I clenched my phone in the palm of my hand after sending a text that set up some emotional boundaries I knew weren’t going to be well received. The text thread went silent, and I held my breath, swallowing a sob welling in my throat. I wasn’t expecting nearly a decade of friendship to end here in a hotel hallway, untethered by a single text. My thoughts skidded through the past few moments as I tried to process the string of texts that became the epicenter of a friendship breaking apart.

Last year proved to be the year of demolition. It was a year of walking amidst the wake of endings as I experienced a friendship breakup, a boyfriend breakup, and a break away from calm to utter chaos within the workplace. It was the year that God brought the wrecking ball through all the wrong foundations I was building my expectations upon.

Jesus describes the aftermath that unfolds if we build our lives on shaky foundations:

And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.
Matthew 7:26-27 (ESV)

I didn’t realize how unstable the infrastructure of my life was until I felt the sand slipping and shaking beneath my feet. But God was setting my life on the track of an extreme heart makeover.

I think we gravitate toward improvement shows because we get to watch a desperately needed renovation take place within the advantage of an hour-long TV segment. These shows are proof that the jaw-dropping reveal day is the result of rolled-up sleeves, sledgehammered concrete, and many walls knocked down. As dry wall is torn down and the interior is turned inside out, I can sympathize with the homeowner whose eyes widen at the wreckage that demo day brings. After all, a tremendous amount of confidence must be entrusted in the interior designers as they gut a home that once provided security and stability and promise to replace it with something so much bigger and better.

Amidst the breaking and shaking that God does in our lives, it can be difficult to see beyond the dust and debris. But transformation can only happen through demolition.

As I reflect on last year’s soul-buckling shattering, I see more clearly where the Lord was revealing to me the wondrous blueprints of grace He wanted to implement in my life. He was graciously showing the cracks in my boundaries that needed mending and the rooms that needed a complete overhaul. He was pointing to the places where He wanted to tear down the faltering walls I had put up around my heart and where He wanted to build a stronger, bolder identity in Jesus Christ. He even reconciled and restored my friendship to my close friend, and now we can build our relationship with more openness and trust than before.

In the end, I am grateful for the renovations He accomplished with some of the most broken pieces of my story.

Jesus offers a better way for our building efforts. “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock” (Matthew 7: 24-25 ESV).

If we build our lives on the rock of Jesus Christ, our satisfaction won’t slip into sinking sand.

God doesn’t just want to rearrange the furniture and sweep the glaring problems under the rug, and He doesn’t simply show up for demo day only to leave us broken in the dust. He is the Master Architect who wants to build something more solid in us than the sinking sand of our own flimsy expectations. He’s ready to partner with us in rolling up our sleeves and committing to a total transformation — even if that means launching into a chaotic string of demo days.

If the demolition promises a cleaner, purer, more solid, God-centered life, would we not be more willing to hand over the keys of our heart and be the first to sign up for demo day?

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