About the Author

Kaitlyn is a Virtual Assistant, book launch manager, and storyteller who writes about discovering God's goodness in the ordinary and faithfulness in the difficult. She loves good books, deep conversations, and iced vanilla lattes. Kaitlyn is the author of Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between.

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  1. I too have had more than one size jean in my closet for the “one day that might come”. But the freedom of knowing I have what fits now really is a gift. It’s an even bigger gift to know God clothes me in the appropriate skill, Spirit-filled attitude & insight to minister where I am today. He may change that in the future but He has given me all I need for this moment & that is all that matters. No longing for the past & fretting over the future. He makes me enough in the now. Thank you for inspiring me to connect my clothes closet to my spiritual closet!

  2. Thank you. I needed that today. It’s our 47th anniversary. I’m 81 and have always had weight problems and been on more than off diets since age 11. I’m 3 lbs less than when I married my amazing husband 47 years ago but few lbs over my goal for today. Made me frustrated to miss goal until I read your wonderful post. I’ve asked God’s forgiveness and with His help will be kind to myself and count blessings not lbs.

  3. Kaitlyn
    You are an amazing writer who speaks truth and from the heart.
    I loved this post and can telate to everything you say.
    As with your lyrical book, Even If Not, I always find your writing
    5 stars.
    Bless you always and thank you for sharing your God breathed writing

  4. A wonderful lesson for all. I moved into a very, very, very tiny condo. It has forced me to not keep multiple sizes of my clothes. And it is freeing. It is comfortable. And usually no surprises. I have what I need and what fits. I think some of this comes with age, too. But to be honest, some days, I just avoid the mirror. And I love the colder weather- big sweaters are the best.

    • It’s it surprising how freeing it is? What seems like it would be limiting or a place of lack becomes freedom. Only God. (But yes, I’m so with you on the cozy fall sweaters. They’re the best.)

  5. Thank you. I can so relate. You see I too live in Alabama and have said for years that my body wasn’t eve made for wearing jeans. It has always been hard to find comfortable jeans and I still have some I really need to give away. God bless you

  6. Thank you Kaitlyn, it just so happens I have removed my jeans from my drawer and put them in a bag to donate to the college nearby for some of those girls that need them for now, maybe later in life they will find out they will no longer need them like me. I have been working on the spiritual aspect of it all. Thank u for this blog, we’re in this together.

  7. Oh what a beautiful message for young women like me. I am young at heart. I am a breast cancer survivor from 2018. God is so good to me. I have my mother as my support system, I have my three lovely daughters who are kind and help me to embrace new things about being a young lady of Grace and Elegance. I have been married for 41 years and it has been quite a difficult journey of learning to let go of what I don’t understand. You cannot change another human being if they don’t want to change.

    I am in a peaceful place with a wide open meadow of comfort.

    Thank You Lord for teaching me to allow You to care for me.

    Brenda M Russell
    I am Enough

  8. What an amazing post. As I get older I’m appreciating what my body can do instead of what it supposed to look like.

  9. Dear Kaitylin thank you for sharing your heart. We as women some of us. Don’t like when we put on weight. No matter what the reason is. We look at nice clothes we had in our wardrobe that no longer fit us. We say I most loose weight watch what I eat. Do more exercise. Take care more of body. But we don’t stop and think of the Woman who have the gens that run in her family to make her look as though she has put on weight for the wrong reasons. Or that woman who has put on weight because of health issues. We just see them even though we don’t know them as being over weight. We in our own minds judge them. Say to ourselves they should try and loose some weight. God would not want us judging them in our own minds. Because we can if we think they have put on weight for this or this reason. We should be praying for them. As we especially if we don’t know them we think all those wrong thoughts about them. Pray people will not judge them for what ever reason they have put on weight. Ask the Lord to show them if they need to loose weight if or they are the way they are because they are not living and eating right. Or it is another reason that could be due depression. For us to pray for them that they see it. Get the help they need it if they need help for it. Let them see the love of the Lord and no what ever reason it is the way they are. That God love them. It doesn’t matter what people say or think. Only what God thinks about them. So I do that with people I pray for them if someone comes to mind that I see is this way for what ever reason it is. I don’t judge them in my mind or start saying to myself they need to loose weight. Who am I in God eyes to think or say that. So I know because I have thyroid problem. I have put on weight because of it. Not because of what I eat. I eat good foods. People could if they don’t know me or know me. Judge me say and say she put on a lot of weight. Especially if they know me say too someone Dawn’s put on weight. Yes at the start it did hurt I put on weight because of the thyroid problem I have. But not I pass no remarks on it. Because I am who God say I am that is a Daughter of the King of kings Jesus. That is all that matters to me. Not what people say or think. So I don’t care now that I have clothes that don’t fit. I thank God I am alive I am healthy. Now I got my thyroid problem mostly stored out. I can give clothes if in good condition that don’t fit me to charity. To help someone else. I am blessing them. When they don’t fit me. Thank you again Kaitylin for what you shared. Keeping you all incourage in my prayers. Dawn Ferguson-Liitle xx

  10. Kaitlyn, I needed all of these words today. You are beautiful. You are not too much. And I know the same is true of me.

    “What remained no longer shamed.”

    Amen. And Thank you.

  11. Wow, thanks for those words of wisdom, they couldn’t have come at a better time.
    For me, it’s endless weeks of Prednisone because of a Lupus flare, several minor surgeries and my list can go on and to be honest, I’m 57 and I will admit that the older we get, the harder it is to loose those pounds.
    I tried on a pair of jeans the other day, they were a bit snug but it was the roll of stretched skin that bothered me most. When I am on Prednisone I blow up like a balloon, like I’m 7 months pregnant but it is something I can’t control.
    I never really thought about Colossians 3:12 in this instance.
    This past week, October 11, 2021 by hubby and I celebrated our 18th anniversary separately (more on that in a moment) but Colossians 3:12&14 was our wedding text.
    ****Now, it was not our plan to celebrate our anniversary separately but early on Sunday morning I was rushed by ambulance to our local hospital with Sepsis. I had a bladder infection that wasn’t responding to the second different antibiotics that I was on. My fever was 104.7, this is not normal for me at all. I have had bladder and kidney issues since I was born and after a special surgery when I was 5.5 years old I never had fevers again, until now. I ended up coming home sooner that I should have but there was no room in The Inn. I spent 1.5 days in the hallway before I convinced my doctor to let me go home. I am using a walker to get around and start home therapy next week to work at gaining my strength up.So, constantly battling health issues along with everything else, you do start to get down on your self.
    My darling hubby said the best thing ever when he said “I love you for you, you have a huge heart and are always caring for others. With the bit of extra you have it gives me more of you to love and it gives you more to care for others.”

    • Oh my goodness, I’m so glad you’re home now! May you experience so much kindness this next week. (A book came to mind while reading your comment… the author wrote about her time in the hospital/on the medication you mentioned! Maybe it would offer a bit of hope or, perhaps, a reminder that you aren’t alone? It’s called Food Saved Me and is by Danielle Walker.)

  12. How honest and how transparent you have been! I admire that. I can well identify with you, but unlike you, in May, I decided I didn’t want to give anything away to charity nor did I want to buy new clothes, so I went on a diet. No potatoes, no sugar, sweets, biscuits, cakes, no rice and no bread. And I did it! I lost weight and I fit in my clothes. I am happy, I am 65 and I feel great. Be kind to yourself, however you want to be, but if I can do it, then you can too. Give it a go.!

  13. Honesty carries its own kind of beauty and this post overflows with beauty. I especially appreciated these words: “The drawer is half-full or half-empty, depending on how you look at it. But I can breathe when I open it, I can breathe in everything that remains, and where there once held a pile that said “You’ve become too much,” there’s space for grace and for whatever is to come.”
    So much grace and hope in what you wrote. Thank you.

  14. So needed this in this moment! Be kind to yourself! This kindness brings freedom!
    Thank you, may blessings continue to abound.

  15. Omg, this is my story!! in all u said” I’m going thru the too much, ur year was mine too! right now Healing from back surgery however I’ve increased my Laughters to avoid pain! I still have a few more wks, to then deal with the Jeans!
    Im going to embrace that moment w/freedom & ☮️
    Thank u so much for posting my life too! It’s ironic how someone writes ur thoughts,feelings, fears,drama I call it! and at the end, u have laughed thru it all!!

  16. I absolutely love this reading and can relate to it so well.
    I finally (at the end of our winter here in South Africa) have neatly put away a (while lot) of pants and tops that just don’t fit me. They may fit again in a season or two (as my patterns of weight loss and weight gain go), but I have (for the most part) let go of the shame that these clothes no longer fit, and look instead at the courage and grit and determination that had grown within me over the past 2 (very difficult) years.
    Thank you for this encouragement…. Much needed reminder to be graceful with myself.

  17. I needed this more than you know. I have been struggling with my body so much. Weight gain due to many issues make it so hard for me to feel ok with myself. Thank you for this beautiful read.

  18. I needed to read this! I have had a tough few years and last year gained weight trying to cope. Yes kindness is key. I try to laugh more and focus on just living a more healthier lifestyle. Sure I miss what I looked like at 20 but my body has been through so much and continues to keep going. We need to be more accepting of ourselves. Self love

  19. Kaitlyn,

    Thank you for your honesty & wisdom. Women tend to be hard on themselves about their weight. Not many of us stay the same shape over time. We shouldn’t be hard on ourselves about our bodies. God made you just as you are & He sees you as beautiful. Don’t listen to what society says about body shape & size. Listen to what Almighty God says. You are enough & perfect in His eyes.

    Blessings 🙂

  20. You have no idea how much I needed to read this a really let this message soak in!! I body has grown too. Only stretchy clothes fit any more. During this season not only have I experienced the isolation but also a broken knee and torn ligaments. It was a contributing factor but not the whole story. Thank you for this message. It made me weep with relief and new purpose.

  21. Thank you, Kaitlyn. Like you (and many others) I’m much better at piling shame than kindness on myself. Your words hit home and encouraged me.

    A couple of days ago, I talked with a woman who struggles to gain and maintain weight. It struck me that most battles are invisible and most of us need to end judging ourselves and instead grant kindness.

  22. Thank you for this…. I too can identify with this especially when for me the weight came and stayed on in menopause!! Be kind to yourself …..love your now body, thank you Lord!! Very very timely and gracefully written..thank you again

  23. Thanks so much for sharing this honest and vulnerable post! I too have grown out of most of my pants and it really is discouraging. As much as we know not to, it’s hard for us as women to not think we should look better or be better or more disciplined. I also let go of all of my old dress pants and shopped and found some that fit and made me feel good about myself. It surprised me to realize that as much as I hope to lose some weight and get back to better health, a new pair of pants that fit comfortably and flatter my slightly larger curves made such a difference. I’m grateful to have the funds to replace part of my wardrobe, as there have been years when that would have been an additional burden. So even if it’s just one pair of dress pants or a nice outfit, I encourage us to give ourselves the kindness and grace we would offer to others, and in turn I believe it will give us the encouragement we need to be able to bless others.

  24. Thank you for this message. I also have the same problem with clothes, and everything else too. As this is Oct. 28 and the message was sent on Oct. 17– I have the problem with being so far behind on my emails because I think “read later” and go on to the next email. But then to make it worse I don’t read emails everyday. But back to clothes…. I have piles of clothes from many years ago when I was less weight, but then I also had piles at that time to hold for when I lost weight. I have thought many times to just accept things as they are and pray that I can get a handle on things and that God will lead me to move on. And when I think I can move on then there is a “monkey wrench” thrown my way. In the midst of the pandemic last year my dad went onto hospice and passed at the beginning of last August, his youngest sister died two days later, and just this September his last remaining sibling passed away, a brother who he was very close to. During this time of grieving and cleaning out my dad’s house I found clothes that I kept there incase I needed to change when I was at his house, especially if there was a change in weather. There were a lot of nice clothes but I had to make a decision as to what to give away and what to keep. But I still have a lot of clothes that I know I can’t wear anymore, weight and age has taken a toll, maybe age even more since what looked great years ago may look silly on my “old” body. So I pray for all those out there who deal with this same issue, look to the Lord and let him guide you. I take watercolor classes and my art teacher always says “less is more” , I have to apply this to my closets as well! Thank you for a wonderful message

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