Let Go of What Costs You Your Peace

Let Go of What Costs You Your Peace

by

I was thirty years old, pregnant, with a great job, a wonderful husband, a nice home, and a promising future in my career.

And I was miserable. I had no peace.

I know. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, at least not on the surface. But someone reading these words right now knows that life can look pretty on the outside but be a tangled ball of Christmas lights on the inside.

I was a news reporter at the time, and my life was spent moving from one news assignment to another: tornadoes, homicides, political rallies, plane crashes. I was fueled by caffeine and adrenaline. If I slowed down enough to get honest with myself — which rarely happened — I knew that my push for success was costing me my peace. But as my belly grew bigger, I began to finally ponder what would happen if I kept running at the pace that I was running.

If I wasn’t going to slow down for myself, I at least needed to slow down for this tiny human growing inside of me.

Then she was born. I was undone immediately. I knew there was no going back to the life that I once idolized. My husband and I decided we would move back to the farm, and I think we even shocked ourselves when we spoke the words out loud.

We definitely shocked our friends.

They couldn’t believe we would leave behind dream careers and the adventurous lives we were living. They told us things like,

“You’re wasting your potential.”
“You’re throwing away your career.”

There were times I asked myself if they were right. But then I started asking myself a different question: “What if they’re wrong?” Because they weren’t the ones who were paying the price for our accelerated pace of life. We were.

Our way of life was costing us our peace, and we had to make a change.

The Bible tells us to “let the peace of Christ rule” in our hearts (Colossians 3:15), but I know that the opposite is often true. We can get so busy chasing a certain kind of life that we accidentally allow chaos to rule in our hearts.

It’s Sunday today — a day set aside for rest. Take a moment on this set-aside day of rest to get honest with yourself. Explore where your heart is at peace, and where your heart is in chaos.

If you don’t have peace about the job, the boyfriend, the career transition, the bad habit, the stress in your life, the _______________ [you fill in the blank], push pause right now. Ask yourself: “What would it look like to make a change?”

I know you might be thinking that you can’t afford to push pause at the moment. Who’s got time for that? But what if you can’t afford to not to.

Maybe it’s time to let go of the things that are costing you your peace.

Let go of the things that cause undue stress.
Let go of the things that keep you awake at night.
Let go of the habits that help you cope and numb.
Let go of the scrolling that just makes you more on edge.

And then, grab hold of the things that bring you joy. Grab hold of the habits that make you healthier. Grab hold of the relationships that make you more of who God made you to be. Grab hold of your faith, your family, your hope, your peace.

I know that it can be hard to make a switch, even in the little things. Give yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of time (but not too much time). The loss of peace doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t always come back with the snap of your fingers. Honestly, it took years for me to trade chaos for peace. But it happened, one decision at a time, one step at a time.

I believe the same is possible for you. Step by step, decision by decision, trade your heart of chaos for a heart ruled by the peace of Christ.

Does the World Seem Dark? Here’s the Hope You Need Today

by

The rough wooden boardwalk is cool beneath my feet as I make my way to the sand. The sky is still the thick, deep blue of night, and gray shadows sway in the salty wind. I sleepily take my husband’s hand. I’m not a morning person, but we’re on vacation and I’m determined to see the sun climb like a rising warrior above the waves at least once.

As we get closer to the shore, we can see more people who have decided to forsake pillows for flip-flops along with us. They sit on huge pieces of stranded driftwood, stroll along the edge of the water with cameras in hand, or sip from coffee cups with dazed looks on their faces. I notice one woman lifting her eyes to the still-night sky, and I am curious. What does she see?

When I follow her example, I am greeted by diamonds thrown out on velvet. One star in particular winks brilliantly back at me. I find out later it’s actually the planet Venus, otherwise known as the Morning Star. Here is its mystery and beauty: Venus is known for rising in the darkest part of the night, just before dawn. Jesus said, “I am the . . . bright Morning Star” (Revelation 22:16). This means, among other things, He is not afraid of the deepest dark.

He is not frightened by the secret places in our hearts. The ones that haven’t seen daylight for years. The kind with the locks on the doors. The sort we don’t say out loud or even fully admit to ourselves. He is not running scared from the tragedies in our lives. He is not backing away from the brokenness and the bitterness and the shattered dreams. He is not intimidated by the monsters under our beds or inside our minds. He is not avoiding the struggles or the addictions. He is not waving His hands in surrender to the enemies of our souls. He is not saying, “This is too much for me.”

Jesus is not afraid to step right into the night, not afraid to even dwell in the middle of it, because He is light. And in Him, there is not darkness at all.

This means darkness can surround Him, and He cannot be defeated or diminished by it. He came as a baby into a midnight world and announced His arrival with a shining star. He conquered death in a dark tomb and rolled the stone away, making a way into the brightness for all of us. In the thickest gloom, the Morning Star rose.

In our story of humanity, it feels like we are in a Morning Star moment right now, the darkest part of the night, just before dawn. We have come through a time of fear and isolation, division and destruction, mourning and waiting, hoping, praying. So we need to know that when Jesus said, “I am the bright Morning Star,” it means He is here with us in times like this one. He is the hope we can cling to, the light that has come and is coming, the One who will usher in a new day.

“His mercies never end. They are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22–23). As I watch the sun slip into the morning sky and fill it with gold and flame, I bear witness that these words are true. Venus, the Morning Star that foreshadowed all this light and blazing glory, seems to be more than just a planet; it suddenly also seems to be a promise — a daily reminder from the heart of our Creator that even the deepest night will lead to dawn. The dark cannot win; the light will never be overcome.

If you’d like more encouragement like this, you’ll find it in Holley Gerth’s new ebook, Fear, I’m Over You: A 21-Day Challenge to Live with Less Worry and More Courage.

Introducing Six New (in)courage Contributors!

by

Can Christmas in April be a thing? Because today sure feels like it. We are like giddy sisters jumping out of our skin in excitement to share with you the gift of six new (in)courage writers! (Cue poppers and twinkle lights!)

For quite a while, we’ve felt like it was time to widen the circle and ask more women to pile into the (in)courage living room. We picture this virtual living room full of couches, overstuffed chairs, comfy floor pillows — a place where we can always scooch over to make more room, a place for belly laughter and passing boxes of tissues to catch our tears. In the living room, we lean in to hear stories that affirm our own experiences and to learn from perspectives unlike our own. Most importantly, this is a space that focuses on Jesus. We lean on each other’s shoulders and lift one another’s faces so that we can all see and remember that God is with us — right here, right now, always.

At (in)courage, we value building community, celebrating diversity, and becoming women of courage. There’s no doubt the six writers joining the (in)courage team will help us continue to do just that. Their voices, their stories, their words of joy and struggle and encouragement will be gifts we hope you enjoy unwrapping all year long.

Without further ado, please join us in welcoming six new contributors to the (in)courage living room! Let’s get to know them a bit in their own words.

Aarti Sequeira:


Hi! My name is Aarti Sequeira, and if you heard me talking to you right now, you might have trouble placing the accent! Let me explain: I’m a third-culture kid — my soul is forever rooted in India where I was born, with blossoms in the Middle East where I grew up and attended a British-run school (which gave me an incredible education and the Queen’s accent), and now bearing fruit in the ultimate biryani pot, the United States. I’m married to a Boston Irish-American man, Brendan, my college sweetheart. We have two delightful daughters, Eliyah and Moses. We just uprooted ourselves from Los Angeles, our home of twenty years, to Raleigh, North Carolina. And of course, the most important identity of all, I was saved in my twenties by the one and only Jesus, and I have chased His heart ever since.

As a Food Network host and cookbook author, I try to take the unfamiliar and weave them into the familiar, drawing inspiration from spice bazaars, farmers markets, grandmothers, and chefs I love, all whilst singing His praises for giving us tastebuds and dinner tables. I see cooking as a privilege, a peek into the joy God feels when He creates.

My hope though is that you’ll get to know me as more than just a food-obsessed TV personality. I struggle with insecurity and imposter syndrome and have only recently trampled on the tentacles of postpartum depression. I simultaneously feel ill-equipped for dealing with the tensions of the world, and hopeful that I — that all of us — have been made for such a time as this. I’m praying that as I weep at His feet or run to His arms in fear or shake my fist at Him in anger, I may find you running along the same path. And I pray we’ll all find comfort, truth, and succor at the throne of the ever-living Almighty God. Glory glory glory.

Jami Nato:

Hello new friends! I am Jami Nato, here in the lush tropics of Kansas City. I have been married for twelve or fifteen years (I cannot remember numbers), have four children (ranging from fourteen to sixteen years old), and really like using parentheses! I am what I like to call “multi-passionate” as I like to renovate homes, be an entrepreneur, perpetually write a book I might never release, and run a coffee shop even though I don’t drink coffee (Why am I weird?). I tend to discuss heavier topics like our infidelity story or raising a special needs kiddo and then swing into humor, giving everyone a gentle whiplash for the day. I particularly love making light of items while shopping at Target, including and not limited to the unbearable swimsuit section each year in which the options range from 3 strings loosely tied to triangles or a full-body snorkel suit.

However people come to see me online or in person, I hope mostly they see I’m a soft landing place for the gospel. We all are so tired and wounded (especially after the year we’ve been in) and I want people to know that God’s love is for them — even now, especially now. I hope you get some laughs, but more than anything, I hope your love for God grows after you spend time with me.

Kathi Lipp:


Hey friends, I’m Kathi. And like most of us, my life is defined by contradictions:

  • I’ve lived my whole life in the tech capital of Silicon Valley but ran away last year to the mountains with 2002-quality internet.
  • I’m a full-time writer, who is severely dyslexic (thank God for editors).
  • I love Jesus and sometimes struggle to make Him a part of my day-to-day life.

Yeah, I have issues. And if, by any chance, you do too, we’re going to get along just fine.

I’m crazy in love with my husband Roger (second marriage for both of us). When I’m not writing or podcasting about my favorite topic, clutter, and there isn’t a pandemic, we’re hosting writers, church leaders, and friends at our retreat center, The Red House, in the Sierra Nevada mountains with our ten-pound livestock guardian dog Moose and a bunch of chickens (Pictured is Pepper, who thinks she’s a rooster. Yeah, we all have issues.).

I’m honored to be here, and I’m looking forward to doing life and issues and Jesus with all of you.

Melissa Zaldivar:

Well, hey from Massachusetts! I’m Melissa and I grew up in California, went to school in Chicago, worked in the South, and now New England is home. I’m a proud aunt to seven nieces and a nephew and spend my free time walking around farms, hanging out with my friends at the Antique Store, and trying to capture everything in photos, film, and words. When we’re not in a pandemic, I also work as a tour guide at Orchard House, the home of Little Women. I’m a fan of anything historical, literary, and theological, but I also can get behind a good sandwich, belting to 90’s lady country in my car and making ridiculous Instagram stories. I’m single and grateful and certain that life is still plenty full without a ring on my finger (though I wouldn’t be mad about it if the right guy came along.)

The last two years have been some of the hardest as I’ve faced a whole lot of loss, grief, and loneliness, but I’m realizing that Jesus can be found in the rubble, too. We don’t need abundance to experience the abundant love of Christ, and He delights in us, even when it’s dark. Oh, and I also wrote a book and have a podcast, but honestly? They’re the least interesting thing about my life.

Rachel Kang:


Let’s skip the small talk and share stories from the heart, yeah? My name is Rachel, but everyone who knows and loves me calls me Rae. I love deep and live hard, and I have a treasure chest spilling over with journals to prove it. I’m a New York girl living in North Carolina with my husband and two boys. I am a Manhattan mural of my own, swirling with African American, Native American, Irish, and Dutch descent. I didn’t always use my words to do good. I once filled pages of journals with soliloquies and secrets — ugly words spoken from the dark and deep inside of me. But then the Light broke through like a dawning sunrise, and now people tell me that my words help them breathe deep and feel known, and, really, that’s all I care to have my life count for.

I’m the creator of Indelible Ink Writers, an online community prompting people like you to bring forth bare words and brave art, and my first book on creativity as calling comes out next year! When I’m not playing hide-and-seek between the pages of a book, you’ll find me cupping porcelain filled with tea, all while writing poems, prose, and other pieces. And, sisters, it’s all joy, knowing my story is now colliding with all of yours.

Simi John:

My name is Simi. It’s not short for anything — just short and sweet like me (insert cheesy smile). For a long time I hated that my name was unique but didn’t have any meaning in my native Indian language. A few years ago, I discovered that in Hebrew Simi means abundance, and I was thrilled because my calling has always been to help people step into the abundant life that Jesus died to give them. My passion is to equip women to know who they are and live faithfully right where they are!

I was born in India, raised in Texas, and now I live in Oklahoma where my husband and I pastor a local church.  We have two beautiful little humans, so naturally, I require a lot of coffee and chai. I also work as a full-time physical therapist. In my spare time (what?), I enjoy speaking and writing. In 2020 I published my first devotional, I Am Not: Break Free from Stereotypes & Become the Woman God Made You To Be. I love Jesus more than I can say, but to know that He loves me — all of me, not just the Instagram highlight reel — just blows my mind. I can’t wait to share with you about His love and grace in this space on the internet.

______________________________________________________________

Anyone else wishing we could all pile into an actual living room right now for celebratory ice-cream sundaes and a big group hug? In the absence of being together in person, we give thanks for the gift of being connected as sisters in Christ in spirit. May God continue to knit our hearts together as His imperfect but perfectly-loved daughters.

Next week these six amazing women will each share their first article as an (in)courage contributor, so be sure to check back every day to continue to get to know them and be encouraged!

 

Strong Enough to Lean In

by

In the last few months I’ve had a fractured elbow, a gum tissue graft, and a massive infected cyst removed from my neck. For the love! It’s been so many weird and painful things in a row. With my kids doing distance learning for over a year and most of our activities on hold or on Zoom, we haven’t had as much as a cold in our household and then bam! — all the weird health things. No, nothing life-threatening or too scary, certainly not in comparison to situations others are facing, and because they’re not as bad as what others are indeed going through, it’s been easy to downplay these health issues I’ve been experiencing. But they aren’t nothing. They have been a big deal. My daily life has been impacted, and I’ve sure been miserable, in pain, and rendered pretty helpless at some points along the way.

It feels like I should be used to attending medical procedures alone. After all, I had a pandemic pregnancy and baby — who, by the way, is already seven months old. You’d think that with him being my fourth child, I’d be used to the swift passing of time especially during this first year of his life, but it turns out, I’m not used to it. Turns out it’s still bittersweet to see babies grow so quickly, and it’s still hard for me to walk into appointments alone, even ones that should be simple.

Really, I’m not used to anything, including asking for help, accepting care, and taking a break, and these past few months, I’ve had to do all of the above. My husband has faithfully bandaged, unpacked, cleaned, and re-bandaged the surgical site on my neck, which I could not see or reach. My daughter brushed my hair while my arm was wrapped in a sling. My sister dropped off headbands that would keep my postpartum baby hairs out of the medical tape on my neck, and my friend sent coffee money when the baby stopped sleeping and my mouth, swollen and stitched, could only handle icy liquids.

On the home front, we have extensively supported our local economy with our takeout orders. Grocery pickup has been a lifeline. I have given thanks that my husband and I still work from home. All of those things have made life easier, which in turn helped make the pain bearable.

While I am not great at accepting it all, I am learning that in a way, being dependent is a good thing. My friend Amanda calls it being “strong enough to lean.” How smart is that? And so, lean I will, right into the arms that hold the strongest. I’m learning to lean in, depend on, and accept the care God is offering us all the time. And that care reminds me of a mom.

Think about the best mom you know. Maybe it’s your own mother or a friend. Maybe it’s a lady at church. If you went to her in a frazzled and overwhelmed state, what would she tell you to do to take care of yourself?

Most likely, she would make sure you’re comfortable on the couch, perhaps with a fuzzy blanket. She’d get you a glass of water. Then she might advise you to take a shower. Go to sleep. Turn off the TV. Stop scrolling. Close the laptop. Call a friend. Wear clean clothes. Laugh. Read a book. Eat food that helps your body and have dessert. Forgive yourself. Forgive the other person.

The care that this amazing mom offers? That is what God offers to us.

God wants to care for us like the best mother there ever was — ready to help put our minds at ease, invite us to practices that help our whole selves, and/or give us a kick in the pants to shake it off and get moving. Maybe a combination of it all because that might be what we really need.

Just as a mother constantly thinks about and cares for her children, God does the same for us. Psalm 139:17-18 says:

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!

God thinks of us more often than there are grains of sand. He cares for us, and He’d like us to care for ourselves too. That care might look like a doctor’s appointment to check on that weird thing, or it might look like drinking that glass of water, or going to bed early, or praying when you worry. It might also look like accepting help and care, admitting when things are a big deal and when we need to be taken care of.

Let’s be strong enough to lean in — to God and others — and let’s do what we need to do to take care of ourselves well.

Traveling the Globe from the Comfort of Home

by

Sometimes when life hands you lemons, you have to make lemon meringue pie. Or maybe you go all in for lemon primavera pasta or a French lavender-infused lemon tart or Mediterranean garlic-lemon chicken kebabs! Well, you get the idea. Make lemonade if you have to, but don’t sit around feeling sour.

This past December, we were supposed to be heading to the airport to catch our flight to the Big Island of Hawaii. This was a special trip my husband Shawn and I booked for the week after Christmas as a gift to our three daughters and my parents. After almost a year of sheltering-at-home and changing plans because of the global pandemic, we thought maybe we could squeeze in an end-of-the-year, we-survived-the-craziness vacation. Our family has Polynesian roots, and we were eager to visit the place where my grandparents had met.

We knew we were taking a risk, but we were hopeful. (And the airline said our tickets were fully refundable.) We already canceled plans earlier in the year to visit friends in Germany and travel to France. I also canceled a work trip to Cabo, Mexico and plans to attend a conference in Michigan at my alma mater.

Alas, COVID-19 numbers surged in California in December. Our governor asked people to cancel their travel plans and stay home for the holidays. Hospitals were full to capacity across the state. We finally decided it was best to cancel our trip to Hawaii and hunker down at home.

Needless to say, we were all disappointed. I have to admit this travel-loving, adventure-seeking mama right here was beyond discouraged, frustrated, and shed some tears over this one. My soul was weary by the end of 2020.

That Sunday — the day before we were supposed to depart — my sweet husband suggested we host a luau at home. “If we can’t go to Hawaii, let’s bring Hawaii to them,” he said.

He encouraged me to order some Hawaiian barbecue from a local restaurant and pick out a movie to watch as a family. I perked up a bit. Sounded fun! I needed a diversion to lift me from my sadness of having to cancel four much-anticipated trips that year and my own cabin fever.

When I shared the idea with my girls and parents, they took it to the next level. My fourteen-year-old, who spent the first decade of her life traveling internationally and doing missions work with her dad and me, suggested we explore a different country each day of our vacation. She started a spreadsheet and a Pinterest board right away. I hauled out my international cookbook collection, and we all started planning not just a luau but a virtual trip around the world.

An idea was born: traveling the globe from the comfort of home.

We spent Christmas break trying out new recipes, reading books aloud, watching movies in the evenings, and discussing snippets of history we were learning about the different people groups and countries. What started as disappointing turned into a wonderful two weeks of exploration.

Our circumstances challenged us to consider why we love traveling and learning about other cultures so much. We believe God uniquely created each one of us in His image. If we want to grow in our understanding of God, we need to grow in our knowledge about each other.

In college, I spent a semester in Costa Rica and traveled throughout Central America. I delighted in new foods like gallo pinto, tres leches cake, and refresco drinks made from all kinds of fruits we did not have in the United States. As I honed my Spanish language skills, I also gained a greater knowledge and respect for Central American history. Although I do not have any Central American roots, I felt somehow at home in these cultures.

After college, I took a missions trip to Haiti. I fell in love with the people there, especially the children who were so inquisitive and innovative with very few resources. I eventually moved to Haiti to teach English to pastors and started a non-profit there with my late husband. My Haitian sisters and brothers taught me about perseverance and courage, and my faith deepened as I witnessed their exuberant faith.

As Paul illuminates in Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12, God created each one of us as unique parts of the same body. Each part of the body plays an important role and function. We need each other because our differences serve as an invitation to experience the nuanced glory of God.

Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it.
1 Corinthians 12:14-18 (NLT)

We all may have to consider travel a little differently moving forward. And yet, it’s important that we still open our hearts to what we might learn from all image bearers of God. When we explore the food, culture, music, and history of people around the world, we gain a greater experience of God’s Kingdom.

___________________________________________________________________

Dorina’s family curated a robust list of books, recipes, music, dances, games, and video recommendations for your family to learn about countries and cultures you might not be able to visit in today’s circumstances. Global Glory Chasers was created in partnership with Dr. Lucretia Berry, founder of Brownicity. Global Glory Chasers will be a monthly membership program housed in the Brownicity learning community for learners of all ages.

Join the monthly membership program to travel the world from the comfort of your home! 

And to celebrate, Dorina and Lucretia are giving away a FREE 3-month membership to Global Glory Chasers AND a signed copy of Dorina’s children’s book, Cora Cooks Pancit!* To enter, tell us in the comments which country you’d like to learn about, and we’ll choose one lucky winner!

Then tune in tomorrow, April 29th, at 4:00 pm CST on Facebook for a live conversation with Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young and Becky Keife as they discuss this fabulous new course.

 

*Giveaway open to US addresses only and ends 11:59 pm CST on May 1, 2021. 

Becoming All Things To All People

by

Not long after my husband and I got married and settled into our apartment in Chicago, we befriended a couple who had recently moved to the U.S. from Iran. The first time we met, we barely spoke because they didn’t know much English and we didn’t speak Farsi. In fact, the first time we went over to their apartment to hang out, conversation was still relatively sparse. We sat around a small television, watching a soccer game, and trying at times to make comments about anything — the game, church, school — but without much success. To be honest, after that first hangout, we hadn’t covered much relational ground. The differences in our cultures and languages meant there were more moments of dissonance and confusion than true understanding.

As my husband and I drove back home, we remarked about how hard cross-cultural relationships can be. It’s hard not to make deep connections right away. It’s hard not to understand the other person, and it’s just as hard to feel misunderstood. Sometimes, when we put ourselves out there, we make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt, rejected, sometimes even shamed. However, if we both hadn’t persevered, we would have missed out on a rich and beautiful friendship.

Each subsequent time the four of us met up, we learned more about each other. Our new friends would teach us phrases in Farsi. When we went to their home, they would make us homemade Persian food. Likewise, when they came to our apartment, we would make either Indian or Mexican food. Eventually, we also met each other’s friends. One evening over dinner we laughed until our sides hurt at the ways our mannerisms had begun to mimic each other. We’d spent so much time together that we had started to talk and act like each other too.

It takes a lot of work to connect across cultures. We could have easily quit and said, “This is too hard.” It’s easy to find excuses to let acquaintances or even friendships slide. We choose not to follow-up with another dinner invitation, or we don’t call the other person back because the last interaction was awkward or even frustrating. Sometimes we blame busyness or scheduling conflicts. But real relationships that are deep and that lead to healing across cultures take time and energy. They are also costly because much is required of us.

I love the way the Apostle Paul puts it in 1 Corinthians 9:22 when he writes, “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” This has become a life verse for me and a guide to connecting across cultures. These words in Scripture are an invitation to grow, change, and adapt who we are to connect with the people around us. My husband and I persisted with our Persian friends because we valued them as people and genuinely wanted to be friends. More importantly, we were willing to change and adapt ourselves to each other for the sake of our relationship. As a result, this couple is now dear, life-long friends.

Becoming all things to all people is also the model of Jesus. Jesus came to this earth as a brown-skinned, first-century Jewish man. The eternal Son of God transformed Himself, despite pain and hardship, to meet us on our terms. He embraced another nature to become like those He loved and navigated different languages (Aramaic and Greek) as well as different sociopolitical contexts (Jewish and Roman). He adapted to human culture, acquired our customs, languages, and pains in order to care for, heal, save, and unite us. Salvation was His goal, but the first step in saving us was crossing into our world and meeting us where we lived.

Jesus invites all of us to go on a journey of becoming all things to all people. The word becoming is a process of coming to be something. It’s a word that connotes change — changing who we are to connect with the people around us. To become all things to all people is not a code for appropriating or stealing other people’s cultures. Becoming all things to all people is a posture that desires to see the world through other people’s eyes, value what they value, and both center and honor their way of life. It’s also a posture that requires humility and flexibility.

The journey of becoming all things will stretch us and make us uncomfortable at times. It won’t be easy, but I promise it is worth it. No matter who we’re seeking to connect with, we can take it slow, knowing that Jesus is with us every step of the way.

 

Cultural identities and cross-cultural engagement are not things that anyone can choose to ignore anymore, least of all Christians. Many of us want to have diverse friends and are passionate about justice. But if we are serious about cross-cultural relationships — real relationships that lead to understanding, healing and solidarity across cultural lines — we need to be willing to change. And that’s not something that comes easy for any of us. In Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures, Michelle offers hope by showing what’s possible when all of us are willing to try something new.

Click here to purchase a copy for yourself. And for an extra copy to give to a friend, tell us who you’d like to give it to in the comments below — we’ll be choosing THREE winners!*

Then, tune in tomorrow, April 26th, at 1:00 pm CST on Facebook for a live conversation with Michelle Reyes and Becky Keife as they discuss this beautiful new book.

*Giveaway is open to US addresses only and will end at 11:59 pm CST on April 30, 2021.

Be Still My Soul: Embracing the Need for Rest

by

“I don’t do down time very well.” How often have I thought or spoken these words? Although I know it’s important, I often have trouble embracing my need for rest. I pressure myself to check items off a never-ending to-do list and allow myself to believe the lie that rest equates to laziness.

We’ve pushed past the one year mark of the pandemic, but the news continues to bring me anxiety and sorrow: violence, vaccines, and my family’s unique struggles. Lately, however, I’ve realized rest can help me cope with stresses, both slight and substantial.

In Matthew 11:18, Jesus tells us, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Rest is a gift He offers to the weary.

I’m welcoming it into my life in three key areas, bringing rest to my body, spirit, and soul:

First, I’m embracing rest for my body by delighting in God’s creation. My parents loved plants, and I remember their favorite nursery and the fascination of walking through its warm, humid greenhouses as a child. Our home was filled with the beauty of God’s creation — from the rosy red geraniums my mother added to our window boxes each spring to the majestic ponytail palm in our front window to the graceful weeping willow that stood in the back of our yard.

Now I delight day-by-day as spring awakens the plants and trees in the yard of our new home — flowering pear, cherry, and dogwood trees, hardy lavender, creeping succulents, and a beautiful Japanese red maple.

I pull out old, worn field guides, join online plant identification groups, and text photos to my plant-savvy oldest son searching for answers to my questions: Are these budding bushes rhododendron or azaleas? What are the dozens of new shoots pushing up through the soil around our deck? Is this straggly little Charlie Brown tree actually something special?

For years I believed I could write about and photograph plants but not grow them. I joked about how I couldn’t keep plants alive. Inspired by the Spring chapter in Myquillyn Smith’s book Welcome Home and the way my oldest daughter found comfort through tending plants while isolating last year, I’m filling our home and yard with new life: trailing ivy, shade-loving hostas, fragrant rosemary, vibrant purple hydrangeas, an eye-catching variety commonly called a hope plant, and a quirky little ponytail palm that reminds me of home. I’ve catalogued them in an app that tells me where to place them and when to water them. I don’t want to kill my plants from either too much or too little love.

Appreciating and tending to God’s creation requires me to slow down and engage my sense of sight, smell, and touch. This is rest for my body.

Second, I’m embracing rest for my spirit through reading. I used to end every day with at least thirty minutes of quiet time with a book; it was the perfect wind-down to my day. Over the years, I’m sad to say I’ve allowed catching up on email and social media accounts to edge out that special time.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I bought my first Kindle. It’s one of my favorite COVID purchases. Most nights I prop extra pillows behind me in bed and escape into occupied France during WWII, the heart of the Russian Revolution, sleuthing along with the detective in a whodunit or an occasional romantic comedy.

I pair my Bible study and devotional time with breakfast, so I bookend my day with the written word. I believe reading builds empathy, and we all could use more of that. Through reading, I’m finding rest for my spirit. 

Last, I’m embracing rest for my soul as I pray and release. I used to say yes too often until I was buried by all the tasks I’d agreed to perform. When I learned to delegate, it allowed me to release responsibilities I didn’t need to carry and invited others to share the burden with me.

Worries will weigh you down, but prayer will provide life-changing peace if you unshackle your troubles and hand them over to God. Then, trust Him to handle the outcome. Pray and release: this is rest for our souls.

As Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Do your body, spirit, or soul need to rest? How have you expanded or built any new rhythms of rest during the pandemic?

Your Story Is Worthy to Be Told

by

Last year February before the pandemic hit, I finished a three-day personal retreat at a conference center along the beach. I spent time praying and journaling on the shore to prepare my heart for writing my new book, Sweet Like Jasmine, about how God makes beauty out of our brokenness. I had packed my bags in the car to go home when I decided to take one last walk.

I saw a woman sitting by herself in a wheelchair looking at the ocean, and as I passed by, I paused, turned to her, and said, “How beautiful you look soaking in the ocean! May I ask what brings you here?”

The woman started crying, tears filling up her gentle blue eyes and rolling down her cheeks. She swallowed to collect herself, struggling to get her words out, inhaling and exhaling each word.

I nodded, relaxed my shoulders, and sat down to show her I wasn’t going anywhere.

“I get . . . very . . . upset . . . when . . . I . . . feel . . . emotional,” she replied with great effort.

“I understand,” I said, pausing to let my patience reassure her. I silently prayed, Touch her with Your peace, Jesus. Help me to listen.

“Most people give up waiting for me to talk,” she continued. “They don’t like that I keep crying.” She spoke each word, flinching with difficulty.

“It’s hard to talk if you feel overwhelmed,” I said to her. “It’s okay. Pain is hard for people to be comfortable with.”

As she wiped her tears, I offered, “I love the ocean. The ocean is never in a rush. We can just rest.”

A smile broke through. I gently asked, “Has it always been difficult to share?”

My new friend shared her story. She had lupus, which debilitated her motor skills and impacted her speech.

When I asked about her faith, she said church friends judged her lack of faith and blamed her for not praying enough. It broke my heart to hear that. I affirmed her, “God is so loving, but I’m sorry you didn’t receive the care you deserved.”

I shared about my own journey of healing and how God helped me to stop hiding my story. I told her the parts of my story that I felt were flawed, but I also talked about how God mended my heart with His love and how He taught me embrace my true worth just as I am.

“May I pray for you?” I asked gently.

“Yes,”  she whispered. I placed my hand on hers. We prayed, then hugged. My friend looked radiant.

It might seem easier to hide our flaws, but God makes beauty out of brokenness when we are willing to be honest and share our stories. When we do, others can feel safe to also share their stories, and God brings us close to one another, even allowing strangers to become friends. Through our stories, we offer the gift of rest and acceptance to each other.

God takes the stories we’ve lived through to show others that He is faithful to carry us through our hard times. Alone and isolated, we stay invisible, but when we open our hearts and share, we won’t be lonely anymore. We will be loved, and we will be made stronger.

Friend, is God calling you to step out of your comfort zone and share more of yourself? If you feel afraid, let me offer you this encouragement:

God values and treasures the beautiful parts of you that others have overlooked. He makes beauty out of brokenness. Everything you endure can become a sheltering tree of peace to others, so don’t be afraid to share. Your story is worthy to be told.

But now, says the Lord—
the one who created you, Jacob,
    the one who formed you, Israel:
Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name; you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1 (CEB)

How is God showing you that He makes beauty out of brokenness?

Receive a FREE audiobook of Bonnie’s new book Sweet Like Jasmine: Finding Identity in a Culture of Loneliness & get access to Bonnie’s Exclusive Book Club when you preorder her beautiful book! Encourage your heart. Sign up here! Follow me on Instagram @thebonniegray.

More Than Meets the Eye on Social Media

by

I stack the dirty plates and bowls in the sink, organizing the chaos before I begin the mundane task of washing them. I pump blue dishwashing soap onto the sponge, and while my hands work to wash bits of breakfast and lunch off the plain white Corelle plates, my mind turns to wandering. I look out the window to watch the next door neighbor doing renovations to their house, and I wonder if stress levels are elevated in their home or if this is a normal part of their life. The wall separating our homes only lets me see the heads of the construction workers and half a window — an opening too small to figure out what room it opens up to and what they could possibly be working on to better their living space. 

I don’t know much about our neighbor and his wife except from what I’ve seen and pieced together from our short interactions. The husband is friendly, always waving hi to our kids as they bike by his house, and he walks his two stocky dogs, which remind me of the three-headed dog in the first Harry Potter movie, around the neighborhood at least once a day.

I wonder about their life as I watch through the kitchen window, but at best, I can only imagine the life they lead, what makes them laugh or cry, the level of happiness in their home, and the pain they could be facing. Half a window and neighborhood small talk only give a shadow of a glimpse into their lives and the kind of people they are. 

I think about how little we know of people as I scroll through social media later that night. I live vicariously through pictures of my friends’ beach vacations, and I amen every powerful post written about the intersections of faith, life, our humanity, and justice. For a brief moment, I wonder about the people behind the words, the pictures, and the kind of lives they have, the motivation and inspiration that brought them to their phones to share their convictions and art with us. And though I know this little square window only shows a sliver of who they are, I’m quick to create a whole story about them, adding reasonable assumptions and possible details. I create a person in my mind from what I see, and I either elevate them with honor, judge them without insight, or envy them. I flatten a three-dimensional, real human being into a two-dimensional character — someone easy to compartmentalize and understand instead of the complex people they really are.

And then, in the midst of my thoughts, I see Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey. The people shout, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!” (Luke 19:38 ESV), but they can’t see Him fully for who He is. They only see Him for who they want Him to be — a king to rule over them. And He will disappoint them by dying on the cross. They could only see what they could from their perspective, but there was so much more to who Jesus was and why He had come. 

My insides squirm as I remember this moment in history, and defensive words come to the tip of my soul, ready to explain away my part in making an angel or demon of someone I don’t know well enough. I want to argue that this is how social media is and that I can’t know better because what I see is all I see and that everyone else is doing it too. But my defense is lacking, and God invites me to sit in the discomfort of my convictions: I only see in part, and what I see is not the whole of someone’s personhood. It’s just a glimpse.

The rebuke is kind because I need it, and my heart softens in repentance. I ask God to remind me every day, every time, I want to reduce someone to a story I make up about them from the slivers of what I get to see on social media: Help me to see the whole humanity of the person as beloved by You. 

Stories of Courageous Joy

by

I know the Lord calls us to be thankful at all times, to choose joy no matter what our surroundings or circumstances look like.

It’s not easy, but I get to choose whether I face the challenges, the frustrations, the disappointments of life with a joyful heart or a bitter one. Choosing joy requires a strength I don’t have, a reserve I can only find when I lean on God and allow Him to turn my resentment to rejoicing.

By Mary Carver, as published in Courageous Joy

We are loving hearing about the ways our new Bible study, Courageous Joy: Delight in God Through Every Season, has been impacting women everywhere, its message already deeply weaving its way into your hearts. We have seen and loved your selfies, underlined passages, shared quotes, and dog-eared pages as you dig deep to experience true joy right where you are.

So today, we’re highlighting a few of those stories from our community! Read on for the ways the Courageous Joy Bible Study has touched hearts (and scroll for info on our upcoming Online Bible Study — it’s not too late to join!):

I have to say I am floored. I’ve done other studies where there are just Scriptures broken up into different parts and then space for notes. That’s it. No real life application. No questions that encourage in-depth study. That is not the case with this study. Not only will you explore joy, but you’ll have real life, practical applications to help you understand and comprehend more. I highly encourage anyone who needs a little bit more “joy” (don’t we all) in their lives to pick up this study. You won’t regret it.
– Adrienne

I would give this book so many more stars if I were able. I am still in the process of going through this study. I find myself wanting to savor every moment and to read and re-read the rich text. The stories that provide an opening to the topic for each day are applicable to every stage of life. I am an empty nester and grandmother, but I find something to hold onto and to apply every day. And I see so much that would apply equally as well to my daughter and daughter-in-law who are raising babies and toddlers. I plan to gift them both with this wonderful study.
– Christina

This Bible study is amazing; one of the best I’ve encountered. It takes real life examples and teaches Biblical truths in a way that touches lives. For me personally, in a time when the stresses of life seemed to be crashing in around me, day after day in the study I was reminded where my joy comes from. Not from life. Not from circumstances. Not from happy events. Only from God! One of many quotes I’ve embraced from the book is this — “God’s great love for us meets us in the middle of our grief and hardships.” Even when life seems overwhelming, we can have joy because God is enough! That is #CourageousJoy.
– Jeannette

This study is exactly what my heart needed in this season of life! Each day is like breathing in new life again. I feel like I’m catching a breath of joy for the first time in a very long time. It’s the reminder that joy — true joy cannot be found in things or people or significance from others. True joy can only be found in relationship with our Father. In Him, constant relationship and communication through His Word is life-giving and fills us with the abundant life He wants for us. I cannot wait to see what else this study will reveal to me, but I know God is walking through it with me, filling me bit by bit with His joy so it will overflow in me! This will be a great group study! Grab your friends and dig into Courageous Joy!
– Shandyn

See what we mean? Such wonderful testimonies about the way this study has woven its way into hearts and lives and has helped women find joy right where they are.

The Courageous Joy Bible Study, written by Mary Carver and featuring stories from the (in)courage community, is now available where books are sold, and we are so excited to hear how the heartfelt stories and biblical truth in Courageous Joy impact your heart. When you get your copy, snap a picture for Instagram, tag @incourage, and include #courageousjoy in your caption so we can share in the fun!

And join us for our upcoming Online Bible Study as we work our way through Courageous Joy together! Sign up for the Online Bible Study, and we’ll send you the first week of the Courageous Joy Bible Study for FREE so you can start reading right away! The study starts May 3rd, so it’s not too late to join (and we so hope you will). Let’s take a deep dive into what God says about joy!

A Letter to My White Mom

by

Dear Mom,

I remember sitting on your lap as a child. Our living room was filled with the scent of curry, spice, and summer. The windows were wide open, and the neighbors knew the sound from our floorboards on a Friday night meant worship was happening. I sat on your lap well past the necessary age because being close to your skin felt safest. On Friday evenings, the world would gather in our home. You invited everyone in. You picked up a blind woman from a street corner once, African refugees, and Chinese students that didn’t know any English. You never hesitated to welcome in a stranger, an outcast, a misfit, a non-English speaking foreigner, a wanderer, a person of light, brown, or Black skin. Everyone was equal. In your eyes, everyone needed Jesus. 

I remember sitting in our living room while the drums shook our old farmhouse to the bone. I could feel the beat from the bounce of your leg. I could feel it in my heart. All the accents sang the same words. It made me feel alive. At the bridge of the song, “Welcome to the Family,” the worship leader invited us all to stand up, sing, and greet each other. This was my favorite part. The seventy people crammed into our living room stood and embraced each other. I climbed over couches and folding chairs to extend my arms to strangers who happened to stop by for a meal and worship and to learn who this Jesus person was. Each person needing a home. I was so happy. I couldn’t stop smiling. The drums never stopped pounding until every single person was welcomed. 

I remember sitting on your bed for our daily discussions. You would sip your tea. I’d tell you about my day. You would look at me and marvel, “You are so beautiful. Your skin is the perfect color.” I’d jump off your bed and look at my reflection and smile. I was beautiful. Not because I knew what the measure of beauty was, but because you thought I was, so it must be true.

Mom, I remember the way you sat beside me when the day was done. You would stroke my dark hair down my back and sing hymns, songs, and lullabies as I fell asleep.

You’ve always sat beside me. You are white. I am brown. Your skin burns in the sun; mine only darkens. I wonder if the way through the clash of cultures, race, and cancelation comes when we sit beside one another as you’ve sat beside me all these years. I wonder if moving forward starts when we make space for being wrong. 

Perhaps the way you’ve modeled love to me can give hope to our hurting world. You loved in a generous, selfless, and jaw-dropping way. You love in extraordinary ways. You gracefully clawed against cultural norms and created a God-culture in our home. Maybe that’s what heals all the pain — extraordinary love. The kind of extraordinary love that sees the difference but doesn’t make the difference hiccup, hesitate, hold up, or hold back. The kind of extraordinary love that laid down His life for a world that whipped Him instead of worshipped Him.

Mom, I know you are lamenting the political climate right now. I know you are hurting for the unborn. I know you are anxious about the future. I know you cringe at the hate crimes against your Asian sisters. I see your pain. My pain doesn’t diminish yours. Your pain doesn’t diminish mine. Listen to mine, and I’ll listen to yours. This is only possible because Christ’s arms are wide enough to receive all our pain. His arms were pinned and pulled wide as a way to take on all our hate, hurt, and hidden pain. His love is large enough to hold all the horrible sadness. By His wounds, we are healed. By our wounds, He heals us.

Lament is a love song. Sometimes the love song can sound like a banging drum, heavy metal hate, or fragile violin strings. But we must lament. There is space for us both to fall apart. There is space for me to sing my own sad song. At the feet of Christ, I can cry out for my children, and my soft wounds still fresh from harsh words spoken. My grief is split open with a gunshot. We grieve into our loss. We grieve into our shattered stories. We grieve into our sad storm. We grieve into Jesus. Our grief is heard. Our grief is safe. Our healing comes when we hear God’s love song over us; Christ sings over us (Zephaniah 3:17). 

I’ve pondered deeply how change can happen. I don’t toss out trite ideas, but I am throwing every hope of the possibility of change on the back of Jesus. Hope in our splitting world will require an extraordinary kind of love. The kind of ordinary love that you, my white mom, have shown me. The kind of extraordinary love that forgives the unforgivable, a love that reaches out a hand to those who are different from us, a love that bends into what feels uncomfortable. An extraordinary kind of love that listens to our lament songs, then has the incredible audacity to sing along with us. 

Love always,
Your Asian-American daughter

 

In the end, this letter isn’t just for my mom. It is for all of us — a letter of hope and a way forward for those who belong to the family of God. There is no way without the extraordinary love and sacrifice of Jesus. There is no way without extending extraordinary love to each other. So even when we sing our lament songs off-key and imperfectly, we keep singing. We heal when we hear God’s love song over us, His beloved children. In His perfect love and grace, He alone can create harmony out of our dissonance.

Dear sister in Christ, what are you grieving today? How do you see God healing you? In what ways can you offer extraordinary, irrational, over-the-top, undeserved love to another today?

How God’s Faithfulness Looks Like a Bottle of Trader Joe’s Seasoning

by

The discouragement was so deep within me, I could hardly stand it. 

My province was going into lockdown. Again. I knew this was coming, but the discouragement hit me harder this time. I’m not sure why. Just last month, I wrote on how this pandemic won’t last forever, and suddenly I was having a very hard time believing the words I’d once written. 

It wasn’t just the impending lockdown. I’d said yes to too many things and felt like I had too much on my plate. I was overwhelmed and at the end of my rope. I’d gone to bed with a stress headache and woken up with a clenched jaw. (I know, I sound like a blast to hang out with.)

I needed a change of pace and a change of scenery, and because I couldn’t stop the lockdown or magically complete any of my current projects, I settled for the one thing I could control: getting my mail. When I opened my slot in the apartment lobby, there was a little brown box waiting for me. 

I didn’t think I’d ordered anything recently, but maybe I’d forgotten about something. I took the box out from the mail slot and held it in my hands, noticing the name on the return label. 

It was from a friend of mine. She lives almost two thousand miles from me, and I wasn’t expecting anything from her.

Immediately, a smile formed on my lips. I shook the surprise package, and it felt like glass. What could this be? I used my keys to rip the package open before even going back upstairs. 

I opened the cardboard and gasped. 

My friend had sent me four bottles of Trader Joe’s Everything But The Bagel seasoning. 

“What?!” I said out loud to no one. 

I picked up one of the priceless bottles, bringing it to my nose and inhaling the scent, smelling the notes of onion and garlic and salt. I couldn’t believe it.

I live in Canada, and I’d lamented to my American friend months ago — quite dramatically — wondering if I would ever be able to cross the border and go to Trader Joe’s to buy this seasoning again. 

I stared at the box in my hands with those four bottles inside of it. Tears threatened in my eyes. It was just a couple bottles of seasoning and yet they said so much to me: I see you. I hear you. I love you. I’m thinking of you. 

My friend’s small act of kindness wasn’t small to me. It was huge. She didn’t remove the pandemic or the lockdown or even the projects from my plate, but she made me feel seen and known and loved. 

I think God often uses our small acts of kindness in that way — to turn someone’s day or season into a reminder of God’s faithfulness. I’m reminded of how Jesus took the loaves of fish and bread — someone’s small, meager offering — and transformed it into plenty. He happens to take our little and turn it into a lot. His math doesn’t always make sense to me, but I know for certain that He honors our small offerings.

I don’t know if God whispered to my friend in her California Trader Joe’s to buy seasoning for this Canadian girl, or if my friend was just being her kind and wonderful self, but I know for certain that God multiplied her offering. Her small kindness compounded into a thousand reminders for me: of the friendship I have with her, of the faithfulness of God, of how I am seen, known, loved, held, remembered, and cherished.

Sometimes God’s faithfulness looks like loaves and fishes, multiplied into dinner for thousands. But sometimes it just looks like four bottles of Trader Joe’s Everything But The Bagel seasoning.

Trusting God With All Our Heart

by

The staircase is dark and looming to a two-year-old. Her little feet push upward, but her pudgy hand can’t reach the light switch. With the kind of determined, stubborn bravery found only in toddlers, she chooses to climb the staircase in the dark, deciding that reaching her goal is worth the moments of fear. Her final target, waiting at the top of the stairs in the light? Mommy.

My brave girl wasn’t the only one navigating a darkened path during that time. That season was one of living in limbo. Our home had sold, and we — a family of five plus a dog — moved into my mother’s townhome. We were living on top of one another with boxes and people underfoot. We submitted offer after offer on homes in the area, and each one was passed over for another. With each offer, we asked God to lead and guide our path to a new home. And isn’t that how we could pray every day? That in following Him, He would guide us Home?

After seven offers had been submitted, my trust was faltering. Would God indeed take care of us? Would we be in our own home by my kids’ birthdays? By Christmas? By next year? I had no idea, but every day we weeded out more options, and it felt like we were making room for God’s path to widen, inch by inch.

Trusting God with all of our hearts doesn’t mean He will wrap up the job like we think He should, neat and tidy with a bow on top. If I’d had my way, we’d have been in a new home the day after we closed on our old one. But that’s not how it shook out. We ended up living with my mom for three months, and the seventh offer we submitted was the first one to be accepted. We moved into that new house with great joy, let me tell you.

Trusting God with all our heart means leaning on His understanding, knowing that whatever it is, His plan is enough, His plan is good, and all will be well. Those months living in such close quarters with my mom had their own kind of difficulty, but they also brought us all together in an irreplaceable way. She and my husband grew closer, and she bonded with our kids in a way that can only happen when living ordinary life together.

Trusting God with all our heart doesn’t mean answers will come swiftly, or even at all. I don’t understand everything, and I sometimes question the path He leads me down. But trusting God with all our hearts means we rely on and trust in God’s own understanding of His plan. It means we trust that God understands the how and why. It means we know that we don’t need to know everything; God does.

Trusting God with all our heart and thinking of Him in all our ways means opening our hearts to His path, scary and new and untraveled as it may be. It means stepping forward in faith, taking one stair at a time until we’re safe at the top, the darkness behind us.

When we’re not sure how to trust, we lean hard and step forward in faith, knowing that God is waiting at the top to welcome us with outstretched arms.

Story by Anna E. Rendell, as published in A Mother’s Love

A Mother’s Love: Celebrating Every Kind of Mom is full of reflections of God’s heart. Featuring unique and diverse stories from the (in)courage community, A Mother’s Love offers heartfelt encouragement to every kind of mom, whether they’re a mother in the traditional sense, mothering in a spiritual sense, or a mother-like figure who breaks the mold. This book is sure to help any woman share a meaningful gift with someone who has been impactful in her life, a new mom learning the ropes, or a close loved one facing the joys and challenges of any stage and type of motherhood.

Compiled with all women in mind so we can celebrate those who made us, shaped us, helped us grow, and loved us well, it’s a beautiful gift for the moms in your life.

To help you celebrate those women, we’re giving away FIVE copies! Just leave a comment on this post telling us about one such special woman, and you’ll be entered to win a copy of A Mother’s Love.

Order your copies of A Mother’s Love today!

The Hope of Ruined Land and Tangled Things

by

Our new home has a backyard the size of a baseball field. That’s what my husband said the first time we walked around in it. We stood on the crooked deck, gazing at the sprawling green ahead of us. We’d said we didn’t want a large yard to care for, but while we stood there, staring, what we thought we didn’t want became what we did. I saw future versions of us in that yard.

We live on Kickapooo land, at the end of a cul-de-sac at the top of a little hill, and the furthest part of our backyard backs up to a barbed wire fence with trees and tangled vines on the other side of it. The land on the other side is big and wild. Our kids call it the jungle.

We’ve spent the last few weeks cleaning out that patch of yard on our side of the barbed wire. Winter left the area covered in broken walnut shells, white weeds that look like ghosts, broken sticks, dead pine needles, and vines that fell from the trees reaching too far over the barbed wire.

Cleaning the space feels impossible. More than once, I was mad that it had gotten to the point that it did. I silently wondered if we’d made a mistake. I was overwhelmed about how much there was to do. We filled more than one trash can, then made piles in the yard so we could fill them again next week, then the week after that. And while we worked, it seemed like new weeds sprouted up like a betrayal of the earth behind our backs. Some of the least obtrusive weeds on the surface have the most stubborn, dangerous roots underneath. I tell my kids we have to get the whole root, otherwise, the weed will keep growing quicker than we can keep up.

It reminds me of the work against racism and injustice in the American Church. We tiptoe around hard topics and say yes to unity, while bristling about investing in the tools needed to uproot the weeds that choke its possibility. Just as it was easier to believe in the yard I saw in my mind when my husband and I stood on the deck for the first time, it was easier to believe in working towards a fuller picture of the imago Dei in a community of believers before the work of it made my back ache and my heart break.

Are we out of our minds to persist in learning how to tend to this land under our feet, one weed pulled, one thick vine loosened, or one how-to-tend-to article read online at a time? Are we fools to speak the truth in love, help educate, and persist in sharing our vulnerable stories as people of color, even when it feels like no one cares beyond the hour-long entertainment of a panel on racism or the comfort of another book club?

Church, what will it take for us to love the land we live on and every life that depends on it? What will it take for us to acknowledge the violence and injustice that’s occurred on it for generations and tend to the land as if we truly believe that we all belong?

I search through Scripture, and instead of finding one verse to answer all of my questions or a God who takes sides, I see a God who tends to broken things.

I see a God who, through Jeremiah, told His people to serve the land and people they lived among in exile — the ones they called enemies. He said that their welfare was tied together. He didn’t tell them to build walls and make rules about who was in or out. He told them to plant seeds and seek the prosperity of the whole city.

Recently, my daughter came running from staring at the newly bloomed flowers in front of the barbed wire, to tell me there was a monster screaming on the other side. She was convinced. I walked her back to listen and watch the way the wind blew crowded trees against each other. One stretched across another like a bow moving across a stringed instrument. Giving it another chance, she heard sad music, not monsters.

Are you staring a space of dirt where the trees have gone wild, tangled, and dead, listening to what sounds less like life and more like a thousand monsters overhead?

In Jesus, we have hope for the redemption of every broken, tangled thing.  In Him — the one who bent low to wash the feet of those He knew would betray Him, doubt Him and refuse Him — we find a way to keep tending, uprooting, and repairing.

He knows the hurts and violence sunk down deep into the dirt, and He tends to our ruins, digging up hope enough to bind our welfare together and heal the land beneath our feet.

We’re All Called to Go and Tell

by

I have struggled with what it looks like to be a Jesus-following woman who leads, teaches, and tells others about Him. It makes sense since there are many arguments and division in the church about a woman’s role in the body of Christ.

I’ve lived under limitations based on other Christians’ opinions. I’ve struggled with the rules of religion. I’ve delayed obedience to God’s answer to my prayers based on what I “thought” my role as a woman was supposed to be. I know being a woman is complex, with all the nuances of work, relationships, and faith.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to freely listen to God’s calling, live the resurrected life, and have courage to run in what God has asked me to do. I’m ready to lead because I follow Jesus and because He wants me to lead others back to Him.

During this Easter season, I thought about Mary Magdelene, Mary, and Joanna. I wondered what I would have done as a disciple of Jesus who was a woman, walking with Him, hearing teachings directly from Him, and seeing Him die and be buried in a tomb. I tried to put myself in their place, especially when they received this special groundbreaking assignment from the angel at the empty tomb:

“Go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you.” So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. And behold, Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”
Matthew 28:1-10 (ESV)

Did they think to themselves, “Doesn’t God know I’m a woman? Who will listen to me? What if they don’t believe me? Is this really my role?”

I don’t know what their personal thoughts were, but I know they overcame any potential self-talk and cultural norms with their obedient actions. These women acted in faith of what they knew to be true — Jesus was alive and others needed to know it.

God chose them to be the first to know about the completed salvation message, and they were the first to be told to “go and tell.” As they were on their way, Jesus met them. He greeted them warmly, making Himself known to them, so they could see and worship Him. That’s what we need in the middle of the journey to “go and tell,” isn’t it?

We all need to be reminded that we heard our assignment correctly, that it really was God who called us and empowers us. 

The women responded by grabbing Jesus’ feet and worshipping Him. They didn’t allow who they were to prevent them from doing so, and they continued on in obedience to do what He asked of them.

Jesus showed up to confirm that they were ready for this moment and the ones to come. He wanted them to know that they were created to share the good news and that He loved them and was with them. When Jesus calls us to go and tell of His great love story, He encourages us to stay the course and follow Him no matter what others may think. 

I find it fascinating that Mary got to tell the brothers about Jesus’ resurrection before Jesus revealed Himself to them. Why did Jesus choose this way of doing things? I don’t have an answer, but it’s always good to pay attention to God’s ways when He doesn’t go by what’s expected.

The story of these women helps me remember that no matter what others may think of God’s calling on our lives, He will make Himself known to us and will make it very clear what we are to do to spread the good news. He will meet us as we take the first step of obedience, so we have no need to be afraid to “go and tell.”

Just like the women at the tomb who brought the gospel message to the other disciples about Jesus being alive, you too are empowered to share the good news with others in creative and new ways.

God will go before you wherever He sends you. And there — wherever He’s called you — is where you will see Him for who He really is, fully alive and the Savior to all.

The Best Kind of Friend to Have and Be

by

It’s not likely many of us can remember exactly what we were doing a year ago today, but no doubt we were all adjusting to what would become a new normal: life during a global pandemic. If you were anything like me, you scoured the internet looking for updates from the CDC and your own local and national leaders, trying to figure out what to do next. Those early days were bewildering, weren’t they?

Handwashing, mask wearing, and social distancing became routine. Birthday parties, proms, graduations, and weddings were canceled. Zoom provided an alternative for business meetings and meet-ups, and thanks to livestreaming, most churches adapted to virtual worship.

Still, with all the benefit of digital advancements, social distancing gave way to social isolation. Personal engagement suffered. I’ve had some of the loneliest, darkest, and even most paralyzing moments of my adulthood over the past year.

This is what I’ve hated about COVID-19: it has divided people when we needed each other most. It has divided us physically, keeping loved ones from caring for their family during hospitalization and sometimes even end of life, but it has also divided us socially, emotionally, even spiritually as a deadly disease somehow turned into a political agenda.

After a raucous political season, ongoing racial tensions, and lingering questions surrounding COVID, we’re tired. But even if we’ve grown weary, as people of faith, we’re a people with hope! The good news of the gospel found in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus still has the power to save us from our frail, human condition.

Regardless of what we’ve seen the past year related to pandemic, politics, and protest, God still sits on His throne. He is still for us. He is mighty to save. It’s important for us to remind each other about this because fear can creep in when we’re focused on ourselves or our circumstances.

It is against this backdrop of hope that I began reading Romans the other day. Though I’ve read through this incredible book a dozen times or more, its instruction on friendship took me by surprise. Rather than flying through those first few verses in chapter one to get to the “good stuff,” I lingered —

For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God’s will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you — that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.
Romans 1:9-12 (ESV)

The Holy Spirit began imparting beautiful instruction about friendship. Paul begins by pointing his friends to the gospel, and he lets them know he is continually praying for them. What if we did this for our friends? What if our everyday, ordinary conversations were seasoned with salt and life and had the substance of eternal value?

In the second half of verse 10 and the first part of verse 11, can’t you sense Paul’s deep longing to see his friends in Rome? After the year we’ve had where we haven’t been able to see those we love and care about without restriction, I can identify with Paul in a way I hadn’t been able to before. There’s a desperation to his desire to be with them, and as we continue reading, we see that this isn’t self-serving; he wants to strengthen them spiritually.

In this friendship Paul shares with the Roman church, there’s mutual benefit to the relationship. They’re encouraged by one another’s faith. There’s a humility and earnestness in Paul’s words that indicate his heart is truly other minded.

Can you imagine how your friendships might be revolutionized by putting these principles into practice? There’s no better friend to have and be than the kind who points others to Christ, prays continually, and is mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.