Without Wavering

Stop. That is what my heart is telling me to do. Stop. Stop being so negative. Stop trusting what the doctors say to be 110% accurate. Stop moping around, thinking about death and dying, and start living.

That, of course is what I have told myself from day one of my brain cancer diagnosis, and somehow I have gotten away from that mindset.

Because the truth is, Cancer can’t be trusted. I had no symptoms, no warning. It hit out of nowhere and completely blindsided me and my family.

Isn't that just like life? It hits you without any warning, blindsiding your faith and trust.

But it didn’t blindside God. He knew, from the moment he formed me in my mothers womb… He knew.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

I’ve gotten away from that scripture. Even though I know in my heart that nothing happens outside of His will for my life, I have doubted Him more in the last two years than I have ever doubted Him before.

And those are normal valid feelings. But dwelling on them is not.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep his promises.
Hebrews 10:23

That is what I have been missing. It is okay to have bad days, in fact I would think something was wrong with me if I didn’t have bad days (and so would you!) But it is one thing to have bad days and a totally different thing to not put my trust my Savior that He will keep his promises.

He doesn’t promise me a tomorrow.
He doesn’t promise me healing, even though I pray for it daily.
He doesn’t promise me a life void of suffering.

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me,
freeing me from all my fears….
I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me.
He set me free from all my fears.
Psalms 34:4,6

Read that last line again. Fear, that is what He set me free from. Not from suffering, not from pain…Fear.

He set you free from fear too.

And now I realize (I’ve always known this to be true) that I can’t do this on my own. I can't pull myself out of this on my own.

I can’t, but God can. 

He WILL direct my path.

What is God telling you to let go of?  How is He speaking to your heart today?

I encourage you to listen to His voice, and follow His heart.  This life is hard, it is really hard. But it doesn't have to be void of joy and fulfillment.

It is all in how you face your trials.

And who you face them with.

by Heather