May This Be a Year of Ripening

May This Be a Year of Ripening

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I was a bully as a child. I wasn’t the kind who kicked other kids around at recess or who intimidated others with my size. My bullying was quieter, more subtle. I threatened to end a friendship with a girl I called my best friend if she didn’t give me the prize she’d received in class. I was mean to my table partner and drew a line down the middle of our shared desk that he didn’t dare cross. I was bossy, a tattletale, and I tried to make belonging happen through coercion instead of love. 

If we met today, it would be hard for you to believe I was once like that. It’s even difficult for me to fathom it. Now, I am, to the best of my ability, gentle, attentive, and compassionate. I try to lead and live with kindness instead of commanding fear and expecting submission. I hold space for other people’s pain, their joy, their growth, and everything in between. It’s a wonder one can change so drastically in a lifetime.

But that’s what it took – a lifetime. It’s been decades since I was that elementary-aged bully, but the undoing of that behavior and working through my insecurity, my unhealthy need to people-please, my imbalanced approach to friendships required those years. I’ve hurt people, made mistakes, learned the same lessons again and again, and even now, as I begin my middle-aged years, there is more to uncover, shed, and understand for the first time or the millionth time. 

As a new year has begun, I’ve been reflecting on my younger self and all the unpleasant, imperfect versions of myself I used to be. I’m prone to berating and shaming those old selves out of embarrassment, but they are still me. I couldn’t have become who I am now without having lived as I had. This process reminds me of a persimmon. The astringent varieties of persimmons need time for their hard, tannic flesh to become soft and sweet. Whether hanging on a tree or lying on the counter, the persimmon will only become enjoyable to the taste when it’s gone through the internal work of ripening, as intended, with the passing of time. 

So I’m seeing the year ahead as another twelve months of ripening. I’m choosing to embrace who I’ve been and to show myself – and all my past selves – the grace I now so generously extend to others. From that place of love, I can approach whatever this year holds for me with openness and gentleness, with no hurry or rush. I don’t have to aim for radical transformation or massive success or even making the most of every possible opportunity set before me. Instead, I want the maturity that comes with the slow ripening of character and soul. I want wisdom and peace to mark my days. I want faithfulness to create a pleasing aroma from my life. I want to bring flourishing wherever I go, giving life to all the people I meet and the spaces I inhabit. 

Somehow in those childhood days of bullying, God began His good work in me, and He’s still up to that work today. And if you look at your own life, with all the paths you’ve taken, the ups and downs, the twists and turns, I wonder if you can see how He had started a good work in you too. As you make your plans and write down your goals, I pray you know that, yes, He cares for where you’re headed this year, but He’s been patiently, lovingly tending to your growth all along. May this be a year of ripening for you too. 

I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6 (CSB)

 

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God’s Grace for You Will Never End

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I was the happiest graduate at my college graduation. I felt like a beam of light floating across the stage. . . because I almost didn’t make it there.

During the middle of my junior year, disease exploded into my life like a missile. I finished my senior year doing three semesters’ worth of work in two, with one half the amount of energy as my former self. I often couldn’t sit through class because of pain, and my roommates frequently had to cut my food for me at dinner or drive me across campus because walking was too hard. There were many days I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation, let alone be physically able to walk across the stage.

But I did.

And I made it there because others gave me enough grace to keep showing up, even when it was nearly too hard.

Professors gave me extensions on papers. Friends carried my books across campus when I couldn’t. My roommates rubbed my aching hands and back when I couldn’t stand another minute of pain. I endured because they embraced me. Weakness included.

We companion each other into courage.

We bless each other into believing that the brokenness we are carrying won’t keep us from beauty and bravery.

And we don’t stop needing that blessing, every time brokenness is weighing us down.

When I was in the throes of figuring out the story arc and content of my second book, a fellow author reached out to encourage me. She said a dear friend of their family’s was reading my first book and finding so much resonance within it, especially since she had just been diagnosed with one of the same autoimmune diseases as I have. Apparently Heather was curled up on their couch reading and couldn’t stop shouting, “I can’t believe she has the same disease as me!”

I instantly burst into tears when I got my friend’s text, because when I was Heather’s age, the pain of longing to meet someone else who was young and sick like me nearly tore me in two. I wrote the book she was reading, This Too Shall Last, so that others could feel the comfort I longed to receive: to hear and see that their stories mattered, that stories that include ongoing suffering can still be brimming with grace.

Seeing our own struggle reflected in someone else’s story can carve out space to be strong.

Hearing someone else acknowledge the heaviness of hard things can give us hope that the weight won’t crush us.

Because of Heather, I was feeling energized to keep writing, trusting the same solidarity that was strengthening me to keep showing up would strengthen my next book’s readers to do so as well.

Two years ago, the days leading up to my birthday were especially painful. The treatment for my disease was failing, and I needed insurance approval to try something new. Fear about my future capacity pinned me down in discouragement. One night, I begged God, “Please, renew my joy. Please, restore my hope.”

On my birthday, I opened up Instagram and saw that the same author friend who encouraged me was celebrating Heather’s college graduation that very day. The light I felt walking across my graduation stage lit up within me again because I saw it reflected in Heather’s face too.

“Heather,” I commented, “I know you don’t know me, but I want you to know the perseverance that brought you to today is beautiful. Soak in this joy. You made it. And you’ll keep making it. God’s grace for you will never end.”

Like news of impending victory for a war long fought, Heather’s perseverance seized me with hope. Witnessing the grace of God empowering another young woman to endure disease while seeking a career illuminated the grace that still surrounds me. Knowing that my friend and her family had supported Heather to be able to keep hoping expanded my hope that I will continue to be supported too.

Gratitude for grace was the light stretching across that graduation stage over a decade ago. And gratitude for grace was piercing my darkness yet again.

And now, two years later almost to the week, I’m finding myself heavy-hearted again. Just as I started recalling the story of Heather and renewed hope, another friend texted me, speaking into today’s struggle. She acknowledged the real challenges I am facing in this season, named that the grief is worthy of feeling and sharing, and even let me know my birthday gift should arrive Friday.

A pile of used tissues is cluttering up my desk and my shoulders are still a little slumped with sadness, but in my friend’s solidarity, I am sensing more space.

The compassion we give each other grows our capacity to be courageous yet again.

The grief and groans we witness in each other give us the grit to go on.

I think of Heather and I think of what is still hard, and I know grace is still here.

God’s grace for me will never end.

God’s grace for you will never end.

Need strength for your own small, hard moments? Borrow some from K.J.’s newest book, The Book of Common Courage: Prayers and Poems to Find Strength in Small Moments. It’s out on January 17th and available to order now.

 

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Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom

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As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
John 15:9–11 (NIV)

We may want wisdom. We might genuinely want to obey God because we love Him. But what happens when His direction seems to go against the logic and trusted advice of our community? What should we do when there seems to be more than one right answer or multiple paths we could take? What about the times when we obey but life doesn’t work out the way we thought it would? What if obedience means giving up everything?

The Spirit will lead us to truth, and wisdom is obeying even if. Even if it doesn’t make logical sense. Even if it looks like foolishness to others. Even if God is the only one who keeps confirming the same thing over and over again. Will you take steps to say yes to God, to trust Him, even if?

When I was in pastoral ministry, I had no dreams or plans to leave my job. I felt called to the church where I worked. I was happy to be serving people I cared for and content living in a city I had fallen in love with. I was fully committed to the work God was doing there and was ready to settle down, raise my family, and live the rest of my life right where I was.

But about six years into it, God began to close that chapter — both my time in ministry and our life as we knew it. He was redirecting us back home. I sat with this quietly for a year, unsure of what to make of it and with no concrete plans of what we were supposed to do next. It not only seemed like foolishness, but it felt backwards. We were moving in with my in-laws to live in the home my husband grew up in.

But God brought up the same messages of home and family again and again through that year of seeking wisdom. And even though our ducks weren’t in a row before we moved, we knew in our gut that the timing was right, that God would be with us, and that He would show us each next step.

It’s been five years now, and though I’m not any clearer on a five-year plan, I’ve come to the point where I don’t need one anymore. God has again proven Himself trustworthy as always — through deep pits of depression, through painful moments in our marriage, and through the confusion of career changes for me and my husband.

Each yes has led to the next yes, and God’s wisdom, God’s Spirit, has been faithful to guide us in every “even if” and “even when.”

And now I understand what John 15:11 means: God’s joy has been in me, and my joy is full, complete — even if, even when.

What is something God is inviting you into that you need to obey?

LORD, help me reframe my idea of obedience from one of dread and doom to one of love and joy. Thank You for the guarantee that Your Spirit will lead me to truth and to wisdom. Even when I can’t see its worth, help me choose wisdom. Even if I look foolish to others, help me take steps toward saying yes to You. I want to experience the joy of obedience as I learn to become wise. Meet me where I am, God, and take me where You want me to be. Amen.

We all want and need wisdom, but how do we get it?

Meet Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom, the new (in)courage Bible study from DaySpring, written by Grace P. Cho and featuring stories from your favorite (in)courage writers.

When we’re in a relationship with a toxic person and need boundaries, when our churches are divided by theological differences, when we don’t know how to navigate unexpected difficulties, knowing what the right, good, or wise thing to do is difficult. So where do we begin?

If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, this is the next study for you.

Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom teaches that wisdom is learned by understanding knowledge, listening to the Holy Spirit, experiencing struggle, being in community, and practicing what we learn over a lifetime. It won’t offer solutions to specific problems, but it will offer spiritual insight and practical guided questions throughout the study to help you seek God and gain the wisdom you need.

Our prayer is that this study will encourage you to seek the Lord and the wisdom He offers each one of us. Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom releases at the end of January, and we are SO excited to see how God will use it to speak to your heart. Sign up below to get a FREE full week of Bible study from Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom, and order your copy today!

Join the online study and let’s seek hearts of wisdom — together.

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How to Handle an Impossible Task

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Sometimes, tasks seem impossible because they are overwhelmingly huge. The effort to do the thing is not possible for one person–or maybe even several. Those sorts of challenges feel insurmountable. But when it comes to simple tasks, those can feel impossible just because of the weight they carry in my heart.

My house is over 100 years old which means that it leans. I couldn’t tell you which direction because overall the house leans west, but some rooms seem to shift a bit to the north and my kitchen has a south-ish sort of slant to it. This is what happens when a house settles. And while that brings charm and the lack of pressure to have everything straight on a wall that might be crooked, it also means that furniture can only be arranged in so many patterns.

For example, my bed can only sit against one wall where my feet are a bit lower than my head because if I put it elsewhere, I’d be leaning a tad to the left or right and something tells me my chiropractor wouldn’t love that. I have, not surprisingly, entirely too many bookshelves in my home which makes moving things . . . heavy. But when I got a new-to-me chair that snugly fits in a corner of the house, I knew I needed to move most other pieces in that room to make space. For weeks, I avoided this task. I just let half of my bedroom sit like the cluttered attic in Jumanji. There was no other place to really put this oversized chair and the bookshelves without them leaning forward and all the books falling to the ground. Not ideal.

So I did what any grown woman would: I just froze and put it off, waiting for my house to magically level so I could put bookshelves anywhere I wanted without this concern. I was stuck in my own overwhelm, frustrated that my room felt out of sorts, but unable to gather the gumption to do the dang thing.

And then, my friend Shauna came over today for lunch and before she left, I asked her to help me figure out the puzzle of bedroom furniture because it’s all a riddle and nothing felt quite right. Shauna is kind and honest and she hmm’d and haww’d with me before making the suggestion of moving a bookshelf to a place it had never been. This was a ridiculous idea because of the whole books-falling-forward-to-the-ground problem. But then, I remembered that I had some little shingles of wood for leveling things out.

Together, we worked to move and level the shelf. I held it in place and Shauna helped adjust the thin pieces of wood beneath the shelf’s frame and suddenly, it worked. No falling books, no swaying or leaning. Just a level bookshelf that actually holds books because my friend saw a way to make it work. Amazing how an extra set of hands really does make work lighter.

Caught in my own perspective and overwhelm, I never would have chosen this arrangement. But with the help of a friend? I was able to adjust and move things to a better place and it helped turn my house into a home.

As a single gal, I often lack the perspective of another person in the day-to-day and it can feel lonely at times. But when Shauna was willing to enter the mess and help see a way to order the chaos, it was a sweet reminder of Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” I’m sure she didn’t overthink this collaboration, she was just present in a moment that represented more than I let on. She was just…a friend willing to help.

Maybe you know someone who is struggling because they live alone. Perhaps they need someone to say, “Hey, how can I help you out this week? What can I offer in the way of little tasks that feel overwhelming?” Or maybe it’s a friend who has been stressed at work. What if you reached out and brought them a meal or said, “I’m at the store — need anything?” Small input goes a long way.

Two provides perspective. Two makes the task that felt a little impossible work. Two allows for leveling things out.

So as I sit in my comfy chair, I look at that bookshelf, nice and level (and a tad uphill from me) and I can see that if it weren’t for friendship, I would still be stuck. My room wouldn’t be as welcoming and I might still be feeling the weight of having to go it alone. But I know now that when I ask for help or offer it, I’m partaking in important community work. Doing things together is exactly how God wired us to live.

So thanks be to God for extra hands, old houses, and someone to help carry the load.

 

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As a New Year Begins

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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

Even though we wish we could see all that is to come this year, let’s open our hands and trust God with the unknown and the new. His goodness, love, and faithfulness continue to be true for us.

May you feel peace knowing that you are a new creation in Christ, that He will renew your heart and offer new mercies every day. May you resist the pressure and temptation to fill up a blank calendar with lofty resolutions and appointments that will stretch you thin. May you remember that you are more than any goal met, any resolution kept, any to-do list checked. You are loved just as you are.

May you find rest in that truth.

A prayer for 2023:

Lord, there is so much ahead of us that we can’t foresee, so much we wish we could control but can’t. We hold all our questions, desires, and longings out to You. We want to trust You, but we acknowledge that we need help with that sometimes. Help us remember who we are, through the lens and truth of who You are. Thank You that we can be anchored in faith when we are tethered to You. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen. 

Happy New Year, friends!

No Matter What You’ve Faced This Year

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Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!
Lamentations 3:21-23 (CSB)

You made it to the end of the year. Because of God’s faithful love, you were not overcome. You did not perish. Today is the last day of this year, and tomorrow ushers in a whole new one along with God’s faithfulness to see us through it all.

No matter what you’ve faced this year, tomorrow is full of new mercies. Because of God’s grace and forgiveness, we are offered a new heart and a new spirit (Ezekiel 36:26-27). When we accept the gift of new life in Christ, God promises to give us a heart that is once again soft and a spirit that is open to His guiding.

As we close out this year, reflecting on all that has happened in the past 365 days, all the ways we’ve grown and struggled and loved and learned, let’s remember that a new day is coming. God will give us a new heart — as well as a new year.

Happy last day of 2022, friends. May your heart feel renewed, refreshed, and ready to welcome 2023.

What’s Your Word?

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I wonder if we’d be so gung-ho about New Year’s resolutions if January didn’t come so quickly after December. 

The holiday season, with all its fun and festivities and fa-la-las, also gives us obligations, stress, and bullet lists (and perhaps credit card bills) a mile long. After pushing ourselves to exhaustion or gorging ourselves on red and green candies (No, YOU ate an entire bag of peanut M&Ms in one day!), the idea of a new day, month, year is more than a breath of fresh air. It’s a gulp of oxygen as we feel ourselves drowning in year-end excess and (often unmet) expectations. 

I’m so desperate for a fresh slate, a new start, I get a little swoony over all things New Year’s resolutions. My knees feel weak at the thought of more check boxes, and I get a little breathless as I organize all my hopes and dreams and plans into the most perfect outline or spreadsheet you’ve ever seen. 

Yeah, it’s true. I totally get a crush on New Year’s resolutions, the bad boy of all goal-setting strategies, the one I swear off every year because he’ll just end up hurting me. That one. Yes, I fall for his charm (The possibilities! The potential!) every time. 

But before we start a list of all the many, many ways we’re going to be better, do more, work harder or smarter — or both! — this year, let’s take a time out. Let’s breathe in deep with our clean calendars and pretty paper journals, and let’s boil all our best intentions and goals and ambitions down a little. 

DaySpring’s Word of the Year helps me do just that.

DaySpring’s Word of the Year encourages us to forget the pressure of resolutions and instead, focus on just ONE word. The idea is that we focus on this one word every day, all year long — one word that sums up who we want to be or how we want to live. DaySpring’s Word of the Year is what snaps me out of my dreamy resolution fog and grounds me — not just in January but every month of the year. 

Whether I’m brainstorming writing topics and business ideas, pinning recipes to try and crafts to make, or identifying all the ways I need to try harder and be better, I can easily lose my mind in the more!-more!-more! approach to making my lists for January and beyond. I then can move towards the overwhelmed, I-can’t-possibly-do-any-of-this, I’m-going-to-hide-under-the-covers reaction to my lists in the face of reality. 

Focusing on just one word for the year keeps me centered, and it sets me up for a whole lot more success and satisfaction. Especially because when I force myself to funnel my hopes and goals for an entire year into a single word or phrase, I also force myself to focus on what truly matters and what will make an eternal difference in my life and the lives of those I care about. 

See? Way more satisfying than pretending like this is the year I’m going to start flossing every day. 

By Mary Carver, as featured in Everyday Faith Magazine.

We’re excited to share with you a fun, EASY way to kick off your new year — the Word of The Year quiz from DaySpring! The simple questions will lead you to one word that will remind you of God’s truth all year long and inspire you to live your faith every day.

Click here to take the short quiz and find your word — nothing overwhelming about that! Once you have your word, download the graphic that goes with your word and share it on social media. Be sure to tag @incourage so we can cheer you on!

Then come back here and share your word in the comments, along with what it means to you. As an added bonus, we’re giving one lucky commenter* a $100 shopping spree to DaySpring.com!

Take the DaySpring Word of the Year quiz and let us help you discover who God is calling you to be in 2023!

Let’s lean in together. What’s your word?

 

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*Giveaway open until 1/4/23 at 11:59pm to US addresses only.

Three Powerful Declarations for Every Day in the New Year (starting now!)

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Do you have any idea where you were and what you woke up thinking about on New Year’s Day ten years ago? As implausible as it sounds, I remember well.

The day after Christmas, I had torn my meniscus, three seconds of blinding pain that would soon lead to surgery. Adding insult to injury, we had a new insurance policy that wouldn’t go into effect until six days later. My husband had resigned from his job that had given us a magical year in Germany, and three weeks without coverage hadn’t seemed like much of a risk at the time; up until that fateful moment, I hadn’t had a sick visit in years.

Our downstairs guest bedroom was a Godsend. Any movement at all was painful to my knee, so even the idea of climbing stairs to get to our bedroom almost made me cry.

It is likely that because of my pain and displacement, I remember exactly where I was and what I was thinking when I woke up on January 1, 2013 –

This is the year I turn 50.

My heart felt uncharacteristically desperate and needy. Our future had never been more uncertain. Though we were sure about Tad’s decision to leave his job, we didn’t yet know what our next move would be. And, with neither of us working at Christmas, it had been a very subdued holiday season. Except for family, we limited time with other people. Our circumstances felt too complicated to explain, but impossile to ignore. While I’m an open book, my husband is extremely private, and trying to pretend an elephant wasn’t in the room was exhausting.

My 50th birthday arrived with the likelihood we would be moving out of state. As well as I could, I battled the dread that companioned the idea of starting over again. At 40, we had also moved to a new state, but this time our oldest two would be in college and our youngest son wouldn’t have his siblings around to help navigate the challenges of moving. Back then, I had embraced the adventure and arrived in my new hometown with arms open wide. Now, I felt like I was failing my kid, and clouds of fear dampened my usually sunny disposition.

Scripture had taught me that fear wasn’t from God, and His promises became very personal:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare
and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me
and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me,
when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 19:11-13 (ESV)

Trusting in God’s goodness and finding His Word to be trustworthy filled me with a confident expectation for my future. Keeping my attention on Jesus instead of the uncertainties in our lives helped to keep fear at a distance.

Over the last ten years, God has provided in ways that completely surprised me. Laid up in our guest room with a swollen knee and feeling the weight of half a century, it never occurred to me that our lives were about to get better. What a gift to see that through every joy and celebration or heartbreak and sorrow, God really is working all things together for good.

With 2023 just a few days away, you might guess what I’ve already been contemplating –

This is the year I turn 60!

It’s sobering to know you’ve celebrated more yesterdays than tomorrows. The wonderful thing about getting older, though, is all you’ve learned along the way. Job 12:12 teaches that “Wisdom is with the aged, And with long life comes understanding.” You don’t get to 60 without gaining priceless experience.

Though I’m not nursing a torn meniscus and facing a life-altering move, I am every bit as needy as I was ten years ago — but that doesn’t bother me like it used to. I’ve learned that my neediness is what God uses to draw me closer.

As the new year approaches, and to fight any fears associated with my milestone birthday, I’m declaring three things I know to be true:

Every day is an opportunity. One day = 24 hours. That’s 1,440 minutes, 86,400 moments. Our world is dark and broken, people are fighting battles; but we can make a difference — we get to make a difference — by the choices we make and how we treat others. Maybe today you can share the Gospel or meet a simple need. Every day brings opportunity to offer love and kindness in word or deed. I don’t want to miss the chance to reflect God in ordinary, everyday circumstances.

Age doesn’t define you, it refines you. Our experiences – good, bad, joyful, or tragic – shape us into the person we’re called to be. There’s no waste in the economy of God, and there’s no fast track for what we learn over time and through experience. The heartaches and hardships of our lives are holy opportunities for God to reveal Himself in ways we’d never otherwise see. That’s beautiful and hopeful. I want to embrace my age as the gift it is, not begrudge or apologize for it.

The Gospel changes everything. What is the misbelief, disbelief, or unbelief that blinds me? I want to see all of life through the lens of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection because it impacts how I view the world around me and how I respond. Knowing my sins are forgiven and I am made righteous in Christ gives me hope for today. Getting to know Jesus through His words, actions, and testimonies of His friends makes me want to follow Him. And, that He defeated death and is saving a place for me in eternity gives me peace amidst life’s chaos.

Fear and uncertainty can demand our attention, but I’ve found it helps to speak truth into my own heart and mind. These “declarations” are a start as I face a big year. What are you declaring for 2023 that might offer encouragement to others?

 

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You Don’t Have to Earn the Gift

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Earlier this year I turned forty. I actually felt excited to embrace this milestone birthday. Excited to celebrate all that God has done in the first four decades of my life and all that He will yet do. Plus, I’m never one to shy away from presents. (It’s okay that there’s still a giddy little girl with freckles and pigtails inside me, right?)

I felt so loved by the thoughtfulness of friends and family, and elated about two presents in particular: a gift certificate from my sister for an hour massage, and a TJ Maxx gift card from my mom. I rarely splurge on myself in these ways, so the opportunity to kick off my forties with melting muscle stress and a new outfit thrilled me.

Given my gift-receiving delight, you’ll probably be as surprised as I was that ten months later, those gift certificates were still in my wallet.

What was my issue? I chided myself. It’s not like I don’t like having new clothes! It’s not like I don’t have plenty of knots in my neck aching to be tended to. So why hadn’t I enjoyed the benefits of these generous gifts?

This was the internal dialogue game I played. But I actually already knew the answer — I just didn’t want to admit it. Not even to myself.

The truth was, I hadn’t gone shopping, I hadn’t scheduled a massage because I felt like I had to earn it.

I realized turning forty brought with it a wealth of blessings – greater wisdom, gratitude, and patience. But it also had ushered in a shift I wasn’t so keen on – a greater waistline. Over the year leading up to my birthday, I had slowly gained twenty pounds. Every time I thought about the joy of perusing the racks of TJ Maxx, looking for a great deals and styles to suit my new decade of life, I thought about those pounds. Do you really want to go up a size? Just wait till you slim down, I’d tell myself.

A similar “just wait” game continued when it came to my massage. Just wait till you finish that project. Just wait till you reach that milestone. Just wait till you overcome that hurdle. In other words, Just wait till you deserve it.

You probably already see with glaring clarity what took me ten months to untangle: a gift is never meant to be earned; a gift is simply meant to be received.

Somehow I felt like I had to earn – had to prove that I deserved – these gifts of extravagant care and kindness. The reasons are probably layered enough to warrant several sessions back in therapy: societal expectations of beauty, misplaced sense of identity, misbelief that my value lies in how I look and what I do, and the list goes on. While these issues are definitely worth me exploring, I also realized what a picture this was of how so many of us often treat our gifts from God.

We know that God has given us the gifts of His extravagant love, unconditional forgiveness, amazing grace, peace that surpasses understanding, relentless hope, boundless joy, and abundant strength. But . . . how often do you hold His gifts at arm’s length? How often do you leave them tucked in your Bible, hidden in your proverbial wallet because you secretly feel like you have to do more, clean up, get it together before you really embrace all God is offering you?

Scripture is super clear about God’s gifts: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV). For the people in the back (including me): NOT YOUR OWN DOING. There is no grace plus. No God’s grace plus our effort. No God’s grace plus our grit or morality or smaller size jeans.

We were never meant to work for God’s favor, His love, His forgiveness, His acceptance, or His saving grace. We simply get to show up and receive. Show up happy or sad. Show up fit or flabby. Show up acknowledging our own sin and brokenness and neediness and how we can’t fix any of it on our own and we don’t want to try to anymore!

I love the reminder in 1 John 3:1 (NIV): “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

It’s hard to break old patterns of thinking in order to accept gifts of lavish love. But in the same way my mom never intended me to lose ten pounds before buying a new sweater, and my sister never intended me to sweat, struggle, or strive before enjoying a massage, so God never intended for us to try to earn His love.

Are there any “just wait” stipulations swirling in your mind, holding you back from receiving God’s good gifts for you? Just wait till you’re stronger. Just wait till that relationship is fixed. Just wait till you prove yourself. Just wait . . . [fill in your blank.]

What if today you took that “just wait” and tossed it in the trash or put it firmly in God’s hands? It’s not yours to hold anymore. What is yours to hold? God’s lavish love.

After ten months, I booked a 60-minute deep-tissue massage and relished every minute. I let myself feel pampered and cared for – by the massage therapist, by my sister, and by my God from whom all blessings flow. The next day I spent a couple hours roaming the aisles of TJ Maxx. I didn’t rush myself. I chose not to berate myself for the changing shape of my 40-year-old body and larger jean size. I delighted in the opportunity to buy things that felt fun and pretty.

And I wondered why I had waited so long to simply receive it all.

 

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When Your Hope Is Wearing Thin

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O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel

My daughter is sick. It’s serious and it’s mysterious; we don’t know what’s causing it or how to treat it. We’ve tried every avenue available, and nothing has helped. Our hope is wearing thin.

It’s been going on long enough that I’m losing my grip on my belief that God is with us, that He will bring my family strength and healing and peace. It’s been going on long enough that I whispered, just once, in the dark where my kids couldn’t hear, “What if God doesn’t fix this?”

A few years ago when I wrote Create in Me a Heart of Hope, I was searching for reasons to hope when the world is confusing and ugly. After seeing horrible, unexplainable things happen to people I loved, and also watching the news and experiencing the same “unprecedented times” as the rest of the world, my faith was shaken and I found it hard to hope the way I always had before.

Writing that Bible study was a gift and truly saved me in a dark time, bringing me back to what I knew to be true and revealing to me more layers and textures and angles of that Truth than I’d previously understood.

So I know about hope. But it’s one thing to rewrap my arms around hope in a general sense — the kind that feels warm and fuzzy while still having the real bones of what Scripture teaches us about who God is and why He is our hope and how He gives us hope. And it’s another thing altogether to hold on to hope when my actual life is pulling me apart, piece by piece, tossing aside promises I’ve clung to and throwing unanswered prayers (or prayers that get a big fat “no” in response) in my face. It’s hard to hope when I feel like I’m fighting the biggest battle of my life alone.

My daughter is sick for so long that we no longer measure this season in weeks. As I’m writing this, it’s been more than two months.

And I get it! That’s not that long in comparison to a whole lot of things experienced by a whole lot of people. If that’s you, I’m so sorry you’ve been suffering for so long. But as anyone who’s faced trauma knows, when you’re in it, it feels like an eternity. And that feeling is overwhelming, whether your pain started an hour ago, a month ago, a year ago, or a lifetime ago.

I began this calendar year determined to read through the entire Bible chronologically. But a difficult year has taken its toll, and I’ve gotten out of the habit of regularly reading Scripture. The thing about the Bible, though, is that no matter how long we neglect it and no matter how far away we wander, it’s here for us when we return.

I guess it’s like God that way.

A couple weeks ago, the message at church began with the story of Jesus calling Peter and Andrew to follow Him (Luke 5:1-11). The sermon had little to do with hope or trust or healing or hard times. But thinking about those fishermen hearing someone tell them to put their nets out one more time, despite the long hours they’d just spent doing that very thing with no results? And imagining their resignation coupled with the tiniest sliver of hope as they did what He said? And then? When their nets were filled with so many fish it nearly capsized their boat?! Because they’d had just enough hope or, at least obedience, to trust Jesus and try one more time?!

Well, if you think I didn’t sit in that service sobbing like a baby, you would be wrong. At that moment the reason for my hope came flooding back. I remembered those nets full of fish. I remembered the woman who’d been bleeding for more than a decade, reaching for the hem of Jesus’s cloak (Mark 5:25-34), and the religious leader whose daughter had already died (Matthew 9:18-26). I remembered Sarah and Ruth and Hannah and Anna. I remembered the shepherds in the field and the weary world that pined for centuries, waiting for a Savior.

And I remembered the words of a melancholy hymn.

My daughter is still sick, and on the day I’m writing this, I’ve cried a lot of tears. I’m still struggling to hope, but I remember why I hope — and in whom I hope. I know God may continue to say no when I pray (or He may say wait or not yet or not that way). But I’m going to trust that He won’t leave us in this dark place, that He’s never left us. Christmas might be gone for now, but my hope is not — and I will keep singing carols of gloomy clouds of night and lonely exile, while still asking, “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.”

Are you in a season of waiting? Of pain or confusion? That can make this festive season so much harder, I know. So today I pray that you and I can remember why we hope, that we can join our voices as we fall on our knees in weariness, thankfulness, sadness, and whatever measure of belief we can muster as we sing, “Come.” As we whisper, “Are you still there?”

Lord, be with us.

 

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The Hard Work of Healing

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The practitioner read my results, turned to me and said, “You are exhausted!” Surprised and relieved by her declaration, I sat up straight to expel a greater exhale. The test results amplified what I’d been trying to articulate for months. I was exhausted! To be clear, I was not just worn out or weary, drained or depleted. I did not feel like I needed a nap or retreat. I had been feeling busted beyond repair – as if life had been drained from me and there were no reserves and no energy to muster replenishment.

I felt like I needed to press the stop button on my life, lie comatose for about a month, and then be restored. 

A few years ago, I began experiencing chest pains and headaches. Years and rounds of cardio and pulmonary testing left me with three different inhalers and no specific diagnosis. More recently, I began feeling like I could not get enough oxygen. I was scared. The act of having to train my husband and children how to use my emergency inhaler spiraled me into despair. Again, I turned to God searching for answers. A friend proposed that mold may be growing in our home and causing my sickness. Environmental specialists tested our home and confirmed that I had been exposed to toxic mold spores growing in our HVAC system. 

Once I had answers, I sprinted towards solutions. I enrolled in a twelve-week intense detox/cleanse protocol to eliminate mold and other toxins from my body. I invited people to share their mold sickness stories with me. Learning from other people’s experiences helped me feel hopeful. And when someone asked me how I was doing, I gave an honest answer: I’m suffering from long-term toxic mold exposure and want to be healed. 

When I shared my honest answer on a routine visit to my chiropractor, she responded, “Dr. Michelle, across the hall, specializes in getting mold out of the body.” A few days later, I sat across from Dr. Michelle as she used morphogenic field technique (MTF) to test energy in my organs and muscles. She explained that the results indicated that my body’s systems had been working extremely hard for an extended time trying to eliminate the mold toxins from my body. My adrenals were shot. My lungs were compromised. This is how, without me uttering a word, she knew the magnitude of my exhaustion. She then crafted a healing protocol to replenish my body so that it could grow strong enough to eliminate toxins.

Then, the hard work began. I had to start my mornings two hours earlier than usual for the daily ‘Ten Steps’ that helped my body flush toxins and stored waste. This included things like oil pulling, dry brushing, neti potting, at least twenty minutes of sitting in a sauna tent, making and drinking a heavy metal detox smoothie, and doing breathwork. The detox required a primary all-juicing diet. Prior to this protocol, I knew nothing about juicing or where to purchase potent quality herbs. So, I did a crash course in efficient juicers, batch juicing, and storing fresh pressed juice. I had to figure out where and how to purchase produce wholesale, locally, and when dining out, and how to navigate a menu to choose the cleanest and most nutrient-dense, toxin-free options. I even learned how to test my kidneys’ filtration levels to detect proper functioning. I was required to prioritize rest. I was advised to normalize saying “No” to any requests that caused stress or strain.

Over months, I committed myself to these healing protocols. I didn’t get to eat my special batch of birthday cookies. I missed out on my annual candy corn indulgence during Halloween. For Thanksgiving, I ate no turkey or sweet potato pie. When I shared about the healing protocols with friends who asked, they responded in disbelief. “That’s brutal!” they said. Yes, at times it feels that way, but it simultaneously feels beautiful! Yes, it is a whole lot of work – hard work. But it is the hard work of healing. It is the hard work of love. I am giving myself the time, attention, and support needed to be replenished and restored. 

Two weeks in, my foggy brain cleared. Exhaustion lifted. My skin began to glow. Monthly, Dr. Michelle tests my body’s energy, and each time the results tell the story of a body in repair. The healing protocols – research, learning, strategic nutrition, and focused care — are working new life in me. The daily ‘Ten Steps’ that started off feeling laborious eased into feeling special, like a luxury spa treatment. I’d always wanted to experience this type of abundance, but until now, had no idea how to live it.

Along the way, Spirit reminded me that THIS is what healing looks like. Instead of fighting sickness, healing is intentional love and support lavished upon the burdened parts of my body that have become weak, bruised, and depleted. The daily hours, the focused care, and months of commitment taught me that healing asks for a significant investment – one that I deserve because it’s what God wants for me (John 10:10). Healing wants me to not just acknowledge my suffering, but to seek restoration. Healing ushered me from isolation by calling in community –  people who shared their stories, wisdom, and professional experience. 

Through all of this, I am learning how to do things that improve my mindset and overall quality of life. I am doing hard things that I never thought I could do. Honestly, I am so proud of myself. 

While I am not certain what ‘finished’ will look like, the ongoing work of healing has already given me abundantly more than mold tried to steal from me. Isn’t that the way of God? He works through ALL things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Whatever kind of restoration you need today — whether that’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually — I pray that you will be strengthened to endure and embrace all that healing’s work has to offer you.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10 (NIV)

 

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For When You Dread the Day Ahead

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My eyelids slowly blinked the sleep away, groggily struggling to greet the new day. Foggy shapes started to find their edges as the soft blue glow of morning light peeked in from behind the closed curtains. There was always this fleeting moment of comfort as my mind lingered in dreamland. But as reality came more clearly into focus, an electrifying jolt of shock would inevitably strike my heart. Once again, I’d be jarred awake to the living nightmare that was now my life.

I would not awaken to find my one-month-old daughter sleeping peacefully in her pink bassinet beside the bed. I would not hear the gentle sound of her nasally breathing or her small cry for milk. Instead, I would live another day as a mother without her child.

I dreaded waking up in the days and months following her death. Our empty house felt like a tomb. Facing the days without my baby girl filled me with a new type of morning sickness — a mourning sickness that really felt more like a soul sickness.

No one wants their worst fears to be realized. No one chooses to wake up under a weighted blanket of dread. Yet, there I was. I found my thoughts repeated in Job’s first lament:

For the thing I feared has overtaken me, and what I dreaded has happened to me.
Job 3:25 (CSB)

In thinking not only of Job, but of Jesus and all the saints who walked unwanted paths and knew dread and fear, I discovered a truth I struggled to accept for myself. There is no skipping over dread. There is no pushing away the pain or running from the path set before us, although we might be tempted to try and do so.

This temptation to skip over the things we dread is one our Savior knew. In the wilderness, Satan tempted Jesus to bypass the way of suffering. But Jesus chose the way of suffering and endured by turning to the Word of God.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, on the eve of His crucifixion, grief and dread filled Jesus to the brim. Blood-like sweat dripped from Jesus’ forehead, mixing with the salty tears streaming down His distraught face. He prayed and asked for another way. Jesus knew what it meant to face a path He asked not to take, but He surrendered to God’s will and endured.

I used to think, with some snark: Sure, Jesus can endure suffering. He is God, after all. But, focused on Jesus’ divinity, I dismissed the fullness of His humanity. The more I leaned into the frailty found in Jesus’ humanity, I began to wonder: How do we — like Jesus — endure the days ahead?

Jesus did not endure the eve of His crucifixion by human strength. He endured it through supernatural equipping and provision — an angel that appears and strengthens Him. Jesus, the pioneer who walked unwanted paths, endured suffering by God’s strength . . . and by fixing His eyes on the joy set before Him.

Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:2-3 (NIV)

We endure the days ahead by acknowledging the dread and then choosing to fix our eyes upon Jesus. We follow where Jesus leads, not where dread leads.

Dread tried to pull me deep into my bed and deep into the dark, hopeless places in my head. Dread tried to predict future pain and push away possibility.

As much as I thought I knew what each day would hold after my daughter died, I didn’t. As I focused on the Lord and processed all my dread with Him, I was able to stay awake to new possibilities: How might God make His presence known to me? In what unexpected ways might God surprise me with His lovingkindness today?

I found help in practices like journaling prayers of lament, meditating on Scripture, and immersing myself in the beauty of God’s creation. It wasn’t easy, comfortable, or quick, but my newfound expectancy and delight in the Lord helped me face, move through, and eventually release the dread that held me captive.

Maybe you know this type of dread that comes with life after loss. But dread can come in other forms, too. Maybe your dread has to do with anticipating a difficult conversation, awaiting a phone call from the doctor’s office, or enduring another day in chronic pain.

When we’re facing dread over the days ahead, difficult paths and uncharted territory we’re struggling to navigate, we can seek the One who gets it — the One who has gone and goes before us . . . and whose Spirit strengthens and leads us.

If you’re walking through feelings of dread, what is one, small way you can set your focus on Jesus today?

Just As the Angels Said

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On this Christmas Day, we invite you to take a journey with storyteller Sherri Gragg as she leads us in a meditation of what Christ’s birth might have been like. This story is likely not the version you are accustomed to, but regardless of the details, we pray that your heart will be led to celebration and worship of our humble, miraculous Savior! Merry Christmas!

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Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
Luke 2:14–20 NIV

The rising sun breached the horizon behind the shepherds. The walls of Bethlehem were bathed in pale, silvery light. The men quickly made their way inside the city, then paused with uncertainty. The streets were as familiar to them as the rooms of their own homes, but which house held the Messiah?

They clustered together for a moment, trying to remember which families were expecting babies. Just then the midwife, her birthing stool hooked over her arm, rounded the corner.

“Ah!” Zachariah said with delight. “Do we have a new baby in Bethlehem?”

“We do!” she responded. “Young Joseph’s wife, Mary, gave birth to their first child just a few hours ago. A son!”

“Of course!” Judah exclaimed. “They came to town for the census. The wife was due to deliver a baby at any time.”

A few minutes later, the shepherds stood before Joseph’s family compound. Zachariah stepped forward and called into the courtyard.

“Joseph, son of Jacob!”

A moment later, the door to the home directly across the yard opened and Joseph stepped outside, wincing into the bright morning sunlight.

“Welcome!” the weary young father said as he motioned the shepherds forward. Zachariah led the way across the yard to where Joseph stood waiting for them.

“Joseph, we understand your wife has given birth to a son,” he began as the other men hung back nervously.

“Yes!” Joseph said proudly. “He was born just a few hours ago.”

Zachariah cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and then explained why he and his friends had come.

“We were in the fields watching the sheep at that same hour,” he said. “Suddenly an angel appeared in our midst, his robe shining as brightly as the sun. He said he came to bring us wonderful news that would be a source of joy for all people.”

Joseph’s eyes grew wide as the old shepherd continued. “The angel said the Messiah had been born right here in Bethlehem! He told us that we would find Him swaddled in cloths like a peasant child and lying in a manger. Then, the sky above us was filled with angels singing praises to God. They sang, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests’” (Luke 2:14).

“Is it true, Joseph?” Zachariah asked, his voice breaking. “Has Messiah truly come at last… as one of us?”

Joseph’s eyes filled with tears as he remembered his own angelic visitor many months before. The angel’s message had changed the young carpenter’s life. Joseph smiled and turned to open the door behind him.

“Come and see,” he said.

The shepherds gathered in the entryway and paused to allow their eyes to adjust to the dim light inside. Joseph led the way into the stable on the lower level where Mary was resting on fresh straw beside a manger hewn out of stone. Joseph explained to Mary why the shepherds had come to visit. She nodded, her eyes crinkling in a smile above her veil, and motioned for the men to come closer.

Timidly, the shepherds approached the manger. A small bundle was nestled into the straw. The tiny baby’s cheeks were round and pink. A dark, feathery swath of hair encircled His head. As they watched, the child began turning His head to the side, stretching His mouth wide in search of His mother’s milk.

“What is His name?” Judah asked softly.

“Yeshua,” Joseph answered.

“Yeshua… The Lord Saves,” Zachariah whispered in awe. “And He is wrapped in cloths like a shepherd’s babe…”

The men stood silently for a moment watching the child. Suddenly Judah spoke. “This is a Messiah for everyone, even shepherds like us! It really is ‘good news that will bring joy to all the people.’ Come! We must tell people!”

With one last glance at the baby in the manger, the men turned to retrace their steps back to the fields, proclaiming the good news of Jesus’s birth to everyone they met.

“Messiah has been born at last! An angel appeared to us as we kept watch over our flocks. He said we would find the baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger like a peasant child. We have seen it with our own eyes! It was just as the angel said.”

As written by Sherri Gragg in Advent: The Story of Christmas. Connect with Sherri on Instagram and her website.

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We’ve journeyed together through this ancient story for weeks, and now we’re here! Merry, merry Christmas. May your day be bright as you celebrate the Greatest Gift — the never-ending, amazing love of Jesus. He is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, and Prince of Peace, and He loves you dearly.

Like the angels and shepherds, we cry, “Glory to God in the highest!”

Merry Christmas, friends, from all of us here at (in)courage!

A Divine Birth Announcement

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On this Christmas Eve, we invite you to take a journey with storyteller Sherri Gragg as she leads us in a meditation of what Christ’s birth might have been like. This story is likely not the version you are accustomed to, but regardless of the details, we pray that your heart will be led to celebration and worship of our humble, miraculous Savior!

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And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
Luke 2:8-20 (NIV)

Judah stood to throw the stick into the flames, then walked away to gaze out over the moonlit field where a large herd of sheep bleated softly. He turned his eyes to the hills surrounding them. Each family had their own sheepfold on those hills — a cave with a rock wall leading out from each side. At night, the sheep were brought in from the fields to the safety of their fold. The shepherd lay down in the gap in the middle of the wall, serving as the door. Any predator or thief who came to harm the sheep would need to go through him first.

But Judah and his friends had no family sheepfold to call their own. They were camped in the fields at night because their sheep were special sheep. Judah was a temple shepherd, and the sheep in his care were Temple sheep, destined for sacrifice. The irony that he was guarding sacrificial sheep was not lost on Judah. Most people he met on the street each day considered shepherds to be more in need of atonement than others. He wanted to believe they were wrong, but with each new assault to his self-worth, it was getting harder and harder.*

He scanned the flock with a practiced eye watching for any disturbance, but the warm summer night was calm. The other shepherds settled into a companionable silence as they watched the animals. The only sound in the stillness of the night was the crackle of the fire and the gentle bleating of the sheep.

Suddenly, a blinding light rent the darkness to reveal a man robed in white. He was tall and powerful, and the air around him shimmered with light. Judah and all the other men cried out in alarm and trembled as they fell facedown before him.

Then the angel spoke, and his voice was like the sound of both music and rushing water.

“Do not be afraid,” he said. “I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger” (Luke 2:10–12).

Instantly the entire sky was filled with angels lifting their voices in praise to God.

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests” (2:14).

Then, as suddenly as they had all appeared, the sky was dark again and the night silent. The shepherds turned to each other.

“Messiah has come!” old Zachariah exclaimed.

“Let’s go to Bethlehem and see the baby!” another man said.

“I don’t know,” said another. “If Messiah really has come, do you think His parents would want a crowd of shepherds coming to visit?”

Then Judah spoke. “Weren’t you listening to what the angel said? The Messiah isn’t in a palace. His parents haven’t wrapped Him in silks or placed Him in a gilded cradle. They wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger, just like we do for our own newborns. I don’t understand it, but somehow He is like us.”

The men sat thoughtfully for a moment as each one absorbed the significance of the fact that, instead of God presenting long-awaited Messiah to the world in the trappings of royalty, He had swathed Him in the raiment of the poor and the despised.

When Zachariah broke the silence, the old shepherd’s voice was heavy with emotion. “Let’s go,” he said.

One by one the men stood, wrapped their cloaks closer around them, and began the short walk to Bethlehem. With each footfall of their sandals they drew closer to Israel’s long-awaited hope — a hope as wide as all creation and yet as near as their own broken hearts.

As they neared Bethlehem, the prophet Isaiah’s words seemed to come to life, walking alongside them, whispering ancient words of promise.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given” (Isaiah 9:6).

A baby swaddled in rags and lying in a manger. King . . . and peasant. A Messiah come for even the lowliest of men.

*James C. Martin, John A. Beck, and David G. Hansen, A Visual Guide to Bible Events (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2009), 146–147.

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As written by Sherri Gragg in Advent: The Story of Christmas. Connect with Sherri on Instagram and her website.

Advent: The Story of Christmas traces God’s ribbon of redemption – from Eden to Jerusalem – through thirty-one biblical stories. Sherri Gragg’s unique storytelling, infused with cultural accuracy and color, has been described as “Bible stories for adults.”

We’ve been journeying with this ancient story for the full season of Advent, and it’s led us here to Christmas Eve. May you experience God’s Word in fresh ways tonight, as we anticipate Christmas morning.

Welcoming Joy as We Walk into Christmas

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A year ago feels more like a thousand. Maybe that’s just me? At least for our family, we are in a whole new place in life this year than last Christmas.

This year, my husband’s position on our church staff was abruptly eliminated, and we lost both his job and our decades-long church home in one fell swoop.

This year, my son broke his leg badly and we journeyed through months of pain, stress, fear, pauses in our routines, and temporary new plans.

This year, we are no longer in a raging pandemic (it’s not over by any means, but our mitigations are many and life is a kind of new normal) and all four of my kids are back fully in regular school and activities.

This year, the weight I used to let some things have now seems to have shifted. My priorities have changed.

As I write this, my halls aren’t fully decked. The bins of decor sit and wait because of life happening all around them. My kids have projects to do, programs to attend, and performances to plow through. My list is long too — gifts to wrap, cookies to bake, cards to mail, traditions to fulfill. . .

But we are almost there, and maybe along the way we forgot that Advent isn’t just a season of passive waiting. Advent is a season of preparation. Our hearts, our homes, our very selves. And now, as we sit nearly on top of Christmas itself, we begin to look both behind and ahead at what we’ve done, what we’ve left undone, and what we’ve yet to come to.

Every year, just before Christmas, I start to panic a little bit. I see how quickly my favorite season flew by, and I think about how quickly the years have flown by, and then I wonder if I’m doing all that I can to soak it up, and then I eventually melt into a puddle of feelings — joy among the least of them.

Last year, I wrote something here at (in)courage that stuck with me:

What I want to tell you today, mere days before Christmas morning, is that both light and dark, wonderful and hard, joy and difficulty, is okay to feel — maybe especially at Christmas.

Last year, I was encouraging us that feeling not okay, is okay. And it still is. But this year, I feel a little tug towards joy.

Me. A self-proclaimed Eeyore, pulled toward joy.

I laugh, but here we are. I find myself lingering and laughing longer with my husband. Sharing stories with my kids about Christmases when they were babies and beaming at the memories. Smiling at every gift I wrap as I picture the recipient opening it. Getting teary at every holiday movie I watch. (The girl gets the promotion! The guy finds the secret gingerbread family recipe in time for the contest! They fall in love! I can’t help myself.). Letting the tears of pain and relief fall as I sit with my family in the pews at a new church. Giggling as I move our elf and Shepherd on the Search each night (unless I forget, and then still giggling but also scrambling before the kids get home from school).

My tasks are still there, both the holiday extras and the daily grind varieties. But there’s a flicker in my heart not terribly unlike that of the Grinch. Remember that scene, where his heart grows three sizes? I have those Grinch-heart moments every so often, and they feel like a gift. That God would design us so that our hearts could grow to hold more love, more joy, more peace. . . what a gift.

We are welcome to feel difficulty and sadness at Christmas time. We are also welcome to feel joy.

Last year I wrote about how we see Jesus feeling the other emotions — anger, sadness, grief, burden. I am convinced, too though, that Jesus had an incredible and indescribable spirit of joy. People were drawn to Him, constantly and consistently. I have to think that His gentleness and His joy were magnetic. He hung out with the fun crowd and had dear friends. He was invited to parties. He and His friends went to weddings together!

Maybe we need to talk more about the joy of Jesus, and dive deep into Scripture and history, but for today it’s enough for me to imagine with certainty: Jesus knew joy, because Jesus knew God.

. . . for the joy of the Lord is your strength, says Nehemiah 8:10.

We can lean on the strength of this joy. His joy. We don’t have to live into a frenetic pace; we can let God’s peace draw us in. We can suggest joy take a front seat for once, and we can be amazed at the glimmers of hope we feel. We can lean into joyfulness of the season, even if everything around us is hard. Doing so just might be a gift He’s waiting for us to open.

Jesus, God with us, offers a spirit of joy that can carry us through long after the holidays. There’s hope. There’s joy. Christmas is coming, friends. May your heart be light. And may you have a very merry Christmas.

 

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The Birth Story That Changed Everything

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My first pregnancy was hard. I was nauseated and vomiting almost the entire time. I prayed that if God ever wanted me to go through this again, at least my delivery would have to be easy. And it was! Delivering my daughter was such a beautiful and peaceful experience — thanks to the epidural and the angel of a nurse I had coaching me through the process.

As the time got closer to delivery,  I was really nervous. I was told that they were going to take the baby from the womb and place her immediately onto my chest. It may seem silly, but I faint at the sight of blood, and I am sort of a germaphobe. So the idea of having this baby covered in all sorts of fluids flung onto my chest was not how I had imagined this precious moment. I wanted it to be perfect, like in the movies where the babies are cleaned off and photo ready. Would my own baby gross me out so much that I would ruin this magical moment? I was thinking of all of this as I pushed my little girl out. They placed her on my chest, blood and all, but I didn’t even notice. We made eye contact. She reached her little arm up and placed her hand on my neck as if she was giving me a hug. I began to cry; she was already crying! It was magical and perfect.

Even though she was covered in a lot of mess, she was perfect. She was mine to hold. The one for whom I had been waiting nine long months and loved more than I knew I could love.

I always wondered about Mary, how she must have felt the moment she first held Jesus. I wonder if she was looking at all the cows and thinking, this is not the way I imagined this moment. But she was the one chosen to hold Him. She was the one who would birth the Perfect One who came to make His home among the messy and broken.

As Mary held that little baby covered in blood and all, knowing He is the Son of God, she must have cried so many tears of joy. He was the one that they had waited for, the Messiah. The angels sang and the shepherds worshipped. It was indeed the perfect moment.

In Luke 2, Mary and Joseph took baby Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord as required by the Law of Moses. There they met a man named Simeon who confirmed that this child was indeed the one through whom the world would see God.

Maybe Mary needed that reminder — after all, Jesus was still a human baby who probably kept her up all night and needed his cloth diaper changed often. Teenage Mary was probably breathing a sigh of relief as she was reminded that her work of mothering is hard but it is holy.

Then Simeon looks at Mary and says “…a sword will pierce your very soul” (Luke 2:35). As he reminded her of Jesus’ purpose, he reminded Mary it won’t be easy for her; in fact, it will hurt her to the core.

So, the million-dollar question, Mary, did you know? Yes, she did. God loved her enough to reveal that her son didn’t come to stay in the world, but to save the world.

Unlike that starry night, with angels singing and cattle mooing, the day Simeon’s prophecy came true was dreary and somber. On the hill of Calvary, Mary held her son, covered in blood, pressed up against her chest. Indeed her soul was pierced. She would cry, but heaven would be silent. She had waited along with all her people for the Messiah that Isaiah had prophesied over 700 years before. And as much as it hurt, Mary knew indeed He was the perfect lamb who would take away the sin of the world.

It is easy to get caught up in all of our Christmas traditions and creating magical moments for our family, that we forget that Jesus was actually born to die. Christmas is more than a birthday celebration; it is the crux of the Gospel message: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Christmas is remembering that God reached down to dirt to create man, but man rejected Him. Then God came down in flesh into a cradle in the dirt to restore man back to Himself. He didn’t just lie in a crib, He wore a crown of thorns and died a criminal’s death. Christmas was Love Himself reaching out for you and me and that’s what makes it a moment of celebration. So even as you remember the manger, remember the cross.

 

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