About the Author

Kayla Craig is the author of “To Light Their Way" and "Every Season Sacred" and creator of Liturgies for Parents. A former journalist, she’s adamant about paying attention and staying curious. She writes the popular "Year of Breath" devotional newsletter and lives in Iowa with her husband and four wild,...

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Amen, Kayla! Another tool to not making it about myself is to pray for & with my hurting friend. I find my own semi related hurts help form prayers specific to my friend yet is not a retelling of my experience. Picturing what was helpful to me & applying it to my hurting friend takes me to the throne room of The One who can meet all their needs. Hearing what’s being asked on their behalf reinforces they are not alone & I’m not the one to fix them or take away the hurt. Blessings Kayla!

  2. Kayla, this is beautiful. I’m going to re-read this several times. This is exactly where I’m trying to be in Connecting (my word for the year) with others. I struggle with the right words to comfort, but I can be present and listen well, and pray continually. Thank you for this encouragement.

  3. I see this from the side of someone who is going through excruciating difficulties right now. I have no one to listen. Because our way of dealing with things is so different, my husband doesn’t listen, at least not with interest. I know God listens, but sometimes I wish someone would be here to walk with me through the darkness.

    • Becky, I’m praying for God to send you a Godly woman to be a comfort to you and someone who will be that listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Also, I pray she will help you see the light through this dark time, whether it be through scripture, funny anecdotes, companionable walks (I find nature to be very calming, healing and emotionally uplifting) or just being there with you.

  4. Kayla, thank you for these important words! Just being available can be most comforting, even when we have not gone through that particular valley.

  5. Kayla, this is wonderful. And something my daughter (when she was a teenager) would remind me to do- “Mom, I just need you to listen!” Wise words.

  6. I can do so much better in this area of comfort. My compassion and kindness can trick me into believing I have the “perfect healing words” to share and more often than not, it goes the wrong way… the way to my story and not the way to listening!
    Thank you Kayla for this message today

  7. Thank you Kayla for sharing your experiences. It is so important to be sensitive and be a listening friend. While many offered advice, and other words, it was their quiet presence that I needed, through an exhausting and challenging time with my sick husband. It has helped me to be a listener and to bless my friends with tokens of their favourite eats during their challenging itmes.

    To emulate our LORD is the best way to be a god friend to those around us.

  8. Kayla,

    This is spot on. People want to be seen, heard & loved. Their trials are not yours. They want to know that you care. For me it may look like making a meal, or some food. Want to share God’s love with them. Working in a hospital I come across people dealing with various trials. If they are willing to talk I listen & tell them I pray for them. Letting them know I have empathy for their situation. That is all people really need & want.

    Blessings 🙂