About the Author

Michelle Reyes, Ph.D., is an Indian American pastor’s wife, writer, and activist. She is also the Vice President of the Asian American Christian Collaborative and writes regularly on faith, culture, and justice. Michelle lives in Austin, TX with her husband and two kids. Follow her on IG @michelleamireyes.

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  1. I loved this: “We need to be able to say to each other, ‘My grief is different from yours, and I will not compare the two.'” Each of us has experienced some trial/grief in life and we cannot begin to know the challenges of each other. It is not fair/right to say one is worse than the other because how can we truly know. However, as a community of sisters, we can lift each other up, acknowledge the pain as real and pray for peace, comfort, and meaningful societal change.

    • Amen, Elizabeth! Let’s keep lifting each other up, acknowledging the pain as real and praying for peace, comfort, and meaningful societal change. This is what it means for us to be sisters of courage!

  2. Beautifully expressed~I pray daily for peace in our world. It is beyond hurtful that we are not following God’s commandment to love one another.

  3. It spoke to my heart. Grief is hard enough to deal with but to not be able to share and be understood adds another layer of pain. As a teenager, my daughter had a homework assignment which asked one thing you learned when you were little. She said, in pre-school she learned “just be nice”. Didn’t Jesus tell us to be like little children?

    • I love how much we can learn from our kids! What a beautiful reflection. I also agree that not being understood in our grief adds another layer of pain. Even if we don’t understand what someone else is going through, we can still say, “your grief is welcome here. I care and I’m here.”

  4. Michelle – this is soo beautiful. Soo MUCH sorrow, grief and pain in this world right now. so much…. and yes to give each other the love, space, time to grieve showing love, compassion and empathy allowing them to process, work through, heal. Humbling our hearts to be like Jesus, serving others with love, grace and mercy and offering up the hope, healing, peace and joy we can only find in The ONE, Jesus our Lord and Savior! To Him be the glory !!!

    • Thank you for this good word, Tamara. It’s hard to think outside of our own grief and pain. I know that to be true in my own life. But Christ also gives us the capacity to serve and love in the midst of grief. I love that.

    • Amen to this post! I wish it were in my power to gather the whole world up in a comforting and loving hug…but that power belongs only to God and one day He will do just that! And oh how I look forward to being with everyone where no one will ever hate, or have to hurt ever again. Please God, come soon. I hurt so bad for all of us. We are all God’s children and we are all grieving…bless you dear friends and sisters in Christ.

  5. I love this Michelle, and I am so sorry for your pain. I’ve often felt the same–why do we have to compete to see who hurts the most? This is not a contest. It’s a fight against injustice and wrong that we need to be arm in arm for. Great words.

  6. Michelle,

    You said it best “we are all unique individuals”. Each person grieves differently. There is no one way or time limit on grief. If we are to love like Jesus did then we need to allow everyone proper time to release the sorrow within us. While I have never been through what many are dealing with I am grieving the loss of the America of the past. When there was much less civil unrest & more of God in our world. I heartily believe we need a revival in our country. Praying for ALL races. Asking God to end this civil unrest & bring about a peace that only He can give us.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Thank you, Beth! Prayers are much needed for the state of Minnesota after the incident of Daunte Wright due to protests and unrest. We have state of emergency and a curfew that is still going on. Prayers are appreciated as I believe in the power of prayers (but also to include people’s heart to change = NOT to jump into assumptions too quickly). We are all grieving differently, especially that America is losing it. We do definitely need a revival in this country or God will have to say ¡No Más! Thank you.

    • I think it’s so important for us to understand that we all grieve differently. Such a good reminder. I too am praying for God to end this civil unrest & bring about a peace that only He can give us.

  7. I too am grieving for our nation, and especially those impacted by the hate-filled acts taking place in our cities. With you, Michelle, I think there’s much comfort in just the words, “I’m so sorry. I’m hurting with you.” And you are so right: presence, connection, and brief verbal affirmations speak volumes. I’ve experienced that too. May we reach out to support one another in these ways, just as you’ve presented!

  8. Thank you for sharing this much needed and healing message. Please consider making an audio book in the near future for those of us who have difficulty reading much. Great wisdom in your message! May God bless you as you continue to hear Him and share it with others.

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