Content Warning: This article includes discussion of suicidal thoughts. While the story is shared with honesty and hope, it may be difficult for some readers. If you are struggling, please know you are not alone — support is available. In the U.S. and Canada, you can dial or text 988 for immediate help. (Names and details have been modified for privacy.)
It was Sam’s first Sunday at our church.
She came up to me after I had finished preaching, introduced herself, and asked if we could talk after service. She said it was about something sensitive. Her eyes were wide and frantic, and I could sense how immediately she needed to speak.
As we sat down to chat, the first words out of her mouth were, “I’m planning on ending my life today.” She was jittery and fidgeting with her hands. I took a breath, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Coming here was my last shot,” she continued. “I saw the church and walked in. This is it. I needed to see if God cares about me anymore. But I think I might be done after this.”
Honestly, I didn’t know how to respond. I gently asked if I could go get my husband, explaining how he’s currently getting his doctorate to be a psychologist and that he might have some wisdom to offer.
“Oh yes,” she responded. “I’ll take any help I can get.”
About 45 seconds later, my husband joined me at the table; the three of us huddled together on the far side of the room. Sam started telling us how desperate she felt. She woke up depressed. She went to bed depressed. She felt like she had nothing and no one. She had followed God for years, but she didn’t know if she was doing it right. Nothing in her life was changing.
For most of the conversation, we simply listened. Every so often, we’d ask a question. Sometimes we’d offer a comment, but for the most part, we just let Sam share. The overwhelming theme of her story was how crushingly alone she felt.
While my husband, David, wrote down resources for her – hotlines to call, and people to talk to – I told Sam, “I’d love to see you back at church service next week. I’d love for you to be part of our church.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
“Absolutely, Sam. The Bible talks about how when you follow God, you’re in the family of God. That means you get to be part of our church family! That means we’re family!”
All of her mannerisms suddenly changed. Her fidgeting relaxed. Her frantic eyes were suddenly calm. She actually looked giddy and clapped her hands together, reminding me of a child on their birthday when a cake is presented before them.
“I’m in the family?” She repeated back to me.
I reached out to squeeze her hand, and her fingers clutched mine as desperately and as tightly as she could.
“You sure are, Sam,” I said. “You’re in the family of God. That means every single Sunday, you get to come to a church service, and you get to have all of these people as your friends. You aren’t alone anymore. You have God, and you also have us.”
Psalm 68:6 declares a promise, “God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” (NLT)
All of a sudden, joy was written all over Sam’s face. Her struggles had not disappeared, but I saw before my own eyes how joy was suddenly part of her testimony. The family of God is incredibly important – because God places the lonely in families.
Maybe you are the “lonely” described in Psalm 68. Maybe you resonate with Sam, and you long to belong. I want you to know something: you are a part of the family of God. I urge you to get connected to a local church and actively participate in the body of Christ. God is ready to place you into a family.
Or maybe you are not the lonely one, but instead, someone who has been a part of the family of God for as long as you can remember. Maybe you go to church services weekly, volunteer, and help in whatever ways you can. What Sam helped me realize is that when you’ve been part of the family of God for a long time, you can take it for granted. You can focus on the work it requires and, honestly, how hard it can sometimes be. But being part of a church isn’t simply about the work – it’s about the people.
Being part of the family of God is what we were made for. You get to help the “lonely” belong. You get to welcome them into the family.
Two weeks later, Sam wanted to talk after church again. I gave her an enormous hug, and was greeted with an even more enormous grin stretching across her beautiful face.
“I wanted to thank you and David,” she told me. “Two weeks ago, my life was saved. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s so much better because I know I’m not alone anymore.”
Stepping foot in church that day was literally a death-to-life experience for Sam. And perhaps that’s part of why our resurrecting God designed church the way He did…
To remind each other that God’s family is so much better because we’re each a part of it.
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