About the Author

Anjuli grew up as a missionary kid secretly wondering, “Why does everyone else understand what a relationship with Jesus is, but me?” It wasn’t until she ran into her fears instead of from them, that Anjuli found her voice and the love of God meeting her there. She is a...

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  1. Wonderfully written and a powerful reminder of how Christ should be front and foremost in our lives. It isn’t easy to put into practise when I’m tired or worried or anxious, but with God’s help I’ll try again today and tomorrow and the day after until I’m able to be a channel of His perfect love rather than human frustration. Only through and with God can we find His peace. Thank you for a lovely post, Anjuli.

  2. Anjuli,
    Thank you for such a raw and honest post. What streams in your head, also streams in the minds of countless others. We tend to measure ourselves by whether or not our marriage is thriving, whether or not our kids are successful, what the scale says, how many “likes” we get on social media. It’s like chasing the wind. I love the turn of this phrase, “Our identity will only find peace when we let Christ be what pieces us together.” Amen!! It’s only through the blood of Christ that we can be seen as perfect by the Father. Let all striving, trying, performing, and earning cease. When we’re having an identity crisis, time to run straight into the arms of Jesus. Loved this!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

  3. This is me every day! I keep failing in managing anger and anxiety especially with my kids and the fact I’m a SAHM . But I will try again by God’s grace

    • rejoice you have the chance and opportunity to raise them and be such a huge part of their lives before they go off into this world ( of many decisions ).
      I’m at stay at home mom too who also homeschools two grades per day. enjoy these years.

      • Krissy,

        So many days God whispers to my soul, “grace.” Raising kids is such a gift, but so hard too.

      • Thank you for the encouragement krissy! It is true, and I am thanful I get to raise them and love them even on these days when anxiety seems to take over me. I need to learn to trust and hear God more. Thank you again, I dont have christian friends to talk to so your comment was nice to read, hugs!

        • you are welcome. hang in there. there’s so many moms in the same area of life right now but it goes by fast and we can’t go back. rejoice in the little surprised of each day and enjoy the small things.

  4. “Why I’m Having an Identity Crisis”..Indeed! Put down your phone! Sorry; but that is not where your priority comes from..it is not an instrument of peace. Try leaving it down unless something really important comes up and I bet you will be amazed at what happens. Yes, I know I am old fashioned; but I have lived long enough to understand how much confusion is happening because our priorities are messed up because of the phone info. Perhaps consider if Jesus spent as much time on the phone. God bless you!

    • I think personally moms need a second a day to even check the weather..the news or the outside world ( usually on our phones!!). I’m on my phone now getting my daily encouragement from this post before I step into a long day of nonstop mothering work without my phone on.
      I see both sides..some moms are too busy caring about others on their phones all day but other moms get 15 min to themselves a day to check the weather. it’s a balance to have something for oneself and to give nonstop.

  5. *sigh* A little over a year ago, I could have written this post word-for-word (actually, I wrote something along the same lines LOL). You are 100% on point. Looking for satisfaction and identity in anything or anyone other than Christ is like trying to fill a black hole.

    Confession: I used to love my kids, but hate mothering. As an only child who’s now a nother of seven, I felt woefully unequipped and longed for God to give me something else to do that would make me feel accomplished — because momming and homeschooling these folks wasn’t doing it.

    Anjuli, these words are IMPORTANT, maybe even more important than you know. It was the perspective shift you mention here that put me on a new trajectory. Real talk, there are still days when I feel like I’m trying to pour out of an empty cup, and I lose my ish because I just want to be a person for 5 minutes. However, it’s MUCH better. So. Much. Better.

    Thank you for sharing these beautiful, vulnerable words, friend.

    • Alissa-

      Thank you! Your comment was so honest and refreshing and encouraging. WOW. I don’t hear many people say they hated mothering. I understand what you mean perfectly. THANK YOU!

      Anjuli

    • Honey Girl Alissa – if you can get yourself out of bed every morning, feed and clothe your SEVEN! children plus homeschool – you are ROCK STAR!! I cannot begin to think how overwhelming this is, but just remember 1) to take a deep breath, 2) there’s always tomorrow and 3) HE’s GOT THIS! (Maybe I should’ve put this one first lol!)

  6. I have no kids. But I don’t know what it is like to be a busy Mum. Having to get kids ready the next day. First yourself up before the kids even wake up. You hear the kids say Mum. Mum then MUM in a load voice. Your not that long up. The day before everything has went wrong for you. If it went wrong for you. You just want today to go smoothly for you. You as Mum want a quite day. What is quite day. Sure your Mum. You have kids. You got to see to them. Get them ready for School or Nursery or the Childminders. How I know theses things my sister’s have kids. When they were that age. They had off days they wanted the next day to be quite. But no they say it was not a quite day. They were not saved. So I Would go into prayer for them as I am the only in my family saved. They didn’t know that. They say what a day. Kids screaming. Mum Mum. All they wanted is peace and quite and had to see too them. I knew they love them. But then they where tired and stressed. Had too have the energy to look at them. Say I love you too them. Plus look after them. I was praying for them. Asking God to give them the strength to cope. As I knew they end up saying to their kids why don’t you go play with your toys give Mum five minutes peace. When their Kids just wanted their Mum. I knew it was God had answered my prayers. Made my sister’s appreciate their kids. Not take out their mood on them. Be glad to have them. Be glad to be their lovely Mum. As they stopped looked at them and were glad they were their kids. My prayers where answered. I could not tell them that. As they wouldn’t believe me. As they say I was daft. But God works mysterious ways. What aparful things prayer is. Love todays reading. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx

  7. THANKYOU. this week I told my friend I felt like I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m in that boat as mom..homeschool teacher..housewife..and endless demands. so of course when a mom doesn’t get 40 min a day to herself she losses herself identity.
    I honestly don’t care what the outside world is doing.. wearing , saying or following. I do seek more and more time with God to fill up my heart & restore my joy.
    I was sure as you wrote this you lived here..ha ha… “mom mom mom “is a constant here too but I’m thankful to have advice to give them before they are grown up and out the door into this world.

    stay strong in Christ and know you are making a huge difference by being that mom.

  8. This is brave and profound… I’ve never thought about a starving, desperate identity. But it’s absolutely true. If I’m trying to satisfy that longing for (everything) with whichever form of perfection I crave, the desperation will never end because I’ll fail, or I’ll succeed and fear failing next time. The only answer and peace is to find satisfaction in Christ and the identity He gives me. I’ll be thinking about this today!!!!! Thank you for your honest and wise sharing.

  9. Anjuli,

    Such raw open honesty-thank you. Everyone wants to tie their identity to something or someone. The world says do, accomplish, be more-show me the accolades. Then you are someone. Funny thing is when people achieve all that they find they aren’t all that happy. Sure the world may love them, but deep inside they aren’t content. It is only when God fills you up that your identity can have peace. The wisest man on Earth Solomon said that everything is foolishness. In Ecclesiastes 2:25-26 for without God, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness. Only when we completely surrender our whole lives to God will we have complete peace & identity.

    Blessings 🙂

  10. Dear Anjuli, Thank you so much for sharing,I so needed to read your message,especially striking my heart are your words, “…and all of your ‘not enoughs’ are welcome here.” Not just allowed,or tolerated, but welcomed by Jesus, that is so freeing and powerful to hear. God bless. ❤

  11. Anjuli
    I’m always delighted to see your name pop up in my nightly (check in) to incourage. A raw true post that we all have been there shared similar thoughts, compared, been frustrated. But God sees us and he doesn’t think the way we think about ourselves. It’s taken me a while but I’m Gods masterpiece and I sometimes when I see a bad thought coming or think it, I tell myself right that’s not true. I’m Gods masterpiece do it’s definitely not true. Or I think nope – not going there today and change my mindset. Thank you for sharing – you are amazing!!