit.. !
Reach up and take Jesus hand…He is reaching down for yours already..
the only perfect friend we have is Him…everyone else disappoints .
Let His glorious Love abide in your heart…yes reach out to others.. the JOY is in giving not receiving.
Read Isaiah 43 ..all of it…You ARE precious to Him. He L V E S you
Grab a pen and paper and start a praise Journal…and start doing Acts Of Kindness and just see how you are blest ! Merry Christmas hugs
Do you know what God showed me a good few years ago. It is so true. Anything that takes your time away from God times get rid of it. I used to spend all my time watch all the soaps on TV before I even think of spending time with God. If I missed one I tape. Then I spend so much time on Facebook on my phone. God time was getting less and less. I get to the stage I just read my Bible and say my prayers just for the sake of it. 10 15 minutes would do me. If even that. Then one day. A good friend who is Glory said Dawn. What is talking over your life more than God. God see all you do. One day you will stand before him and give an count for that. How much time did you spend in his word. How much time did you spend praying. How much do care about people. It was all me me. I do read his word say my prayers care for others. Go to church. No she said really do it. We are the Church. The people that care about those in need. Going the extra mile. Not the big fancy building. Yes it’s good to go Church hear the word. Then this friend who is Glory now said. Dawn how much time in your life is taking over my soaps on TV your phone. The things you do on it. The internet etc. Is taking more time with your life than you giving it to God. Look at all God has given you. Another day to be alive in his beautiful world. To go help someone in need say in your own family. Do a reading of God word. Get away from TV and all theses things. Then she said we are the lights of the world to the unsaved the hurting. Not the lights on the Christmas tree. We should show it by the way we live our lives by praying for people no one else would. Going the extra mile for a family member. Getting away from the TV. Internet etc. So since that. I began to change big time. I help my Dad who is 80 next year more. I don’t watch the soaps any more. I pray more. I watch what I say. I remember I am the light to the unsaved world were ever I go. Not the fancy Christmas lights. We are the Church not the fancy building. I am sorry I lived like that in the past. Now I watch very little TV. Spend very little time on the internet. Just do my readings for Jesus in it. I pray alot more prayers for people of all walks of life. I have changed big time with God help. I pray for my unsaved family on my Dad’s side or family and my late Mum’s as none of them saved. I thank full for the change. I thank full for good friends even though not here today who made me. As I know God is pleased with me. I wouldn’t go back to that old way of life again. Love today’s reading. Love all you guys incourage. Pray for you all. Dawn Ferguson-Little
Such great advise…when I open my iPad to get my daily devotional bible study , which takes over an hour to do, I then right away always send someone an encouragement before I do any other internet or morning routines.. I have created a prayer room also..
internet, tv ( which I don’t watch at all) is such a waste of our time., reach out to others, be still ..LISTEN for Gods voice, direction, He tries to talk to us…He loves our conversation with Him.. He is the best Friend you will ever have and He has all the answers you need. Abide .. Encourage…don’t waste your life on empty fills.
Merry Christmas.. Jesus is born !
Dawn,
I get you. I, too, dislike the holiday season. We go from Halloween right into buying something for Christmas. No mention of Thanksgiving until a day or two before. That is why “The Little Drummer Boy” is my favorite Christmas song. It talks about a young boy who is told to see the new born king. Trouble is he has nothing to give that’s fit for a king. So what does he do? He plays his drum. He simply plays a nice song for the new baby Jesus. Something so simple, inexpensive, but giving of ourselves. The best gifs don’t come from retail stores. They come from the heart of the giver. For the last few years I have tried to get gifts for senior angles. Just a little something that they need to make their lives better. My heart is more into making food items for others. Showing I truly care for them. That makes the holidays for me.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you all for everything you do, you are a blessing.
Blessings to you al,
Pennyl
I really appreciate what you shared, Dawn! I, too, have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. Our children are all grown now, but I spent many years burning the midnight oil trying to make every stocking perfect for our six children and my husband, and later, any children-in-law who might also be with us. I’ve never been a crafter, and my buying gifts for each person has stressed my husband out over the years. He REALLY has a love/hate relationship with Christmas! Now I’m just trying to show respect to my husband first of all and then trying to show love to each of our family members in the very modest way he is comfortable with. The holiday seems very distanced from a celebration of Christ’s first coming; I wish it were more about Him! I’ll consider what you shared about DIY gift ideas and possibilities for serving others. And I’ll look forward to the five days of emails about a simple Christmas!
Thank you for your post. I too have a love/hate relationship with Christmas and often beg Jesus to forgive me. It’s the shopping I hate (any time of the year). However I am surrounded by family members who’s #1 love language is gifts/presents. Trying to let go of expectations of “wow” & second guessing each purchase.
Dear Adora
My heart hurts for you. We live in a broken and unrealistic world. I’ve had family members ripped away from me from cancer to mental health. I’ve learned that giving of yourself to others in worse conditions is what Jesus teaches. I bet you have some amazing gifts from the Lord to offer say a first responder, a nurse or doctor who is working in a covid unit, a teacher who tirelessly loves her students, the trash men who work under all weather conditions, your mailman, a nursing home patient and staff. I believe your broken heart will heal very quickly when you give of your gifts to those who are also tirelessly working to make our broken world a better place. They need you Adora. Pity is from the enemy. I know that. God’s love never ceases and you are His precious instrument to share your talent and gifts. Be the gift Adora! What a beautiful name.