When You Don’t Get to Finish What You Started

When You Don’t Get to Finish What You Started

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Breezes from the front porch encircled us as I stood with the family who was buying our farm. I listened to their plans and shared with them about this special place they were moving into. I wanted them to know God had built it, what He had taught me about dwelling with Him, and how I had prayed for them.

And then the moment happened.

The wife commented how she couldn’t wait to host her women’s church group on the big front porch. I should have been excited that God had answered my prayers for our farm to be handed off to kingdom-minded people, but my heart fell.

The buyer was going to do the very things I had hoped to do but never got to see to fruition. God had given me so many ideas for our farm, and that had been one of them. As I returned to packing boxes, I wanted to cry.

I immediately felt like a failure, followed by jealousy and disappointment in myself and, if I’m honest, in God. I was left curious why I had missed the opportunity to complete the vision He’d started with me.

Years before, God had planted the idea of our farm in my heart, and we searched for land for six years before He provided our very own promised land. Then, He gave us the chance to restore an ugly property with Him. We spent years cleaning up the property, building a home, and planting seeds. And we experienced many miracles in the process.

I never anticipated that I wouldn’t get to experience the entirety of the vision He’d revealed to me. It never crossed my mind that I would only be a part of the beginning of that vision and would have to pass the baton on to another to complete it.

Weeks after that front porch conversation, we were moved out, and I was deep cleaning the house. As I scrubbed baseboards and toilets, I chose to pray for the new owners, thank God for the good and hard we had experienced in this place, and finally come clean to Him about the feelings I had.

I told Him it felt unfair for Him to share the vision with me and then for me not to be able to see it to completion.

God was kind to listen while I complained about how He was working His plan. His Spirit was gentle but honest, revealing to me that this wasn’t the first time He’d asked me to pass on the baton in the middle of His vision for my life.

When I co-founded (in)courage with Holley Gerth more than a decade ago, I assumed I’d be in my role for years to come. So I was shocked when just nine months after launching, God asked me to resign and start my own business.

What would happen to the vision and ideas He had given me for (in)courage? I wanted to be part of all God was doing. But over the years, He has brought different women to lead this special place and has always made it clear that nothing is reliant upon me or any other person — only Him.

God is so kind to have a vision for something in our lives and to share it with us. But it’s up to Him what our role is and for how long He wants to work through us on that vision.

It’s very rare for the person that God shares His specific vision with to be the one to see it through to completion. I’m hard pressed to find many stories in the Bible where God’s people were gifted with experiencing both the beginning and the end of God’s plan. Usually each person plays a key role, but only a part.

  • Abraham didn’t see the nations, just the stars.
  • Moses didn’t dwell in the promised land but stood in awe of it.
  • David didn’t build the temple, but he raised the son that would.
  • Isaiah didn’t witness the King of kings’ birth, but he saw His light.
  • Esther didn’t release God’s people from captivity, but she saved their lives.
  • Even Jesus didn’t see the church go to the ends of the earth, but He finished what He was sent for.

Not seeing the completion of God’s vision doesn’t diminish my part but encourages me to have faith in His power to finish what He starts and helps me to go with the flow of the Holy Spirit.

With (in)courage, I knew God had called certain women at specific times to lead in my place. I have the privilege of watching His original vision unfold twelve years later. And now, with our farm, God brought the next woman to fulfill more of the vision He’s designed her for. It’s truly the body of Christ each playing their role in working out what God has planned.

Will you join me in being open to God’s role and timing for you? He may be asking you to join Him in a vision for the first time or to turn your current role over to another and open a new chapter so you both can serve His kingdom. He’s asking each of us to work together for the greater good and for His vision to be completed. Let’s be flexible with our expectations and timelines and trust that His ways are greater.

How Desperation Can Make Room for Miracles

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I had a very bad fourth grade teacher.

I transferred from the elementary school I’d attended my entire little life and moved to a new school in the middle of the school year. This school was an academically advanced school, and in the first week, it was apparent I was completely in over my head.

I hadn’t learned any of the math at my last school that everyone in this class had mastered. Mrs. B proclaimed to the rest of the class, “No, we can’t move on because Kathi hasn’t mastered the basics yet.” It was humiliating to be called out in front of the whole class, and at the same time being told we, as a class of thirty-two students, couldn’t move on to the next math book because I wasn’t “getting it.”

Mrs. B called my mom in for a conference to tell her I should probably not be in her class and should be put in a remedial class or go back to third grade.

I was no star student at my last school, but I had held my own and read about every book in the library. So when Mrs. B used words like “stupid,” my mom wasn’t standing for it. Mom insisted I get standardized testing. Mrs. B wouldn’t send in the request for it, so my normally just-go-along mom made a beeline to the principal to insist I get tested.

The results? I was given ways to get caught up in math. Plus, I was sent to the extra program for “gifted and talented” students. It wasn’t that I couldn’t learn; I just hadn’t been given the opportunity — yet.

Mrs. B. continued to resent my presence in her class. And my mom continued to fight for me on every front so I would not be labeled (by myself or others) because of one bad teacher.

When it was time for my little brother to be placed in the same class, my mom was having none of that. She grabbed her sleeping bag and camped out in a long line at the new elementary school to make sure my brother would get a slot. The sleeping bag ploy worked. The same year I graduated from elementary school, my brother transferred, and our family never had to deal with Mrs. B ever again.

Oh, the things we will do when we are desperate.

Those actions — taking her case to the principal, insisting on getting me tested, and camping out overnight in front of an elementary school — remind me that sometimes we need to take extreme action to get extreme results.

My mom’s actions told me I was worth fighting for — that my little child heart and mind were worth protecting from someone who was probably going through her own stuff but wasn’t emotionally trustworthy with the soul of a child.

My mom reminds me of my favorite woman in the Bible — the bleeding woman.

As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.
Luke 8:42-44 (NIV)

Why is she my favorite? Because she took desperate actions and advocated for her own life.

Other parts of the gospel say the woman with the issue of blood had spent all her money on doctors and healers.

She had been bleeding for years.

She had been sick for years.

She was out of time.

She was out of money.

She was out of energy.

And this desperate woman needed a miracle.

So she did what would have been unthinkable (especially in her time) and literally pushed people out of the way to be able to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment.

There are times when we try everything we know to do. We try the polite way. We try the socially acceptable way. And then, like my mom and the bleeding woman, there are times when we need to do the not socially acceptable thing, to push other things out of the way.

And, like the bleeding woman, often it’s time to run straight to Jesus.

When it comes to advocating for my own health, for the well-being of the people I love, I need to be less concerned with the temporary, perceived comfort of others and be more focused on the heart of Christ in all things.

Sometimes, when all our other options are taken away, we have to be that woman who clings to Jesus, in front of everyone else, beyond all reason.

Desperate looks different for all of us. For some of us, it means taking your case to the principal or camping out in front of a school overnight. For others, it’s putting aside what society thinks is the right way to do things and pushing others out of the way and going straight to the hem of Jesus.

Have you found yourself in a desperate situation recently? What sort of opposition do you need to push out of the way to get to Jesus?

Need to push away overwhelm? An Abundant Place is a daily retreat for women who can’t get away.

That Time the Gospel Showed Up in a Dressing Room

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It was right there, with fluorescent lights shining and half a dozen tops hanging on the rack, that I froze in a department store dressing room. Over the Christmas music playing through the speakers, I could hear two voices in the room to my left. A niece and an aunt? A daughter and her mother? A teenager and her grandmother? I’ll never know, but I hope I never forget what the older woman firmly — and yet kindly — said.

“Now, remember, this is a gift. All you have to do is receive it.”

Tears prick my eyes even now, writing such a simple sentence. It’s more than the generosity of the words or the thoughtful reminder. It’s the gospel, right there in a dressing room.

Perhaps God said the same to us, to all of humanity, as heaven touched earth and the glory of God was covered with skin, a baby placed in a manger as angels sang in the skies above.

Can you picture the baby in the manger gripping Mary’s fingers, toddling around the house, growing up and playing games with the children next door, learning the family trade under Joseph’s watchful eye?

Can you picture the man who calmed the threatening storm, the One who bent low in the dirt to love the outcast, the friend that little children wanted to spend time with, the man who danced at weddings and wept when His friend passed away?

Can you picture Him there in the Garden of Gethsemane, choosing to stay instead of flee, even though He knew with all certainty what was to come? Can you see Him forgiving the deep betrayal of a dear friend, forgiving the ones who tortured Him, forgiving me and forgiving you?

A gift, a gift, a gift . . .

All of it, every day and every breath, a gift.

We’re in between Christmas and Easter now, and it won’t be long before we turn our attention to the reminder of Lent, the hope of spring, and the joy of celebrating a stone that was rolled away as death died once and for all.

But here, as a new year begins to unfold and every newsfeed fills with words about goals and resolutions and to-do lists, I’m sticking with the truth of a simple sentence that has the gospel written all over it.

Now, remember, this is a gift. All you have to do is receive it.

There is no accomplishment to strive for, no resume to build, no rung to reach for that could bring you even one centimeter closer to Him. Emmanuel is right here, with us forevermore, and nothing you do or don’t do this year could make Him love you even one iota more than He already does.

It’s a startling truth in today’s culture, and yet the most abundant gift: God’s love for you isn’t dependent on you (Ephesians 2:8-9). It isn’t tied to your progress or accomplishments, your bank account or the number of likes on your last Instagram post.⁣ You don’t have to be better, clean yourself up, check all the boxes, or have the right answers.

The things you do matter. Your words matter, your work matters, the way you treat those around you (and those on the other side of the screen, too) matters. But if it all disappears in an instant, if you make a mistake today or really mess up tomorrow, God’s love for you will not change, and His grace isn’t going anywhere.

You would not be a disappointment. You would not be called Less Than or labeled Not Good Enough.⁣ You would be named Beloved, Chosen, Wanted, Daughter.

There’s nothing wrong with setting a goal or making a resolution for the new year! Just don’t forget that the greatest of all gifts is already marked “paid in full.”

The One who made you and named you declared you to be worth it all before you had done anything at all.

The gift is yours for the accepting. It already has your name on it.

As a wise woman once said in a brightly lit dressing room, all of you have to do is receive it.

For more hope-filled encouragement, free lock screens for your phone, and book recommendations from Kaitlyn, follow her on Instagram!

What’s Your Word for the Coming Year?

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I wonder if we’d be so gung-ho about New Year’s resolutions if January didn’t come so quickly after December.

The holiday season, with all its fun and festivities and fa-la-las, also gives us obligations, stress, and bullet lists (or credit card bills) a mile long. And after pushing ourselves to exhaustion or gorging ourselves on red and green candies (No, YOU ate an entire bag of peanut M&Ms in one day!), the idea of a new day, month, year is more than a breath of fresh air. It’s a gulp of oxygen as we feel ourselves drowning in year-end excess and (often unmet) expectations.

But before we start a list of all the many, many ways we’re going to be better, do more, work harder or smarter — or both! — this year, let’s take a time out. Let’s breathe in deep our clean calendars and pretty paper journals, and let’s boil all our best intentions and goals and ambitions down a little.

I don’t know about you, but I know that this time of year, as we put 2021 behind us and look forward to whatever may come in 2022, I’m tempted to forget everything I’ve learned in the past twelve months (and every year before). My knees feel weak at the thought of a few more bullet points, and I get a little breathless as I organize all my hopes and dreams and plans into the most perfect outline or spreadsheet you’ve ever seen.

Yeah, it’s true. I totally get a crush on New Year’s resolutions, the bad boy of all goal-setting strategies, the one I swear off every year because he’ll just end up hurting me. That one. Yes, I fall for his charm (The possibilities! The potential!) every time.

And that’s why I come back to DaySpring’s Word of the Year.

DaySpring’s Word of the Year encourages us to forget resolutions and instead, focus on just ONE word. The idea is that we focus on this one word every day, all year long — one word that sums up who we want to be or how we want to live. DaySpring’s Word of the Year is what snaps me out of my dreamy resolution fog and grounds me — not just in January but every month of the year.

Whether I’m brainstorming writing topics and business ideas, pinning recipes to try and crafts to make, or identifying all the ways I need to do more, work harder, and be better, I easily lose my mind first in the more!-more!-more! approach to making my lists and then moving towards the overwhelmed, I-can’t-possibly-do-any-of-this, I’m-going-to-hide-under-the-covers reaction to my lists in the face of reality.

Focusing on just one word for the year keeps me centered, and it leaves me a whole lot more successful and satisfied with life. Especially because when I force myself to funnel my hopes and goals for an entire year into a single word or phrase, I also force myself to focus on what truly matters and what will make an eternal difference in my life and the lives of those I care about.

See? Way more satisfying than pretending like this is the year I’m going to start flossing every day.

This article was written by Mary Carver, (in)courage writer.

We’re excited to share with you a fun, EASY way to kick off your new year — the Word of The Year quiz from DaySpring! The seven simple questions will lead you to one word that will remind you of God’s truth all year long and inspire you to live your faith every day.

Click here to take the short 7-question quiz and find your word — nothing overwhelming about that! Once you have your word, download the graphic that goes with your word and share it on social media. Be sure to tag @incourage so we can cheer you on!

Then come back here and share your word in the comments, along with what it means to you. As an added bonus, we’re giving one lucky commenter* a $100 shopping spree to DaySpring.com!

Whether you’re reluctant to begin or you’re chomping at the bit to enter the new year, we’re here to cheer you on in the good things God has for you in 2022.

Let’s lean into truth together. What’s your word?

 

*Giveaway open to US addresses only until 1/7/2022. Winner will be selected at random and notified via email.

The Goodness of Our Creative Callings

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I sat on my back patio, journal and pen in hand, with no words to write. As the wind whispered through my hair, I grasped for inspiration, wishing an image, a thought, a phrase would arise. But nothing came. I stared out into nature, extending out my backyard, and felt stuck. I wanted so badly to write beauty on pages, and yet all I felt was empty and dry.

Everything I had been writing of late was for a project. Each idea was turned into an article with a timestamp. Over time, I realized this sort of production approach to one of my natural talents had sucked the creativity right out of me. Somewhere in the shuffle of deadlines and the pursuit of a side income, I had lost the experience of writing for the pure joy of it. There had been a time when I could get lost in another world of thoughts, when I could write something down and not share it with the world. I would write things in my journal just for myself, and like Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire, I’d feel God’s pleasure through my craft. Oftentimes, my days would feel brighter and more invigorated as a result. I want to get back to that.

In bearing God’s image, humans share God’s creative impulse. When God made the world, He put His creativity on display, breathing to life a colorful diversity in all things. Every rare and unique plant, creature, and human is a testament to God, our Creator and King, who delights in us simply for who we are and the ways we reflect His image in the world. Moreover, after each day of creation in Genesis 1, we read that God surveyed all that He created and declared, “It is good.” God created for the purpose of beauty, goodness, and truth, and we can too. In our skills and abilities and talents, God has planted the seeds for us to co-create good and beautiful things as a form of worship to God and for His glory. 

In fact, part of how we love our neighbor is through our creative calling. I love how the theologian Frederick Buechner writes, “Your vocation in life is where your greatest joy meets the world’s greatest need.” In other words, breathing life into our creations shouldn’t be a selfish pursuit. Rather, cultivating them is how God uses us as His hands and feet in a dark and hurting world. Through our giftings and skills, we not only imagine a better and more beautiful world, a vision of the Garden temple in Genesis that God created, but we also use our knowledge and abilities to bring that vision to reality. Through our crafted creations, whether they be in word, object, or aesthetic, we have the ability to further God’s goodness in the world. This is how we create for both our own joy and the joy of the world.

However, in our fast-paced world, it’s hard to create the good and the beautiful if everything we do is contracted and commodified. When everything we create has metrics attached, when there is something to be gained through it — whether fame, platform, or income — we miss out on our original purpose as co-creators with God Himself. That’s not to say we shouldn’t use our skills to put food on the table and have a roof over our head, but when the art of creating is reduced to mere financial transactions, our creative spark will slowly fizzle and wane. 

In this new year, what if we chose to carve out more space to lean into our God-given gifts and talents and passions? What if we chose to delight in the process of creating in every paint stroke, music note, planted seed, and well-crafted sentence? Can we chase after divine beauty in the meals we prepare for our families and friends, in the ideas we share, and the relationships we build? 

This year let’s return back to our first creative loves. Let’s unwrap that long hidden gem and allow our sleeping hearts to beat again with excitement and thrill. May we awaken to curiosity and delight, wonder and imagination, and join God in the cultivation of goodness, beauty, and truth. 

New Year’s Resolutions or Not, His Mercies Are New

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We all know what the main topic of conversation is this time of year. How many times have you heard it? The calendar flips over to a new year and that seems to mean there needs to be a start to the “new you.” Everyone has been thinking, planning, and waiting until January to be better, start fresh, and try harder.

Typically, you have people finding they need to cut things out — bad habits, television, junk food, social media. Some people want to add things in — more reading, more working out, more family time, more gratitude. People want to look better, feel better, and be more successful.

Social media posts and friends and family are all asking the same questions: What are your resolutions for this year? What are you going to change? What are you going to make better? What are you going to stop doing? What are you going to work harder on?

So I have found myself thinking — or maybe overthinking — about my own plans, goals, resolutions for the new year. Should I be adding in good things? Should I be cutting out bad things? I need more of the good and could always use less of the bad. I see plenty of room for improvement and my track record for resolutions is less than consistent. The list for a new me just gets longer and longer. I see the self-induced stress and disappointment adding up already. Who can keep all of this up? It’s overwhelming! No wonder people aren’t talking about how resolutions are going a month or two into the year.

Do you ever just want to avoid this topic of conversation? All this added pressure just because the calendar shows January? When you hear questions about new year’s resolutions for the hundredth time, do you feel like answering, “I don’t have any!”? Nothing, none, zilch, zero. No resolution, no new big thing, no new me.

No more pressure is needed right now.

Resolutions and goals have their rightful place, but right now, you might just need to get through this season, to get through the week, to hang on another day. You are working hard trying to get through each day all the while being the best God made you to be.

If that is the season you are in, you are not alone. If you feel like this whole resolution thing is just a big fail for you, you are not alone. Not everyone is feeling the big, lofty goals. Not everyone is into the splashy “in” resolutions of the year. Do not feel guilty for not jumping on board with all the excitement this time around. And if this is where you’re at today, I have the best news for you: Don’t worry. Have hope. You and I can take this day by day!

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.”
Lamentations 3:21-24 (ESV)

This is what the Lord does for us — new mercies every morning!

Each and every day, we can have the abundant mercy, love, and faithfulness of God. His mercies will never come to an end. They will not run out. They do not expire. And thankfully, they aren’t based on how good we are doing. After each misstep, flub, mistake and fail, there He is with mercy and love and grace. We don’t have to quit; we can try again tomorrow. And again the next day. And again the day after that if we need.

We can count on His mercy to get us through the day’s troubles. And if we barely make it through a day, if it leaves us discouraged and broken, we have hope that He will meet us tomorrow with an outpouring of love, compassion, and faithfulness.

God just keeps showing up. He forgives us over and over, loving us no matter our behavior, with never-ending mercies.

God is our portion. He is our fresh start. He is the hope we cling to.

Resting in Truth as a New Year Begins

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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

Even though we wish we could see all that is to come this year, let’s open our hands and trust God with the unknown and the new. His goodness, love, and faithfulness continue to be true for us.

May you feel peace knowing that you are a new creation in Christ, that He will renew your heart and offer new mercies every day. May you resist the pressure and temptation to fill up a blank calendar with lofty resolutions and appointments that will stretch you thin. May you remember that you are more than any goal met, any resolution kept, any to-do list checked. You are loved just as you are, and may you find rest in that truth.

A prayer for 2022:

Lord, there is so much ahead of us that we can’t foresee, so much we wish we could control but can’t. We hold all the questions, desires, and longings out to You. We want to trust You, but we acknowledge that we need help with that sometimes. Help us remember who we are, through the lens and truth of who You are. Thank You that we can be anchored in faith when we are tethered to You. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen. 

Happy New Year, friends!

Tomorrow Is Full of New Mercies

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Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:21-23 (NIV)

You made it. Because of God’s great love, you were not consumed. Today is the last day of the year, and tomorrow brings with it a new year, a fresh start, and God’s faithfulness to see us through it all.

No matter what you’ve faced this year, tomorrow is full of new mercies. Because of God’s grace and forgiveness, we are offered a new heart and a new spirit (Ezekiel 36:26-27). When we accept the gift of a new year and a new life in Christ, God promises to give us a heart that is once again soft and a spirit that is open to His guiding.

As we close out this year, reflecting on all that has happened in the past 365 days, all the ways we’ve grown and struggled and loved and learned, let’s remember that a new day is coming. God will give us a new heart — as well as a new year.

Happy last day of 2021, friends. May your heart feel renewed, refreshed, and ready to welcome 2022.

I Want to See Jesus in the Church Like I Saw Him at the Hospital

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I have often heard that a church should look more like a hospital, and that’s the out-of-left-field thought I had at a most unusual moment. It popped into my mind when a nurse inserted the IV needle into my wrist.

I was in the hospital for surgery on my, ahem, pre-menopausal lady parts. (Everything is fine. I am recovered. I am at peace.) But moments before the IV was inserted, I was not at peace. I was in panic.

I had a full-on meltdown that would rival a three-year-old’s flopped-down fit in a Target aisle. Forty-nine-year-old me. In a hospital gown. With my long-suffering husband whispering gentle reassurance to me. Perhaps surprisingly, it wasn’t the procedure, biopsies, or anesthesia that sent me into a tailspin.

I was terrified of the needle. (Turns out, there’s a name for this very real fear: trypanophobia.)

Then something happened. The nurse — her name was Teresa — looked me in the eyes and said simply and calmly, “Have faith.”

Her words weren’t delivered in a way that would make you feel like you’d been preached at, or scolded, or that your fears were being marginalized. It was reassurance that was paradoxically gentle and firm. I knew in that moment that faith was possible.

I breathed deeply, and it became clear to me that the hospital was doing for me what the big-c Church is called to do for all people: to be like Jesus — the same Jesus, who, like Teresa, reminded His followers to have faith.

That day, I saw Jesus in the hospital from the moment I stepped inside.

I saw Jesus in the man who held the elevator open.

I saw Jesus in the receptionist who showed me to my room and asked about our holiday plans.

I saw Jesus in the patience of my husband, who held my trembling hand.

I saw Jesus in the nurse who pressed a lavender essential-oil patch onto my gown to calm me.

I saw Jesus in the anesthesiologist who explained how things would go in the operating room.

And, of course, I saw Jesus in Teresa.

All of this happened beneath a wooden cross nailed to the wall in front of me. Yes, a cross in a hospital. Perhaps you’re aware that the church played a major role in developing what we know today as the hospital. The same is true of the specific hospital where I was cared for, Avera, founded by orders of religious women. There is much to be said of the rich faith traditions undergirding our modern hospital system. It makes sense, given that the early church championed care of the sick.

And, of course, healing was a tenet of Christ’s ministry on earth. He was not only a spiritual healer but a physical one too. Like me, a woman who had been experiencing her own lady-part problems went in search of healing. She knew that if she could simply touch His cloak, she would be healed.

Jesus turned to her with words of compassion. “Take heart, daughter. Your faith has healed you” (Matthew 9:21-22).

As I think about the year ahead, the kind of Church I need — the kind of Church I want to be — is the kind where I am reminded that Jesus holds my suffering in nail-scarred hands.

I want to see Jesus in the rooms of 2022, and I want to be Jesus in the room. I want to bring whatever I can to a hurting world — whether that’s through the opening of a door, asking a kind question, offering a bit of lavender or a hand to hold. I want to bring my presence to those who are hurting.

Candidly, I also need the Church in this way. I too am sometimes saddled with pain and panic. I want to be able to show up in the new year as I am – broken, hurting, panicked, anxious – and find safe places to share my wounds without having them maligned or minimized. I need kind Teresas nearby to gently remind me to “have faith,” who will stay close even when I’m a bawling mess.

And may it all play out under the cross.

Yes, I need a church that’s like a hospital. It’s said that the word hospital originates from the Latin word hospes, meaning guest or stranger. It’s the same root for the word hospitality. The word patient comes from patior, which means to suffer. That means that, by definition, a hospital is a kind place where guests who are suffering can show up and be cared for.

May the Church — and all of us in it — become more and more a place like that.

Dear Lord, I pray for the woman who suffers today. I pray for the woman whose pain has been maligned, misunderstood, or minimized. May You give her safe passage toward people who believe her and guide her in faith. May You give her the courage to reach out and touch Your garment. And Father, we also pray for the Church in 2022. May it be a place that’s more like a hospital, where suffering guests can show up and be cared for. In Jesus’ healing name, Amen.

Bed Bugs, Hip Problems, and How God Shows Up in Surprising Ways

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We arrived in New York for our daughter’s much anticipated twelve-year-old trip with mom and dad, exhausted and ready for a good night’s sleep in a gorgeous hotel. We had big plans to explore the city, but the first thing our daughter wanted to do in the morning was to swim in the rooftop pool. We sauntered up with swimsuits and towels on right after breakfast.

Upon finding lounge chairs, my husband’s phone rang. and his eyes got big.

“This is the manager. I’m so sorry to say this, but we believe your room has bed bugs. We are going to ask you to come to a new, upgraded room immediately. Take only what you have on, and you will follow us to a new room. All your clothes and bags from your old room will go through a special cleaning process, then sent back to your room tomorrow. We are so sorry for the inconvenience!” 

My husband must have noticed my face. All my expectations came crashing down. We had waited so long for this trip, and now it was ruined. I teared up. We have no shoes, no clothes; we can’t go out in the chilly night air like this! And gross — bed bugs?! How did this happen! 

“We are sending the concierge out to shop for new clothes for tomorrow and tennis shoes. And pajamas. And anything else you need.” So we sat around in our half wet suits and waited. I tried to have a good attitude, but it didn’t work. I was just so disappointed. Finally, the clothes arrived, and we were able to go out to dinner. I prayed a pitiful prayer that God would somehow redeem this trip. 

But the following day, I woke up, and one of my eyes was matted shut. You’ve got to be kidding me. This is a comedy of errors! It was swollen and itchy, and I had to call an eye doctor to get a prescription in a city I didn’t know. But we had new outfits and shoes and decided to take to the streets. Nothing is going to stop us from having the trip of our lives — not even my jellyfish-looking eyeball! So we did all the fun things one does in New York City, clocking in 20,000 steps! 

Throughout the day, I kept asking my husband if his hips were hurting because he usually complains or walks with a limp with that much walking. “I can’t believe this, but I feel fine! I think it’s these shoes. I would have never bought them, but they’re actually incredible. My hip isn’t hurting at all.”

We both gasped and smiled. For years we’ve known he’s been inching towards surgery but have been putting it off. We’ve tried everything and never thought to switch his shoes. He hasn’t taken those tennis shoes off since, and his hip pain has dramatically decreased!

Our disastrous-but-redeemed trip reminds me of this year — these past couple of years — when expectations of how everything should have gone came crumbling down. Even though we’re past Christmas, I can’t help but think about Mary and how jarring it must have felt when the angel appeared to her suddenly.

And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be.
Luke 1:28-29 (ESV)

I can just hear Mary saying, “Um, what kind of greeting is this?!” But God has a different way, a strange way, of showing up. He offers His provisions and care in such a surprising manner, we could easily miss the blessing it might contain. 

We look back now on that trip and see God’s surprising provision. He met needs we weren’t even looking to have met. We had big plans, but He had an even bigger plan to heal my husband’s hip — with an incident of bed bugs. (Yes, it’s funny!)

As we enter into this season of reflection and look forward to the future, we can probably conjure up all the ways we want our lives to go differently. But our vision might be clouded, perhaps matted shut with unmet expectations and bitterness. We might not be able to see the ways God has actually been providing for us all along. But this is what I’ve found to the be antidote to see clearly again: We must believe in His goodness towards us. When we look back and find the ways He’s been faithful to us, it helps us look forward to the future feeling less fearful and more hopeful.

I wonder how He will show up for us this next year as we look around and say, Where is God in this surprising turn in my life? Ah, our Emmanuel. God is with us — in the past, right now, and in the future. And His presence is our promise and our hope.

Remembering God’s Faithfulness This Year

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I will make known the Lord’s faithful love
and the Lord’s praiseworthy acts,
because of all the Lord has done for us—
even the many good things
he has done for the house of Israel,
which he did for them based on his compassion
and the abundance of his faithful love.
He said, “They are indeed my people,
children who will not be disloyal,”
and he became their Savior.
In all their suffering, he suffered,
and the angel of his presence saved them.
He redeemed them
because of his love and compassion;
he lifted them up and carried them
all the days of the past.
Isaiah 63:7-9 (CSB)

We are nearly at the end of this year, friends — can you believe it? As we settle our hearts after the celebrations and chaos of the holidays, let’s pause and remember God’s faithfulness to us this year. We would love to hear from you:

What prayers have been answered? 

At what moments did you see or hear God clearly? 

Who in your life has shown you more of God?

When things were hard, how did you feel God’s nearness?

God loves us more than we can imagine. We are His people, His children. God is and has been steady, unshaken, present, and compassionate in the midst of all that this year has brought. Breathe in God’s grace for you. It is enough.

It’s Never Too Late to Find Joy

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I had always wanted to go to the desert and see the wildflowers bloom. I read in an article that once a year wildflowers bloom in the desert. I planned to take our family down to Palm Springs from the San Francisco Bay area for the first time, but when I called to book a jeep tour, the company told me that no one knows exactly when flowers bloom in the desert. “We only know they bloom some time between March and May,” they said.

I learned that depending on the conditions of the land, rainfall, and weather, the timing varies every year. Still, I booked the trip, praying that God would allow us to see the wildflowers.

As my family and I zoomed out into the desert later in the spring, there was nothing but dirt, rocks, plentiful Joshua trees, and shrubs dotting the landscape as our jeep drove across the desert plains. I felt pretty disappointed.

“I thought we were going to see wildflowers?” my boys asked.

“Yeah, I guess not,” I shouted above the squeaky jeep ride.

However, thirty minutes later, and to my surprise, our guide stopped by the roadside and walked us over to some plants. “Wildflowers bloom here because they tell us something important is up ahead,” he said with a sparkle in his eyes underneath his sun hat.

He pointed up ahead to a cluster of palm trees in the distance. An oasis was up ahead. Streams in the desert were running underneath the ground we stood on, and the wildflowers plants were drawing water from deep within the desert.

I didn’t know flowers could blossom like that in the desert because nothing along the way told me that something beautiful would emerge from dry wilderness. Yet underneath the barren desert floor where I could not see, life-giving water was flowing.

Are you standing in a wilderness of your own and joy looks out of reach, as you end the year? Do you feel stressed, surrounded by the questions and problems surrounding you? Are you losing hope that beauty will show up along the way?

No matter how dry or barren your life feels now, it’s never too late to choose joy. God’s love and peace is an oasis we can run to, return to, and get refilled by no matter how things appear.

As I stood there in the middle of the oasis of palm trees, marveling at the pool of water flowing out of the ground, I felt an overwhelming peace. My heart was refreshed with joy as I began recalling Scriptures that flowed out life-giving truth:

Nothing is impossible with God.
Luke 1:37 (ESV)

Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up.
Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

The wilderness and the dry land will be glad; the desert will rejoice and blossom like a rose. It will blossom abundantly and will also rejoice with joy and singing.
Isaiah 35:1-2 (HCSB)

God’s Word empowers us and gives us hope. No matter what wilderness or desert of stress we may find ourselves in, we can always return to the oasis of God’s presence and choose joy again.

What are the stresses you’re experiencing? Tell God about it. Come vulnerably and honestly before Him and share your struggles, perhaps your lack of hope, and your tender hope to believe that joy might be possible again.

Friends, as we step into the new year in a couple of days, don’t give up looking for joy. Encourage yourself to believe God has prepared a place for you to blossom with joy in this world. Take your time. There is no rush or expiration date to finding joy. There is room for you to grow and learn what helps you to experience joy in a personal way. Take just one next step to bloom right where you are planted.

Whatever that might look like for you, seek it out in faith, knowing that when we seek it, we will find it. An oasis of joy waiting for you up ahead. It’s never too late to choose joy because you are God’s beloved daughter.

For more ways to find joy, follow Bonnie on Instagram @thebonniegray, sign up for her Breathe Newsletter (click here), and listen to this wellness podcast BREATHE: The Stress Less Podcast.

What a Wonder to Be Known!

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O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
Psalm 139:1-6 (NLT)

As we enter into the last week of 2021, let’s take a collective deep breath. We’re ending a year that had many of us adjusting to constantly changing circumstances, starting new dreams and jobs, saying goodbye to loved ones too soon, or tentatively hoping for life to settle down. We might be holding our breath as we face 2022, wondering what it will bring, so for a moment today — right now — let’s rest in the truth we find in Psalm 139.

First, God knows us — our hearts, minds, and bodies. He knows the stress we hold from caring for those around us. He knows our frustration — about the pandemic, within our marriages, with our church communities. He knows what will delight us and when we need our rest. He goes before us so we’re never alone or lost, and He holds all our thoughts, feelings, needs, fears, and desires with care.

Second, God holds the future in His hands. When everything feels out of control, God can anchor us to Himself. His presence is our comfort, our assurance, and our blessing no matter what circumstances we will find ourselves in.

Take in these truths as you breathe deeply. You are known by a God who cares for you through every moment of every day, every month, and every year.

Wishing You a Very Merry Christmas!

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The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. We observed his glory, the glory as the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14 (CSB)

Joy to the world, Christ has come. He is here. He is with us! May your day be filled with more joy and love than your heart can hold as you celebrate the greatest Gift — the never-ending, world-changing, amazing love and joy of Jesus Christ.

As you celebrate loud or quiet, near or far, today or next week, know that you, dear friend, are loved by all of us here at (in)courage.

May you see His glory today and every day. Merry Christmas!

On Christmas Eve, We Anticipate with Hope

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In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
Luke 2:1-20 (NIV)

On this holy night as we anticipate Christmas in the morning, may you let these ancient words sink deep into your soul. This is the story of new beginnings, of hope in the middle of winter, of joy in the midst of chaos. It’s a story that meets us where we’re at and invites us into a miracle.

So no matter where your heart is today, pause, reflect, and rest in the story of the shepherds and the straw, of new decrees and new parents, of heavenly hosts and a baby King. May the twinkling glory of Christmas Eve breathe peace and life into your heart today.

The Friend We’ve Always Wanted and Have Been Waiting For

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I was six years old when I had my first best friend. Tonya was only one year older than I was, and she lived directly across the street, a convenient setup for a budding childhood friendship.

But right before I turned seven years old, my family moved to another state halfway across the United States. The day the movers arrived, my parents found me hiding in the living room drapes, crying at the prospect of leaving everything familiar behind, including my best friend Tonya. I was utterly inconsolable, certain this move was the end of life itself.

Of course, life would continue, even without Tonya. And within months of being in my new state, my new church, my new school, and my new neighborhood, I found another best friend. And this one proved even sweeter than the first. For the rest of my childhood, we shared birthdays and holidays, and summer break was often spent at each other’s house. Her parents became my second parents, and vice versa. And when we married, we both shared the big day with the other.

Even now, more than forty years later, our friendship continues. Though we no longer live in the same geographical area, our hearts are intertwined and always will be. We’ve raised children and buried parents; bought, sold, and remodeled houses; and tackled various health challenges and ministry challenges. And though we don’t often have time together, in person or over the phone, we both would drop everything and jump on a plane or train if the other needed us. There is no question. And no matter how much time passes in between visits, when we find ourselves face-to-face, it takes no time at all to share the intimate details of our lives with each other.

We’re friends, through and through, and we have very few secrets between us.

When King David faced difficulties in his life — everything from a fractured family to political upheaval — he too needed the solace of a best friend. And, as cheesy as it may sound, David found solace in his friendship with God. When everything felt precarious, when he sinned and failed, and he had no clue what he should do, he turned to the Father of his soul and poured out his heart.

Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.
Psalm 25:4-5 (NIV)

“My hope is in you all day long,” he claimed. Over and over again, in the stories of David captured on the pages of the Old Testament, we see evidence of that fact. Even when David sinned and tried to hide from the Almighty, he eventually turned to his best friend and laid his heart bare.

What I find compelling, however, is not David’s transparency but God’s.

The Lord confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
Psalm 25:14-15 (NIV)

In verse 14, David recalls how the intimacy he shared with the Almighty wasn’t one-sided. Instead, the Lord confided in him, as well, reassuring David of His covenantal promise of relationship. David found solace, not only in his communication with God but in how God simultaneously revealed His heart to him. It was a two-way relationship — friend to friend, face to face. Moses had a similar experience with God, as recorded in Exodus 33:11: “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.”

Do you realize what this means for you and me? Don’t rush past this until the truth has fully infiltrated your heart with its implications: God Himself wants to confide in you. The word confide means to share secrets with. That means the One who made you, the One who holds all things in His hands, wants to show Himself to you and share His heart with you. He will not withhold Himself from you but rather longs to draw you into communion with Him. Jesus made the same claim:

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:15 (NIV)

Life gets lonely sometimes, friends. There are days when, in spite of the various humans surrounding us, we still feel all alone. But we mustn’t forget: There is One who is already ready to share His secrets with us, One who knows us better than all the others and loves us anyway, One who promises to never leave us and always stay close.

The friend we’ve always wanted and have been waiting for — a best friend. And His name is Jesus.